This past Sunday night in Walmart, Alex and I were waiting at the deli counter for some chicken tenders, because OH YES MA’AM do I ever provide some quality nutritional sustenance for my offspring. Alex was chattering away about how he wanted chicken and a donut, and the girl behind the counter said, “Is he your only one?” I didn’t understand the reason for the question, but I told her that yes, he was, and she said, “That’s why he’s telling you what he wants. I bet he’s spoiled.”
D walked up right at the end of her sentence, and he looked at me, then looked at the girl behind the counter, and he said, “Well, I hope he’s not…we really work hard at being consistent with him.”
And then the girl replied, “Well, you’re the daddy – that’s probably why you think that. But I bet his mama over there spoils him to death. You can tell.”
Clearly the woman had a point, because, after all, I did WANT TO BUY SOME CHICKEN TENDERS, which is oft considered a prime indicator on the Spoiled Child Index in most academic circles. And certainly the fact that Alex was making requests about what he wanted was Indicator #2, because as we all know, three year olds rarely make their wants or desires known to their mamas.
I guess he’s just rotten without a hope for a cure.
But I really do think that the next time a grocery store stranger offers me a Life Lesson about the fact that we only have one child right now, I’m going to loudly announce that the possibility of being pregnant again isn’t looking good for me because my uterus just fell out over in the produce department.
That ought to stop the cart traffic on aisle six in its tracks.
Or you could mention that you and your DH were going home to work on your child deficit RIGHT NOW. You might even start in the car on the way home. That might stop her in her tracks. Truly, the very fact that your little Alex even KNOWS what a donut is, indicates that CPS should be contacted without delay. Honestly, can’t some people keep their opinions to themselves unless solicited – like by posting a blog?
hee hee
:-)
Laughing Hysterically!!!!!!!!!!!
I can’t wait for Sarah to comment on this one. Boy does she have some “someone needs to mind their own dad-gum business when it comes to other people’s kids” stories.
If you actually say that you have to promise to audio blog it.
You already know my thoughts on this subject and yes, I will be stealing the uterus line next time someone asks. :)
I really like Mobo suggestion, or telling her you were up all night last night working on your “deficit” =)) Tooooo funny.
Okay, I’ve got six and my 3yo has no problem telling me(or anybody else, for that matter!) what she does and does not want. Wonder what the child-rearing genius behind the Walmart counter would tell me I’m doing wrong?
Wow, that actually makes me wonder how her childhood was. Makes me think of that old saying, “Children are to be seen, not heard.” That saying always made me mad.
Well, I think in the interest of civility and good taste — I’ll hold my first intended comment.
Let’s just say mombo said it, well, more tactfully and family rated than I would have.
Maybe it’s because it’s rutting season around here and I’m sick of watching the deer, well- as Nike says – Just Do It.
Frankly, I’ll never walk through the Procuce Dept again unscathed.
hehe
I would call her something mean, but since this is your blog I won’t. But she is mean.
Another reason to love Wal*Mart right now.
Grrrrr.
Well, since you like, ASKED for my advice, I think I’d just go ahead and send Alex to juvey and reserve him a bed at the Home For Hopelessly Spoiled Teenagers. Because as we ALL know, spoiled brats ALWAYS, without exception, grow up into adolescents who commit crimes against All Nature.
They do. It says that somewhere. Really. ;-)
I have had comments like that, too. Mine is an only child. AND- I am an only child. So it is a double insult to me. I tell them-“I was an only child and I turned out just fine.” :>)
don’t even get me started?!
I am SOOOOO over unwanted comments from strangers. I am constantly amazed at the things complete strangers say…like the day I man told me he’d shoot himself if he had triplets IN FRONT OF MY KIDS. Is it any wonder the Bible offers so many verses about taming the tongue?
Oh yes, you just gotta love (okay, hate) all the unsolicited comments and advice and incredible “insight” that people offer. Especially when they have no clue whatsoever about you or your circumstances.
Since Logan was born when Camden was 7.5, I got years of “only child comments,” starting with this beauty: “That’s the most horrible and selfish thing you could do to a child” (making him an only child). Yeah, okay, thanks for that. And I suppose…oh, I don’t know… neglect, abuse, feeding him only chocolate and Laffy Taffy until his teeth fall out, would be, what? A close second?
Unfortunately, the comments haven’t stopped now that I’m no longer doing that horribly selfish thing (Camden was just fine – thriving, even – as an only child by the way; there is nothing wrong with having an only)… Not long ago I got, “Oh you shouldn’t have waited so long to have another. They’re going to hate each other.” I just smile and move away from the offender. But I’m liking your idea better. :)
(This is a hot topic with me… but I’ll try to restrain myself and end my comment right here. :) )
The ladies before me pretty much expressed everything I had in mind.
