This is sponsored content from BlogHer and The Laughing Cow.
Last spring I was reading a friend’s blog and noticed that she’d issued a challenge to her readers: 30 Days of Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred. I was intrigued. I was also – dare I say it – inspired. And for reasons I have yet to fully understand, I immediately thought, “Okay. I’m in.” AND I SIGNED UP FOR IT.
CLEARLY SOME FITNESS-MINDED ALIENS SEIZED CONTROL OF MY MIND.
So I drove to the Target and bought the DVD and decided that the very next day would be Day One.
OH MY MERCIFUL HEAVENS.
But in a delightfully unexpected turn of events, I found out that my friend Melanie had also committed to the challenge. I cannot overstate the importance of this discovery because HELLO, ACCOUNTABILITY, NICE TO SEE YOU. We also realized that we were both planning to set aside some time to “shred” in the afternoons, but we were sort of blase’ about it because the workout only lasts 20 minutes, and how hard could that be, right? I mean, I can do all sorts of things for 20 minutes: I can lift the fried chicken off of my plate and put it into my mouth, I can repeatedly mash the buttons on the TV remote, and I can also send and receive countless text messages while continually sipping an ice cold diet Coke.
You may be picking up on why the aliens seized control of my mind and convinced me to sign up for the challenge in the first place.
So on that fateful spring afternoon, when there was not another living soul in my house, I turned on the DVD and got ready to feel the burn. I even wore my brand new lavender leotard and hot pink leg warmers.
Oh, I kid because there was a time when I really did own a lavender leotard and hot pink leg warmers.
I will spare you all the details of my initial foray into shredding, but suffice to say that within the first five minutes of the workout I was thinking Not Nice Things about Jillian and her perky fitness compadres. It didn’t help that Anita – who was quickly becoming my new BFF since she was in charge of showing us the “modified” moves, aka The Moves For Those Of You Whose Primary Form Of Exercise Has Been Pointing Your Toes While Typing – had abs so defined that I thought at first they must surely be the creation of some subtle airbrushing, only to realize that OH, those abs are totally real, and MY WORD, they are spectacular.
However, I moved past my bitterness, soldiered through the workout (does it tell you something that I was actually relieved when it was time for the ab segments because that meant I got to LIE ON THE FLOOR?), and y’all, when those twenty minutes were over, my leg muscles were so exhausted that my very first thought was I’ll never walk normally again.
Sure enough, I spent the next forty-five minutes trying to figure out how I was going to walk without looking like some straight-from-the-boondocks contestant on America’s Next Top Model who is trying to impress Tyra with what she thinks is a fierce runway walk. The only way I could manage to keep my knees from locking up was to lift my the tops of my legs to a forty-five degree angle with my waist, then sort of kick out my leg until my foot hit the floor, and later, when Melanie and I were laughing until we cried about The Day Jillian Nearly Killed Us, I described my new walk as something along the lines of what you’d expect from a demented clydesdale.
In other words: it was very sexy and now.
And since I had absolutely no hope of being mobile for day two of The Shred since WHOA, NELLIE, LEGS WERE A-SMARTIN’, I figured that maybe I could track down some sort of beige marker and spend my twenty minutes watching Jillian tell me to WORK HARDER and PUNCH IT OUT while I drew ab muscles on my stomach in an attempt to replicate Anita’s rockin’ six-pack.
Certainly I was climbing to new heights of fitness!
Or at least I would have been.
If only I had been able to, you know, stand up.
So.
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When I was in college I thought it would be fun to sign up for racketball. When I went in to drop the class after failing and failing to every connect the ball to the racket the prof commented, “That’s too bad, it was fun watching you play.” I’m assuming he meant it because I was so bad at it and not in a creepy sort of way (it was a small Christian college so I’m inclined to believe the first!)
I thought I was all alone in the house so stuck in my DVD of Yoga For Beginners. In a fair replica of the Downward Dog position I heard my teenaged son’s choked voice behind me saying “That’s GROSS”! Ahemmmmmmmmmm someday, buddy, you’ll be 50 too!
In college I was a distance runner on the cross country and track teams. We had easy morning runs at like 5:30 (in the a.m.!) so my roommate and I would just roll out of bed, put our shoes on, and go. We’d sleep in our running shorts, etc., so as to have that extra 10 seconds of sleep the next morning.
