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Last spring I was reading a friend’s blog and noticed that she’d issued a challenge to her readers: 30 Days of Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred. I was intrigued. I was also – dare I say it – inspired. And for reasons I have yet to fully understand, I immediately thought, “Okay. I’m in.” AND I SIGNED UP FOR IT.
CLEARLY SOME FITNESS-MINDED ALIENS SEIZED CONTROL OF MY MIND.
So I drove to the Target and bought the DVD and decided that the very next day would be Day One.
OH MY MERCIFUL HEAVENS.
But in a delightfully unexpected turn of events, I found out that my friend Melanie had also committed to the challenge. I cannot overstate the importance of this discovery because HELLO, ACCOUNTABILITY, NICE TO SEE YOU. We also realized that we were both planning to set aside some time to “shred” in the afternoons, but we were sort of blase’ about it because the workout only lasts 20 minutes, and how hard could that be, right? I mean, I can do all sorts of things for 20 minutes: I can lift the fried chicken off of my plate and put it into my mouth, I can repeatedly mash the buttons on the TV remote, and I can also send and receive countless text messages while continually sipping an ice cold diet Coke.
You may be picking up on why the aliens seized control of my mind and convinced me to sign up for the challenge in the first place.
So on that fateful spring afternoon, when there was not another living soul in my house, I turned on the DVD and got ready to feel the burn. I even wore my brand new lavender leotard and hot pink leg warmers.
Oh, I kid because there was a time when I really did own a lavender leotard and hot pink leg warmers.
I will spare you all the details of my initial foray into shredding, but suffice to say that within the first five minutes of the workout I was thinking Not Nice Things about Jillian and her perky fitness compadres. It didn’t help that Anita – who was quickly becoming my new BFF since she was in charge of showing us the “modified” moves, aka The Moves For Those Of You Whose Primary Form Of Exercise Has Been Pointing Your Toes While Typing – had abs so defined that I thought at first they must surely be the creation of some subtle airbrushing, only to realize that OH, those abs are totally real, and MY WORD, they are spectacular.
However, I moved past my bitterness, soldiered through the workout (does it tell you something that I was actually relieved when it was time for the ab segments because that meant I got to LIE ON THE FLOOR?), and y’all, when those twenty minutes were over, my leg muscles were so exhausted that my very first thought was I’ll never walk normally again.
Sure enough, I spent the next forty-five minutes trying to figure out how I was going to walk without looking like some straight-from-the-boondocks contestant on America’s Next Top Model who is trying to impress Tyra with what she thinks is a fierce runway walk. The only way I could manage to keep my knees from locking up was to lift my the tops of my legs to a forty-five degree angle with my waist, then sort of kick out my leg until my foot hit the floor, and later, when Melanie and I were laughing until we cried about The Day Jillian Nearly Killed Us, I described my new walk as something along the lines of what you’d expect from a demented clydesdale.
In other words: it was very sexy and now.
And since I had absolutely no hope of being mobile for day two of The Shred since WHOA, NELLIE, LEGS WERE A-SMARTIN’, I figured that maybe I could track down some sort of beige marker and spend my twenty minutes watching Jillian tell me to WORK HARDER and PUNCH IT OUT while I drew ab muscles on my stomach in an attempt to replicate Anita’s rockin’ six-pack.
Certainly I was climbing to new heights of fitness!
Or at least I would have been.
If only I had been able to, you know, stand up.
So.
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I don’t know how funny this story is to others, but at the time I thought it was. I joined a lady’s gym when I was a teenager and there was a woman who insisted on walking around the lady’s locker room completely naked. She would go up to people and have conversations with them, stark naked. I thought it was pretty outrageous.
I actually work out regularly and am in pretty good shape but am naturally a klutz, so I have numerous stories. About a year ago, I was taking a step class. We were doing a new routine and I didn’t know the move so I was watching the instructor pretty closely and stepped too far on the step and the front of my foot went right over it! This, of course, caused me to fall over the step onto my hands and knees while twisting my ankle! I had to fill out an “accident” report and everything!! But the worst part was that there is a big window that the cardio room looks into so not only did I fall in front of my whole class, but everyone on treadmills, bikes and ellipticals!
