Archives for August 2008

To Know This Love That Surpasses Knowledge

One day a month or so ago Alex and I were in Publix, and completely out of the blue he asked me if he will go to heaven one day. Because I was a little distracted by the fact that at some point pot roasts have started to cost about the same as a cute pair of shoes from Target, I sort of off-handedly replied, “Well, yes, buddy, if you have asked Jesus into your heart, then yes, you will go to heaven.”

And then Alex got very quiet, and after about a full minute of Deep Soul Searching, he screamed “JEEEEEEEEEEEE-SUS! COME INTO MY HEART!” right there next to the pot roasts, only he said it not like he recognized his fallen heart’s need for a Savior but more like he was aggravated with Jesus for not sharing His toys.

So while I wasn’t completely sure that the little man was clear on some of the more fundamental doctrinal issues, I was entirely certain that Jesus had good reason to take issue with his tone.

But then, about five minutes later, when I was seized by TOE CRAMPS, of all things – toe cramps so severe that I could not imagine that my left foot would ever function properly again – I told the little man that I had to stop for a second before THE PAIN MADE MY KNEES BUCKLE, and he responded by saying, “Mama, I would like to tell a prayer for you.”

I said that would be wonderful, so we bowed our heads right there in front of the dairy case and he put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Dear God. Please help Mama’s toes to feel better in Publix so that she can wear her shoe. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.” And he was so deeply sincere about the whole thing that I wondered for a split second if his profession of faith over in the meat department wasn’t the real deal after all.

I’ll probably never know exactly what was going on in Alex’s heart and mind that day in the grocery store, but I do know that he’s been chock-full-o-curiosity ever since. So we’ve spent last few weeks talking through all sorts of four year-old questions about God, and while part of me thinks that four is too young for a child to have any real grasp of sin and sacrifice and atonement and resurrection, a much bigger part of me knows that there is no faith as simple and profound as the faith of a child.

I also know that this is the time to plant those seeds of faith and then water them as much as we possibly can so that the little man’s roots will grow deep, so that one day he will be able, as Paul wrote, “to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that [he] may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

And so, we answer Alex’s questions. We talk about God. We talk about the joys of knowing Him, of serving Him, of trusting Him. We pray that he sees evidence of those joys as he watches his mama and daddy work out their faith every single day.

And it has been, quite simply, one of the sweetest times of my whole life.

Before Alex was born, I imagined that this child whose face I had not yet seen would sit with me at a desk while I carefully read passages of Scripture aloud. Everything would be Perfectly Orderly; I would Teach With Care while my child Listened Attentively. Then we would clasp our hands together and begin the walk toward faith with lockstep precision, only stopping long enough for him to surrender to whatever calling God might have on his life.

Because I wasn’t idealistic or anything.

But the reality, as anybody with a little one knows, is absolutely nothing like that. The daily process of teaching and leading a precious little heart is about as methodical as herding a room full of cats. And you know what else? It is hard. On every single level. So much of parenting uncovers our own imperfections, and we are constantly being humbled, broken and refined in our own lives while we try to nurture the little lives that have been entrusted to us. Did I mention that it’s hard?

There are days when I’m really disappointed in myself as a mother; I get so tired of struggling to balance the things I need to do with the things I want to do, and as a result of that I am confronted with the reality of my selfishness over and over again. It’s a mighty good thing indeed that I don’t have to parent in my own strength, because I’ll tell you right now that I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t last a day.

But the rewards of parenting? They really are huge. They’re immeasurable. They’re eternal. And the longer I’m a mama, the more I find that the most teachable moments in terms of faith don’t require much organization or planning on my part. They don’t necessarily happen while we’re sitting in a church service or when we’re Reviewing Memory Verses With Great Intention, though certainly I believe that God uses those things.

For me the most breathtaking moments – the times when D and I are both able to share our faith with the most sincerity and transparency – are when Alex picks up a maple leaf from the ground and then says, with wonder, “GOD MADE THIS!” Or when he runs into the house after being outside and says, “Mama! I missed you! And I talked to Jesus while I played!” Or when he’s sick with a stomach virus and says, through his tears, “Mama? Will you always take care of me? Will God always take care of me?”

Or even when he puts his hand on my shoulder in the middle of a crowded grocery store and prays for my toe cramps while we stand next to six different brands of sour cream.

In many ways motherhood is absolutely nothing like I imagined but so much more than I expected. And for me, right now, the greatest joy is sharing the Greatest Joy with a four year-old who may get a little cloudy on the theological details – but whose heart is wide open.

I cannot imagine any greater privilege.

This post was originally published on October 23, 2007.