As is not uncommon for most distance runners, neither one of us were especially blessed with much of a chest to speak of.
One morning we were about 3 miles into our run when my roommate (and friend) said, “Wow. I just realized I never put on a sports bra this morning”.
We still laugh about it 10 years later. (We still don’t really need sports bras, but we both pretend that they’re a necessary part of the workout ensemble.)
Exercising to Richard Simmons videos during college with my friends!
I’m pretty sure the sight of me running and swatting at deer flies has to be rather hilarious. I’m just thankful most people aren’t outside at 6am. :)
My funny memory also involves The Shred. I was literally yelling at the tv. I stayed with it for several days until “MawMaw’s” knees started bothering her and I chose walking over shredding. I love the description of your post Shred walk!
A long, long time ago, when I was in middle school, our health class had to divide into groups and make workout videos of our own! My group took the idea of the “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” videos and did our own twist, which we called “Sweatin’ to the Newsies.” Clever, I know. I would pay big money for a copy of that video today. I’m sure it would make me laugh so hard I’d burn as many calories as I would doing the Shred!
Demented clydesdale!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just spit my salad on the screen!
My sister had been going to Jazzercise and had lost about 40 lbs. One day, the instructor announced to the class. “I would like to congratulate Peggy. She has lost over 100 lbs.” My sister was really embarrased.
I tried the foil/make you sweat/feel like a baked potato exercise clothes.
Oh my..how do you ever clean those things???
My mom had bought one of those old school ‘sweating to the oldies’ tapes, and wanted me to start doing it with her. Well somebodyyyyyy (i’m not going to mention who) had a tad too many daquiris at dinner the night before and was extremely hungover.
imagine richard simmons (in sparkly spandex), my very perky mother, and me running to the bathroom. not cute :)
This is such a bad memory,I don’t know if I can tell it.Well…. YES,I can!
Okay,so I was going to Yoga classes and we always had the same good looking man teaching the class and the same teenage girls in the front row trying to flirt with him.I am grown and married so I stayed in the back row where all us unlimber people hide.Anyway,One of the girls was doing this frog like position which I never could get into but anyway, lets just say some air pushed it’s way out of her body.Okay, I also should mention it was in a big church so this sound echoed and traveled through the church.It was NOT a toot. The group tried to control the laughter but you could hear everyone fighting it.The teacher announced,it’s natural and no one should laugh but the poor girl was so embarrassed.I never saw that group of girls in the yoga class again.Now, I am going to hell just for telling this story!I feel guilty now but not guilty enough to delete this.
the best fitness related mishap I can remember, (because as uncoordinated as I am, I try to forget all that I have had), is the 3 months before my wedding and I was trying to make sure I was able to fit into the dress that I just had to have that might have been a little snug, I decided that I would be a bike rider and get all this great exercise while riding a bike, and let’s just say, one attempt and I decided that my feet were much better planted on the ground then suspended on pedals and the bike was no longer my friend….
when I was in high school, I took my babysitting money and got myself a thighmaster a la Suzanne Somers. I had high hopes. they weren’t realized…
Fitness funny? Nah, it’s just funny to see me in my bathing suit for my water aerobics class. I didn’t realize that an added benefit of this class is that no one can really see you jumping around under the water.
I also ran one of the Disney half marathons a few years ago. I was so excited to go to the Magic Kingdom the next day. I think we only mad it around half of the park because I could barely walk.
My beloved husband-to-be at the time really wanted me to work out with him. I was jazzed. We bought me a pair of weight lifting gloves and set to task. I was going to make that man proud of me.
Then he handed the weight bar to me. Just the bar. No weights.
“What? Aren’t you missing something?”
“The bar is heavy enough!”
He was right, but I was never able to admit that to him. I begged for some couple pound weights on either end so that I could actually say that I lifted weights instead of “I lifted a bar.” No go, though.
