As planned, the weekend found me participating in exciting activities such as washing clothes, folding clothes, putting away clothes, and hanging up clothes. I know you hate that you missed the minute-by-minute details of it all, but never fear: Us magazine came by and took some pictures and will be chronicling the whole Laundry Spectacular in their January 29 issue.
Just to, you know, remind Britney and Paris about what underwear looks like and all.
GOODNIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!
The weekend really was great, except for the part where D. and I had a bit of a disagreement Saturday morning after Alex started screaming crying because the FedEx man didn’t stay here long enough for them to have a lengthy conversation. I signed for the package, and when the FedEx man started walking back up the driveway, Alex started screaming “BUT I WANTED TO SAY GOOD MORNING, MAMA! I WANTED TO SAY GOOD MORNING!”
I tried (unsuccessfully) to calm him down and then he threw open the front door and tried to chase the FedEx man up the hill. So D. used Stern Voice to tell Alex to come back inside and I was all “don’t be too hard on him, he just wanted to be friendly” and D. was all “I think it’s probably a good idea to teach him that he shouldn’t chase after strangers,” which, in retrospect, is an excellent point, but at the time all I could think about was that my child was upset because he didn’t get a chance to ask the delivery man how he was doing on a fine Saturday morning, oh bless his heart.
Good times.
But I did get a few little decorating projects done around the house, and I did play trains with Alex, and I did watch lots of movies, and I did stay in my pajamas a shameful amount of time. I also went to TJ Maxx (twice!), Ross (back tomorrow!), and Old Time Pottery (want to go back right now!) because I’ve been on the hunt for some big, bright, funky vases to go on top of the cabinet behind our bar.
Now you may not realize this, because I certainly wasn’t privy to this information until we bought this house, but apparently people who built homes in 1974 didn’t even try to conceal the wet bar behind doors. They just put the bar in the corner of the living room and made it a focal point, hence the need for accessorizing.
To wit:
And now that I’ve actually uploaded the picture of the bar and examined said picture closely, I feel that a few clarifications might be in order:
1) Yes, I do blog from the bar. And what you see on the computer is the draft of the post you’re reading right now, which really makes this particular image just like a house of mirrors, people. It’s a house of mirrors!
2) The brass thing with the pinecones in it (to the right of the computer) has absolutely no business being on the bar. But I was moving stuff around this weekend, and I didn’t really have anywhere to put it, so I just stuck it there. However, now I feel that it might give our guests the impression that, as they enjoy their favorite beverage, they should feel free to snack on not only pinecones but dried gourds as well. Which is neither very appetizing nor hospitable, now is it?
3) Yes, that’s a cross you see hanging behind the bar. Why? I don’t know – maybe I was trying to give the bar area a certain Baptist charm? Like yes, we’re Baptist, and yes, we have a big bar in our living room, but we have the cross hanging back there so it can make all the fire water holy?
Have mercy.
4) There’s an empty wine rack. What’s the point? Because it’s cute, maybe? But if there’s no wine, isn’t it sort of a needless accessory? Have I become more Baptist than I ever dreamed?
(Answer: no. Because if that were the case, I’d have all the wine hidden under the cabinets so y’all couldn’t see it.)
BADA-BING! THANK YOU!
5) If you look very carefully through the glass on the second door from the right, you’ll see juice glasses. ORANGE JUICE GLASSES. Behind the bar.
Clearly I am undeserving of the bar amenity.
6) Check out the light fixture. It came with the house, and it makes me want to sing the theme from “Cheers.” As an added bonus, it has a dimmer, which really creates some romantic mood lighting when you’ve sidled up to the bar to drink a little OJ from one of those juice glasses with big yellow flowers. Or when you’d like a glass of pretend wine from the empty wine rack.
Never let it be said that we don’t know how to entertain with style, my friends.
Anyway. To get back to my point (just so you know: I had to scroll back up to the top of the post, re-read what I’d written, and only then was I able to discern what my original point was), I wanted some funky vases in bright colors to go on the top of the cabinet behind the bar. I mean, if I don’t have any wine to offer our visitors, the least I can do is to say “LOOK! PRETTY COLORS!”
And I found just what I was looking for:
Thus concludes the most pointless post in the history of the internet, brought to you with pride by yours truly.
It has been my distinct privilege to assist you in wasting your time.
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