When D. and I married and set up house for the first time, we each brought different items to the proverbial decorative table.
For example, I brought a couch, a wingback chair, a baker’s rack, a queen-sized bed, and some cheap, shiny Queen Anne-style sidetables.
D. brought a double bed, a dresser, a kitchen table, and more electronic equipment than any man had a right to own – conveniently encased in a lovely black entertainment center with smoky glass doors.
By the way, I still contend that if I had never entered the picture, everything in D.’s house would a) be made of black laminate and b) have the ability to recline.
And he would love the fire out of every single bit of it.
So after we were married, I quickly learned that, for D., the primary decorating question is Where Will We Put The TV? – followed closely by Once We Place The TV, May I Please Put My Chair Directly In Front Of It? I of course wanted everything to be pretty, and having a black laminate entertainment center with smoky doors as the focal point of my living room was not exactly a dream come true for me.
Eventually, though, we worked out a compromise. Black Laminate Smoky Doors stayed – albeit in a remote corner of the room. D.’s chair was too far away from the television for his taste, but I assured him that it couldn’t be good for his eyes to sit two feet away from a 32 inch screen.
In our next house, D. took over a spare bedroom and set up every single bit of his audio / video extravagana. There were components and cables and gaming systems and speakers (OH MY!); the only drawback was that he had to put it all on the aformentioned (girly, sage green) baker’s rack – because by that point I had quite literally kicked Black Laminate Smoky Doors to the curb. The bottom door kept falling off, and when we moved from our first house I took the opportunity to leave it next to the driveway.
Really, it was nothing but an act of completely selfless charity on my part.
Really.
Eventually, we finished out an office for D. in our basement. He was able to put speakers IN THE WALLS and place his recliner (or, as I like to call it: The Cap’n’s Chair) approximately eighteen inches from the TV screen. It seemed, at long last, that his eight year home theatre quest was complete.
But then, of course, we moved.
I’ll spare y’all the audiovisual saga we’ve been through since we moved into this house last December, but it’s been unsettling for D., to say the very least. He had high hopes of setting up a movie / game room in his office here – only to realize that, with Alex’s bedroom across the hall, he wasn’t going to be able to crank ‘er up sound-wise like he could in his basement room.
He talked about moving his TV (it has a flat screen; apparently that is very important to gadget-minded men) in the living room to replace the older model that had taken up residence there, but he gave up on that idea when I asked one too many questions about the size and placement of the speakers.
Keep in mind that, when we married in the late 90’s, I still had a console TV with a channel dial and no remote control BECAUSE I AM JUST THAT TECHNOLOGICALLY SAVVY, so it’s hard for me to understand how important things like speakers are to him.
I mean, if not for D., I’d still be carrying around a bag phone.
Anyway, for the last six months, my husband has been wandering through an audiovisual desert, wondering when or if he would be delivered into a high definition, all-digital promised land with premium, high-quality sound.
Last night, I’m proud to say, he arrived.
We may have to set up a memorial stone, y’all.
And I will have it carved in the shape of a big ole flat-screen television.
Because here’s what happened.
He moved the flat-screen into the living room, along with all necessary components and speakers. We have a pretty big built-in space for that kind of stuff, so it actually isn’t the least bit unsightly for the one of us who likes for things to look pretty (that would be me).
And then – AND THEN – he called our cable company and asked to upgrade to their high definition package. Since we already have an HD DVR (they gave it to us several months ago after we had worn them down with our 521 service calls), the upgrade took about three minutes. And only costs about $4 a month.
And when my husband saw the high-definition picture for the first time, I’m pretty sure that he wept. Quietly, of course. Discreetly. In the most manly of ways.
For a full thirty minutes after HDTV became a part of our lives, I listened to D. talk about HDMI cables and 780p and 1020i and HD channels and the amount of memory it takes to record HD shows on our DVR. It was a veritable verbal buffet of acronyms and abbreviations, and I had no idea what most of it meant. But I smiled and I nodded – because I love him.