That was the one and only day I lifted with him. The gloves came in handy, though. I used one to keep from burning my hand with a blow pipe while blowing glass for a few years! Not all was lost! :)
A few years ago, when “yoga” was a new and amazing thing that no one in my town had heard of, a friend and I decided to pop on down to the YMCA and do us a yoga class. Well, it was all dim and new-age-musicy and very “zen”. We were coming along nicely, stretching and breathing and doing all sorts of yoga things. Then, we did the thing when you hold your knees in to your chest and roll back and forth to loosen up your back…and well, SOMEONE loosened up something else and let out the loudest, most obnoxious fart you’ve ever heard. Thank goodness, it wasn’t either of us – we just looked at each other and went all deer-in-the-headlights, and attepmted to keep from laughing. No one else in the room did ANYTHING…no giggles, no uncomfortable cough or anything and she and I were using every drop of self-control to not burst out laughing. That lasted all of about 7 seconds before we both leaped up, ran out and about busted a gut laughing in the hallway.
I have never, ever, returned to yoga.
Namaste.
This fitness related story has to do with my husband….not me. His mother lives on 10 acres in our small town,and she has an extremely LONG gravel driveway. At the time my husband and I were dating. We were supposed to be going to a wedding that evening. He called me and told me that he couldn’t go. I was a little surprised and asked why. He said that he decided to go for a “run” up and down the gravel driveway, and he had seriously twisted his ankle and couldn’t walk. His ankle was black and blue. He probably should have gone to the doctor, but he never did. His friends and I still LAUGH til this day when he says he needs to get in shape. We all say in unison….”just don’t go running down any gravel driveways”. It’s hilarious that eveyone knows about it, and we still laugh about it almost 15 years later;)
so it’s not fitness-fitness per se, but it’s from back in the day when i was in fact fit. the only period of my life when i was fit, as a matter of fact–when i was on dance team in high school.
two memories: 1) being in a competition kick routine, having to pee real bad, and having terrible bladder control. need i say more?
and 2) being in a competition kick routine, being the front point of a triangle formation, which just happened to be inches away from the judges’ table, having a stomach bug, and throwing up in my mouth and having to swallow it because hello? it’s a dance competition. and you can’t break the smile, ya know! :0)
The time I got a brain concussion from playing dodge ball back in the good ole’ physical education days.
When my husband and I were freshly married with no kids, he had a business trip that would have him gone over Valentine’s Day so we decided that I’d go with him so we wouldn’t miss our first married day of heart shaped candy. I went to the gym to work out while he was in meetings that first day and they had a fancy weight maching that was the equivalent of a thigh master (hello suzanne somers!) with adjustable weights. I tried it on the lowest weight setting an snarked at how easy it was. I bumped up the weight quite a bit and then decided that since it still wasn’t all that hard and my thighs were my least favorite part of me, I’d do a little extra work on them. After about twenty minutes of squeezing the fat off my inner thighs, I felt good enough to head back to the hotel. By the time I got there, I couldn’t walk without wincing. By the time my husband got home from his meeting, I was in tears. He went out and got some icy hot for my achy muscles and let me keep this family friendly for you. Icy Hot on your INNER thigh up near the top will cause a fire that rivals the flaming sun. When you get in the shower and put water on it to try to put out the fire that is buring you in places you ought not to burn…it will get worse. Let’s say our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple was not what one would expect.
I started running while doing summer missions in the Middle East. I decided to run a 4K there; how hard could that be, right? On race day, though, every sign and announcement was in Arabic and I was in the bathroom when they shot the starting gun! As the last runner to take off, minutes after the rest of the pack, instead of drawing cheers and encouragement from the spectators, they laughed and pointed! Fortunately my teammates had come to support me and I was able to laugh as I explained to them why I was in last place.
My friend Jen dozed off during Pilates Class and ‘woke up’ to find that she had drooled on her mat.
Indoor Obstacle Course. ‘Nuf said.
When I got my very first job out of college it was to work for Dell computers. They had just built two headquarters one for sales in Nashville(where I would work) and just outside of Nashville where the warehouse would be. I went for the physical I guess to show I wasn’t on any drugs. The nurse misunderstood when I said I lived outside Nashville and she gave me the physical for the people in the warehouse. So I had to run a mile, dead lift 50 lbs, and curl 30 lbs. Mind you I was wearing high heels, full makeup, and nice dress clothes. I did passed but not without the whole office coming into watch. When I was about to leave they realized all I needed to do was pee in a cup. But I got a workout in an unexpected place!
it happened to a friend… Training for a marathon in Italy, she was going on a ‘long run’ and thought she had a little gas. Oh no she didn’t! She went #3 on herself in the middle of the street. She ran into a mom & pop restaurant, butchered something in italian and ran to the restaurant to clean up. After 35 minutes, walked out to the curious looking couple and mumbled “ciao bella!” or something to the old lady and ran back home with wet shorts.
