Several of y’all emailed or commented over the weekend to let me know that I was obviously Deeply Confused about the release date of TLC’s “Waterfalls” because it was in 1995, not 1998, and you know this because YOU HAVE SOME DISTINCT “WATERFALLS” MEMORIES, OH YES YOU DO.
Y’all are totally right. I was totally wrong. It was 1995. It would appear that when I was writing Friday’s post I confused the release date of “Waterfalls” with the release date of “No Scrubs.” I’m not exactly sure why I did that, but my best guess is that it had something to do with a complete absence of fact checking and/or research on my part.
Plus, this is just what happens when you’re on the back side of 30. You rely too much on your memory and start mixing up song release dates because of sheer pop culture overload. The next thing you know I’m going to be calling Janeane Garafolo “Arlene Galapagos” (true story) and somebody’s going to have to order me one of these.
Anyway.
We had a wonderful, laid-back 4th at our house despite the fact that my left ear is so completely stopped up that you could light a stick of dynamite two feet away from me and I would not even flinch. Come to think of it, that was pretty much my exact reaction during Saturday night’s fireworks extravaganza: “Oh, look at the pretty, sparkly explosions! Do they make any noise at all? I don’t hear even the slightest bit of noise! WHAT DID YOU SAY? I’M SORRY, BUT I CAN’T HEAR A THING!”
I tried to get an appointment with my ENT on Friday, but they’d taken the day off for the 4th, so hopefully today will be the day when somebody will drain my dadgum ears and tell me once again that I have unusually small ear canals. Because as you can imagine, when I take Alex to the pool every single day, the first thought that crosses my mind when I take off my swimsuit cover-up is Oh, these other mamas may be “fit” and “toned” and “thin” and “in shape,” but wait! I have unusually small ear canals! I’VE NEVER FELT BETTER ABOUT MYSELF!
Needless to say, it’s a heady confidence that has settled way down deep in my soul.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to call the doctor again. And fold a small mountain of laundry. And go swimming with a child who possesses an an uncanny ability to unintentionally kick and/or splash water straight into my ears no matter where I am on the pool premises. And then continue to say “WHAT? MY EAR IS STOPPED UP!” anytime anyone asks me anything for the rest of my life and forever and for always or at least until the ENT can fix me.
Thank you and amen.
Good luck with your appointment with the ENT. I wish I had small ear canals as a plausible reason for the things I mishear.
Praying for your mini-ears. :)
Oh my, I’ve had all kinds of trouble with my ears lately, and I have an appointment on Thursday. If they tell me nothing is wrong, again, I’m going to shove something in their ear and ask them if they still think nothing is wrong. Last time I flew home I had to spend the entire last leg of my flight with a styrofoam cup up against my ear to relieve the pressure. I was a lovely sight!
I hope you can get some relief!!!
I hope you can get in today. I know how you feel. My ear canals are so small, I can get swimmer’s ear from taking a shower.
(I’m tempted to type this in all caps so you can hear me!) :-) I’m so sorry about your ears…but your sense of humor is always so delightful.
I have to go make pancakes out of my “girls” today for my annual mammagram… oiy! I’ll be thinking about your ears and trying to keep my sense of humor as the nurse tells me to hold my breath…is it possible to breathe anyway in that machine?!
Imagine: ENTs closed for the Fourth of July. Them and all the restaurants that were closed. What is up with that? Because what says “Happy Birthday, America” more than getting take out?
Hoping for clear ears for your viewing pleasure of The Bachelorette.
This is going to sound crazy, but I had the same issue–and a chiropractor helped me!
I happened to work with a chiropractor at the university I taught at, and he was able to “pop it” with some hand-over-the-ear pressure and wala…I was able to hear. Something to consider should you not be able to get into see an ENT.