I have ordered not only “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” on VHS, thankyouverymuch, but also the Windsor Pilates (on DVD). Apparently I’m a sucka for a good late-night infomercial. I managed to sweat to the oldies once, and couldn’t make the Windsor “ring” work despite some maneuvers attempting to do so, therefore both purchases were more like donations to the cause than health boosts for me.
Oh goodness…no recent funny fitness stories. But back in the 80s I did all the latest crazes…starting with a little fitness club near my work. We wore leotards (mine were hunter green and I do not know how I avoided accessorizing them with something maroon or mauve…) and Reeboks and our exercise sessions were led by little middle-aged society ladies who still went and got their hair done once a week. This place had machines with rolling beads that you pressed your thighs against to “break up the cellulite”, and vibrating belt things that went around the hips to “break down the fat cells” in that area. Very retro! :)
My step dad doing the Richard Simmons workout was hilarious!!! I almost peed myself watching him!
I’ve never really been “athletic”. it started early! when I was in elementary school, part of PE was running around the gym for 15 minutes. everyone would line up behind me because they knew I wouldn’t run fast. the teacher nick-named me pokey. it probably should have hurt my feelings, but I owned it!
group aerobics class in college – enough said
When my best friend and I were in high school, we decided to try step aerobics. I was always off beat and off track. I was the girl standing on the step when everyone else was down. Thanks to the big mirrors in front of the room, everyone saw. Why do they have those big mirrors anyway?
I DO NOT exercise…hate it ;) My DH didn’t believe me at the time we were first dating (19) years ago and he wanted me to go “hiking”…yeah right! I went and it was NOT my idea of hiking…you know a nice walk in the woods…on flat land where you come out into a meadow or next to a stream. NO…he meant MOUNTAIN hiking or climbing…I was so mad at him that when we got to the top and he saw some wild flowers and pointed them out to me…I laid into him with some not so nice adjectives. To the tune of…get me off this f’n moutain and shove those flowers where the sun don’t shine ;) Needless to say he doesn’t ask me to exercise anymore and we get along just fine. I just remind him that I don’t ask him to sit down and scrapbook or paint with me so he shouldn’t expect me to do any form of exercise…lol
Some people say “no pain, no gain!” I say, “no pain, no pain.”
I had two other female roommates. One of them commented at a big singles church event, “Yeah, well, you don’t have to sit around and watch Lindsey and Michelle do TaeBo all the time.” One of the guys there replied with, “I would LOVE to sit around and watch Lindsey and Michelle do TaeBo all the time . . . where do I sign up??!?!” It made us both feel good and everyone else thought it was funny.
I do The Shred periodically when I can’t get to the gym. Of course I yell at Jillian while I’m doing it b/c it makes me feel better. My daughter said “Momma, if she’s trying to kill you, then you need to stop following her!” Every time we see a picture of Jillian on the TV or in the stores, she’ll say “Momma, that’s the girl that tries to kill you.” Yes, yes it is.
Ugh, that would be the basketball game in which I blocked a shot. Wow, cool! Not embarrassing you say?
I blocked the shot of my own team member.
Hilarious now. It wasn’t then.
When I was a sophomore in college my roommate and I decided to take advantage of the free classes at the gym on campus but we didn’t want to be embarrassed by all the tiny little girls that take things like “Rock Bottoms” and “Killer Abs” so we took (I kid you not) water aerobics. It was all much older professors and the two of us and that 60+ crowd kicked our butts. I’ve never felt so silly. We were sweating and panting and they were just swimming along. I can only imagine what other people in the pool area where thinking.
Well, I’m currently being evaluated for a suspected stress fracture in my ankle after taking up the Couch to 5K running program…not exactly what I was planning.