Makes me laugh every time she tells it.
I was at the YMCA and I was running on the treadmill. My Walkman (yes, this was before ipods)fell and I reached down to pick it up, which would have been fine had I TURNED OFF THE TREADMILL!! So, not only did my Walkman fall, but I followed quickly behind it. Everyone ran over to see if I needed help and I literally just ran out the door!!
Oh wow. Well in high school, approximately 10 years ago, my Aerobics class would sometimes go off campus to work out at the local gym (small town). One day I was walking (maybe sort of jogging?) on a treadmill sandwiched between a row of treadmills when I lost my footing, crashed sideways into the person next to me, who in turn crashed into the person next to them in a sort of dominoes effect, ending in several girls, myself included smashing into the wall. Still haven’t lived that one down
I hated walking into gym in junior high and seeing the TV in the locker room…that always meant Billy Blanks and Tae-Bo. Words do not exist to measure my negative feelings towards those days!
I can remember being 8 months pg and falling during a Jazzercise class. I was totally fine but the look of horror on everyone’s face was priceless! So embarrassing!
When I was younger, in loved to dance around to Sweatin’ to the Oldies!!! I had a blast, especially to the song, “Windy”. I was a weird kid. :)
i am dutch (and therefore uncoordinated) and yet i attempted to do “buns of steel”…
needless to say, i kept my buns of stay-puft marshmallow.
Ok, let’s talk about the latest rage….ZUMBA!!!! Now, let’s talk about this 55 year-old wanna be of good health. I get out of my car, at the health club, trip…flyyyyyy down the side walk, JUMP up, blood streaming down my torn knee, and walk(with a slight limp) like nothing has happened….go into the ZUMBA class, wipe off the little (OK LOT) of blood, and begin ZUMBBANNING…if that is only a word. Pretty funny, just thinking about it. I’ve not been back.
When I was in middle school I went into the gym with my dad and they asked if he’d like a towel for him and HIS WIFE. I was, hmmm, 13.
i tried this 30 day shred and it was awful! i mean i was about crying!!!
My first exercise experience was watching my mom do a Jane Fonda video — I vowed to never do one. I did try a Joan London video but the “chewy” hips was a little frightful.
Now, I’m just chubby.
Kathie Lee Gifford had a workout video that was my Mom’s…..in high school…I use to do that video every day after school….oh my! I can’t believe I actually loved it! lol!
When I was giving my aunt and uncle a tour of the college at graduation, I showed them the exercise room and told them “I came in here once with some friends to drink a milkshake when the snack bar was full and had no seats”. Needless to say- I am not big on exercise. (But somehow I did manage to make it through six years in the NAVY- still am not a big exercise fan though)
The fact that the way I kept really fit in high school was an old Kathy Smith workout video from 1984 (I graduated in 1999, for perspective). Oh, the hair and the outfits. Shameful. But at least I had a flat tummy and nice legs. Thankfully I did not have the hot-roller’ed bangs.
I, too, foolishly thought that The Shred would be oh, so simple! On the 3rd day, my 10-year-old daughter decided to do it with me. She very quickly become the “supervisor” and sat down on the couch. This is what I heard during the workout: “Momma why is your face so red?” “Momma why can’t you stretch as far as she can?” “Momma are you gonna quit breathing?”
You know those rubber band resitance thingies. Yeah, make sure you have it firmly under your foot before working out. I had a red mark on my face for a week.
In high school I played soccer, and by “played,” I mean that I was on the team because I tried out, but rarely saw the field. Regardless, I thought I was something special jogging to practice one afternoon. Our practice field happened to be right smack dab in the middle of all of the sports fields, and visible to much of the school. I jogged down the small hill leading to the field, stepped on one of my shoelaces stopping my feet dead, while the rest of my body propelled forward. I think the force with which I smacked the grass caused tidal waves in the school pool.
