Archives for October 2006

My cousin Paige always says that when the weather is cool, deer like to move.

Well she wasn’t kidding.

Alex and I were on the way to church tonight when a deer that was in fact on the move came in direct contact with my car, which was also on the move.

Alex and I are fine.

But the deer and the car, they didn’t fare as well.

I still don’t know exactly what happened…Alex and I were riding along, talking about what song we were going to listen to, and suddenly there was this large tawny-colored mass in front of us. The deer tried to leap out of the way, but it was too late, as the front of my car can testify.

After the unfortunate incident occurred, I pulled over to the side of the road and called D to tell him what happened. And when I couldn’t get Alex to calm down – preschoolers are understandably frightened when a disconcertingly large animal comes in direct contact with the front of their vehicle – we turned around and came home.

I looked for the deer on our way back to the house, and he was nowhere to be found. This led me to believe that he may have just been badly bruised (I was only going about 30 mph) and then hobbled off into the woods. I hope that’s the case, at least.

Somehow it makes me feel better to think that maybe he and his deer buddies are sitting around a campfire right about now, re-hashing the whole episode. My deer friend would be wearing a very large Ace bandage around his right hind leg, of course, maybe limping more than is necessary in front of all the lady deer so that he gets a little extra sympathy and some chocolate chip cookies.

It would be really nice if he’d pay my insurance deductible, but I’m probably out of luck on that one. Since the deer have a different currency system and all.

I hope he doesn’t sue!

And seriously, I really do hope he’s okay.

Bless his little deer heart.

* – punniest. title. evir.

For the last couple of days I have felt physically ill when I’ve thought of the shootings in Pennsylvania and the whole Mark Foley deal. When I think about those poor children in Lancaster my eyes fill up with tears, and when I think about Mark Foley my blood pressure shoots up to about 490 over 380, so I probably shouldn’t think about him for very long lest my heart explode.

Normally I don’t mention anything to do with politics on my blog because, well, who really cares what I think? There are all sorts of pundits on TV and on the internet who can weigh in sixty five times a day on eleventy billion issues, so my two cents is pretty much worth, you know, nothing.

But I do want to say something about the Mark Foley stuff and then I’ll never mention him on this blog again. And keep in mind that I’m just venting. VENT-ING. Because it’s my blog and I can.

So. Here I go.

When a clergyperson or parent or teacher or coach or political figure or whathaveyou uses his or her power and influence and authority to interact inappropriately with a minor – whether it’s by instant messaging or emailing or engaging in activities that are far worse and far more emotionally scarring than anything I care to put into words – then that person should go to jail.

Not rehab. Not counseling. JAIL.

Because the exploitation of children and teenagers is disgusting, it’s reprehensible, and IT IS CRIMINAL.

Congressman Foley says he was abused as a teenager by a clergyman and that while the abuse is (obviously) not the reason why he acted inappropriately with young boys, it is the reason he’s been plagued by shame for many years. I can’t imagine enduring something so horrific, and my heart really does go out to him for suffering as he must have done and as he must continue to do.

No one should ever have to endure such abuse.

No one deserves it, no one asks for it, no one chooses it. Period. As a survivor of abuse, Congressman Foley should know that better than anyone.

And I think that’s my biggest problem with the whole ordeal: Mark Foley DOES know firsthand the mental, physical, spiritual and emotional torment that victims of inappropriate relationships have to endure – and for him to PERPETUATE that? For him to POLITICIZE that? And then for other people to remain silent – even though they knew that he’d targeted young boys – because they were afraid THEY’D LOSE A SEAT IN CONGRESS?

It’s deplorable.

Because while Mark Foley’s career may be ruined, his victims’ lives will be forever affected by his behavior. But as far as I can tell, very few of Congressman Foley’s colleagues – on either side of the aisle – seem to be as concerned with the victims as they are with spinning this scandal as a means to a political end.

And that, my friends, is a travesty in and of itself.

It makes me sick.

It makes me angry.

And it breaks my heart – for the victims and for their families.

I’m done now.

I don’t feel any better.

But I’m done.

I would love to tell you that Alex came back home Sunday and transitioned seamlessly into our regular routine and our regular rules, and I guess technically I could tell you that, but it would be a lie, and seeing as how I punished Alex this afternoon for not telling me the truth about his alleged involvement with pushing the buttons on the TiVo, I should probably practice what I’ve been preaching.

So the truth of the matter is that it’s feeling increasingly like some sort of toddler behavioral detox in our neck of the woods. OH MY MERCY it’s taking every ounce of patience I have to handle Mr. Sassy McBritches and not to go in our bedroom and shut the door and eat Ruffles and french onion dip while maintaining a non-stop connection to an endless diet Coke spigot.

While watching “Notting Hill” and “Ocean’s 11” over and over and over.

Be sure to visit here often for more Effective Parenting Tips!

And it really is good to have the little man at home again – especially just a second ago when I took a couple of hot dogs out on the deck for D. to cook with the hamburgers, and Alex jumped up and down and said, “OH! I LOVE! HOT DOGS! THANK YOU MAMA!”

(The child totally has my number with the boundless enthusiasm deal. Because I pretty much don’t care what you tell me as long as you say it! With exclamation points! And then! It’s all better!)

But in addition to trying to figure out how to wrangle the little man, I’m trying to figure out how to wrangle myself, too. I can, um, get a little, um, obsessive about my house, and having it on the market seems to magnify that tendency. I am trying to make my peace with the fact that people may actually be sitting on the couches, that I may actually have to cook in the kitchen, that I can’t actually live with some sort of protective plastic covering on the stairs (I really did suggest that last one to D. yesterday after we had the carpet cleaned, and I was Totally Serious).

