Archives for October 2011

The Joys Of A New TV Adventure

This past Friday I was supposed to have my wisdom tooth removed, but since I didn’t realize that the person driving me home (which was, you know, my husband) had to be there for the whole procedure (what with the sedation and all), we had a little scheduling mix-up and had to bump my appointment to Monday. Since I’d sort of planned the weekend around a rigorous regimen of painkillers and sleeping, the whole re-scheduling thing meant that I suddenly found myself with a wide-open stretch-o-weekend and a horribly neglected DVR.

I haven’t intentionally neglected the DVR, mind you. I’ve wanted to have some quality DVR time, in fact. But I’ve been working on a little sideline project at night that has basically triggered my obsessive gene to SOARING NEW HEIGHTS OF OBSESSIVENESS, and as a result I’ve gotten way behind on all my normal shows.

(Except for Project Runway and Survivor. I always seem to make time for those. Along with Food Network and Bravo as the occasional background noise.)

Anyway, after I read your comments in the last post, I’ll have you know that I accomplished three significant TV-related achievements over the weekend: 1) I caught up on The Office (I am loving Andy as the boss and wanted to hug him after that garden party with his parents) 2) I caught up on Modern Family and 3) based on your recommendations, I totally caved and watched Revenge.

Listen. I have some thoughts about that third thing. So many, many thoughts about that third thing.

I had no idea what the show was about, so I was surprised to see a cross between Dallas (did anyone else think Southfork Inn was a wink at the Ewings? am I overthinking it?) and Dynasty combined with a hefty dose of Veronica Mars. I was also surprised to see that Revenge marks a television series return to the land of people who store their alcohol in crystal decanters (oh, Sue Ellen Ewing – you have been missed). Sweet mercy. I DO NOT MIND IT.

And Madeline Stowe as Victoria Grayson? SOLID GOLD. Plus, Victoria’s collection of stylish dresses would make Krystle Carrington and Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan so proud. Though Krystle would probably be puzzled by the fact that Victoria isn’t wearing more shoulder pads. Krystle is still trapped in the 80s, bless her heart.

My favorite part so far was in the last episode, when Conrad and Lydia were arguing at her sassy loft / penthouse / big city apartment. After he tossed the picture frame, she picked it up – then grabbed a magnifying glass off the desk so that she could examine the photo more closely. A MAGNIFYING GLASS. Because, you know, she just happened to have a magnifying glass sitting around. AS WE ALL DO.

What up, Mrs. Columbo?

All that to say: I think I’m hooked. I don’t want to be hooked, but I’m pretty sure I’m hooked. And I also think that maybe Emily and Nolan are brother and sister but don’t know it yet. Their hair is the same color and their clothes always (sort of) match – almost like we’re supposed to associate them with one another.

Clearly I need to take a step back from this situation and maybe REACQUAINT MYSELF WITH REALITY.

Odds are that the whole wisdom tooth removal will probably be the perfect antidote to the Graysons and Emily and the fact that David Clarke was framed. HE WAS FRAMED.

So see? It all works out.

Have a great Monday, everybody!

An Assortment Of Thoughts About An Assortment Of Things

1. I’m surprised by how much I’m enjoying this season of Survivor. I wasn’t planning to like it because, well, Phillip Sheppard is no longer a contestant. I miss Phillip. I miss how he wanted to play a game and make some bold moves.

2. There is not a single new show on the fall TV schedule that has managed to hold my attention for more than one episode.

3. Needless to say, I am concerned about the state of my television goals.

4. Yesterday I worked the Hoop It Up booth at the fall festival. For the record, I do not feel that the Lord has gifted me in the area of working the Hoop It Up booth.

5. I’ll take Hoop It Up over the face painting booth, though. I worked the face painting booth two years ago, and it took me approximately seven and a half months to recover from the stress of it all.

6. I still occasionally experience face painting flashbacks.

7. Does anybody still get together with friends and play cards? We used to play cards with friends all the time, and I miss it.