Let me start by saying that I have never ever been into fitness, but I have had a few unfortuate forays into the world of excersise. I have a couple sports-realted stories: Like the time I got the Sportsmanship Award when I played t-ball at age eight–I was the catcher–in t-ball–yes the catcher, and I received the award because every time I was hit by the ball I went back onto the field. Or there was the time that I played intra-mural softball in college and ran through 3rd base making my entire team have heart-attacks as they screamed at me to get back on base. What? The last time I played we could run through 1st and 3rd, ya know, in t-ball circa 1990. And when I gracefully flew off the back of a treadmill at the Sanderson Center at MSU–horrible moment! But the crown jewel of my fitness related fiascos was when My friend Chip and I decided to start working out together one winter. He was supposed to come pick me up at my parents’ house and I was impatiently waiting for him decked out in my new “workout girl” duds as we had dubbed them. So then the doorbell rang, I ran outside, saw I tall man standing with his back to me with a sweatshirt, pants and a tobogan on so I started very enthusastically running in place while shouting “WORK OUT GIRL! WORK OUT GIRL! WORK OUT GIRL!” at him. Then he turns around and he is an older, black man that had come to the door to ask if we needed our trees trimmed! I screamed and ran into the house where my Mom, sister and I rolled all over the floor in hysterics. The poor man, to his credit waited to ask about the trees before he bolted. I was humiliated! Excersise and fitness DO not get along!
One of my favorite stores in Maine is called The Laughing Cow! We usually stroll down the street going into pretty little shops and stop for ice cream on the way home. And that’s about the extent of my fitness-related experience!
My mishap…somewhere along the way I read that you or Melanie were embarking on this 30 day shred nonsense and actually hit my one-click button on Amazon caught up in the insanity of it all. Not only did I think unkind things about Jillian, but about you and Melanie as well for ever suggesting the insanity. Let me say I FAILED the shred miserably!
Mine is trying to do Jillian’s shred while my 3 kids are also trying. I’m hurting and exhausted and my kids are all “Why are you stopping Mama? This is sooooooooooo easy!” WHATEVER! She killed my arms and every other part of me!
I too, started the Shred last May. I lost over 70 lbs. When I Shred I must first go put on a feminine protection product, cause let’s just say the bladder of a mother that has birthed 4 children isn’t up to all the jumping jacks and butt kicks! The other funny thing is that my 2 girls (ages 5 & 3) would Shred when I was done. One with 2 lb weights and the other with soup cans. Oh does it make me chuckle!
“We must, we must, we must improve our bust.” My best friend and I must’ve done thousands of those reps. The only thing that moved me up to a B cup was gaining 50 lbs with my first pregnancy.
Let’s just say, after 2 kids I need to try these exercises again.
I remember one time getting kicked in the jaw when I was spotting a girl in school when she was doing a back handspring. Ouch! My jaw still cracks to this day. True story.
I was at an outdoor gathering and a friend decided to show us what Zoomba was all about. So, someone got a video on their phone and she started doing her moves. I took my phone and videoed her. I still use the threat of youtube/facebooking it. Muahahahahaha…
I don’t have a personal one but my sister’s best friend was walking on her elliptical and she flew off and a put a hole in the wall of her apartment.
Okay, last year my husband coerced me into a gym membership because it would only cost us $10/month to add me. I had not graced a gym since the 80’s (when I had a black unitard with Flashdance-type accessories), BUT I have been a faithful walker for MANY years. Therefore, I thought the workout the trainer constructed and walked me through would not be too bad. In fact, the workout itself was not too grueling; however, the next day, I literally could not move any part of my body without pain– as in, it hurt to sit on a potty. :-) Oh the perils of fitness.
I can think of countless videos where I leave not able to walk up the stairs to my bedroom. Good, but bad.
I was running faster than I should have been on my treadmill in our windowless basement. My four year old son thought it would be helpful to turn off the lights to “save ‘lectricity”…I flew off the back of the treadmill and landed against the wall! OUCH, luckily I was fine…and eventually able to laugh at it!
Plastic wraps the body, horrible memories- the price of fitness.
Well…a few years ago I went to Lifetime Fitness to sign up. I had just eaten dinner (Wendy’s drive thru) and wanted to throw my trash away. I thought they would have a trash can by the door but low and behold they did not. So, I had to ask the guy signing me up for the gym where to throw my fast food bags!! I joked with him about how I guessed I wouldn’t be seeing that kind of food again for awhile, etc. … and he didn’t laugh. Didn’t even crack a smile.
And then I decided skinny people (at least him) might have forgotten how to laugh.