Perhaps I need to find a little balance in this situation.

You think?

So right now I’m letting Alex splash in the tub, despite the fact that he’s making a bit of a mess. And there are two plastic bins of toys completely emptied out in the middle of the living room floor. And there are dishes from supper just sitting in the sink, because I am LAID BACK AND DEVIL MAY CARE-ISH, that’s what I am!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to run the vacuum for the fourth time today.

(Issues! I have issues!)

This post by Antique Mommy sums up so much of what I feel when I look at my own little man lately. Very bittersweet to watch the “baby” get older.

This post by our friend Kevin is just beautiful. Love his heart.

Finally, while I promise that I didn’t write this post
at my friend Big Mama’s, I could have. OOOOOH I could have. And my OCD is in RARE form these last few days what with trying to get the house ready to sell. Last night Alex actually looked at me and said, “Mama? I need some TOYS.”

Have a great Tuesday!

This meme courtesy of my friend Barb…

Favorite memory of your mother?
I have lots of favorite memories of Mama – some sweet, some funny, some downright hard to believe. I don’t think I can pick a favorite, although this one is certainly way up there.

Another Mama Memory – and one I’ve never blogged about – is from the night D proposed. I was spending the weekend in my hometown, and I didn’t get to Mama and Daddy’s house until late that Friday afternoon. D was coming into town, and Mama and Daddy knew that he was planning to give me a ring (being a good Southern boy and all, he had asked my daddy’s permission several weeks beforehand).

Anyway, when I walked in Mama and Daddy’s house with my weekend luggage, Mama surveyed me from head to toe and said, “Are you planning to wear that tonight?” I had on a pair of jeans and a sweater, and I thought I was perfectly attired for the trip to a Mexican restaurant that D. and I were planning.

Ever the clueless one, I said, “Um, yeah – we’re just going out to eat.”

And Mama, in the most gentle of tones, said, “Well, I think you might want to change. You might want to wear something a little dressier tonight.”

I ended up not changing clothes, and D. did in fact propose about an hour later as we sat on Mama and Daddy’s couch.

And later that night, I realized the reason for Mama’s concern with my attire: she didn’t want me to get engaged with blue jeans on.

If you’re a Southern girl, you can totally appreciate that.

Favorite memory of your father?
When Alex was about four months old, he would sit in Daddy’s lap for hours on end. Alex would kick his legs constantly, and Daddy thought it was so funny…they would just look at each other and giggle, completely entertained by one another. It was the beginning of a very sweet relationship between those two. Seeing Daddy as a grandfather has given me a whole new appreciation for him as a father. It’s been a good thing.

Favorite memory of your siblings?
It’s a long story, but my absolute favorite memory with Sister is the time we were driving a UHaul (or, as my mama says, a “U-Haul-It”) down Peachtree Road in Atlanta, and when Sister applied the brakes on an incline, the ladder in the back of the UHaul hit the door, which in turn opened just enough (that little “safety lock” feature wasn’t working, apparently) so that the ladder landed in the middle of Peachtree.

I laughed so hard that I really think I lost consciousness for a brief period of time.

My favorite memory of my brother is when we were in New York City about five years ago. As we were leaving this pretty snazzy restaurant, we found ourselves underneath an awning with Ivana Trump. I didn’t dare say anything, mainly because I was afraid she’d poke out one of my eyes using only that perfectly coiffed tower of hair on the top of her head, but after we all got loaded into our car, my brother leaned out of it and honored Ms. Trump with the loudest, most redneck whistle you’ve ever heard in your life…the kind of whistle where you have to put your fingers in your mouth first so that it’s really good and shrill.

I didn’t lose consciousness from laughing that time, but I definitely wet my pants. Cracks me up just thinking about it.

What one skill would you like to wake up tomorrow and be able to do (though you’d never learned it)?

I would sing like an angel. I’d also love to be able to draw.

Which one of your dreams has come true?

I am not, by nature, a dreamer. I tend to err on the side of practical. But, as a teenager, I used to hope that I’d be married to someone who was also my very best friend – someone I could talk to for hours and who would make me laugh. So if we’re calling that a “dream,” it definitely came true.

Yay. :-)

Now I’ll tag anyone else who is suffering from writer’s block…leave me a note in the comments if you decide to do this one!

Our house goes on the market Tuesday, which means that D and I have been in full-on home improvement mode since Thursday. And right now I’m really tempted to say that I’ve been “staging” my house because Emma Kate informed me this afternoon that the word “staging” really gets on her nerves, so I asked her what in the world would I call all the arranging and re-arranging if not “staging,” and she said that I should just say “fixin’ it up.”

So, just for Emma Kate: we have been “fixin’ up” the house. Because goodness gracious doesn’t that just sound so much better than “staging”?

Anyway, we have been busy. And since Alex has been at his grandparents’ house, we have really enjoyed our time together. It’s been a real reminder that we don’t need to wait until we decide to put a house on the market to take some time for just the two of us. It’s been fun – and as ready as I am to see the little man, I am very, very grateful to have had the last four days with D. It’s been good. Great, in fact. We needed it.

Don’t forget that Lauren is having her Bloggy Tour of Testimonies today…I’ve posted mine before, but if I can find it in the archives I will certainly be adding it to her Mr. Linky.

In the completely trivial news department, if you watch “Project Runway,” are you shocked to learn that Uli – the designer who makes every single dress out of a print – is 25? Because I saw that this weekend when a re-run was on, and I was FLOORED because no kidding I thought she was in her late 30’s (in other words, MY age).

I’ll be back with some form of narrative cohesion later. But right now I have to go get ready because I have to be back at church at 5:15. We’d love for you to join us.