The Texting Made The Not Winning Easier

I was by myself for part of this past weekend because D and Alex went on a little father/son camping trip. I could pretend to be sad that I didn’t get to camp, too, but I think we all know that that would be a lie. I prefer to sleep indoors, thankyouverymuch, but I was just as tickled as I could be to see my fellas load all their gear into D’s truck and head off for an adventure in All The Nature. Personally I most enjoy the nature when there is some sort of glass partition separating me from the bugs and also the heat, but I knew Alex would have a blast. And he did. TOTAL FAN of the camping, he is.

Sister and I had talked about driving over to Starkville for the game against Arkansas since I was going to be footloose and fancy-free, but Friday morning I knew as soon as I got out of bed that I was way too tired for a road trip. It was a crazy, busy, sleep-deficient week, and a Saturday with nowhere to go sounded like heaven on earth to me. Turned out that Sister was feeling the same way. So she stayed in Nashville, I stayed in Birmingham, and I made sure my phone was fully charged so that we could text away during the game.

The game started with State jumping out to a 7-0 lead, and since I was all alone, I felt free to HOLLER LIKE A MADWOMAN. I was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, so about mid-way through the first quarter I started cleaning our den. There was a point in the second quarter where we hit a little lull and Arkansas was winning 14-7, so I sent Sister a text that said, “Can we fake a punt or something?”


It was like I called it into being.


After that I was ON FI-IRE with the cleaning. Pulled out the vacuum, dusted the furniture, Windexed the glass tabletops, used the Swiffer Wet stuff on the floors. OUT OF CONTROL. By the half the ‘Dogs were up 21-17, and I moved to the kitchen in search of new surfaces to scour.


The Razorbacks went up 31-21 in the second half, but we scored with about four minutes left in the game to cut their lead to three. We kicked off to them, and I sent Sister a VERY DRAMATIC text: “WE NEED A FUMBLE.”

Two plays later Arkansas fumbled and we recovered.

I can’t explain it. It’s a gift, much like being able to recognize the subtle differences in Popeye’s and Bojangle’s fried chicken. And for the record, I have never in my life screamed like I did when we recovered that football. I kept alternating between wishing my people were home so that we could celebrate together and being so, so grateful that they were camping and therefore spared the spectacle of my crazy.

The next minute and a half was insane. State had no time-outs left, but we kept moving down the field. Finally, with 14 seconds on the clock, our field goal kicker nailed a 25-yarder that sent the game into overtime. And my phone went cuckoo in the best possible way.

The recurring theme in all of these texts, of course (besides the fact that my friends are awesome), is my certainty of imminent death. I really wondered if my heart could take it. I thought about turning off the TV, waiting 30 or so minutes and then checking the internet for the final score. It was too much. It was all too much.

In the end I decided that not even the threat of some sort of cardiac malfunction could keep me away from the television. In the first overtime we fumbled and Arkansas missed a field goal. Which led to a second overtime. And in the end, Arkansas prevailed and won 38-31. If I hadn’t been such a wreck during our last possession, I would have sent Sister a text that said, “WE’RE GOING TO SCORE A TOUCHDOWN AND MAKE THE TWO-POINT CONVERSION.”

Clearly that would have solved everything.

But the ending being what it was, Sister and I wrapped up our texting for the night.

A few minutes later, I heard my phone beep or ding or chime or whatever it does when I have a new message. Here’s what was waiting on me from our friend Dave:

It summed up my feelings PERFECTLY. And it made me laugh a whole bunch, too.

Even though I would’ve loved to have seen our boys get the win, I couldn’t feel too disappointed. They played their hearts out, and it really was a whale of a game.

But I learned some valuable lessons, oh yes I did. In fact, I just sent Sister a text about this week’s Egg Bowl, when the Bulldogs will head to The School Up North and take on the Rebel Black Bears.

Oh, I know it won’t make a lick of difference in the outcome.

But I figure it can’t hurt to go ahead and put it out there. Worked for the fake punt and the fumble, after all.


Go ‘Dogs.

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  1. I was such a wreck the whole time! We had to watch on TV because the husband had a TERRIBLE cold and we didn’t want to give 55,000 of our closest friends his illness. I think being a Bulldog is taking years off of my life.

    You are now required to send situation appropriate text messages during every bulldog sporting event to ensure success. I’m just sayin’.

  2. OMG, I am laughing so hard!!!! Clearly everyone near to you KNOWs that you could collapse at these games!!! I LOVE the pic that Dave sent—OH.My.WOrD….perfect description of BOTH games!!
    NOW>>missy prissy….you MUST take back that state beats OM by 20???? Come on….ease up!!!! ;-)


  3. I am a diehard USC Gamecocks fan and I do the EXACT same thing while watching…clean, paint, anything to keep me busy. So if it makes you feel better, we’re both NOT normal! ;) The SEC rocks, doesn’t it. We put almost seventy points on the board yesterday against Troy and we DROPPED in the poll today. BCS, what?!?!

  4. You crack me up! I loved reading the texts. Reminds me of me & my friends.

  5. I have been waiting for this post since the second overtime last night, and you didn’t disappoint! I will crack up when we beat “them” by 20.

    And I am SOOOO with you on the whole camping thing.

  6. my husband was a nervous wreck too (hog fans here), but it was his birthday so i was really hoping for a win to top off a really good day.

    i sure wish he cleaned during games.

    at one point my husband came in and said he needed to repent because he felt like he was praying harder for a game win than he had prayed for the lost.