After all, when he’s happy, I’m happy.
And as long as Black Laminate Smoky Doors never enter our audiovisual set-up again, I think we’ll be just fine.
“We may have to set up a memorial stone, y’all.”
You are too funny! And such a great wife!
What IS it with men and their obsession with noisy things with wires? My husband had the most awful giant speakers when we married. The only way I could convince him to depart with them was to get an expensive Bose thing with tiny speakers.
Thank goodness for those wireless headphone things he has. Greatest invention ever!
I never in a million years would have believed I would have a flat screen tv on my fireplace MANTLE. (My grandmother is rolling over in her grave right now.) OR be saddle with a cable bill that is about ten times what I think television should cost. (We, too, have DVR/HD.) OR would have an atrocious reclining beast of a chair next to my lovely Charles of London sofa.
If my husband wasn’t such a peach I’d never stand for it. But he puts up with ME and and for that? He deserves every electronic gadget known to man AND his own personal screening room.
My inlaws just bought a 63 in. Plasma and had it installed. OMGoodness! The picture in HD is SO MUCH BETTER!
Glad D is finally happy!
We have no television. Or cell phone. Or microwave. I suppose, if we had the money, my husband would be tempted by computer gadgets, but mostly he prefers growing things and fire. It keeps my life simple. Here, honey, play with some matches in the yard.
My husband is equally obsessed with technology, and picture and sound quality. He’s an engineer, though, so I get every…last…detail. I don’t understand a quarter of it, but that doesn’t stop the poor man from trying. I tell him, “Look, our old TV works fine. The picture’s great. Why do we need a new one?” He just gives me that “you poor woman” look and shakes his head.
“audiovisual desert”…*snort*
I married one of “those types” as well. We actually have a 52-inch plasma dominating one wall of our living room, with surround sound speakers built in, and the whole HDTV package. The problem for simple ol’ me is that when we watch the TV with the surround sound, I’m constantly yelling at the kids, “Boys! I told you guys to go straight to bed! No playing!” Only to be corrected by my husband that those were jungle noises I was hearing behind my head, not the children (watching “Lost”). I can’t get used to it. Even our minivan has surround sound. The rule is the kids HAVE to use the headphones because I spent the first 2 months we had the minivan dodging incoming fire from the Death Star.
Will there be surround sound in Heaven?
I’ve told Don before, if he leaves for heavenly realms, I’ll give the whole shebang away. I have to get out the instructions to even play a DVD. Sometimes our family room walls shake with the volume and surround sound. We’re not to HDTV yet, but soon as this set dies, I know it’s next. Sitting right across from the leather recliner he could not live without. Glad to know it’s the whole male species, not just my husband.
Sounds like my hubby. He’s into all that surround sound, flat screen, etc. too!
I LAUGHED OUT LOUD when you said “bag phone”…I remember those all too well! It looked sorta military-ish, didn’t it?! We could have called in more troops at any given moment!
Men love their electronics like women love shoes and good body lotion. You must post pictures of the new electronic shrine.
Now BooMama, I must correct you. It is 1080p that you’re discussing.
How do I know this? I am married to a techno geek as you just described and I have heard enough of the terminology to actually talk about it with some sense of certainty.
If we were closer, I’d just send my hubby over to help with the installs and all that stuff. It is a side job for him.
So yes m’am…I can relate and SYMPATHIZE with you! :)
Hey I think you’re telling our story. They even share the same name. I fought it tooth and nail. He even got the Blu Ray disc player. But now that we’ve got it all, watching movies is so nice and I don’t think I could go back.
AHHH – HDTV – We have regressed with our little move overseas. But have to admit – our HD was set up in the States while hubby was out of town and when he called home that night to ask how it was, I had this to relay: “Well, Hon, your dad and I stared at HD Discovery for 10 minutes and thought we could put our hands in the ocean and then we switched to HD ESPN and I could watch the sweat fly off the NBA players foreheads.”
I am a simple girl but must admit – miss the HDTV.
