I am sitting in my parents’ living room watching a movie on AMC and checking email. I have no idea what the movie is called, but it has something to do with Natasha Henstridge running from scientists, Marg Helgenberger sporting a mullet and Ben Kingsley attempting to speak with a Brooklyn accent.
Also, Natasha Henstridge seems to have some sort of alien creature growing in her shoulder.
That must be terribly annoying.
Anyway, everyone here has gone to sleep except for me, and I’m in the midst of some fierce spiritual warfare because there’s a strawberry cake in my mama’s refrigerator.
And normally I would just eat the cake and be done with it, but we made a trip to the fish camp tonight, so I’ve already had fried fish and hush puppies and then several more hush puppies (are hush puppies a Southern thing? or are they everywhere? should I conduct a survey?), and I don’t really need to add strawberry cake to the caloric mix.
Of course, I probably didn’t need to add my third, fourth and fifth hush puppies to the mix, either.
However, in my defense, I drank unsweetened tea tonight, so HELLO, CLEARLY I AM VERY SERIOUS ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS.
So Martha went with us to the fish camp and she had on a darling jacket from Steinmart(s), just DARLING, and she could not wait to tell me about her trip to the new Olive Garden(s) in Hattiesburg where she got this chicken, this chicken with the most wonderful citrus sauce and you know their bread is so good! just so good! not to mention the salad which is just really, really tasty, even though she doesn’t really eat a lot of salad, she’s just not a huge fan of salad, but still, it was delicious! and the service! they had the best service! the most wonderful service!
Wonderful!
On the way home from the fish camp Martha told Mama and me all about the most stunning verbena plant she found at Walmart(s) a few days ago, and she said there were blooms everywhere! just everywhere! so many blooms that they took up the whole backseat once Martha and her friends finally wrangled the plant into the car, and Martha was so excited, I mean you can only imagine how excited she was to have found that verbena with all of those deep purple blooms, and she could not WAIT to put it on her patio, she couldn’t wait!
And then she put it on her patio and it was almost completely dead within two days.
And Martha doesn’t think that even she could kill a plant in two days, I mean it was PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL there at the Walmart(s), but she doesn’t have her ticket anymore and she can’t take it back and she doesn’t know what in the world to do but she’s sick! just sick! because it was PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL!
So by the time Martha finished her Tale of Verbena Woe (not to be confused with Martha’s friend Rubena, who is also PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL but as far as I know cannot be purchased in the garden center of any local Walmart(s), nor does she, you know, BLOOM), we were back at Martha’s house, and I had no sooner started to put the car in park than my mama was unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the passenger door.
I asked Mama if she was planning to go inside, and she said, “OH NO, I wouldn’t do that – it’s late! But I just want to check on that verbena.” And before I could point out that it was PITCH BLACK DARK, Mama was walking with purpose to the patio.
Which was perfect because then Martha and I had even more time to talk about the fact that THE VERBENA, IT DIED.
Within about two minutes Mama was making her way back to the car and telling Martha to get that plant in a shallow dish of water and out of the direct sun. Because somehow, even in the COMPLETE ABSENCE OF LIGHT, Mama was able to determine that the root system was healthy but the leaves were scorched, and I did not question her diagnosis for even half a second because she has been nursing all manner of plants to freakishly healthy levels since the Eisenhower administration inhabited the White House.
She has a gift, people.
Martha was understandably thrilled by Mama’s specific instructions, and she had an extra spring in her step when she walked in her house. I think she was downright giddy at the prospect of being able to rescue her verbena.
Plus, you know, her jacket looked totally cute with her medallion necklace and monogrammed purse. And that always makes a girl feel sassy.
(Sassy!)
(Just so sassy!)
(Sassy verbena sassy!)
Have a great weekend, y’all.
I’m from Southern Illinois, and hushpuppies are eaten far and wide there. We are not Southern there, we are Midwestern.
But Southern Illinois is awfully close to Kentucky.
Sorry, no hush puppies out here in the Northwest… I think we’re a bit too far away from all that friedness… unless you count the festival food fair we went to last night. Then there was friedness to be had by the gallon!
Although I do hope someday I will have the pleasure of trying one of these mystical hush puppies!
(clicking heels) “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.” (clicking heels)
You are just a HOOT!! I stop by here when my spirits need a lift, and I’m never disappointed :)
Oh goodness, you have no idea how much I needed a good Mama and Martha story tonight. Thanks for obliging. I feel better now.