  7. Girl. I was screaming so loud that surely they could hear me. And you even left out the awesome tributes to Nick Bell.And his sweet mama ringing the stew out of her cowbell. Oh mercy. It was an emotional rollercoaster, I tell you. I wish I did the cleaning bit. Instead I do the eating bit. I will be laying in the supplies for the Egg Bowl!

  8. This is why I LOVE college football; fans who are DEvoted to their boys! It really was a great game; I hadn’t watched one of your games in a while. I’d forgotten about the cowbells! Beat “the school up north”!

  9. This is hilarious!! And Dan Mullen referring to Ole Miss as “The School Up North” somehow reminds me of the superstition that leads theatre people to refer to Macbeth as “The Scottish Play”…

  10. I love it! I’m still waiting to hear from State about whether or not they are going to hire me. If you could send a prayer request/text message I’m sure it would help! =)

  11. My sister (State alum) and I (Bama alum) were texting much near the end of the game – especially final drive to FG and then overtime. My final text of the night…”Boomama’s house is well vacuumed :)” You do not disappoint!

  12. I am new to your blog. I LOVE your description of MS State. I am a huge FAN! Bigger fan than my husband as well (both state grads)…and I enjoy your blog so much! GO DAWGS!

  13. Mary Kat's Mom says:

    Can I just say that I was calling for the field goal from the Hogs kicker to go to the left and it happened! ! Ask Mary Kat! ! And SHE WHO DOTH NOT LIKE FOOTBALL said that she really enjoyed watching that game except for the MSU loss! I was speechless and thanked the Lord that was was some hope for my child! If she ends up going there Alex may have to be my cowbell police because I could hardly contain myself in my living room!

  14. ” I died and came back to life.” I was not prepared for that… and laughed out loud and caused people to stare… and then to try to explain..

  15. AMEN! I like your predictions. Next time, predict that we SCORE and not just kick a field goal. We should have gone for the WIN! Oh well. A great heartbreaking game all the same. Now onto beating TSUN!

  16. oh boo mama that song I sent you should have been Razorbacks Can “barely” survive! I thought I had surely jinxed my hogs went I sent that song….yes, it was all on me. That was an awesome football game and I would have said that even if your dogs have won. Oh yes, I will be pulling for MS to beat Ole Miss for sure!

  17. Well, my feelings were correct. I was thinking about you jumping around like a maniac during that fourth quarter…even told Jim, no lie, “I bet Ouida’s Sophie is dying right now!” But I’m so glad to read your post and learn that you, in fact, did not die. :)

  18. I thought about you while watching this game and was cheering for State on your behalf. It was a great game!

  19. You got me excited just reading this post….
    we are on opposite sides (go hogs) but you are right…they played their hearts out and I feared the outcome.

    I’m totally with you for beating the school up north……Go Dogs….

  20. I need to ask if you could have died or was it that you could have lit-u-ra-lly died a la Rachel Zoe?

  21. OMG, Boomama!!! I just about laughed myself silly reading this!!!!!!! Your texts are HILARIOUS!!!! HILARIOUS!!!! Just so you know, my hubby happened to be flicking channels (he does this ALL OF THE TIME!!!) and came across your game. I said “WAIT! WAIT! That’s Boomama’s team!” So, we watched the last few minutes of the game as it went into overtime. Oh, heart be still! What a game! I felt your loss….believe me, I did. I’m sorry for your loss. I was so sure that you were at the game that I kept watching to see if they had to take anyone out on a stretcher………I’m teasing. If you can make a loss that funny, just imagine when they win! I can’t wait! Love you, Boomama!

  22. Shan Hope says:

    Ok. so my husband and I are diehard bama fans. We grew up in Alabama (Gods Country)but we have lived in Mississippi for 18 years. Our oldest daughter is at your beloved MSU and loves those dawgs! i must admit I have come to love them also.. My heart was on the floor during that game. She came home to watch with us since her BF had a sideline pass and after all he is the one who covers her head with his jacket to protect her from all the spillage when State does well!! All this to say I think we must be related, me, you and my daughter because we were calling plays and screaming left and right!! I can hardly wait for the egg bowl.. Those dawgs are gonna whoop up on those rebel black bears!!! of course my heart will already be on the floor from the Iron bowl the previous day! Roll Tide and Go Dawgs

  23. “I died earlier and came back to life!”.

    That is hilarious!!

    It was an INCREDIBLE game!

  24. Haha!! I am seriously giggling over here, girl. I was wondering about you during that INTENSE game, and I was so sad when they lost even though they played hard.
    Andrew saw a ceramic bulldog at Little Acres yesterday and begged me to get it. Mississippi may just get a Bulldog outta one of the Westovers yet…

  25. So YOU’RE the one who caused that flippin’ fumble!! Girl, you’re not the only one who died and came back to life. When Hocker missed that field goal in OT, I thought I was about to start flopping on the floor. I’m so happy you didn’t post about that last touchdown and two point conversion in overtime because WOO PIG SOOIE!!!!!!!!!! Go Hogs!

  26. Boo, me and man-child had a tour of the SEC this summer. And I must say, he was taken with two schools out East. Bama (gorgeous campus, great stadiums) and MS State.

    He loved the school and stadiums. I can just bet that football stadium is THE place to be on gameday. The town, the restaurants, and of course the cute State girls. We even saw one wearing, wait for it, a bumpit. Lord knows how obsessed with the bumpit I am. She was totally cute, sweet blond hair. And. A. bumpit.

    I totally see why you love that place. I need to make me a Starkville trip on gameday, but its a bit of a drive from Dallas…

  27. I just want to say that I am a firm believer in the power of the written word. Or getting your vacuum out. It helped my Sooners beat those Cornhuskers. I cleaned the entire 2nd half of the game. :)