How about the time I tried out for volleyball in junior high? I had SUCH a hard time at the very first practice that I pretended to sprain my ankle so I could go sit down. Then, I pretended it was SO bad that I had to quit the team the next day. Mortifying in a way, but it also gives me a giggle now. I was SO dramatic as a child! :-)
My story is about that one time I tried to watch a movie on the treadmill. It was my favorite movie ever – Castaway. I was chugging away when Tom cuts his foot on the coral. I knew it was coming and closed my eyes for just a sec to feel his pain…. next thing I know, I’m face down on the treadmill going 7 mph in the wrong direction.
When I was fresh out of college, I started attending a yoga class for beginners. After only a couple of weeks or so of regular attendance, I was so confident in my bending and stretching prowess that I decided I was ready to try a more difficult class. Since there were no “intermediate” classes that fit m schedule, I tried one labeled “intermediate/advanced” with the mistaken notion that the moves would be modifiable enough for me to keep up.
For the first move, the instructor had the students BALANCING ON THEIR HEADS. And they weren’t even using a wall for balance. I wish I was joking.
After a few pitiable attempts and some ugly looks from the instructor, I packed up my shiny new yoga mat and walked the Walk of Shame out the door and to my car. Come to think of it, I don’t think I ever went back into that fitness center. Ever.
Remember step aerobics…doing the turn where you walk over the top and turn and then come back, I sort of resembled how a dog circles his bed right before he lies down. Lovely memory!
Love and Blessings, Debbie in Tennessee
My favorite memory is planning to work out to a video with some of my (then 20 year old) girlfriends. Somehow, we ended sitting in front of the tv watching the video and eating bowls of ice cream.
After being asked many times by a friend to attend her Jazz-er-size class (she was the instructor), I finally relented and went. What you need to understand is I have NO rhythm and can not dance (another story for another time) but she promised I could be in the back of the room and no one would see me. Let’s just say I was not good at it. The class would be going to the right and I was going to the left, they were going forward and I was going backward, etc. But no one could see me….until midway through when she had them turn around and face the back of the room and continue the work-out! Now, I was on the front row. I nearly died and about killed her after class!! I was so embarrassed! Needless to say, that was my one and only visit!
Oh, there are plenty. The best is probably when I was messing with the buttons on a treadmill I did not think was plugged in and had the fall of my life. I still have scars.
the time I tried to do hot yoga…wasn’t funny at the time but looking back it is halarious!
Jillian scares me and during the last 5 minutes of Day One, I was shouting at her — yes, audibly — at the television screen. I did not curse, but I may or may not have said “I hate you, Jillian!”
Blessings,
Dori
P.S. I really don’t hate her. I am sure she is a lovely young lady. But I am afraid of her. VERY AFRAID!
my friend and i at 22 decided to try yoga at the adult center…we went out and bought new yoga pants, tank tops, yoga mats, the whole kit. we got there and it was PACKED – full of 80+ yr old women, who still kicked our butts! talk about being put in your place!
I know I shouldn’t laugh, but one day my friend and I were walking on the treadmills when she tripped and flew off the back of it in to the wall. It still makes me snicker.
I tried to be a runner in college, but my 5-foot roommate (I’m 5’6″) zoomed off and left me in the dust. Now I only run if something large and fierce is chasing me.
Last summer, in my quest to begin online dating, I had a date with a VERY fit swim coach from a local college. Two days prior to said date, I chose to try squats with weight. [after ZERO squats in YEARS] I could barely walk into the restaurant… Gah!!
Richard Simmons…. always makes me laugh!
The first (um..and only) time I did a cardio kickboxing class, I was so out of shape that I was literally huffing and puffing through the entire thing while people glided seamlessly from move to move. Combine that with the fact that I’m completely uncoordinated and all those left-right moves just did not work for me. I was a mess. I’ve also nearly killed myself at a step class. I just realized need to stop taking classes that require me to know my left from my right…
During college, my friend and I were running one night around the campus. She fell and twisted her ankle so I told her I would run back to the room and get my car to drive her back – because she couldn’t even walk. I tried to run as fast as I could but I got really tired a few minutes into my run and decided I would just walk back to the room. I had to confess to her that I walked back to get the car while she was sitting in the dark and in pain. My friends have never let me live it down!