My 4 yr old niece, Zahra, was asking her mom (my sister) about the healthy food that she eats. She listed fruits, vegetables, and birds(chicken and turkey) she then asked what about dogs
Z: are dogs healthy food?
My sister: well – we don’t eat dogs.
Z:Yes, we do, Mama!
Sis: No, honey, we don’t.
Z: Well, what about hush puppies – we just had them remember?
kids are too funny!
Yay! I’ve missed hearing about Martha! Glad to hear she’s still so fun and sassy!
Oh my word that story gave me the giggles! What a way to wake up in the morning. As for the hush puppies, I’m in extreme southern Indiana and we have them here. I also get to have wonderful homemade ones every year at the big family fish fry but Dad’s family is all originally from Arkansas so that may not count.
This post makes me so, soooooo proud to be a Southerner.
Nuthin’ like a steel magnolia to make you happy. (Well, that…and hush puppies.)
p.s.- it’s been my experience that the term “fish camp” can even throw some people off. IMAGINE!
Hushpuppies are totally a Southern food, and lawsie I miss them terribly! We have them here at the local LJS, but that’s as close as you get to them in MD. I’ve always wanted to go to that catfish place near Hattiesburg on 49. It looked so inviting everytime we passed.
I’m lucky in that I’m getting some Cafe du Monde beignet mix brought up at the end of the month. Yum! It’s not the real thing, but as close as I’ve gotten in years. :)
Oh, it has been way too long since you’ve had a Martha story! It made me want to head to Walmart(s) to look at the lovely verbena.
We can’t help but love hushpuppies in these parts(south KY). I mean I do live in the unofficial ‘Catfish Capital’ of the world! We even have a summer festival in honor of the catfish.
I just Googled ‘catfish capitol’,out of total curiosity,and found that we have some stiff competition with Humphreys County, Mississippi as the true ‘capitol'(haha)
Anyway, my 4 year old little boy can eat his weight in hushpuppies. We all love ’em here, so I can’t blame you for eating a couple or twenty.
Thanks for the laugh BooMama!
Oh, BTW….for some reason when I picture your stories about your mama and her friends, I picture it being a scene from ya-ya sisterhood!
my favorite part of your story is the monogrammed purse. i love monograms–i’m guessing it’s left over from the chi o days (i am pretty sure i owned *nothing* that didn’t sport some type of greek lettering). my husbands jokes that i would monogram the kids foreheads if i could get away with it.
I was born and (mostly) raised in Minnesota, and I have lived in Wisconsin, South Dakota, Arizona, Nevada, Missouri, Michigan, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Life’s bit hectic when you’re running from the law, you know! :) Hush puppies are definitely only a Southern thing…but our local Long John Silvers serves them. I’m sure they don’t taste anything like “the genuine article”. What’s a fish camp? Love your blog…stories like this last one wear me out!
Classic BooMama right there.
Was the jacket a size zero? Because I know Martha is just SO TINY! She’s just SO TINY! And it’s hard for her to find things that fit right.
oh Boo Mama, I am sitting here snorting…SNORTING. Thank You
I really needed this. Just got some sad news about a friend, and you made me laugh. And snort.
We have hushpuppies here in Tx and I can eat my weight in them, oh yes I can. But you have to go to East Texas to find a fish camp. We frequented them when we lived in Spartanburg, SC and loved them too much. Martha is a hoot, I had to go back and read the story of her…cinch up that robe mama!
I needed a good Martha laugh this morning…thank you!
Yes, I believe hushpuppies are a southern thing because there is nary a one to be found in Colorado. And that makes me sad, not to mention hungry.
My mama can do that, too! I wish it were genetic.
No, sadly, there are no hush puppies to be found here in northeast PA. I ate them by the bucketful when we lived in FL and NC, but now I’m hush puppy poor. It makes my tongue a little sad to think about it … :)
Goodness, I just rolled reading this post. My sweet husband from NY could not understand a bit of it. But i was born and raised in LA and it took me home! Hilarious!
Oh Boomama, just hearing someone talk of strawberry cake (my favorite – next to Coconut) the fish camp,and Hattiesburg makes me so homesick this morning. I just wish I had some biscuits made with WR flour and some Blackburn syrup to drizzle (who am I kidding…)POUR on top…. thanks for taking me “back home” this morning!
~Beverly!