I’m in shock . . .really, shock. Does she have a 3 year old?!?!?!
Besides, having your own opinion and being able to express it in a proper maner is a GOOD THING, and a proper milestone to celebrate. A good thing.
Why do people… strangers… anybody who doesn’t matter… insist on making stupid comments? I’ve come to the realization that this is just how it is, but COME ON people, give me a break. Frustrating.
Clearly I spoil my child because he walks around with a phamphlet, from a toy he got last month, and asks for every darn thing in it. Every hour of every day. He’s got chicken fingers beat. ;)
Yup – that oughta do it!
Oh, are chicken fingers and donuts bad for you? My 3 boys must be spoiled too! LOL.
I wish that ya-hoo behind the counter could read (if she CAN read–my bad, but she was SO rude and unprofessional) about that “spoiled” little boy in yesterday’s post. You know, the one who is little Sidney’s good friend. Sheesh. Rude people, are well, RUDE! D was very gracious to her, but being the mature Christian woman I apparently am, I’m SO wishing you had told her what was on YOUR mind! : )
People never cease to amaze me with their thoughtless comments.
Once an elderly man nearly bit my head off because Joshua (7months) was “still” sucking on a pacifier! Some people just have alot of trouble keeping their opinions to themselves. Oh, well.
Wow.
Reminds me of the time my former MIL had the nerve to refer to her own granddaughter, MY only child, as spoiled – and in front of her. (hateful old bat) My then 3 year old piped up quite nicely and said, “I am NOT spoiled. I am CHERISHED!”. After I stopped gasping for air from laughing my guts out, I asked her where she had heard that. She just shrugged her little shoulders and said, “Well, it’s TRUE.” I never did find out where she heard that word or its use but I loved it!
She is now 21 and yes, she IS spoiled. But I still cherish her.
BTW, it would have been most uncomfortable if that Wal Mart nut job had said that to me. I would have had to bore her with the details of how, sadly, I was not able to bring any more little spoiled donut-eating monsters into the world after my One was born. Maybe she would have discovered that TACT is a verb…and she should learn to practice it.
It’s a common misconception that Wal-Mart deli counter experience satisfies the basic social worker licensing requirements. Surely she was trained to recognize the symptoms of Spoiled Child Syndrome (such as asking for chicken and a donut) and is required to act immediately. But failing to follow protocol by confronting the parents rather than announcing the “Code Alex” over the PA system? Clearly out of line.
Don’t we all want a free side of family counseling from the Wal-Mart deli?
I know several spoiled only children and many more spoiled children of more than one child in the family. Most people might consider me to be spoiled.
Bet she wouldn’t be so glib with her advice if she knew she was being poked fun at on the internet :)
Ugh. I can’t believe some people have the audacity to make comments like that.
Yep, sounds like those chicken tenders were a give-away to your obvious lack of discipline…;)
Last week, after telling me that the chicken tenders might be a “little hard”, the cordial Walmart deli worker told me that I had beautiful eyes.
So I bought an extra pound of them.
You may want to heed her free advice, Sister. I’ve been enlightened many times (while in the check-out line) by Walmart cashiers. :)
xo,
I LOVED the time a nearly-toothless cashier at Wal-Mart reminded me that it was October, and my barefooted child in the cart needed socks. I explained to her that in Texas, October is equal to July in the rest of the country, and he probably wouldn’t die.
I also wanted to leave her a pamphlet on dental hygiene but thought that might be tacky:)
Maybe you could print out this post and the comments and “accidentally” leave them on the counter for her?? ;)
I’m amazed at the gall of some people!
I would have went off on her politely though. Don’t let people judge you like that Boomama, that is ridiculous that she would even say that to you. That is just wrong.
oh, I second the suggestion that you print out the post and comments and leave it for her!!!
I’ve know children who behave rotten, who are not only children..so I think her running hypothesis is faulty.
and I would have loved to, had I been in a similiar situation, answer back teary eyed that I grieved every day over his being an only child, but after the dozen miscarriages, and his only sister dying young, we were not able to have any more.
I would have loved to, but I probably couldn’t carry off such a tall tale, but wouldn’t the stunned/horrified/stricken- hopefully suddenly aware of her judgemental actions look on her face been worth it??