I’m going to go with the time I needed to break on a very quickly moving treadmill so I put my feet on either side of it. When I was ready to return to my wogging (walk/jogging) I miscalculated and flung myself right off the back of that thing. It wasn’t really funny at the time, but I guess I can laugh at myself now.
taking a dance class when i was in high school, i had to kick a leg and travel across the floor. Trying to kick high, I kicked myself right over onto my backside in front of the whole class. I guess it was funnier for the others watching :)
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maybe the time I was working out at the gym and my husband called me to rush home because our 2 year old had stuffed a chocolate covered peanut up his nose.
The core with the exercise ball is brutal! The first time I did I was so sore. I had Bible study that night and my buttocks were so sore. I walked like I had a corn cob up you know where!
I have may embarrassing experiences that have to do with sports and fitness, but there is one that sticks out in my mind. I was playing sand volleyball a few years back. It was a chilly night so I was wearing pants (that obviously were not tied tight enough around my waist) and on my the down from blocking the ball, the cute guy across the net from me got his foot hooked on my pants and pulled them down. Talk about embarrassing! I never wore pants with out some form of shorts under them again.
You cracked me up with this:
WHOA, NELLIE, LEGS WERE A-SMARTIN’
LOL!!
Okay, this is SO embarrassing BUT I’m gonna tell it lol
It happened quite some years ago when I lost my 70 lbs..I was exercising alot and got bored with walking only..I decided to do some aerobics and various things from a dvd I had..well, one involved laying across a coffee table using it like a weight bench almost..I had no clue our table was that flimsy or I was that heavy but it didn’t take long and BAM..I was laying on the floor on top of a broken, flattened coffee table:( lol
thanks for the chance to win!
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I distinctly remember hiking down into our basement in the middle of trying to survive P90X with my husband to do “modified pull-ups” (aka WE DON’T HAVE A PULL-UP BAR IN OUR HOUSE) with bands around ceiling beams and ending up on our knees on a concrete floor because the bands did not have enough resistance. Not so great pull ups that way. :)
My sister and I tried out a “yoga” type class at our local rec center. The moves were so hilariously named and as we tried to move ourselves into these pretzel like poses it was all we could do to act “dignified” and not lose it in front of the class!
I have also done the 30 Day Shred and Anita was also my BFF! I did it for about 10 days in a row before getting bored. This is how my fitness goes! I get pumped about something and do really well for a few days or maybe weeks and then all of a sudden I flat line! Let’s just say I have a lot of work-out DVD’s and random equipment in my house!
Twenty five years ago I went to one of Richard Simmons’ health clubs in Dallas. Before we started the aerobics class, they would turn off the lights so no one would be embarrassed while working out! I thought it was really funny — working out in the dark . . .
In a spontaneous bout of post-partum fitness-mindedness, I decided I should get up and do exercises with Denise Austin on Lifetime. I didn’t take the time to put on an actual pair of shoes and decided it wouldn’t hurt anything to just do the routine barefoot. I proceeded to stub my toe on the edge of the big console t.v. and just about ripped the nail off of my big toe!
Gotta say, the Shred gets me too- when I describe the “day after,” to people, I always think about how painful to actually sit on the toilet seat!
I’m one of those vomiters. Pretty much, I work out until I hear my stomach scream out, “Release the Cracken.” Once the Cracken has been released, I know my workout is down.
I got my infant twins’ double stroller hopelessly stuck between the double doors on the way into the gym. It took 4 people besides myself in this little 5 foot space to get us all untangled. I tried to get their car seats out but just managed to get us even more jammed up. The babies were screaming and my two year old was weeping and I was already sweating which I decided constituted enough of a workout and as soon as I got unstuck I just kept on going right out the door to my trusty mini-van and home for a family nap.
It has to the be one time I went to a yoga class. It was my first time and also another woman’s (whom i did not know) first time. We chatted a bit before class and so we decided to put our mats next to each other for the class since we were both “newbies”. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever done yoga…but those moves and twists and turns and poses are NOT easy and require a lot of stretching, reaching, holding and grunting. This poor lady, my new yoga buddy, had a particularly rough time and also must have eaten an entire pot of beans right before class because with each pose she had an accompanied “flatulent noise”. At first, I thought I hadn’t heard what I heard…but after a while and the coincidental “sound” with each new move confirmed what was happening. Needeless to say, I didn’t return to the class. I didn’t want to be known as “farter yoga’s friend”…just couldn’t do it…
I went to a dance party class at the gym with my sweet neighbor. She is the cutest, happiest person I know but girlfriend has zero rhythm. Standing next to her it was next to impossible to resist giggling at her sweet moves. Fortunately, she is self aware and has a great sense of humor about her dance “skills”.