My funniest workout related story is when the 75 pound dog decided to join me on the treadmill. It was not so pretty when we both fell off! Treadmills have safety keys for a reason I found out. They stop if you pull the key out. Too bad I didn’t connect it to me like you are suppose to! Is anyone else hearing Olivia Newton John singing “physical, let’s get physical!” Kind of goes with your leotard and leg warmers!
Well, it didn’t actually include any fitness activities, per se, but anyone remember the Buns of Steel videos? Well, on one fateful night, my college roommate sat on a nail (right in her bum), so we plastered her wall with the ads for Buns of Steel. Good times!!
How about the time Uncle Papa decided to take up golf…put the ball on the tee…took a big swing…squinted to see how far the ball flew…only to find it still sitting at his feet. My boy decided he was not cut out to be a golfer.
Playing tennis…we didn’t know how, so we pretty much ran up and down the courts just trying to keep the ball alive.
More embarassing than anything, but I went to the gym once, determined to use the stair master. I spent 10 minutes on it trying to figure it out. I could just feel everyone watching me wondering what in the world I was doing.
I used to work out with Richard Simmons videos. sad, sad. I would also get on the floor and stretch. I can’t get back up if I get down. ah, the passing of the years.
OH my. I believe I may have several fitness-related incidents, but I will share my first foray into dvd workouts. I got a 10-minutes-Pilates dvd. Well, let me tell you that Pilates is really a form of exercise best demonstrated by a real live teacher because I was laying on the floor doing these strange exercises where you circle your legs around up off the floor, but you are supposed to be concentrating on using your stomach muscles to be accomplishing said circles, and my gosh, I was like SHAKING. Shaking, I tell you. I don’t even fully think I had control of myself. The very next day I went and purchased a regular old aerobics DVD and have loved it with all my heart and legwarmers since.
When we were still living at home, my older sister and I shared a room. She thought it would be a good idea to hook up this exercise…thing…I have no idea what it was…that was supposed to go on a doorknob to the knob of her chest of drawers. She started her “regimen” and about 2 minutes in the entire thing fell right over on top of her.
Meanwhile, I’m sitting on the bed doing my “regimen” – reading a book. When the chest dumped on top of her, I jumped (I use the term loosely) up and TRIED to go get help. Instead, I fell straight to the floor when I saw her head was bleeding, forever earning me the nickname “Spaghetti Legs” when it comes to the sight of blood. Not a good day for either of us…
Last week, I tried to get the sound to work on 3 different treadmills before I realized my headphones were on backwards :)
I went out rollerblading on a hot summer day. Really hot. So hot that the tar bands they fix the cracks in pavement were actually melted again. When your rollerblades sink into that hot tar, they tend to stop rolling. Immediately. Then, so do you. I fell forward so fast I didn’t even have time to put my arms out in front of me. I smashed my breasts so hard that I think they nearly ended up pressed through to my shoulder blades. Just “GOOSH! WHAM! SHPLUNK!” The passersby in their cars all stopped and ran over to help me. It was both excrutiating, and humiliating, all the things that fitness endeavors tend to be.
I make myself laugh every time I do one of Leslie Sansone’s walking dvd’s because I talk to her and laugh with her.
I answer her questions as if she is in the room with me. She is my workout buddy, and Lord please help her if I ever meet her in person, because I’m sure I will act like I know her personally!!!
Embarassing, yes.
Will I stop? No!
My husband is someone who can sit on the couch all day, every day and then get up and run 3 miles without breaking a sweat. I’m the person who looks at a cookie and gains 5 pounds. To say there is some competition on my part would be accurate.
I thought it would be a great idea to get a Wii because of all the physical activity you have to do in order to play the games. My husband is a gamer and I cannot figure out the big remotes, so I thought if a game required us to actually do the activity, I could play it.