8. I’m the most passive-aggressive spades player you’ve ever seen, by the way.

9. Seriously. I’ll grin and make lighthearted conversation, and I’ll be plotting how to TAKE YOU DOWN the entire time.

10. I also enjoy canasta.

11. I think it would be nice to see a resurgence of card-playing in the 21st century family. Let’s get on that, people.

12. I would appreciate your insight and commentary on these matters.

13. I like what you’re doing with your hair. It looks really good.


On the off chance that you’re keeping score at home, you may have noticed that I’ve been dealing with a higher than average number of mild health-related annoyances. Nothing serious, mind you – just, well, aggravating. And a wee bit funny. So, just for kicks and giggles, I thought we’d run through a list of the odd maladies with which I have been afflicted in the last three weeks. This is going to be some RIVETING CONTENT, my friends, so pull up a chair and sit a spell. It’s time to TALK ABOUT SOME AILMENTS.

Here’s my list. Giddy up.

1. A skin condition flare-up. My husband assures me that I don’t need to go into details with this one, and that’s precisely why I’m leaving out the specifics. But it happened the week of .MOM. At the time I told Melanie that while I had known to expect a little opposition from the enemy since I was stepping way outside my comfort zone, I certainly wasn’t expecting anything with such a Job-like flair. But yes. Icky skin stuff. NOW THE INTERNET KNOWS.

(It’s much better now, in case you’re wondering. And even though I’ve overshared, I do hope that you’ll still be able to look me in the eye should we ever meet in person.)

2. A sciatic nerve issue. Honestly, I don’t know whether the skin troubles or the sciatic nerve troubles would win in some sort of Mamaw Medical Olympics, but I’m thinking that the sciatic nerve stuff gets a slight edge because it results in some hobbling and possibly even the use of a cane.

3. An unfortunate incident with some tricky shoes that resulted in me falling down WHILE SEEMINGLY WALKING NORMALLY and landing on my left knee and then catching myself with my hands and then being helped to my feet by a kind young man who was trying to do the right thing by checking on me but I could tell that he wanted to laugh because, hello, I FELL RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. Said incident was remedied by retiring to the nearest restroom so that I could cry in private and then pretend like I was totally fine even though my knee looked like I was a four year-old who took a really nasty turn on her Big Wheel.

4. A crazy bout of jaw and facial pain. Like can’t-possibly-take-enough-Excedrin-Migraine jaw and facial pain. That’s actually why I went to the doctor last week. But as it turned out, the doctor said my trouble was what I initially suspected…

5. A sinus infection. Really, a sinus infection seems so bland and run-of-the-mill in the midst of all the falling and sciatic-ing and whathaveyou. But it’s been an easy fix. And for that I am grateful.

6. An unhappy wisdom tooth. Please see #4. Because when the crazy jaw and facial pain didn’t disappear after I started the antibiotic, I consulted my dentist. And the dentist said, “WHOA, NELLIE, THAT WISDOM TOOTH HAS TO GO.”

(My dentist didn’t really say, “Whoa, Nellie.”)

(But wouldn’t it have been great if he had?)

Anyway, getting rid of that wisdom tooth is gonna be my big happy fun time next week. I just keep reminding myself that I’d rather get ‘er done now than for that tooth to revolt on me while I’m in Ecuador. I do not want to have to VOY AL MEDICO EN ECUADOR.

And then, Sunday morning, I had the sweet privilege of encountering what I hope will be the final chapter of this illustrious I’ve-gone-all-to-pieces epistle:

7. A stomach virus. Oh, I’m not kidding. I was in church (by myself, no less), all ready to hear sweet Katie Davis share her story, and I started to feel decidedly not at all normal. I squirmed and fidgeted and tried to pretend that I wasn’t increasingly nauseated, but nothing worked. Once the cold sweats started, I decided I’d better make a move, so I quickly got up from my seat, walked out of the sanctuary and was so taken aback by how weak in the knees I was that I darted into the nearest hallway and SPRAWLED OUT ON THE FLOOR OF AN EMPTY SUNDAY SCHOOL ROOM.

Oh, yes ma’am. Just keepin’ it klassy at Brook Hills.