True Southern Belles…I want to be one when/if I grow up…..
Jeannie in GA
I’ve missed Martha!
We can only get hushpuppies at Long John Silvers up here and I doubt you’d approve of them.
So… did you eat the cake? I would have. I never win those spiritual battles.
I haven’t seen a hush puppie since I moved up here.
Which is probably good for my waistline.
California – No hush puppies here.
I live in NYC and I’ve never even heard of hush puppies. The food, at least. I’ve definitely heard of the shoes!
I have missed Martha. She is more fun. MORE FUN!!
Oh Boomama you are so funny. You make me miss my Mississippi. Your family reminds me so much of my own. We love our fishing camp too, and mama always has a fresh stawberry cake in the fridge too :)
I’m going to have to find out where this hair wizard of yours is. I’m in need of some highlights and some good southern food and fun.
I lived the first 42 years of my life in Texas, then moved to northeast Ohio, of all places (blame the hubby and his career). There’s only one place we can get hush puppies here – the local German restaurant. They’re not bad either.
I’ve missed Martha stories. She is hilarious!
Hushpuppies are one of my favorite thing in the world. I would never move north because I could NOT be away from them. But I like the kind that are round and done in corn meal – not the long stick kinds that some fish places try to serve. :-)
My daddy called them “Shut Up Dogs” but that’s a little more crass than “Hush Puppies.” :-)
No delicious hushpuppy goodness here in New England. Unless you go to Cracker Barrel. Which I do when the craving for fried catfish and hushpupies gets strong enough. But it’s just not the same!
Kentucky girl here, now a Tennessean, and you better believe we have hush puppies!!
By the way, my grandmother’s best friend was a Rubena, and they went EVERY Saturday morning to get their hair done!
Wait..are your family and my family the same? Because I SWEAR I just had the same experience the other day.
Guess it’s the Southrneness (Alabama, Mississippi, it’s all the same) shining through.
I particularly related to “WalMart(s)”. Hilarious.
Also, shout out to Reformed Grits’s post about the “shut up dogs.” That made me laugh really hard.
Also, I’m mourning for our northern friends who can’t partake in “shut up dogs.” Sad for them.
Oh.my.word. The spiritual warfare. You had me cackling out loud. I live the spiritual warfare everday.
and
“That must be terribly annoying.”
Help. I can’t breathe. I can’t quit laughing.
Very proud of the unsweet tea attempt. I have only made it to “half and half” – half sweet half unsweet. You know when you order that in a restaurant – they know what you are talking about.
Hushpuppies – try them with cheese dip – H-E-A-V-E-N-L-Y!!!!!
Thanks for the laughs! Love me a Martha story.
First of all – thanks for an update on “Marti” – she indeed seems to personify sassy! BUT oh sweet Mama of the Boo – why would you NOT eat strawberry cake – after a fried meal (which may just possibly also had some salt and seasoning in it) don’t you know the palate must be cleansed with fruit? Strawberry cake – oh MY yes yes yes (should be read as if you were imitating Meg Ryan’s “faking it” scene When Harry Met Sally). Thank you kindly for the updates, food cravings and again showing what a woman of steel you truly are – I mean UNsweet tea – wow!
Martha stories are awesome! You really need to get a recording of Martha for us. I have an idea in my head about how she sounds, but I have a feeling that hearing her would take Martha stories to a whole new level! Any chance of that happening??
I better go back and read the Mama and the Fish Camp story again, because that is even better than the Martha stories. Hilarious!
Have a wonderful weekend. Enjoy that strawberry cake!! Mmmmm!!
What do you think about martha doing a guest bit on a podcast? Is that too over-the-top? Y’all could talk about new items at Steinmart(s).
She really kills me. Because i don’t have ANY family members Just Like Her. Nope, I sure don’t.
The movie was Species. I was watching it, too. I just couldn’t bring myself to turn it off and go to sleep. So sad. LOL
I may be an AL girl living in GA but hushpuppies and I do NOT get along. Too dry and tasteless. But I do have a strange craving for strawberry cake. :)
The hushpuppy is a gift from God. My southern roots make me a lover of all that is fried- catfish, okra, and the hushpuppy. I recently learned how to make them because no one around here makes them. The mess is worth it!
You know how all the good instructors regarding blog development say not to have too long a post or risk losing your audience?????
I am always GIDDY to find a longer post on your site. I know I am in for several laughs and a great ending every time.
