I’m folding clothes and watching HGTV, and this show called “Pet Pads” just came on. I’ve seen it once before, when it featured a couple in Texas with two adorable Westies, and the couple had built all sorts of dog-friendly features into their home. I enjoyed the show very much.
But today I’m, um, struggling. This epsiode features a woman in Washington who has 17 PIGS living in her home. Not dogs. Not cats. PIGS. And the woman calls herself “the pig whisperer.”
Ahem.
So I would like to document several of her quotes and let you, the reader, come to your own conclusions.
“We built three different areas for our pigs to sleep in in the living room.”
“I have, probably, pretty close to 4500 pig items in this house.”
“This section [of pig cubbies] is [modeled after] a hacienda.”
“We bought this house because it was one level and we don’t have to worry about the pigs going up and down steps or anything.”
“The pigs can’t walk on tile. They slip. So we had all the carpet installed for the pigs.”
“There isn’t a room in this house that isn’t decorated with pigs.”
“This is a pig-only bath.”
“Anything we do is pig-related.”
And her pigs have names like Hog-N-Das, Cinnabon, and Pigstachio.
And she sings them to sleep.
And I’m trying really, really hard to be open-minded. I promise I am.
Do y’all think she eats bacon?
You know, I have a hard time wrapping my head around “collections,” period. I mean I get it if your great-great grandmother passed down beautiful crystal, and I get it if you like a certain kind of glass or pottery, to a point. But venture into craft store “figurine’ territory and you’ve lost me.
And re: HGTV, Merritt – I have determined that no one on the west coast knows how to properly make a bed. On House Hunters, nine times out of ten the people have comforters pulled up over the bed pillows. The end. Nothing decorative about it.
Well, she’s just crazy and that’s all there is to it. Needs some professional help.
Why would they think anyone half-way normal would be interested in watching pig house? Must be for the shock factor or something along those lines……I guess…..?
I draw the line with anyone that has more than four pets ( of any variety ) so I can’t even begin to comment on 17! All I could think about was Suzanne Sugarbaker though, which made me laugh. Couldn’t help but wonder if this crazy woman buys little “pig pumps” for all her girl pigs.
Bubba – I almost called you so you could see firsthand the decorative travesties (traveSTYs, hee hee) that occur when one incorporates themed pig dwellings into one’s decor. But then I figured you didn’t have to see it – and that if you did see it, you would start to scream “MY EYES! MY EYES!” as you backed away from the television.
Check your email.
I have one client who “collected” pigs. Not the breathing variety, but pigs nonetheless. She is a very bright 44 year old physician, but somewhere along the line someone convinced here to collect PIGS! It took me awhile to “wrap my head” around it. Not that I have anything against pork, so to speak, but after about a year I finally got them confined to the “mud” room and I think we are BOTH happier!
And my eyes don’t burn anymore!
Bubba, that is so funny! I often wonder as I watch those shows on HGTV (like House Hunters) “what in the WORLD are those people thinking?!??!!” I’ll bet you have seen some interesting things in your day. Feel free to elaborate here with any other strange requests, collections, etc.
Boomama….you should always call when there is something good on HGTV! I quit tivo-ing everything on there because they took up too much space on the hard drive and I never seemed to get back to them. I can’t WAIT for the day that tivos can talk to each other like laptops on the worldwide interweb, so you can send me stuff I need to see! For all I know, they already can and I am just out of the loop!!
I also need to know how many pillows you have on your bed when fully made.
Merritt…I have seen just about everything. The good, the bad, and the UGLY! I’ve got a funny story for you both that I will email
Bubba – When fully made there are 6 pillows on my bed. Three bed pillows, precisely propped along the headboard, and then three large decorative pillows in front (two in the same pattern, one in a complimentary pattern). It is very simple. But I never, and I mean never, pull my comforter up over the bed pillows. A bedspread, sure. But a comforter? Too bulky.
J would say that BooMama’s bed is covered with “stunt” pillows.