I’m usually too stunned in such situations to say anything. Good for hubby for speaking up.
and I don’t understand how anyone could mistake happy confident chatter for being spoiled! How blessed to be a little one and know that your parents care about what you are thinking, and how much you would really like a donut.
Jenny in Ca
My daddy always said there is NOTHING wrong with being SPOILED as long as you are not ROTTEN about it. How sad that she didn’t have a parent who spoiled her.
Thankfully we have a heavenly Father who loves to spoil us! “And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
What a wonderful mother who teaches her child to ask for what he wants … he won’t be afraid to ask His heavenly Father!
First time to post a comment. I wanted you to know that I come here when stressed and just love getting refreshed and a good belly laugh.
She’s obviously never had a three-year-old! Or any child.
Two things:
1. Thanks for the laugh!
2. We have been ttc for almost two years and recently a coworker (not an idot complete stranger) said: “Well your life isn’t so bad. At least you don’t lie awake at night worrying about getting raped. If you look at things that way, maybe you will get pregnant.” Hmmm. I’ll have to consult my dr. on that one!
From the sheer volume of comments, I think you hit a nerve with a lot of people in bloggland! Also, ironic after yesterdays post which shows that “spoiled” as he is Alex has a heart of gold.
I am so tired of ugly comments from people that have no clue! I’ve been getting comments for having so many kids since we were pregnant with number 3! People will come right out and ask if you don’t know what birth control is! They’ll say I’m crazy right in front of my children, etc. They almost always ask if I’m “done” now after each child. Or “Don’t you know what causes that?”
We decided that we just had to have a sense of humor about it all. When people see us walk in a restaurant with 5+ kids they freak that they are going to be miserable seated next to us, but then we get them over at our table complimenting us that they forgot that they were sitting next to a table with so many kids! (oh the people with 2 kids who ask me how I do it because their two are HORRID in the restaurant)
“Sure, birth control is for ugly people.” “No, these aren’t all ours, the rest of them are at home.” “Yes, we know what causes that, but we just LOVE Pizza!” or “Yes, and we’re very, very good at it!” (that one shuts everyone up!) “I hope we’re not done yet!” “Nope, we’re just starting!”
I don’t know how you can come up with something humorous to calling your child spoiled. I think thats one of those things that calls for complete shock. “I can’t believe you just said that, and right in front of my child??? Wow, you must have been really spoiled to think you can just say whatever pops into your little head no matter how insulting and judgemental and WRONG it is.”
God bless the mommas that spoil their kids with love!
qtpies7
http://www.qtpies7.blogspot.com
Ok sweetie, I’m old and wise. Here’s what I have to say ont he subject.
First of all, we tend to treat an only child as we would a more mature child because they generally talk and act older than their age. They are learning from their parents and not from their babytalking and acting siblings.
Second of all, what is wrong with allowing your child to voice his opinion? From the time they are born we begin teaching them to be independent of us. One of the very first things we teach them is to talk. They must be taught to voice their opinion, the younger the better.
(I’m not talking about disrespectful remarks to their elders) but to say what they would like and not like. That is called having a brain and using it.
Thirdly, what on earth gives the ‘girl’ behind the counter a right to tell you how to raise your child?
How many does she have?
Does the store hire educated child psychologists to advise the parents?
Absolutely not. She was totally out of line. I would have told her so.
oh my!
Great, well then both of my kids are beyond hope! They ask for EVERYTHING. And I often, no, usually, say no.
I’m incensed for you. The nerve. CLEARLY her mama did a much better job than you’re doing … what with her sterling social skills so evident. Geez Louise.
Some people and their social skills, Ugh! What business is it of hers that you only have one child and he’s making requests on what he wants to eat. I’ve got two of them and it doesn’t make a difference here… they will always voice their opinions! Oh well, maybe she doesn’t have kids yet.
As an only child myself, I’ve had to put up with comments about me being “spoiled” my whole life. Some people are just so rude! I don’t know if I was spoiled or not, but I know for a fact I was very loved. : )
I definitely will not be picking up anything I see laying around on the floor in a produce department from now on.
You are way nicer than me, Boo Mama. Honestly, I would have asked her point blank, “What on earth makes you think I need or want your advice? And do you actually think I’m going to rethink the way I’m raising my child because of something you said to me? Do I know you?” See, you’re way way nicer than me. So’s D.
The other side of the coin…I have four and rude people come up and say “OH MY GOODNESS! Are those all YOURS?”
Like I’m POPPIN’ OUT A KID every 2 seconds!?!? WOW!
The things some people say. I think you (and hubby) handled it very gracefully. :D