He bought a Star Wars Lightsaber Duels game. It combined his love for Star Wars and my desire to interact with the game. It’s three, long rounds of dueling. There’s force-field things while you’re swinging around the Wii remote. Basically I threw my sword arm around like a crazy person, pushed buttons with my other hand and prayed that I wouldn’t look too crazy.
It worked. I actually beat him at a video game, which NEVER happens. I did spend the next 6 weeks in physical therapy because I had an inflammed rotator cuff. Totally worth it though. I got a great work out from my crazy style of play and I beat my husband.
I would have to say hands down my first zumba class! I turned around at some point, red faced and exhausted while the 18 year old next to me threw her body left and right and my husband was DYING laughing…oh well…no zumba for me!
I once watched, yes watched, a fitness video (thinking that it would be easier if I had an idea of the moves it wanted me to make). By the time the video was over my back hurt. Yes my back hurt and I couldnt actually participate in the video, because, well my back hurt. Pathetic huh?
My teens recently caught a brief clip of Richard S. and Sweatin to the Oldies, and they refused to believe me that it was a real show. They thought it was a Saturday Night Live skit!
Ya know that “Flirty Girl Fitness” commercial on TV? Whenever it comes on, my 13 year old daughter does her own herky-jerky-dorky version. I laugh until I cry.
Oh it’s hard to be funny where the fitness is concerned. It’s all business around here. All somebody else’s business if you ask me and I was taught to mind my own. ;-)
I have a workout tape called Thin Thighs. Its five minutes…how hard can it be? I could not walk up or down stairs for two days. Made it hard to sneak out of work early when I couldn’t use the stairs.
Jazzercise, circa 1985-84ish, complete with leg warmers. It was something
First off – that was hilarious! The Shred terrifies me, so I stick to my treadmill. By sticking to it, I mean hanging my husband’s clean shirts on it.
All my memories revolve around fashion. The low point was a pair of white parachute cloth pants that I wore with my hot pink leotard – the waistband rolled down to show off the cute elastic belt I was sporting. A belt. With my leotard. Oh my. And how about that parachute cloth’s lack of breathability? It was special.
In May of 2009 I ran a half marathon – my first training run for this said marathon, I biffed it… not only did I fall down, scrape up my knees, hands, elbows and face, but I did it right in front of the local nursing home. Real nice!
Fitness never seems funny to me since I don’t like to you know, sweat, but I also did the 30 day shred challenge, and I’d say that the only funny was me yelling back at Jillian…So sad, but in the end, really a workout I liked….
I’m just gonna say that carrying a 5 month old while vigorously shaking a martini is not the best idea…and I do consider both activities exercise.
My BFF and I decided to try a spinning class once. Five minutes into the class we looked at each other and said, “Want to get out of here?” Five minutes later we bolted. All I can say is this: If you’ve experience childbirth, you are exempt from ever having to sit on a bicycle seat again.
oh yes! i am a 30 day shred reject! but i do love me some zumba!
I have a friend who decided to start working out while she was staying in a hotel because her house was being worked on after some water damage. She called me and told me she had worked off six calories on the treadmill, but she had been injured. When I asked her how that had happened, it turned out that my friend was trying to work out on the treadmill in flip-flops.
Oh, boy. One time I was on the treadmill at the gym, and I was totally lost in my head…daydreaming or singing some songs or thinking about how I was in, dare I say it, The Zone. Suddenly I felt a little unexpected air under my foot as it went back in my stride, and I looked down to find myself at the very end of the treadmill. I was so far gone in LaLa Land that I had slowed down my pace to the point that I was about to be thrown off the back of the treadmill. I was horrified, because I was surrounded by people who I suspect had been watching me for minutes thinking, “Wait for it….wait for it!!!” That’s when I decided the gym was far too dangerous, and, alas, not for me.
I laugh whenever I think about working out in college with my roommate, to Tae-bo with billy banks (blanks?)…anyhoo, we didn’t really need to work out, but it sure was funny to watch us do ‘karate’ moves in our living room.
