Rah Ram Rom

Yesterday D. and I had lunch at Mama and Daddy’s house. Alex had spent a few days with them, and once D. and I were thoroughly exhausted from eating out every single meal and not watching any Playhouse Disney shows at all and listening to the blistering quiet that permeated every single room in our house, we decided that we’d better go pick up the little man because by Sunday morning we missed him so much that we couldn’t wait to wrap our arms around him, even if he responded by sneezing in our mouths or wiping his nose on our sleeves.

He didn’t sneeze in our mouths, by the way, but he did cough in both of our faces, and oh, reunions are a tender time, aren’t they?

Once we were all sufficiently hugged and sugared, we settled in on one of Mama and Daddy’s couches while Alex regaled us with tales of how much he missed us and how he had been to FOUR! DIFFERENT! PLAYGROUNDS! with my daddy. Then he promptly told us that he didn’t want to go back to our house and instead would prefer to stay with his grandparents forever and ever. I can hardly blame him, because if there were a way for me to live somewhere free of charge and enjoy a diet that consists of only donuts, Coke, Pop Tarts, and vanilla wafers, I would pretty much be on board with that for, you know, EVER.

Mama fixed a wonderful lunch for us – turkey divan, butterbeans, creamed corn, bread, apple pie and ice cream – and some our closest family friends came over to eat with us. Robbie and CB have been an extension of our family for our twenty years; so it’s always great to see them and catch up on what’s going on with their family. They actually hosted our wedding reception at their house, and the older I get, the more I’m convinced that OH MY WORD THEY WERE COMPLETELY INSANE TO DO THAT. But it was a lovely affair, and we will forever be grateful.

At some point over lunch the conversation turned to technology, as it always does when my daddy and my husband are breathing. Combine Daddy’s and D.’s affinity for all things tech-related with CB’s very techy line of work, and you essentially have a Festival-O-Gadgetry right there at the dinner table. I can keep up with all the talk of PORTS and HUBS and CABLES to a certain extent, but Mama and Robbie are another story.

I can truly say in all Christian love and kindness that Mama and Robbie are the least tech-savvy people on the face of the planet, but really that’s okay because it’s nearly impossible to stay on the cutting edge of computer news when you’re busy running the Stunt Pillow Palace of America. So about five minutes into the men’s Deep Analysis of the State of Telecommunications in the U.S. and Parts of Western Europe, Mama’s and Robbie’s eyes started to glaze over, and I knew they would find the conversation so much more enjoyable if we could all just talk about fabric instead.

I made a comment about how Robbie must be absolutely riveted by the excitement inherent in a discussion of wireless routers, and she shook her head and started to laugh. CB couldn’t resist, and he chimed in with an anecdote to illustrate Robbie’s stunning computer prowess.

Apparently Robbie called CB one time when he was out of town on business and announced that she was READY TO LEARN ABOUT EMAIL, so he walked her through the steps of opening their email program. He was trying to tell her where to point the mouse, when to click, etc., but she kept saying, “CB! I JUST DON’T SEE ANYTHING!”

“Click where the mouse is pointing, Robbie. Just line up the arrow on the mouse with the program you want to open, and click it.”

“BUT I DON’T SEE ANYTHING!”

CB went on to ask how she couldn’t at least be seeing something, and they ran through various troubleshooting measures to determine the reason why Robbie couldn’t see anything. After mere seconds they determined that the primary problem was that Robbie had never turned on the computer.

So she’s pretty much all about the information age, if you can’t tell.

After lunch was over Mama, Robbie and I went into the den to visit, and we could hear bits and pieces of the men’s conversation filtering in from the dining room. Robbie remarked that CB would sit at the table all day long and talk about computers, and I echoed her sentiment because I know for a fact that D.’s greatest joys in life – aside from his faith and his family, of course – come from Products With Buttons and Cords, and if you don’t believe me then it’s clear you were not with him last Friday night when he was finally able to purchase a Wii after a three-month quest to find a store that actually had them in-stock.

The Wii is “for Alex,” of course.

AHEM.

Anyway, Mama and Robbie continued to talk about how they JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THE COMPUTER, and as Robbie overheard Daddy, CB, and D. talking about CD-ROMs, ISPs, IP addresses, JPEGs and USBs, she shrugged her shoulders, looked at me and said, “Hmph. Sounds like a bunch of letters to me.”

She had barely finished her sentence when Mama said, “Oh, TO ME, TOO, Robbie. That is the TRUTH. Just a bunch of letters!”

So I hate to break it to y’all, but I don’t think Robbie and Mama are going to be starting blogs anytime soon.

However, with any luck at all, I’ll be able to teach them how to turn on the computer and CHECK THE EMAIL by summertime.

I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.