Pillow Talk

I have mentioned before that my mama keeps a beautiful home. In fact, her idea of heaven on earth would be to have four or five days of blissful alone time so that she could dust every single picture frame, clean vast expanses of baseboards and wash each window with her homemade glass-cleaning solution (wiping only with newspaper, girls. only with newspaper. paper towels leave pesky streaks). And then, for kicks, she would launder all her table linens, hang them up to dry, and press them to perfection with a red-hot Oreck iron.

You see, housekeeping, for Mama, isn’t so much a chore as a calling, and she does it better than anyone else I know.

If there’s any crack at all in my mama’s firm housekeeping foundation, it’s that she favors form over function. It’s not a big deal, really – it’s simply a result of her desire for everything to look pretty. She doesn’t like unsightly objects to disturb her decorative flow, and that is why she once placed a large hall tree in front of the air conditioner thermostat in my childhood home.

Now granted, the hall tree looked lovely, but there was absolutely no way to make a middle-of-the-night trip to the bathroom without slamming a substantial portion of my thigh against it. Once I limped back to my bedroom and gingerly crawled into bed, however, at least I could sleep with the assurance that Mama’s aesthetic sensibilities were preserved by keeping that unsightly thermostat out of sight. And besides, that deep purple thigh-welt was bound to fade with time.

When Mama and Daddy moved to another house about a year and a half ago, my sister and I made it our mission to give Mama more function, even if that meant sacrificing a bit of her beloved decorative form. I spent several weeks in my hometown before the big move, cleaning out closets, setting up for the mother of all garage sales, and trying to help Mama sort through over forty years of accumulated stuff.

“At the new house,” I would say, “you can streamline.”

“At the new house,” I would say, “you can focus more on function.”

But Mama just doesn’t have it in her. She would cover up the pipes on the back of a commode if Daddy would let her. Seriously. She’d go pick out some floral fabric, consult with a seamstress, and then pay somebody to make pipe cozies. She absolutely would.

And trying to convince her that it’s perfectly fine for a thermostat to be visible is like trying to teach a cat to bark. It goes against the natural order of the universe.

At least now, in the new house, the massive book cabinet that’s covering the thermostat is out of the line of traffic. You don’t have to worry about taking out a chunk of your shin while trying to walk around it, but you do have to find a flashlight and then shine it behind the bookcase in order to read the thermostat settings. This process drives Daddy to complete distraction but leaves Mama sighing with contentment, as does the sage green velour throw that’s artfully draped across an inoperable wall heater in their den.

This past weekend D. was helping me make up the bed at Mama and Daddy’s house, something he hasn’t done very often because the intricacy of Mama’s bed-making system can be a little intimidating. All things considered, he was doing pretty well; after almost ten years of marriage to me, he understands that the process is far more elaborate than pulling a bedspread over some pillows. He realizes that on my mama’s side of the family, making up the bed means that it’s time to put on your protective goggles and get ready to do some hard labor. It’s not for the faint of heart.

As we were working on pulling up layer-o-cover #4, Mama swooped into the room and picked up the pillows we’d slept on the night before. I didn’t think a thing of it because I know the routine, but D. paused for just a second and said, “Hey. Your mama just took all the pillows. What’s she doing with them?”

“Putting them in the closet,” I said.

“Putting them in the closet? Why?” he asked.

“Because she doesn’t think they’re pretty enough to be on the bed.”

D. could not quit laughing. Even when he was getting into the shower several minutes later, I could hear him chuckling across the hall.

Several years ago my friend Daphne’s husband coined the phrase Stunt PillowsTM to refer to the purely decorative pillows, the ones that are often the very essence of form over function. They look great, for sure – but don’t you even think about using them for something as mundane as sleeping. That would never, ever do.

With that in mind, please examine the following three pictures:

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Based on the photographic evidence, I feel it is appropriate – and dare I say, necessary – to christen my mama’s house as The Stunt Pillow PalaceTM of America.

If you’d like to take a tour, I can probably arrange it. I know she’d be delighted to show you how she concealed an unused electrical outlet in her kitchen by hanging a picture in front of it.

But don’t you even think about stretching out on one of her beds.

Not unless you make a trip to the Functional Pillow Closet first.

This post was originally published on January 30, 2007.

The Faces

I guess on some level I tried to prepare myself for what I was going to see once we got to Uganda. I’ve never been overseas before, and truth be told I’ve probably never seen real poverty up close and personal, though I thought I had.

But all I can think about right now is how I have managed to live my whole life without any idea at all about what real poverty looks like.