I was doing a metabolic rate test at this really cool gym. Wanted to find out my peak heart rate to maximize those workouts right? I wore the best workout outfit I owned along with my ‘kick butt’ work out shoes and was ready to roll! Unfortunately, I panicked with the mask on my face while doing the walking portion of the test and tripped and fell off the treadmill. Cool huh?!
This isn’t totally fitness related, but once when I was out to the bars and left my keys locked in someone’s car, but took a cab back to my apartment before I had enough brains to realize I might NEED my keys, I ended up spending the night in Lifetime Fitness (in my bar clothes) because it was so wonderfully open for 24 hours.
My favorite AND funniest fitness memory…Me thinking that I’m going to stick to a fitness routine. THAT makes me laugh! :)
Richard Simmons is the first to come to mind.
first time going to a spin class= almost could not make it down the stairs to go to work the next morning
seriously i was really thinking about just hurling myself down a flight of stairs to keep from walking down them my legs hurt so bad!!
I still get tickled when I think about my mom doing workout videos for pregnant women when I was 6 and she was pregnant with my sister…I thought that it was so weird watching all those fat ladies..ha
A friend was running on the treadmill at the gym and watching a sports game on the TV in front of him. He became so engrossed in the game that he wasn’t paying attention to running. He lost his balance and faceplanted on the treadmill. I know it shouldn’t be funny, but the way his body moved to try to counteract his fall – was simply hilarious! He wasn’t seriously hurt, so a few chuckles shouldn’t hurt anyone, right?
At one point, a girlfriend and I decided to start doing videos together to get in shape. She had a Carmen Electra strip-tease-type video already, so we decided to give it a shot.
Let’s just say, I am just NOT as sexy as Carmen. Neither was my girlfriend. We spent more time laughing at each other trying (and failing) to be sexy than we did anything else. (But hey, when you laugh that hard, you get some pretty great ab workouts.)
There’s also the pregnancy workouts that my husband got me (at my request, I assure you). Let’s just say pregnancy gas and exercise positions… not the greatest combination. :) haha!
Um….how about the time I fell off my treadmill while going at a pretty good clip? It so wasn’t pretty, and it also wasn’t as graceful as when it happens to the people on America’s Funniest Videos. My two year old came rushing over and started praying for me as I sat writhing from knee pain. Wasn’t so funny then, but it is kinda fun now. ;)
In jr. high, the most popular boy at my school was playing in a basketball game and shot-and scored! a basket for the other team. He was forever known as Wrong-Way-Hall!
I have funny memories of doing Sweatin to the Oldies with my mom!
A fitness funny story that my friend told me was when she tried the shred after eating mac and cheese! Needless to say Jillian made her lose that mac and cheese!
One night my husband was doing a yoga video. He tied the plastic straps to the door (despite my advise to the contrary) and one flew off and hit him in the head. I about died laughing. Too funny.
About 25 years ago I did a lot of figure skating as exercise. Lots of spectacular wipe outs with that but the one I remember most was colliding with a friend and she broke her wrist and the worst part is I just kept telling her to shake it off. I think she literally tried that. Ouch!
About 10 years ago I worked in office with about 7 other girls. We were all pretty good friends and decided we would start doing Tae-bo after work. The big plan was to do it 2 times a week (at least). We all brought our workout clothes to work with us, put in the tape and about 10 minutes in someone suggested going out for cocktails and we were outta there! Every week after that we skipped the Tae-bo but continued the going out to have cocktails instead! Oh to be 20 again!!!
I don’t know that I’ve ever had a “funny” experience while exercising, but I do have a memory of my father giving me a “plus-size” work out video for Christmas…it was traumatic to say the least!
I may have avoided going to the gym for awhile and I may have gained a little weight. When I finally went back, I put on my gym clothes, went to the workout floor which was covered with mirrors, only to find that I may have been rocking some camel toe. Suffice to say, I haven’t been back to the gym for awhile.
