Today I put on some Sassy Pants that I got a couple of years ago. I had forgotten about them until I cleaned out my closet recently and rediscovered them, and oh, I could not wait until the first cool breeze hit this part of the country so that I could don said pants and be funky fresh for fall.
Now when I initially got the pants, they fit okay, but I knew they’d fit better if I lost about ten pounds. I planned to get right on that weight loss project and clearly could lose ten pounds in the span of mere days if I just set my mind to it.
Clearly.
Ahem.
A-HEM.
And two years later, minus approximately zero extra poundage, I found that I could not resist the siren call of the Sassy Pants when I got dressed today. The fact that they only fit okay seemed perfectly acceptable in light of the Sheer Cuteness Factor, a factor that outweighs just about any element in the fashion equation, with the exception of uncomfortable shoes, which I can’t even start talking about now or we’ll be here until next Tuesday.
Because here’s how cute the pants are: they have this wild, colorful print on the front of the legs, and the back of the legs is solid brown, except for the wild print on the back pockets. And I will NOT be showing you a picture the back pockets, lest you run screaming from the computer at the sight of my ample posterior (frankly, it would be too much for any individual to bear, and I’m just not putting you through that because I care deeply about you and your mental well-being).
Anyway, the point (OH, there’s a POINT?) is that Sassy Pants are adorable and comfortable. When I’m standing up.
But when I sit down? After about five minutes? They get a little, um, restrictive. I’ve found myself saying “WHEW” a whole lot today, then shifting around, trying to find a more comfortable sitting position. I’ve also found myself standing for long periods of time for no good reason other than to keep my blood circulating properly (according to the “experts,” “circulation” is a fairly critical component in order to “breathe” and “live,” but I beg to differ since I’ve spent a good portion of the day with Considerable Numbness in the Waistband Area).
However, I’m nothing if not determined, and I am resolved to finish my daily obligations (yes, even choir practice) in the Sassy Pants.
Which is becoming increasingly problematic since I am, at this very moment, sitting and typing this post with the waistband of my Sassy Pants rolled down past my stomach.
Oh yes MA’AM.
LOOKING GOOD!
Think they’ll mind at choir?
I think it could be a Hot Trend for fall, don’t you?
I’ve had my share of oh-so-cute clothing that required a suck-in here or there (or everywhere)
The things we will suffer through for “cute-ness”
The dress I wore for my bridal shower was a perfect example. I looked cute as long as I was standing up. But as soon as I sat down I looked like I was in the running for hoochie-mama of the year. Slit that went to “here” suddenly went waaaaay up to HERE…
Memo to self: Always sit down when trying on clothes for purchasing – they tend to fit waaaay differently.
Too funny. As I was sitting here reading this I reached down are “adjusted” the waistband of my jeans. Yeah. This needs to become the new look. Soon.
I have stopped wearing uncomfortable clothing. comfort is more important to me than style.
I salute your determination in attaining SASSY! mama status.
That’s hysterical. My motto is “Beauty is pain.” In your case, “Sassiness is pain.”
Wish I had some Sassy Pants! But I would want mine to not make me say Whew all day!
My sister and I were just discussing the perils of wearing clothing that causes us to resemble human sausages.
Those sassy pants hangin’ in my closet make me more than just sassy…they make me exhausted from all the stomach-sucking and then suddenly I’m not sassy at all…I’m just a little bit cranky.
What, no sassy picture? You should post one; especially since you will probably never wear them again.
I totally understand. I have several “standing only” outfits…mostly dresses that cause my stomach to leap from the elastic security of my underwear or hose. It makes getting to the event quite troublesome.
I was just discussing with my sister about my “standing room only” jeans that need to be retired – until after the 10 pounds are lost.
Just wear a big shirt tonight and no one will notice. :)
Maybe with the sassy pants you will turn soprano!!!
I have to admit that I often can’t wait to get home from work so that I can breathe normally. As a matter of fact, (TMI alert) I’m sitting here now with my oh-so-fashionable slacks unbuttoned. Fashionably, of course.
The last time I got me some Sassy Pants, I celebrated by throwing out ALL of my Stretchy Pants, to make room for my new Sassy Pants. Then I found out I was pregnant. Defeated, I had to go through all those black trash bags filled for the thrift store to retrieve the Strechy Pants. I’m afraid of the Sassy Pants now.
LOL, been there, done that. What’s embarrassing is those new stretch twills – ugh, they leave stretched marks in the pants; it’s almost gross. But hey, I just went back to WW and recently got into some things I thought were history so hang onto those Sassy Pants girl! Let them (and your inability to breathe normally) motivate you! Then go home and put on something comfortable!
my totally cute and finally long enough jeans (I have very long legs) tend to roll down in just the same manner. I absolutely refuse to resort to the evil elastic waist though. Keep smiling and long live the sassy pants.
What? Sucking in and rolling down waistbands isn’t fashionable? Oh, the horror! Off to the closet to find something else to wear . . . ;)
Just make sure at choir practice you unbuckle them so you can use that diaphragm properly! We wouldn’t want you to pass out now. :)
Ok. funny. again, made me laugh….
“snug” sassy pants topped with tire rolls above is all the rage where I’m living. I am ah-mazed at what some ladies will sqeeze into. But to be really styling here you have to hide your belt with your belly roll. OH YEAH! That’s hot!
It’s not the look/fit that matters, its the size of your pants!
– sad to say, I am such a frump. I have no sassy pants, just fantisy pants (one day perhaps my fit will come!) Which can’t actually get ON but remain in my closet anyway.
you really should have posted a picture of the pants. on a hanger perhaps. i just can’t get a vision of them.
The diaphragm opens works much better if you are standing up to sing. So, in this case, the sassy pants are actually making you a better choir member. ;>)
Oh come on, at least show us the sassy pants, really! :)
Um…I have a few “sassy pants” like this too. Even a few “not so sassy pants” that fit OK when I’m standing up, holding my tummy in and not breathing. Clearly, only a week of working out minus the frappicinno should have fixed the problem, but those combined things never happened! I’m right there with ya!
ummm, I am sad to say, I so completely can identify with your Sassy self…..rolls are becoming all the rage around here, much to my chagrin. I must defeat them, but age & gravity really work hard to overcome. They are powerful forces with which to reckon. Perhaps that’s why those wide elastic band machine things that shook you from here to Michigan were implemented. Shake it baby, shake it. Those that didn’t really need them, didn’t really shake anyway. Thanks for the laugh…by the way, have you contacted Ms. Editor of Oh so Southern mag yet???????????????
i truly haven’t laughed that hard in sooooooo long!!! BECAUSE – i so know exactly what you are talking about!! Gosh – loved reading that!!! I’m up @ 15 lbs…so “those words”that’s my life everyday lately! I’m MISERABLE!!!