Earlier today we visited one of Compassion’s partner churches (Compassion does all of its work through local churches), and I was deeply touched by the kindness and the faith of the people there. They told us about their ministry in the community, introduced us to some of the children involved in their programs, and answered every single question we had with absolute grace and candor.

Then we walked outside the building.

And I’m telling you: there is nothing aside from Divine Revelation that could have prepared me for what I saw. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.

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These are the rooms behind the church where the kids have what we would call Sunday School. And compared to what we saw next, those Sunday School rooms were the absolute lap of luxury.

We split into groups and walked just across the street to visit with some families who live in the area. We made our way up a short hill, and as we rounded the corner I saw something that I will never, ever forget. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.

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You have no idea what this little girl has done to my heart. No idea at all.

She’s an orphan who lives with her aunt. Her aunt is HIV-positive and struggles to provide for the two of them. And they live in a room that is no bigger than the half bath in my house. It has a straw floor, cardboard walls, and a sheet for a door.

I cry just thinking about it.

And yet she was just one of many children all around us – children who live in a level of poverty that is absolutely incomprehensible, even when you’re so close that you can see it and touch it and smell it.

For about twenty minutes I took pictures of the kids and then let them look at the screen on the back of my camera. It was evident that several of them had never seen their own faces before.

And I just keep thinking that we have to see these kids’ faces. We have to see these kids’ faces. They are not statistics, they are not case studies, they are not random images on public service announcements.

They are precious, sweet, loving faces. Just like your children. Just like mine. And we have to – WE HAVE TO – see them.

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We have to.

Because if we don’t, who will?

This post was originally published on February 12, 2008.

You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When I Go

Back in February Keely told me that Dave Barnes (I’m not sure if y’all realize this, but I kind of enjoy him) did a stand-up show in Nashville last year, and she said, “Hey, if he does one again this year, y’all should totally try to be there.”

And I was all, “Well, um, DONE.”

The stand-up show was this past Thursday night, and IT WAS A DELIGHT. Before the show the husband and I had dinner with some fun friends, and I cannot adequately express what a great meal we had.

However, there are two magical words that just may help you to understand: CHEESE FRITTERS.

After dinner we went to the Dave Barnes comedy extravaganza, and while we didn’t conduct an official survey, the four of us were pretty confident that we were the oldest people there. By a considerable margin. And the age difference was made all the more evident by the fact that Travis started to yawn A LOT about ten minutes before the show started, which, by the way, was at 7:30.

SORRY WE KEPT YOU OUT SO LATE, PAPAW.

On Friday Sister and I shopped the day away just as we’d planned, but I’m afeared that something must be deeply, terribly wrong with me because I did not buy one thing.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I bought a twelve-pack of diet Coke and a pack of IceBreakers gum. But unfortunately I cannot actually wear those items. Unless I find myself in the middle of some sort of impromptu Project Runway challenge, of course.

Friday night at something like 1:30 in the morning (is that contradictory? to say “Friday night…in the morning”? rest assured that my intention is not to confuse), Sister and I were sitting in her den – with our respective laptops, of course – just like a couple of sixteen year-olds who had nothing to do but scour the web while we watched video after video on CMT.

Which reminds me: the median age for a female country music artist? Is now seven.

Anyway, at some point in our late night / early morning interweb surfing we realized that lots of blogs wouldn’t load at all in Internet Explorer. And we also realized that it was taking my blog approximately four hours to load in Safari and Firefox. As it turned out (thanks, Twitter, for the help!) there were two culprits: Site Meter and Bible Promise. So I took down the code for both, and then everything worked perfectly fine.

You may have heard me sigh audibly around 2:30 Saturday morning.

And please, let’s remember: the Bible still has promises. You just won’t be finding them in my sidebar until I can figure out why those promises take so long to load.

Perhaps my blawg is in a season of spiritual rebellion. Sort of like its author in her early 20s.

Ahem.

So.

I guess I should get to my point (aside from the fourteen inconsequential things I’ve already discussed, none of which will increase the quality of your life even one teensy tiny bit; however, you are probably all too aware that I consider rambling to be one of my spiritual gifts).

Here we go.

I’m going to take a bit of a bloggy break for the next couple of weeks. We need to get ready for the school year and then get in the swing of our new schedule, and I want to do that without self-imposed deadlines looming over my silly little head. I have some stuff from my archives scheduled to auto-post, and hopefully that will prove to be mildly entertaining if you have a day where you’re absolutely desperate to be mildly entertained.

I live to serve, you know.

I’ll still be posting over at allaccess a couple of times a week, so check in with us there if you get a chance.

And if all goes as planned, I’ll be back here around August 18th-ish.

See you soon, everybody!