Oh, there’s definitely the time that i TRIPPED OVER MY OWN FEET in seventh grade while “learning” to play tennis in gym class. Fell *hard* on the tennis court and, of course, broke my left arm. Oh, well – at least i got out of the rest of those “lessons” – *sigh*. Never did learn to play tennis, incidentally.
EVERY time I try to walk for fitness I end up with the worst case of chin splints (I hope that is proper) that you have ever seen . . . or felt! So I end up very sore for several days and unable to pursue the fitness routine. Poor me.
A few years ago my husband and I spent a season living in northwest England. We didn’t have a lot of friends or a lot to do, so we joined a fitness club. My mother had been an aerobics instructor back in the prime time of the 80’s, so I felt confident walking into my first aerobics class at our new British gym. No, I did not need to take the Intro to Aerobics class! I had grown up doing these moves! I skipped to the real class for the pros. Little did I know that at my English gym, aerobics meant complicated dance routines to popular music. I have always been an athlete – never a dancer! – and it was a mortifying 45 minutes. Even if I had enough rhythm to keep up, I couldn’t understand a word of the instructor’s English. The grand finale at the end of the class was Britney Spears’ “Oops I Did It Again” routine. Oops, I could not take one more minute of humiliation, so I ran across the length of the classroom and burst out through the doors, which slammed loudly behind me. From that moment forward I’m sure I was known as the Angry American Aerobicizer.
I remember doing the tae-bo video in my living room, only to look outside and see the neighbor kids watching me. nice!!
Last summer I was running with two of my girlfriends. One of my girlfriends brought her two boxers for our run. Her dogs run with us a lot so it was normal for them to come along. Well, along the trail, a guy walked up with a dog that showed his teeth to my friends 2 dogs. Well, you know how big boxers are, they both lunged across the trail at this other dog and I couldn’t stop fast enough. I was totally clothes-lined at the shins by the leashes. I WIPED OUT! Blood running down my hands and legs. We got up and continued on our 4 mile treck. And because I didn’t allow myself to wimp out I totally felt like a superhero! A superhero that was really sore the next day:) I wish I could have seen it on video. Had to have been hilarious to watch:)
Ok..so funny story….when I was just out of college my first job was teaching kindergarten. We had morning and afternoon classes. There was a 30 min. break between classes for lunch. The other K teacher and I did the Buns of Steel/Abs of Steel video during that time each day. We didn’t have time to change clothes or anything so…we just wore “teacher clothes” and by teacher clothes I mean jumpers because that was all the rage for K teachers at the time and used the circle time rug for our workout mats. It was a lovely time. Although buns of steel and/or abs of steel were never achieved.
I have tried so hard to become a runner over the past year, but things just keep happening…Tendonitis, stress fractures, shin splints…Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be?
Awhile back when Tae-Bo was the craze I decided to join in on the fun. Being an active full of life teen who did all sorts of sports and whatnots in school, I felt I could skip the beginners tape and while I was at it, let’s just skip right to the advanced tape. I mention all this, because, I was let’s say.. not an active teen with energy to spare. But I went about my courageous 45 minutes, being pushed by Mr. Blanks, about two thirds of the way through is when the lunges began. They were tough but I, like you, soldiered through….
Now go to the next and the following 3 days. My quads were so bad that my husband had to help me get on and off the toilet. I could not physically do it myself. It was terrible!! But it’s and the fun now (:
Tried to answer my cellphone while walking briskly on a YMCA treadmill. Decided to step off to talk, but attempted a one-foot-at-a-time maneuver that just doesn’t work. Landed behind the treadmill, sitting up, still talking on my cellphone!
While walking at the Y in my new tennis shoes, I kept stumping the toe and almost falling…I finally just left before I embarrassed myself…
It’s probably watching my brother trying to do the Wii Fit exercises. His feet are so big, he kept falling off the board. ;)
While walking my small dog in the neighborhood a few years ago, she got under my feet & down I went. A neighbor saw me & asked if I was okay. Red-faced I replied that I was…it’s amazing how the soreness creeps in though a few days later. Ouch!