And I’ll tell you what: I was not at all – NOT AT ALL – optimistic about making it out of that Sunday School room without throwing up first. But after about five minutes, I heard a still, small voice say something along the lines of “IT’S NOW OR NEVER, SISTER.” I stood up, walked as quickly as I could to the little man’s Sunday School room, told him we were gonna head home a little early and then skedaddled to our car POSTHASTE.

The good news is that we made it home safely.

The bad news is that it was not my favorite afternoon of all time.

Once the worst was over, though, I slept and slept and slept and slept and slept and slept some more. Today I have continued the sleeping trend. I have also watched about twelve episodes of Say Yes To The Dress, which may well be the most perfect sick day TV show ever. It’s not hard to follow, there are pretty dresses, Randy’s voice is oddly soothing, and if you doze off and miss about 15 minutes, you can pick up right where you left off even if there’s a different bride on the screen.

Anyway, I’m all better now. Rested. Good as new (except for that pesky wisdom tooth). However, I would like to point out the sweet, sweet irony of my list considering that I’ve been trying to exercise pretty regularly on the elliptical motion machine/elliptical/ellip and have gradually cut out all post-lunch caffeine. Which means that I have one cup of coffee and one Diet Coke a day. Which means that I no longer drink Diet Coke all day long. Which means that I HARDLY KNOW MYSELF ANYMORE.

So there you have it. I have now written a whole post about all the many ways I’m falling apart. It’s like the internet is my Mamaw Davis’ kitchen, and I’ve turned into my Aunt Myrt and feel compelled to share Here’s What’s Not Working while I drink my morning coffee.


It’s been a crazy three weeks. Fingers crossed that there’s a little patch of boring on the horizon.

That would be so nice.


News, Notes, Info & Etc.

– I’ve already notified the person who won the Nations Outfitters giveaway, but I thought y’all might like to know, too. The lucky winner is Rhonda (comment #280), and she has claimed her prize.

The folks at Nations also have one more treat for y’all: if you place an order with them between now and October 31st, you can use the promotional code BOO MAMA (two words) for a 10% discount on your entire purchase. Fancy!

– I know that several of y’all follow Katie Davis’ blog (Kisses from Katie) and have supported her ministry, Amazima. Tomorrow Katie will be at The Church of Brook Hills in Birmingham at all three services: 9, 11 and 6.

– This post by Becca, Scars & Stretch Marks, is absolutely beautiful.

– Ann writes with great wisdom and insight about One Thing That Might Help Any Relationship. So good.

– Earlier this week Holly linked to some of the cutest business cards I ever did see. I have no need for business cards, mind you, but if you do? These will delight you.

– Your comments on the post about funny things we’ve all said to kids were HILARIOUS. I think I’ve read all of them twice, and I will continue to go back and read them on days when I need a good laugh. Oh my word they are a treasure. And in the end, it was too hard to pick just one winner, so our illustrious panel of judges has declared a tie between Sarah and Melissa.

Here’s Sarah’s comment:

I’m sure we’re the only ones with this problem. Certainly everyone else’s children have this completely together. But — my kids are a little pokey around bedtime. One day a few months ago, the Husband had HAD IT. So he instructed them in the bedtime routine in a more military fashion. I say that as people who have zero military experience, by the way. In any case, it went like this:

Daddy: You have 30 seconds to get pajamas on. GO! GO! GO!
8 yr old Daughter, sprinting off to her room: What if we don’t make it on time??
8 yr old Daughter, shocked (shocked!): OH MY GOSH!!

We laughed for weeks.

And here’s Melissa’s comment:

The Christmas that my oldest was 2, we set up our Fisher Price Nativity on the bottom shelf of the entertainment center so it would be easily accessible and within his reach. One day, I was on the phone with a friend in the kitchen and looked over to find him teeing up the baby Jesus to hit with his plastic golf club. Apparently, he thought the sweet replica of the King of the Universe would be a nice substitute for a golf ball. I yelled out just as he made contact “no sir-we do not hit baby Jesus with our golf clubs!” My friend who was on the phone with me died laughing and said, “that’s something you won’t ever say again.” She was right-with all the Christmases that have passed, I have never again had the occasion to repeat that sentence-lesson learned.