Oh- and as for Hush Puppies… we have Long John Silver and Red Lobster… but no QUALIFYING SOUTHERN REAL H.P’s in which to partake here in Pennsylvania.
Let’s hear it for the south Ya’ll… and their many fine foods.. .and hello- SWEEEEEET TEA!
Everything I’ve ever bought from WalMart has died in just days! Everything! I think there’s a protective force field around the garden center, keeping things alive. Once you leave that force field, all bets are off.
Thank you for sharing the Martha, Mama & verbena goodness with us. I’m in Idaho – no hush puppies here. I’m pretty sure there are not hush puppies anywhere on the west coast …..
My sister-in-law is from Minnesota and had never even HEARD of a hushpuppie before. Sad day.
They also played a game called “Duck, Duck, Grey Duck” instead of “Duck, Duck, Goose”
That really weirded me out when she told me.
BooMama,
I have to say that hushpuppies are one of my absolute favorites! I grew up in south Florida and they were a staple to be sure. Along with grits (cheesy ones sometimes) and fried lobster; yes fried. That’s the ONLY way to truly enjoy it. So, take the fried lobster coupled with cheesy grits and hushpuppies and sweet tea, and you’ve got the PERFECT meal. Follow it up with Key Lime pie and you could be arrested (just so the cop can steal your dinner).
Beth
I can always count on you for a good laugh! I live in the Northwest and have never had a hushpuppie. However, I do have a healthy verbena in my flower garden!
Yes, there are hush puppies in NE Ohio. We even have verbena. Oh, and we can kill it too if we try or don’t!
No hush puppies in Oregon. We ate at a restaurant in Texas recently and I had to ask the waitress what “that thing is”. Sorry if you find me disappointing.
in iowa hushpuppies are only at long john silvers. but last week i was in hattiesburg, and yep we had hushpuppies at our fam gathering.. and catfish.
this is such a classic boomama post, it made my day. my weekend even. xoxo melzie
Here in Canada we don’t eat hushpuppies, and not being as polite as you Southerners, if we did, they’d be called “Shutupyoustupidmutt”s. What are they made out of?
Love your blog.
Could you ask your mom why the leaves of a trailing lobelia would be turning all orangey at the bottom. Me, I don’t have a green thumb. Anything which survives using photosynthesis, and cannot speak to ask for food, does not do well here living at my house. But I am trying. So maybe your mom could do some guest “Your Gardening Questions Answered” on your blog for us black thumbs? (you know, black being the color of death, or: what I do to plants).
:)
Just in case any of ya’ll were interested…
http://whatscookingamerica.net/Bread/Hushpuppies.htm
The history of the hushpuppie….
Oh BooMama. I think these are my favorite posts. What can beat reading stories about Mama, Martha, Steinmart(s), Walmart(s), and the fish camp.
Going home does one a world of good.
No hush puppies in Maine unless I make them myself….which sounds like an awesome idea!
Martha is precious. She reminds me of my Mom except somewhat less annoying.
Just read some earlier comments, and OMG I might possibly go out and buy one of those pod-thingies just to listen to Martha on a pod cast.
Okay. I love your family, because they are, after all, my family in spirit. That is just classic. Mama and Martha together in one post.
And also. . .I’m feelin’ REALLY sorry for all of those gals who’ve never had hot hushpuppies and a big ‘ole pile of fried fish. Have mercy–we need to ship some north.
I love Martha & I just met her today, on your blog. (Although she & my stepmama might be cousins, from the sounds of it.) Are there archived posts about her that I can read? Also fishing camp archives?
I agree w/ Cara, Mama’s Green Thumb gardening tips would be a rockin’ podcast, & so timely for you lucky Southerners knee deep in warm weather. After our snowstorm in Denver on Thursday (yes, May 1), spring seems pretty elusive….
No hush puppies here in the Northwest. Several years ago my husband and I went to the wedding of his friend in Texas. At a local eating place I asked what hushpuppies were and the waitress looked at me like I had grown a third eye!
There is one place I know of in all of Southern California to get hush puppies. A rib joint called Johnny Rebs, whose slogan is, “Put some South in your mouth!”
They also sponsor the local rodeos.
And serve black eyed peas.
And a creamy coleslaw.
And sweet potato pecan pie.
