After church this morning the little man and I hopped in the car and drove to Starkville to see the Bulldogs play Auburn. I planned this little outing on the spur of the moment after State beat Ole Miss last Thursday night, and I figured it would be a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon. D didn’t really care about going because basketball is his least favorite sport (AND SOMEHOW WE’VE MANAGED TO STAY MARRIED FOR OVER 13 YEARS), so Alex and I went on a super-quick mama-son road trip. I was tickled to pieces about spending the afternoon at State with my young’un because 1) basketball and 2) MY WORD, BASKETBALL.
On the way to Starkville Alex decided that he wanted to play Angry Birds on my iPod, so I called Melanie to distract myself from the Angry Birds music that EMBEDS ITSELF IN MY BRAIN. Seriously. After I hear it for five minutes I start to mimic the motions of a marionette, and after ten minutes I’m ready to throw the iPod out the window because OH SWEET MERCY AT THAT MUSIC. Anyway, Mel and I desperately needed to discuss Saturday night’s Miss America pageant. We’d enjoyed a lively commentary on Twitter the night before, but there comes a time when you need to discuss a topic beyond the 140 character limit.
I have to say that I was thrilled to see Miss America back on a major network. It should be. And Chris Harrison is the perfect host – totally earnest but completely in on the schtick of the whole thing, too. He gets it. Because the thing about Miss America is that you can’t overthink it – you just have to embrace it. I’ve said for years that the pageant needs to quit worrying about proving how modern it is and just let some girls twirl some fire batons, already. When I was growing up Miss America wasn’t just a pageant – it was an event – but for the last few years it seems like the pageant has been trying to prove its relevance, and it’s lost some of its appeal in the process.
I guess the bottom line is that when it comes the Miss America pageant, there are only, in my opinion, a few must-haves: articulate women, entertaining talents and evening gowns that have been bedazzled to the point that they weigh anywhere from 10 to 15 pounds.
I would also appreciate a couple of musical numbers. You know, something like this.
Or maybe even this.
Apparently the 1989 Miss America pageant was co-sponsored by Leslie Lucks dresses and Paul Mitchell Freeze & Shine.
The more I’ve thought about it today, the more I’ve decided that there were parts of last night’s pageant that were closer to the days of yore than what we’ve seen in recent years. Granted, there was no shortage of cheesy, but oh my goodness that’s part of the charm. I don’t like all the tricky business of having a top 12 but only 10 people do their talents and then wait! Only five of you will be interviewed! Overall, though, there were some definite old-school moments. And I just think that’s how Miss America should be. There was a ventriloquist who yodeled, for heaven’s sake. In fact, I couldn’t help but hark back to one of my all-time favorite pageant moments from my teenage years.
Yes. I know. And you’re welcome.
Mel and I eventually wrapped up our post-pageant analysis, and before I knew it Alex and I were walking into the coliseum. It wasn’t lost on me that the Black Crowes were playing as we made our way to our seats – it was like 1991 all over again except for the fact that I wasn’t wearing a really big bow in my hair and also my bangs no longer have their own zip code. But we did see Bully when we were on the way to meet EK, and that made a certain seven year-old very happy indeed.
Have I ever told y’all that I am fairly terrified of mascots?
Well, I am fairly terrified of mascots.
I attribute this fear to my lifelong distrust of clowns.
But I digress.
We were so glad that it worked out for us to sit by EK and her little man during the game, and OH, how we cheered. State was ahead by at least 15 points for most of the game, so the boys on the bench got lots of playing time. It was so fun to yell for them. Alex, like his daddy, is completely cut and dried when it comes to matters of competition – he’s not going to half-way cheer for anybody, and if you’re the opposing team, well, you fall from his good graces for the duration of the game. When the game’s over, everybody can be buddies again, but until then, NO MERCY. Anyway, at one point in the second half an Auburn player fouled Dee Bost, the Bulldogs’ point guard, and my child pointed his finger straight at that Auburn player, leaned forward in his seat and yelled, “DO NOT MESS WITH THE MIGHTY DEE BOST!”
And I was so proud.
So I guess the bottom line is that my weekend consisted of Miss America, church, and SEC basketball. I believe that’s what the sociologists refer to as the Southern trifecta. And the fact that I saw Miss Arkansas yodel? Well, we might just be dealing with the Southern quadfecta.
Which may or may not be a word.
But if it isn’t, it totally should be.
Sounds like my weekend except I was in Tn. watching College Day come to town and watched my Vols beat Vandy. It was a good day in Orange country. For a change.
