The Chlorine Has Sapped My Sense

I don’t really think there’s any point pretending that I can string words into sentences right now. I have passed regular tired and arrived at silly tired. And that is why, at the pool tonight, my cousin Paige and I were hysterical talking about all the acrobatic maneuvers we used to perform in the water when we were kids. And then we even tried a few of them. You can imagine how delighted I am to tell you that Paige can still do a mean handstand with a lightning-fast scissor split.

And I may or may not still be able to do a super-awesome back flip. It all just depends on whether or not my back cramps mid-way through and I have to abandon the flip for more of a twist-type effect.

Oddly enough this was not a problem that I faced when I was 11.

Anyway, this week is our annual Cousins’ Beach Trip. Today was Day One. We got here at 4 this afternoon, and we left the pool at 10:45 tonight.

And while I can’t say for sure that I’m at an all-time end-of-summer high in terms of being completely dried out by chlorine, I’m prone to think that I am since it took approximately 1/2 cup of Eucerin to get my skin feeling even remotely moisturized after my post-pool shower. I also think that my hair has passed the point of no return. There is no amount of conditioner that can revitalize its texture. I think I just need to get it cut really short and then scatter it in some sort of wagon and then tell the kids we’re going on a hayride.

Or perhaps I could use it for mulch considering that it currently has the consistency of pine straw.

But beauty issues aside, I am just tickled to be here. This is always such a fun week for our family, and this year is going to be better than ever because even more of the family is joining the fun. Wacky hijinks are sure to be had by all.

There is also a very large quantity of snack food that is sure to be enjoyed by all. I am tempted to show you a picture of what’s in our cabinets right now, but I’d be way too embarrassed. Apparently this is the year when we decided we’d err on the side of ridiculous in the “chips and crackers” category. You won’t find a whole lot of protein in this condo right now unless it’s in the form of peanut butter or string cheese.

But you will definitely find four different kinds of potato chips, cheese balls, Whales, Triscuits (two kinds), tortilla chips, Chex Mix, pita chips, pretzel sticks and Sun Chips. And if we break into the Sun Chips, HEAVEN KNOWS you’ll hear us – that new bag leaves no Sun Chip snacking unpunished. Sweet mercy it’s noisy.

So that’s all that’s going on here. Some loud, happy children and some tired, happy grown-ups. Lots of potential for overloading on empty carbs. And – my favorite – a whole bunch of laughter.

Have a great Monday, y’all.

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  1. Hay ride? Okay, that almost made me spew my coffee. My hair has the texture of hay all year long, unfortunately, and not just during the summer months.

  2. But the Sun Chips bag is BIODEGRADABLE. :)



  4. I love the hay ride scenario! Too funny.

  5. I laughed out loud with the noisy Sun Chip bag comment! I’m not about destroying the earth, but surely the loudness of that bag does it own damage. If I didn’t LOVE those chips so much I would never buy another bag. But, I do love them. I was at grocery the other door and 3 aisle over I thought to myself “that customer shares my love the Sun Chips”. I could hear them that far away! Glad you had fun at the pool and more importantly, glad you didn’t pull or fracture anything trying pool stunts.

  6. Loved the hair comments: feeling your pain. My hairdresser said I’d “de-natured” my hair with my Chi. (Can I just shave my head bald and start all over? In this Texas heat, that may be a good option.) I really think you need to give it up for a picture of the snack cabinets. Have a great time!

  7. Jennifer says:

    Your post just made me realize that I forgot to send you an awesome dip recipe–a sweet and sour dip that contains both cream cheese and bacon! It’s so good it’s almost offensive. I’ll get my hands on the recipe (it’s a friend’s) before football season. I’d hate for you to experience Bulldog football without it. Have fun at the beach!

  8. Oh the Sun Chips – you ain’t never lie.

    And though it may have taken 1/2 cup of it, thank heaven for Eucerin. I highly doubt that there is a better moisturizer under the sun. Or after the sun. Or whichever preposition you fancy.

    One last thing, I love Cousin Time. It is the best time.

  9. Is peanut butter not the best form of protein?

    And string cheese–y’all should totally whip up a batch of Ree’s Mozzarella Sticks. I’ve made them weekly for our household viewing of the show we love to hate: The Bachelorette. And they are DE-licious! Of course, you’ll need a few ingredients you likely don’t have but I promise it will be worth it!

  10. Re: the Sun Chips bag…

    I KNOW, RIGHT?? I can’t sneak a Sun Chip (or twelve) without my kids (who are in the playroom on the second floor) hearing me and running downstairs for a little taste, as well!

  11. I’m with Rena… Fry those bad boys up in some Panko breadcrumbs! BTW, you will be pleased to know that you inspired me to buy the spinach and artichoke hummus with the pita chips. I’ve made a glutton of myself this weekend. Have a great time at the pool! And maybe you could try some Silk Therapy on your hair. Biosilk makes it, but you can find it at Walmart. It’s kinda pricey, but you only have to use a dime-sized amount. Seriously, one bottle has lasted me three years. It works wonders on the dry ends! Believe me! And rub it on your skin, too. It will thank you! :)

  12. That kind of trip sounds absolutely FABULOUS, empty carbs and all.
    And while I adore Sun Chips, I am loathing that dern noisy bag.

  13. Oh my goodness! The ‘hay ride’ had me howling. Have a fabulous trip!


  14. I’m convinced that Jenny Craig and the maker of Sun Chips have co-conspired to make sure none of us can sneak a snack.

  15. Sounds like a blast! And just to note, if you drink diet soda with all those snacks, it totally negates all fat and calories. So enjoy!

  16. Cousins…like siblings except without the rivalry. Have fun!

  17. I am pea green with envy…I would love to be tickled to be where I am right now!
    I have to agree with the Sun Chips bag evaluation…I told my husband I could no longer buy them because I couldn’t tolerate the noise of those bags!!!

  18. Listen, I’m probably the most GO GREEN reader you have and while I am thrilled that a snack food company has come out with a compostable bag, I am HORRIFIED by the sound. Have you ever opened one of those in the car? Ear bleeds all around.

    And also – WHALES! YES! So much better than Goldfish. For real, yo.

  19. Hey Hey Hey…sounds like day 1 is a good one and I LOVE that y’all stayed at the pool til 10:45…Lord, Have mercy!!!

    What night shall I do dinner?? Ohhh, I can’t wait!!!