And now I’m gettin’ a hankerin’ for some of that good suthuhn food, y’all…
Oh BooMama, I am laughing so hard tears are rolling down my cheeks! My husband came upstairs to check on me and I made him read this post (I could not do it with out laughing) Thank you for making my day with this wonderful story!
I live in TN yes I (we) love hush puppies, actually you will never believe we had catfish and hushpuppies tonight! You just have to be from the south to appreciate them I think!
I will definetly be back to visit soon. Love love love your blog!
Hugs!
Sheila
I don’t know that I’ve ever had a hushpuppy in my life. What are they? Is that kind of breaded, deep fried thingie?
I’m a very northern north bred and born northie girl… annnnnd…. what’s a hush puppy?
You and all your “sassy” crack me up. And I just wanted to tell you that. Because your blog cheers me up when I’m down and I look forward to reading it all the time!
tasty and delicious hushpuppies here in ohio!
You just can’t make that kind of stuff up can you? True stuff is funny…oh so funny.
Thank you for making me laugh out loud!
Um, yeah… could you explain “hush puppies” to this Washingtonian? I’ve heard the name, but I’ve never really been sure of what they are…
Oh, and I always enjoy Martha stories. :)
You realize, of course, that we will HAVE to have verbena updates. I, for one, am expecting a miracle of verbena restoration to PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL status!
Your Martha, she cracks me up, to the point where her stories on your blog always cause my children to come and stare at the computer screen wondering why mommy is laughing out loud. :)
Oh! And we do have Hush Puppies here in Ohio, though usually only at places that serve fried fish. That’s some important data for your poll.
Bless you!
I about wet my pants reading about Martha’s sassy, or was it darling? jacket from the Steinmarts and her unfortunate plant purchase at the local Walmarts!
The hubs and I had a similar navigation problem this afternoon on our way back from the Grower’s Outlet and our car full of firehouse nandinas, new gold lantana and a well endowed Sapphire Showers Duranta repens.
I needed to use the facilities and I *thought* I knew were Ruby, ahem, pardon me, THE Ruby Tuesdays was. Needless to say we managed to have a fabulous lunch on salad, turkey minis and black raspberry tea. Our waitress was not wonderful, so perhaps she didn’t have previous experience from the Olive Gardens?
LOL
About the hush puppies — it has to be a southern thing, but may I just say, “as God as my witness [I will never go without hushpuppies] again.”
The only hushpuppy I’ve ever seen are the plush dogs that were popular when I was a kid (and I’m pretty sure I still have mine somewhere. :) )
as for the plants, I could use someone like your mom coming to teach me about gardening!
I haven’t read all the comments, but I’m sure many people have told you that movie is called Species. I’m sorry to tell you that I saw that movie in the theater with my then-boyfriend the night that he proposed to me.
Twelve years of wedded bliss have not erased my bitterness that I had to sit through Species on the night of my engagement.
Why yes, hush puppies ARE a southern thang. I have yet to find one, well a good one, on the left side of North America.
You should have seen my California in-laws at my rehearsal dinner at Cock of Walk. These are the same vegetarian eating, low fat lovin’ in laws that make me feel like a total pig any time we go out to eat. I in fact do not order the vegetarian special. I do not order from the low fat menu. I enjoy myself thank you very much.
Well, they just loved the “quaint” decor of Cock of the Walk. They just thought the tin cups and tin plates on the table were the funniest things they had ever seen. Then the waiter comes and flips that corn bread. And brings out the greens in the little pots. Oh the cuteness of it all.
Then I go and ruin them FOREVER by ordering fried dill pickles. Then the catfish and hush puppies arrive. The room goes quiet as they survey the great levels of cholesterol in front of them. Then, they dig in. And the room remains quiet because they are too busy stuffing their faces with the goodness that only batter and fat can bring. The silence is broken when my husband’s nephew is heard saying “Aunt so and so, that’s MY hush puppy!”. My teeny tiny sister in law was caught steeling a hush puppy. But, she was quickly pacified by the goodness that only a fried dill pickle can give.
From then on, she has been “Hushpuppy” to me.
Ah, Martha stories! That is one of the VERY BEST THINGS about the Boomama site!
Keep ’em comin’!
I was in North Carolina last week and ate my FIRST! HUSH! PUPPIES! EVER! and yes- they were absolutely delicious!
Loved this post of Marti and your mama. Someone mentioned hush puppies being dry and tasteless — they haven’t had REAL southern hush puppies!