Miss America 2011 will not soon be forgotten because of 2 things for me: Ms. Arkansas and Melanie’s comment on Twitter about her talent performance AND the contestant who when asked if she had made it to the talent comp. what she would have done said, “I would have tap danced to Dolly Parton’s song, 9 to 5. As Melanie put it, America was robbed.
It was a great weekend in the South. ;)
Lord have mercy, I miss the South.
Can’t beat the South for entertainment!
I thought the pageant felt a little bit more like the old days too. My daughter and I were texting back and forth and as soon as Miss Arkansas walked out with those dummies we each, at the exact same moment, texted ‘uh oh’ to one another.
Have a nice week!
I hate that I missed the pageant. Sounds like a wonderful weekend to me!
Wow, 1986 Kathie Lee. That’s amazing.
I wathced your and Melanie’s twitter conversation Saturday night. Y’all were KILLIN’ me. Hilarious. This single gal was having a big ole’ time with you from her recliner.
Also, I hate clowns, too. I’ve decided I don’t like it any time someone is in “character” around me. I feel it gives them license to do things that a normal person wouldn’t do. Freaks me out just thinking about what they might try.
HA!!! Love it!!!! “My bangs no longer have a zip codeâ€â€¦ hysterical!!! :)
I used to LOVE the Miss America pageant and have not watched in recent years and was completely unaware that there were no longer any huge musical numbers and such. How sad!
However, I did enjoy the little videos you posted. And I think I really had forgotten just how large and in charge our hair was in 1989. Or our shoulders, for that matter.
Ah, memories! That particular Miss Louisiana was a special guest in my hometown at the annual Catfish Festival that year! Quite the little talent! I enjoyed the pageant (we only watched it because my hubby didn’t realize there was a football game on!) but it’s not as much fun as watching it with a bunch of girls! (He couldn’t believe I could find something to criticize in almost every one of those perfect specimens of young womanhood…he SO doesn’t get the point!) My late grandmother (who was a lot of things, but beautiful was not one of them) was a champ! “Look at those TEETH!” “Who told her RED was her color?” So fun…
Thank you for this
!This is what I love about the South ….
Thank you so much for sharing these videos! I had forgotten how much fun it is to say “Kaye Lani Rae Rafko” over and over again. And someday I’ll tell you the story of when Carla Haag hit me in the head with a microphone.
I meant to add that I loved seeing all the old, um, former Miss Americas in the pageant on Saturday. That’s when I started saying Kaye Lani Rae Rafko Kaye Lani Rae Rafko Kay Lani Rae Rafko…
Your posts almost always make me laugh and they really do liven up my day and I thank you for that :). I totally agree with you about the Miss America pageant and had actually totally given up on watching it … ever! Sounds like maybe they are getting back on track.
One thing I do miss about football halftime shows, pageants etc is the lack of twirling. Man alive, and if there was fire… well just hold the door. It was especially dramatic because they would turn out the lights, and call out the fire trucks to be waiting on the side lines in case some one became a blaze. With all of the aqua net and masses of hair, I am surprised this did not happen.
Good times Sophie.
Hi! I enjoy your blog so much. I’ve never commented before. I was at MSU from 1992-1996. Were you in a sorority (not that it matters … just wondering)? I live in Tyler, TX now, but I am originally from Jackson.
I’m a fairly new reader, but I must say, I think we are soul sisters! I LOVE Miss America…yes, even the cheesiness! It’s just an American tradition! Love those video clips you posted….I may or may not have had one of those dresses with the big shoulder pads and peplum, as well as some big hair! You know where you held the sides out and sprayed with hairspray to make “wings”? Yep, that was me! Loving your blog and all it’s Southerness!
I hate clowns and mascots as well. I’m not OK with any kind of mask. Once at my old job, the CFO’s wife came in on St. Patrick’s Day dressed as a leprechaun in a full-on rented suit, where the hat was so enormous that it fit her body down to just below her chest (so as to lower the leprechaun’s head for shortness). I don’t know why she did this, but I almost had a panic attack.
With the Lord as my witness, I will say now that I miss shoulder pads. And big hair. And perms. There, I think that’s it!
About the time that Ravern hit the third 3 point shot, following Dee and Riley in the first half, I was seriously wishing I was at The Hump for that game! Is that not one of the greatest places in the world to be??!!
You are a hoot! The Miss America videos rock! And I loved the 1989 opener – I am sure I wore one of those Leslie Lucks dresses myself, complete with big hair and even bigger earrings!
