So I’m sitting here watching The Bachelorette, and I figure this is as good a time as any to jot down a few of my initial observations. The only reason I feel remotely safe sticking my toes into the Bachelorette end of the bloggy pool is because I’m trusting Emily to KEEP IT CLASSY, SISTER.
Remember, as I have mentioned before, I am a person who believed for several years that the whole point of the fantasy suites was so the couples could have an opportunity to talk and visit and maybe share some chips and queso without the cameras around.
All righty. My thoughts. I will share them.
– Initially I saw the spelling of Kalon’s name and thought it rhymed with “talon.” This detail probably isn’t interesting to, well, anyone, but it made me laugh.
– A singer/songwriter? That’s an awkward Bachelorette serenade waiting to happen. Also, the singer/songwriter used the words “quintessence,” “disparate,” “facets,” and “converge” within seconds of each other. He must hang out with Tarzan from the most recent season of Survivor.
– Charlie has a bulldog. Therefore, Charlie is my favorite.
– I would really, really like to know what color lip gloss Emily is wearing at the meet and greet. It’s sort of a plum, but it’s not too purple and not too pink. Very pretty.
– I like Sean’s checked shirt / striped tie combo. Well played.
– I’m gonna go ahead and say that things aren’t going to work out with the fitness model. Nor are they going to work out with Loud Guy.
– Chris makes a very kind first impression…I like him.
– “I’m a high school biology teacher, but I’m here to have chemistry with you.” – OH NO. NOOOOO. That line was a terrible miscalculation. If he makes it through after that, the only explanation is the Lord’s favor.
– A meet and greet gimmick is almost always a bad call. Because even if you get a rose, you’ve still lost your dignity. AND you have to keep up with your skateboard and/or jam box and/or glass slipper and/or granny wig all night long. That has to be annoying.
– Ryan the pro sports trainer seems darlin’.
– I’m now at the 55 minute mark, and I believe it has been well-established by the guys that Emily is stunning. Gorgeous. Amazing. And etc.
– Emily is now handing out roses, and the first two guys she picked were Chris and Ryan. I think Emily and I might be on the same wavelength. Or at least we would be if weren’t complete strangers.
– I’m so relieved that she gave Travis a rose, mainly because he’s a Mississippi State boy. That being said, IT’S TIME TO PUT UP THE EGG.
– There weren’t really any big surprises with the guys she picked. I was a little surprised about Kalon because he came across as a little flashy (might not be what he’s really like at all), and I think she made a good decision in not offering a rose to fitness model guy because KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON, SON.
What did y’all think? Was it as dramatical and amazing and shocking and amazing as you imagined it would be?
I don’t watch it, but I am REALLY looking forward to your analysis, should you continue to offer it up. :) You crack me up!!
Arie…I’m calling it! Kalon/Talon…ew.
love that you refer to him as kalon/talon….you really can’t say kalon without saying talon. for the rest of the season, kalon/talon it is.
and I’m also with you…ewwwwww.
arie all the way, baby!!!!
I am in agreement about the guy taking his shirt off. Please. Glad he is gone and done!
I have never seen more than 5 cumulative minutes of this show or The Bachelor in my life, but I had to comment because I am laughing so hard at your fantasy suite comment. Your innocence is so charming, but also, what they actually do in there? EW.
I thought the same thing about Kalon / Talon. My favorite quote of the night was when Emily said, “I believe an engagement is a really special thing. Something you should only share with the person you’re going to marry.” So that’s how it works?!! Ha! Looking forward to a good season!
I thought the same thing about the fantasy suites for the longest time. Seriously, I’m too old to be this naive. I finally had to admit the truth to myself on Jillian’s season and the whole fiasco with Ed. But I still laugh when I think of that crazy volcano shot. All I could think when I saw it was, “Oh no they di’int!!”
sMy DVR only let me record two things at a time, and Smash along with Hawaii 5-o won out. I figured I could catch this online afterwards.
WRONG!
For the love of Pete (or Emily, as it were) ABC should put the full episode up already. Viewers in Hawaii have seen it by now. Come ON!
So.
I have no thoughts as of yet. But I plan on hunting this sucker down.
Well, I wasn’t all that big of a fan of Emily……she reminds me of the high school girl who all the boys were falling all over….you know???…..and since I wasn’t a fan of that girl in high school, some of those feelings come out with Emily…sorry…..but I did start watching it last night…..I’m excited we are starting out in Charlotte….nice change of pace……the guys for the most part seemed a cut above what there usually is….Emily seemed very sweet…..not sure if that is going to wear on me or not though……..I’ve read spoilers of who she supposedly picks and that his family name, at least, was not unknown to her……but whatever….this show really needs another one to stick…ha, ha…..good luck Emily!!!!
Well my DVR wouldn’t tape both the bachelorette and smash and let H watch basketball so looks like I’ll be watching online today!!
Having seen none of it, but laughing at your synopsis, I must say that if the singer/songwriter guy uses those words in everyday conversation, I bet he has a hard time writing words to songs, because those words you used to describe his chatter – they would be pretty hard to rhyme.
That’s my two cents.
i loved the fact that there are two alejandro/alessandro’s – what are the odds??
green-shirt guy – yuck!!!!!
love charlie, love arie, love ryan.
Wow, I needed this lighthearted post much more than I realized this morning. LOVED IT.