Granted, my students probably didn’t like that I could now hear them grumble about their math homework, but it did work. : )
My mom can’t stand flying. My sister and I never fully understood this until we took a 45 minute flight with her to Dallas. On the way home she kept making that weird face trying to get her ears to pop while also gripping the armrests. When we landed and were walking out of the plane I asked her if her ears were better. She said, “YES I GOT ALL MY BAGS, BUT I CAN’T HEAR A THING!” My sister and I vowed we would never fly with my mom again without all of us being properly medicated.
You know… I too thought about the release date of that song just yesterday. I was married in 1998 and I knew that song was a hit before I was married, so yes, I’m glad to get that cleared up. I hope you get some relief from your small ear canals. I battled an ear problem all of last summer and it is no. fun. at. all. =)
Glad you had a GREAT Fourth and may you be able to hear once again, soon!!! :) haha!! It’s gotta be annoying. That ENT doctor better get you in!
I love how you see the positive in every situation. Hope the ear feels better soon.
I bet it’s hard to hear to make your appointment via phone. LOL
I think that would be a blessing somewhat, a vacation from noise! Unless your ears feel like you have a conch shell plastered to your ears. Ha.
you poor thing! i remember your original “small ear canal” post…that must have been back in 2006? no?
If you wear big hoop earrings, they will totally highlight your petite ear canals.
Seriously, hope you feel better soon.
bless your heart, boomama, and your too-thin ear canals. could your ENT possibly give you a set of tubes that would help? i am taking my year old son to have his hearing tested tomorrow, and i have a feeling that we will be heading down that road here again soon. we will be praying for you; hope you feel better!
Praying that your ear problem gets taken care of, I know that you are miserable but you have such a great attitude about it. You are such a encouragement!! Have a great day!!
I am currently on IV at home with home care due to an infection in my foot! I was informed last week that I have small veins! I was very pleased with this announcement! haha!
Have you ever tried ear candling? It might release the pressure and blockage in your ear! Google it! It’s quite a weird and fun thing to do!
Sounds like a good day for fried chicken… (she says whispering).
Did ya hear it?
I always laugh when I’m reading about your day. I think I’ve said it before but I do wish I was your neighbor. On a day like today I could interpret for you so you wouldn’t have to try to hear things. Here’s hoping you can get all fixed up soon!
So the title of your post made me snort-laugh…’nuff said!
I’ve got a mule, and her name is Sal,
Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal.
She’s a good ol’ worker an’ a good ol’ pal,
Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal.
When I take off my swimsuit cover-up, I revel in the presence of my thin corneas. When I tried to have Lasik surgery a few years ago, they denied me due to my thin corneas.
Oh how glad I am I clicked over here today (I’m reading blogs, stop the press). You make me giggle even when you feel bad. But I hope the feeling bad is over VERY soon.
P.S. ear candling has worked for me too.
Okay, you’ve probably heard all the home remedies from everyone and their mother’s hairdresser, but the very best preventive “medicine” I’ve discovered for swimmer’s ear issues is to pour a small amount of rubbing alcohol into each ear canal after swimming. It helps the water evaporate. I’m not a doctor, and I never even played one on TV, but I promise it helps prevent problems. I had 4 kids with 8 (clear) ear canals to prove it.
:)
Cathy
Bless your heart. And your ears.
I’m a new reader, so it may be that someone else has already suggested this, but just in case, I’ll share my remedy for water in ears.
Use a cotton ball to absorb a good bit of rubbing alcohol from a bottle (70% isopropyl). Lean your head far over to one side–perhaps even lay your head down upon a counter. Squeeze the alcohol from the cotton ball into your ear. If you like, tug on your earlobe so the alcohol has a chance to travel into your unusually small ear canals. Then, quick like a bunny, flip your head to the other side. You might want to hold a washcloth up to your cheek as you do this, for the alcohol (and all the water) should come rushing out. Repeat if necessary, then do the other ear.
This really works for us. I would never, never, never travel without cotton balls and a little bottle of alcohol.
Good luck!
Sister, you need some ear candles.
I thought about your post this week when I had to have blood drawn and the tech said, “my you have small veins, I’m going to need to use a small needle.” So I’ll be happy to proudly display my teeny-tiny veins anytime…