I love reading your blog. It keeps me in stitches. I found you through the Pioneer Woman’s site. I live just a hop, skip, and a jump from Starkville myself. I bleed maroon and white with the best of them. I know you and your son had a blast at the Hump! Go State!
I missed the pageant (doggone it) because we were heading home from Tallahassee after watching FSU beat NC State in basketball. The Seminoles had beaten Duke (#1 DUKE!) just a few days prior. ACC basketball is where it’s at!
You crack me up. And I remember seeing that yodeling Miss America. Good times.
Oh my gosh…I couldn’t bear to even look at that horrid video from 1988. I have a serious fear of ventriloquist dummies..I don’t like clowns either, but if you left me in a room with one of those one of us wouldn’t make it out in one piece.
OH. MY. WORRRD.
first, can you imagine putting ‘miss america dancer’ on your resume? or, worse, reading someone’s resume which says that and struggling with trying not to laugh hysterically and squeeling and hugging them? (this is the over-thinking part, isn’t it?)
the yodeling ventriloquist is perhaps my favorite pageant ‘talent’ of all time.
oh…how my sisters and i used to stay up late watching the miss america pageant from my parents bed. this before they all became porn stars or drug addicts, i mean.
those were the good ol’ days.
good times.
and, please. let’s not even talk about Our Host Chris Harrison. don’t you wonder what his private life is like? who is wife is? what their kids are like? i bet they sit up in bed at night laughing at all the things his job(s) entails.
(evidently everything mah-jor in my life happens in bed.)
thanks for this, boomama. love.
xo
OH! and, clowns?
TER. RI. FIED.
xo
Well, in all honesty, I too would like me a little fire baton’in thrown in. I did think the pickins were a bit slim this year and my 9 year old male child agreed! Maybe next year they will call me for advice…I gotta lot to share!
Yet one more reason I love my husband: he is youngest of 5 and the only boy, so he knows how to watch a pageant. We were talking about the lack of batons as well, but the ventriloquist–that was a magnificent throwback. I could not have been happier unless the “friends” started twirling batons themselves.
And as a Yankee–the show belongs in AC–what’s Miss A without a morning after dip in the ocean? Or “show us your shoes” parade? But otherwise, I liked the back-to-basics feel of this show–though they could have put “There She Is” before Taio Cruz (and we are big Dy-no-mite fans in this house). SO mad I didn’t think to watch the tweetfest during the show. Talk about mentally stuck in 1989!
Miss America was much better this year but I was dissapointed that there not any more Southern women in the top. I long for the days when it was Misses Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, Tennessee, Arkansas, Texas and Florida for sure with a token member from a few other states. And yes, more batons! In high school I went to a Jr. Miss pagaent where the winners talent was to read a Robert Frost poem with a piano solo that she had pre-recorded in the background. Good stuff that! And half time shows! I went to USM where we had the Dixie Darlings which was my favorite part of the half time show!
p.s. I am terrified of clowns. We must be long lost sisters with different parents.
Hilarious! I pretty much laughed out loud through your whole post. My husband is sitting next to me (watching basketball btw) thinking I am totally crazy, I’m sure. :)
Thanks for the laughs! ;)
Well. There went many minutes of my life I will never get back. Kathy Lee before her name was Gifford and before plastic surgery altered her forever. A ventriloquist who yodeled. Big hair. A plethora of the best of the 1980’s. Oh, those were the days.
Ahhh. Miss America. There’s nothing more fun that finding flaws with, to be honest, nearly perfect people – at least they appear that way on my tv screen. Like you, I thought the pageant made a slight turn in the right direction back toward the glory days.
Couple of my own comments regarding the talent selections:
1. As soon as I saw Miss Arkansas’ dummies, “Well, she’s out.”
2. “Was she a ventriloquist in the Miss Arkansas pageant? What in the world was her competition?”
3. “Miss Delaware really could have done that dance routine in her socks. I don’t think she needed those toe shoes. Bless her, Lord.”
Hate I mised the Twitter banter. Would have enjoyed every tweet!
Kathy
OH MY WORD….I about laughed til I cried watching that Miss America opening number with the sound off. Sound is off because my kids are sleeping in the next room and I dare not make a peep. Great overly done everything from the facial expressions to dance moves to the clothes. Whew, I needed that.
I was actually at the very next Miss America pageant the year after that video was made. I was 11 and a friend of our family’s was Miss Georgia. She made Top Ten which back then you stayed in the competition until the very end if you made Top Ten. Very cool experience for a tweenage girl.