The first time I took a strength & resistance class, I had never done lunges before. The next day, I may have whimpered and/or cried each time I sat down (toilet included) and stood back up. Shortly after that, I ended up on crutches . . . for spraining my ankle on the bottom step of a flight of stairs. It was a little embarrassing not to have a better injury story.
My favorite workout move lately is lying on my back on the floor, with my legs bent in the air…supporting my 6 month old son! I “fly” him back and forth, much to his delight, while I, in turn, get in some great leg extensions and crunches. His extra 18 pounds makes it a GREAT workout :)
Forty years ago when I was in high school, a newly graduated PE teacher wanted to teach us modern dance. I never could walk and chew gum at the same time and had two left feet. Needless to say, I never had a career in modern dance!!!
I also watched and exercised with Richard Simmons when he had a TV show in the afternoon. I also tried the Scarsdale Diet at the same time. But first I had exercised with Jack LaLaine on morning TV. You all are too young to know him, but he is in his 90’s (or dead) now and is in better shape than I am!!!!
i fell off the tredmill while talking on my phone @ the gym.
Remember ‘Step Aerobics’? Well, I went with my mom once to her step class, fumbled over the assembly of those dumb steps…and then since I was already thoroughly nervous and shakey, proceeded to kick them across the length of the room when I tried to step up onto them. I was mortified, and never went again:)
My funny fitness story has to do with attempting jumping jacks (THE SHRED!) and forgetting that childbirth sometimes affects one’s ability to control their bladder. :-)
While I was at camp (many, many years ago!), I received the “Are we there yet award”, because that is all I ever said when we went hiking.
When I was about 10, my basketball wasn’t too good and our boss thought the team needed to get some exercise above our basketball practice. My coach enrolled me and my teammates in an aerobics class at a local gym. It was fun and all until a guy who went to my school showed up at the gym and came into our class. I was so embarassed. :)
falling off the step in a step aerobics class…right on my butt. it’s really only funny now that it’s years behind me.
I am 35 and I have a bad back, so my Dr encouraged me to try some water aerobics at the local Y, so it was lower impact. First day I arrive at the pool and EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON there was 80+. They thought I was in the wrong place. Turns out, they only offered senior water aerobics classes, LOL. They were kind enough to let me join them for the month long class, and those grannies were FIERCE in the water, it was hard to keep up!
Well, the first thing that pops into mind isn’t so much funny as AWKWARD! I ran cross country in high school and there was a guy on my team that must have been having a really hard time with the whole puberty BO thing. Either that or he was rebelling against the deodorant. We used to run in circles around a large field and some of us would run in opposite directions. I always held my breath when passing him because he smelled soooo bad! Poor guy!
The funniest memory was just a couple of months ago.. I love to run, and my husband HATES it! So, one evening after wk and school I asked him if he would walk the “dam”(it is a local place where we can run/walk 4 miles on a sidewalk)
Of course this meant take our 3 boys.. He said sounds fine, if we just walk. GREAT! We were off..
Ok, we started off great! He had the Jogger with tht 8yr old, I had a double stroller with a 3yr and 6yr old!! (side note we all know that a double stroller is FAR from light!) As we got into the first mile he kept asking for me to slow down this is a walk!! I simply said “a walk can still be a workout you know”. He replied “you are still walking way to fast”
Went to a local fitness club to try a new class with an ultra fit, workout crazy friend. As we were warming up, she mentioned that she had taken this class before several years ago. At about 20 minutes in & at the point that I was ready to quit, she again mentioned coming to the class before. This time she informed me that after she had completed the class she had to have someone come drive her home because her legs hurt too much to even press the gas pedal!! Ahh!!!!!
Ah, The 30 Day Shred! I, too, joined the torture last year. I emailed Melanie on what was needed. The weights? I already had five lb clunky weights that once belonged to my husband. Check. I can handle it, right?
I got the DVD and started the burn, I mean Shred. Day one: I thought I would literally die. Those two extra pounds did NOT help but to this day I still use those 5 lb weights when I do the “occasional” shred.
