I am sitting in my parents’ living room watching a movie on AMC and checking email. I have no idea what the movie is called, but it has something to do with Natasha Henstridge running from scientists, Marg Helgenberger sporting a mullet and Ben Kingsley attempting to speak with a Brooklyn accent.
Also, Natasha Henstridge seems to have some sort of alien creature growing in her shoulder.
That must be terribly annoying.
Anyway, everyone here has gone to sleep except for me, and I’m in the midst of some fierce spiritual warfare because there’s a strawberry cake in my mama’s refrigerator.
And normally I would just eat the cake and be done with it, but we made a trip to the fish camp tonight, so I’ve already had fried fish and hush puppies and then several more hush puppies (are hush puppies a Southern thing? or are they everywhere? should I conduct a survey?), and I don’t really need to add strawberry cake to the caloric mix.
Of course, I probably didn’t need to add my third, fourth and fifth hush puppies to the mix, either.
However, in my defense, I drank unsweetened tea tonight, so HELLO, CLEARLY I AM VERY SERIOUS ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS.
So Martha went with us to the fish camp and she had on a darling jacket from Steinmart(s), just DARLING, and she could not wait to tell me about her trip to the new Olive Garden(s) in Hattiesburg where she got this chicken, this chicken with the most wonderful citrus sauce and you know their bread is so good! just so good! not to mention the salad which is just really, really tasty, even though she doesn’t really eat a lot of salad, she’s just not a huge fan of salad, but still, it was delicious! and the service! they had the best service! the most wonderful service!
Wonderful!
On the way home from the fish camp Martha told Mama and me all about the most stunning verbena plant she found at Walmart(s) a few days ago, and she said there were blooms everywhere! just everywhere! so many blooms that they took up the whole backseat once Martha and her friends finally wrangled the plant into the car, and Martha was so excited, I mean you can only imagine how excited she was to have found that verbena with all of those deep purple blooms, and she could not WAIT to put it on her patio, she couldn’t wait!
And then she put it on her patio and it was almost completely dead within two days.
And Martha doesn’t think that even she could kill a plant in two days, I mean it was PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL there at the Walmart(s), but she doesn’t have her ticket anymore and she can’t take it back and she doesn’t know what in the world to do but she’s sick! just sick! because it was PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL!
So by the time Martha finished her Tale of Verbena Woe (not to be confused with Martha’s friend Rubena, who is also PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL but as far as I know cannot be purchased in the garden center of any local Walmart(s), nor does she, you know, BLOOM), we were back at Martha’s house, and I had no sooner started to put the car in park than my mama was unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the passenger door.
I asked Mama if she was planning to go inside, and she said, “OH NO, I wouldn’t do that – it’s late! But I just want to check on that verbena.” And before I could point out that it was PITCH BLACK DARK, Mama was walking with purpose to the patio.
Which was perfect because then Martha and I had even more time to talk about the fact that THE VERBENA, IT DIED.
Within about two minutes Mama was making her way back to the car and telling Martha to get that plant in a shallow dish of water and out of the direct sun. Because somehow, even in the COMPLETE ABSENCE OF LIGHT, Mama was able to determine that the root system was healthy but the leaves were scorched, and I did not question her diagnosis for even half a second because she has been nursing all manner of plants to freakishly healthy levels since the Eisenhower administration inhabited the White House.
She has a gift, people.
Martha was understandably thrilled by Mama’s specific instructions, and she had an extra spring in her step when she walked in her house. I think she was downright giddy at the prospect of being able to rescue her verbena.
Plus, you know, her jacket looked totally cute with her medallion necklace and monogrammed purse. And that always makes a girl feel sassy.
(Sassy!)
(Just so sassy!)
(Sassy verbena sassy!)
Have a great weekend, y’all.
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