So I watched last night and I think we could probably whittle down to 5..Charlie, Ryan, Arie, Sean and Chris? The intros were down right painful. One guy that kind of surprised me is Jef. I don’t know what to make with that attitude he has but he seems to be legit. Maybe? Or he really is as ichy and this is a really good ploy for his business.
I just loved seeing my town Charlotte on display! For no other reason, I will watch for that. The only thing about Emily driving me crazy is the “Thank you so much”. I love good manners but oh my word. That’s all she said.
For the previews, it looks like some major drama and I can’t get that scene out of my head where she told a guy to get the F out. Yikes! She’s got some umph behind all those thank yous. And I am SO excited to see Dolly Parton on this season. I’ve always thought she reminded me of her.
Could someone make that girl a sandwich? Could she be thinner? Green shirt guy-um, ewwww.
Emily is so darn likable that I want her to find love on a TV show. I want her to twirl little Rickie around that beach and then ride off in the sunset with Mr. Right. My bet is on the Georgia guy.
Yes it was dramatical, yet there were not nearly enough Me and Emily’s or enough pensive glances and phrases that start with, “When I started this journey …..”
I admire your ability to get past the first 90 seconds…I accidentally changed the channel to this program once ( insert mamaw voice) and I threw up in my mouth a little…I guess I am just old fashioned, but I cannot bear to watch. I guess I missed the boat on this show! I love your comment’s though!! You are so funny!
i live in charlotte and not too keen on emily’s need for the limelight…she has always seemed to be a celebrity hound…rumor has it here, she chased ricky h. till she got pregnant,so as far as classing it up, i have my doubts…i will just read you every week to find out if she discovers true love in front to zillions of people
Hard to imagine Emily had to chase Ricky or any man for that matter…she’s gorgeous. All of the men this season are crazy over her and half of them from Ashley’s season wished the bachelorette was Emily. I love a love story and I will probably always watch the bachelor/bachelorette shows. Looking forward to your comments, Boo.
I had hoped that more than just two of the guys would approach Emily with a compliment that wasn’t over the top. It got a bit nauseating. I love Charlie, too. Lerone, was it? DUDE, you’re too big of a guy to have such a sissy dog. It looks all wrong.
Here’s to hoping with you that Emily keeps it classy.
Love your commentary…LOL!! can’t wait to watch it…good ‘ole DVR!
Ok explain me this…why one earth is she doing this??? I thought being a mom and around the tv drama was too much…please now she is the hardworking single mom on a reality show.
I don’t think so!
A very insightful view of the show… and you made me smile! thanks. I might even watch it to see how you did.
I’m still trying to figure out whether “luxury brand consultant” or “Colombian mushroom farmer” is a less legitimate occupational title covering for some other sort of activity. Bless their hearts.
My first choice, so far, is Ryan from Augusta, GA and Jef with one J. We’ll see! (I wasn’t going to watch but got suckered in.) Very sad to heat that Chris Harrison is getting a divorce…
I agree, dignity is important. I could never have done any of those things, especially the guy with the ostrich egg. Holy Hannah dude!
On the other hand I think she sent home some good guys, ones she didn’t have time to get to know. I think giving out roses and sending people home on the first night is a very bad mistake. Are you listening Chris?
The guy that was 41 and had the 6 kids? Adorable. I would have snapped him up in a minute. But yes, he’s a bit too old for her and that’s a lot of kids. But I am older and wiser than she.
I wasn’t impressed with Kalon or his helicopter, he reminds me of some of the other misfits on previous shows. Too much, Kalon. I wanted him to go home immediately!
You did better than I on the names. And Emily impressed me with her memory. I am sure the night is longer, much longer than we actually see so maybe she did get to visit with each one. But it sounded like she did not. Some of them were complaining and they have every right to do so. Cute guys! wowsers! But really do any of them have an actual job? What is a luxury dealer? (Kalon).
Looking forward to your analysis.
By the way, I am not totally impressed with Emily. She doesn’t seem real to me. Fancy house, no job that I know of and just a pretty face. Hopefully she grows on me but I didn’t like her for Brad either.
Hugs from Minnesota
Marie
Kalon is way over the top for me. He requires too much attention. Dancer boy with the boom box would have sent me running the other direction. Who does that? The guy with the ostrich egg made me think of the old episode of Little House on the Prairie when they caught the young boy in the chicken coop sucking on an egg. Odd thought. I know. It is too soon for me to choose one guy, but if I had to it would be the pro athlete that seems good with kids. I commend all of them for having the nerve to go on the show because you wouldn’t catch me on it for anything.
Girl. We ended up watching that night and not waiting for hulu. I even almost blogged about it. Almost. I have never seen, nor heard, such pick up lines. They were embarrassingly hilarious.
We like the Nashville guy and the guy with the kid that wrote Emily a letter. And egg guy seems nice, too. But I agree…put down the egg. You’ve made your point. Also, the race car driver seemed nice and it was mighty good of him to let her know early…
And yes, she is beautiful!
I love so much about Ryan! But he must exterminate that creature that’s taken up residence on his head. For the love.
Also. Nate? Beautiful. Like stunning.
I can only watch that show for about three consecutive minutes…but I totally love your take on it.
I know you must be busy but how’s about a little sunshine from Boomama…? We miss ya…
Don’t watch the show, but did see an article about Kalon in today’s Houston Chronicle:
http://www.chron.com/life/article/Houston-s-Kalon-McMahon-might-be-this-season-s-3569655.php