So back to Day One: Enter my daughter and son-in-law. How hard is it to do the shred in the first place? Seriously? Jump-n-jacks were challenging. I insisted on keeping up. And there they sat . . . mocking me. I was warned that some simple as using the bathroom would be a challenge after starting the shred. The warning turned out to be RIGHT! Twenty minutes of shred TRULY makes a difference. Let me just say that I am with on the sit-ups. My FAV part! Lying down.
I almost finished the 30 Day Shred that challenging season last June. For some reason 28 days in and I got sidetracked. since then, I am a sporadic shredder.
I wrote a blog post some time last June (’09) about Jillian’s torture. Those three levels, her ranting on and on about us wearing our old jeans or getting out the swimsuits. HOW DARE SHE!
I tell you with shame that I did not finish 30 days. But surely 28 counts for something? At least now I can use the bathroom with no trouble at all.
I married a runner and people always ask if I run. My response for 28 years has been, “Yes, I run… away!”
I’m going to go with the first time I tried Turbokick! I was so lost! I ended up just jumping around in the back of the room to keep my heart rate up!
I started doing 5K’s last year and at the end of my 2nd one, I threw up right after I crossed the finish line! Thankfully, not many people saw (or they just didn’t mention it) and I won 3rd place in my age group!
I laugh every Tuesday night when some friends and I gather to do a bellydance workout! We’re all 40+ and the noise of all those ankles, knees and hips popping with every move is hilarious :D.
This isn’t exactly fitness, but in college we had to take a general physical education class and then one other PE elective. I saw tumbling as an option and thought it would be fun. HA! One day, each of us had to attempt the following: run into a handstand (jumping over one of our classmates) and go from the handstand into a forward roll. I was terrified, but no one else seemed to have any trouble performing the feat. My turn. I run, I jump over my classmate into a handstand, my arms immediately give out, and I land directly on the top of my head and flop over. I couldn’t tell if the tears I was holding back were from the pain of almost breaking my neck or from the utter humiliation.
The day I fell off my bike, skinned both my hands, then had to go back to school and tell everyone who asked that I fell off my bike. (it was loose gravel). I got the usual jokes about taking off my training wheels. I was a senior in high school. EEK!
Hugs
Marie
I had a good friend who owns a gym train me and after the first workout, I could not lower myself onto the toilet or lift myself off. I still hate her.
My husband and I have been doing P90X for well almost 90 days now and I hate it but I enjoy it all at the same time. Well on the Kenpo day (kickboxing) I was a little, how do you say “emotional”. Adam corrected one of my moods and I was so ticked that I started punching much harder than necessary and kind of in his direction. He learned then and there to keep his comments to himself or I would use some of my new moves on him!
Ha–one time I was touring a gym and they announced they would be doing their spin class in so and so room. I thought “O i can handle that” SO walked in (got in a bike in the back) and introduced myself. BIG mistake she kept yelling me name out and bc I was in the back I could not get out! HORRIBLE!! I could not walk for DAYS!
I recently started taking yoga and we were doing the “eagle” pose. Ummm. Yeah. If you’re not strong in the balance department yet, you might want to refrain from this one because as I lifted my right foot over the left foot and attempted to twist it around my ankle while simultaneously cupping both arms under my chin (as if they were condensed wings), I fell over. Just fell over. Did I mention laughing out loud is frowned upon in yoga class?
funny? I can’t remember anything funny…just lots of memories of jiggly muscles, burning abs, and lots of sweat! I’m still working on consistency :)
Just this week (not sure I can laugh about it yet) I was with my husband on our morning walk. I was walking along and a noise at a neighbors house caught my attention. I turned to look back and next thing I know I am on my rear end strattled the asphalt and grass on the side of the road. My husband is standing over me wondering what just happened. I stand up to realize I have a huge asphalt burn on the outside of my calf. Blood dripping everywhere, all we can do is laugh. My husband continually reminds me to look straight ahead on our way back home. Graceful, not. Clumsy, very!
Pretty much anytime I’m on the Wii Fit I make a fool out of myself. Mainly because I have zero balance so I actually fall off the Wii Fit board almost everytime I’m working out on it!
the funniest thing to me about my exercise program is the fact that i absolutely cannot walk on the treadmill without holding on. i always lose my balance and am terrified of falling off of it. !!! so, i do the ellipticle now.. !! :)
jill in wichita