So I’m doing my cardio routine at the gym when I decide to change things up and do the exercise bike for a while. (I usually treadmill or elliptical, but I figured it would be easier to read my magazine if I was sitting down). So I do my 40 minutes on the bike, and as I’m headed back to the locker room, heads are turning to watch me! Yeah buddy! I’ve still got it! Look at everyone looking! That guy even stopped talking to his friend to watch me! Heehee! I KNEW all this stupid cardio would pay off eventually! I am smokin’!
I was feeling pretty good about all my obvious hotness; so good in fact that I stopped by the full length mirror in the locker room to admire myself. And that was about the time I saw the giant sweat stain on my butt from the bike seat. A very large, very dark spot, showcasing nicely on my light gray yoga pants. It honestly looked like I had just wet myself. A lot. And then paraded around the gym. So much for my hotness.
Even better, I had left my change of clothes in the car, so I had nothing to change into. I ended up having to dry my rear end with the locker room hairdryer before I would venture back out in public. (If you’ve never had to blow dry your derriere before, let me tell you, it is the epitome of coolness).
To recap: looked like I peed myself, had to blow dry my butt in public. That’s enough to knock anyone’s hotness down a couple of notches.
Slipping. Splitting. You get the picture!
A few years ago, in a fit of insanity, I allowed myself to be talked in to a ‘toning’ class with my, then 13 year old, daughter. We managed the class just fine. But, by the end, I was shaking so badly from muscle fatigue, I couldn’t hang on to the soap in the shower. Not wanting to look like a wimp, I didn’t say anything to her at the time. The next day, however, I was so sore, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t navigate the steps or even bend to sit down on the toilet. For a week, it was a controlled fall rather than a sit. The only thing that made the experience worthwhile was the fact that by day two my daughter was a sore as I was!
Just last weekend my daughter asked us to go to picnic by a river. They young man who knew the route to the river from the parking lot said oh it is just a short walk. 1/2 mile and several huge fallen trees to climb over later we reached the beach. I collapsed into my chair. (carried by my dear husband)3 hours later, we made our way back to the parking lot. I collapsed into the car. The next day I could barely walk. LOL!
HA! Exercise and I are not on speaking terms. The treadmill lurking outside my bedroom door mocks me and my totally un-coordinated-ness. The Leslie Sansone (sp?)walk-fit tapes nearby sneer when I try to sneak by. BUT…..a VISA card???? That, I could totally enjoy!!!
Getting stuck, before swim practice, doing leg throw-downs with the girl who neglected to shave her pits or girlie bits. I had to self-inflict pain to prevent myself from giggling outloud about it!
hmmmm, the only memory I have is when I was in school and we were doing the President’s Physical Fitness test and I was running, fell down and cut up up my knee..I got up and kept running and did it again!!
went to a “dance party xtreme” class at 24 hour fitness where half the girls were wearing black and red official dance party xtreme gear. me and my cousins had a hilarious time trying to follow along!
Back in the day of Jane Fonda video tapes I was in college. I have one stellar memory of about a dozen girls lined up down the hall “feeling the burn”, when one of my girlfriends bent over and let out a very unladylike “toot”. Needless to say, the workout didn’t get finished because we were laughing so hard!!
Oh… my one and only aerobics class. I am directionally challenged – I went left when the instructor went right and vice versa… it was disastrous.
I am sticking to walking.
Showed up to a workout class I was doing with some friends … went to change from work clothes to workout clothes only to discover that, when I packed my bag that morning, I had mistakenly grabbed my husband’s shorts from the laundry basket instead of mine! Ever tried to tight-roll the elastic waistband of athletic shorts and then make it through an entire aerobics class without them falling off? Lesson learned for me!
My daughter loves the walking DVD’s by Leslie Sansone. So did her then 5-yr-old son. One evening she is doing the DVD and hears her son from the bedroom say, “WALK, WALK, WALK…..” in perfect rhthym with Leslie Sansone herself.
I “passed gas” in front of my boyfriend of only 2 months while we were exercising in our college gym together? That was pretty embarassing :)