Sarah and Melissa, you each get a $50 gift card to either Amazon or iTunes. I’ll be emailing you with details. Congratulations!

And thanks to all of you who left comments on that post. You’re hilarious. And your comments are priceless.

Hope y’all have a wonderful weekend!


I have been trying to write this post for, let’s see, ABOUT THREE DAYS. I can’t seem to make it past the first paragraph because for whatever reason, I struggle when there’s actual news to share. But if I’m writing about, oh, CRACKERS, I can hammer out 1,000 words in record time. In medical circles I believe this condition is known as AN ABNORMAL PREOCCUPATION WITH THE CHEEZ-IT.

It’s AAPWTCI for short. We have group meetings and stuff. You’re welcome to join us.

As you can imagine, our snacks are delicious.

So here’s the deal: in about three and a half weeks I’m going to Ecuador with Compassion International. I couldn’t be more excited and terrified and thrilled and anxious. From what I understand there is A LOT of nature in Ecuador, and I also understand that said nature contains a lot of very active animals. So as you can see, Ecuador and I already have a problem.

Oh, I’m kidding. After all, back in 2008 I traveled to Uganda with the inventor of The Original Monkey AlarmTM. I AM SO PREPARED, Y’ALL.

I was thinking yesterday that before the Uganda trip, I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I’d never been face-to-face with third-world poverty before, and I couldn’t fathom how I would react to it. My reaction wasn’t always, you know, composed, but what I realized pretty quickly is that as difficult as it is to see all that hurt and brokenness, the ministry of Compassion shines light into dark places. So in the midst of all that hurt and brokenness, there is hope. There is Hope. That Hope changes everything in the lives of countless children.

And you know what’s even better? That Hope is is there for the long-haul. Because that Hope, by God’s grace, transforms the hearts and minds of those sweet children – and, in many cases, their families – and changes their lives for eternity.

I mean, come on. That’s the greatest good there is. I’m so grateful that Compassion gives all of us the opportunity to partner with them through local churches in third-world countries all over the world.

By the way, when Shaun first started putting this trip together, he sort of off-handedly mentioned that there will be a portion of the trip where we have to travel by canoe. You have never in your life seen two people EMAIL EACH OTHER IMMEDIATELY like Melanie and I did in that moment. And over the last couple of months, THE CANOE has come up in conversation over and over again. How will we get in the canoe? How long will be be in the canoe? Where will we go in the canoe? Will snakes be interested in the canoe? How does one fend off snakes while in a canoe? Can snakes drop out of trees and into a canoe? Should a snake land in a canoe, would it be advisable to then jump out of the canoe and into the Amazon and then be, alas, canoe-less?

Listen. I have full confidence that the canoe is going to be a source of some memories.

So there you have it. Ecuador it is. November 8-12. With Kelly, Ann, Amanda, Melanie, Keely, Patricia and Shaun.

And with every single one of you, too.

One Of The Sweetest Stories Ever

Well, I have a long, rambling tale of my Monday afternoon in the doctor’s office, but I can’t bear to tell it until it has a happy ending. And it won’t have a happy ending until the pharmacy gets my prescription straightened out. Hopefully that’ll happen sometime this morning since Mama here is gonna crash from the temporary boost of a steroid shot around 4:30 pm central time, and IT WOULD BE DELIGHTFUL TO HAVE SOME MEDICATION AT THAT JUNCTURE, OH THANK YOU WALGREENS.

By the way, I’m a little wound up right now. I don’t know if you’ve picked up on that.


Even though the doctor’s office story is on temporary hold, I wanted to make sure to pass along a link to something that I read over the weekend. I ran across it on Facebook, and it’s one of the most heartwarming stories that I’ve read in a long time. I think you’ll like it, too.

Dreams come true despite disability –

There’s still a whole lot of sweetness in this world, you know? A whole lot of sweetness.

Have a great Tuesday, everybody.