You actually had me feeling sorry for him and that’s odd because truly this is the one thing about ALL MEN that just drives me nuts.
It’s the cords. Even though he’s managed to “hide” them all behind the entertainment center and I can’t actually see them unless I deliberately look back there, which of course I’d never do, I still know what a rat’s nest it is. I tell you, there I times I lose sleep over it.
I could be mistaken, but I am pretty sure that if your husband and my husband were not, you know, separated at birth, they must be best friends and we just don’t know it!
We are moving this week, and after settling who gets what bedroom, his next big concern was TV placement (LCD projection, 4o inches).
Sigh. But it makes him SO happy.
I wish I could move and leave certain things by the driveway! You lucky girl!
ummmmm, Smoky Glass Stereo Cabinet Doors….regular chick magnets, those :)
sigh…I bet the moment you decided to marry your hubby is when you first laid eyes on those glass doors :)
Welcome to my (HD) world. :)
too funny! so glad he is happy! :)
I have no idea what all that alpha-numeric mumble jumble was in this blog. Maybe if I got a husband, I too would be able to join in on this conversation. Whats wrong with having a 13 inch color TV within arms reach of the bed. How else am I to turn it to the other ten channels? It’s not like I am going to get out of bed and stomp over to the TV every half hour or so. And I just love the TWO channel dials on the front of the TV.
“Anyway, for the last six months, my husband has been wandering through an audiovisual desert, wondering when or if he would be delivered into a high definition, all-digital promised land with premium, high-quality sound.”
I love that paragraph. =) My hubby’s thing is high-speed internet. I’m pretty sure if we had anything less than DSL the same paragraph would apply to him. =)
I bet his little chin was just a-quiver.
I’m so glad the BooMama household can be a peaceful one at last. :)
One of the biggest fights Jon and I ever had was when we moved our stuff in together. Someone needs to warn newlyweds about this stuff! Glad you moved old smokey doors out. And congrats to D too!
LOL, what else can you say??
My dh would be so jeaous!
He also wanted black laquer everything! We did not buy a dining room table until we had been married for 16 years because we couldn’t agree on one, I refused to get a black laquer one and he refused everything else, unless it could be used in a Renassaince Fair. He finally realized that since he hasn’t CLEANED the house in 16 years, he shouldn’t get a say in decorating it. (actually he didn’t realize it, I beat it over his head)
Your post title made me laugh out loud-my husband and D would be great friends. We purchased a 50 inch plasma TV this year, and it has brought him great joy. I have to admit, I am hooked on the HD channels-I did not realize there would be such a difference in picture quality.
BTW-long time reader, first time poster. You make my day on a regular basis…not just with your sense of humor, but with the genuine love you have for your family and your Lord. Keep up the good work!
OH.MY.WORD!! I just kicked our “lovely black entertainment center with smoky glass doors” to the curb last week! Praise the Lord!! Now I have my pretty entertainment center w/ all the toys so easily hidden :)
We don’t do tv, but we do do speakers and they are – you guessed it -black laminate. Mm insists that black is great because it “goes with everything”.
He doesn’t have to dust it!
Oh my! Has your husband got a twin brother who lives in Wales and happens to be my husband? They are identical! I just happen to be the best wife in the world because I suprised him with his HD tele for christmas with the digital HD upgrade… I earned a WHOLE lot of brownie points for that!
See ya!
My hubby had a hideous orange courdoroy-type material sofa when we married. I think we gave it to his Dad. I try to turn my head away when walking by an HD t.v. at a store (it’s best just not to know what you’re missing). When we moved to our current house my husband got the bonus room and it is where all his “stuff” can be located. (That is the stuff that is not in his garage.)
Praise God!! Neither one of us is ever so technical as your D is. But, my husband certainly would like to use our HighDef to its fullest capability. But that would require buying those cable thingies … and getting a new cable box.
By the time all that happens, there just may be a whole new kind of technology for us to tap into, and highdef will be long gone.
We’re pitiful. But … ever so happy. In a non-HighDef kinda way. Sorta.