Yesterday I confronted two startling realizations:
1) Christmas is two weeks away.
2) I have not done a single bit of shopping. Zilch. Zero. Nada.
So today I decided to do something about #2, which really isn’t uncommon here at BM: The Blawg (Jeana, that was for you).
I started off at Steinmart (or “Steinmarts,” if you’re Southern, and especially if you’re my mother-in-law), and I found a lovely, affordable, soft-as-fur throw for D’s grandmother, who got out of the hospital yesterday after an extended stay due to a broken hip.
D had a chance to visit his grandmother in the hospital this past weekend, and Sissie wanted to hear all about moving and the new house and Alex’s Christmas list. Ever since she’s been in the hospital she closes her eyes when you’re talking, and she nods impatiently, like isn’t terribly interested and wishes on some level that you’d hush up already. Then she says, “WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU, SUGAR!” However, we know that this behavior has nothing to do with her health and everything to do with the fact that she is ticked off about being in the hospital when, as an active 96 year old woman, she would much rather be at her house sweeping the driveway or raking leaves.
So D did most of the talking at the hospital, and Sissie didn’t seem to be doing much listening. But then D’s mother called the next morning and said, “Now I found Criss Cross Crash in the Toys R Us supplement and there’s a little Hot Wheels toy listed beneath it and I just thought, well, that Alex might like the other Hot Wheels toy, too, since he wants Criss Cross Crash, doesn’t he want Criss Cross Crash?”
D said, “Um, HOW IN THE WORLD did you know that Alex wants Criss Cross Crash for Christmas?”
“Well, Sissie told me!” she replied.
Because Sissie obviously can’t hear a thing, you see.
I’m not sure why I just told you that whole story, but let’s all just smile and pretend that it’s relevant.
ANYWAY, the fact that Martha was making a list and checking it twice reminded me that I hadn’t made a list at all, much less checked it. I knew that with only 13 shopping days left, I had better get on the ball.
Which is what led me to Steinmarts (see? that whole Sissie sidenote was totally part of my narrative structure, and by “structure,” of course, I mean “randomness”). And then to Ross. And Ross is where I saw a shot glass tic tac toe set, and that is why I am writing this post.
(Oh praise the Lord, you’re thinking. We may be getting close to a point.)
I spent the better part of thirty minutes trying to figure out who in the world would buy a shot glass tic tac toe set, wondering if someone really has an Aunt Irma or Uncle Earl who loves nothing more than a stout shot or nine of bourbon, followed by a lively round of X’s and O’s. Then I wondered if drinking shots while playing tic tac toe is some secret national pasttime to which I’ve never been introduced, and if that’s the case I’m truly sorry because that sounds like One Klassy Pasttime indeed. But finally I just decided that the existence of a shot glass tic tac toe set is an act of pure desperation on the part of merchants around the world, a sign that they have reached the pinnacle of creating Items That Will Eventually Wind Up In A Garage Sale.
So as a public service to you, I’m going to make a little list of my own, a list that I’m calling Gifts That Rock Even Though They Do Not Include Shot Glasses.
It’s an exclusive line of gifts, as I’m sure you can tell.
But seriously – these are some of my favorite things to give friends – especially when a gift under $20 is the order of the day. Which it almost always is.
Final disclaimer: I have seen some wonderful homemade gift ideas on different blogs this year (GiBee‘s and Jennifer‘s and Barb‘s come to mind), but I’m just not a crafty girl, y’all. I’m also not patient enough to do the detail work that’s required on those thoughtful handmade gifts, and it’s really in the best interest of my family that I stay far, far away from anything involving craftiness. Because I would probably take some of those special crafty scissors and start to cut my hair in a wavy pattern as a result of crafty delirium. I’m just sayin’.
Also: I’ve never written a longer post. I can’t believe how long it has taken me to get to the list. I do apologize.
This Bath & Body Works candle is single-handedly responsible for the sale of our former home. I’m sure of it. It smells divine, costs less than $20 (there’s even a smaller $9.50 version), and it lasts a sweet forever. They were on sale for half price a couple of weeks ago, and I lost my ever-livin’ mind just a little bit, to the point that D was somewhat disturbed when he saw the Bath & Body Works transaction on the bank statement. But they are yummy and worth every penny.
Now I know that some people prefer the expensive salon brands, but I don’t think you can beat this nail polish, which you can find at any drug store, grocery store, dollar store or super store. Three bottles of polish wrapped in a fun bag make a great gift for your favorite babysitter or teacher, and what makes this stuff so great is that it dries in a flash. The pink color in the picture is my favorite, by the way.
There are few smells as pleasant as eucalyptus and spearmint, and this Bath & Body Works soap is like a little touch of the spa every single time you wash your hands. It’s only $12 for a big bottle, and I even use it in the tub sometimes because it’s such a relaxing smell. If there’s a Sunday School teacher or a Mother’s Day Out teacher who deserves a little pampering after a wild year with some crazy kids, this is a perfect gift. Every product in this fragrance line is wonderful.
If there’s someone in your life who gets untold joy from a clean kitchen and great-smelling cleaning products, then this counter spray is a must-give. I know that I can err on the side of OCD and all, but the thought of some Mrs. Meyers products with a pack of those makes my heart go all a-twitter. Because I am completely normal.
Sister and I ooh’d and aah’d over these adorable Pier 1 ornaments when she was here last weekend. And now they’re on sale! They would make great hostess gifts (speaking of hostess gifts, Sister found fabric wine bags at Dollar Tree for ONE DOLLAR, though in the interest of keeping all items down to the affordable one dollar price point, Dollar Tree doesn’t do the online shopping option and therefore I cannot provide a link). ANYHOO, I’m confident that some of you crafty types could figure out how to make similar ornaments at home, but if I were to attempt such a feat my kitchen would forever be adorned with shredded bits of hot pink and red tinsel that I scattered about the kitchen before the men in the white coats arrived.
Did I mention that I’m not crafty?
And so, lo these many hours later, I must bring this post to a close. Since I first began typing, Alex has hit puberty and D has grown a long, scraggly beard.
See y’all tomorrow.
Do you think I’ve done any shopping? Of course not. I never do any until after my kids get out of school. Because then I’ll have all the free time in the world, you know!!! Seriously, I think my biggest problem is not knowing what to get people b/c I hate to just give gifts that people do not want or need. And then there is the little issue of time. There just never seems to be enough of it…
But Merry Christmas anyway! It’ll be great b/c all this stuff we worry about doesn’t matter a bit!
Love you and can’t wait to see pictures of your house!
Chuckling. You’re a hoot. And thanks for the great gift ideas!
Still tempting me with the Bath and Body Works. I flat out refuse to go in there until I can buy the good soap!!!
Maybe I will do the online shopping. Hmmm.
Well, maybe it’s nail polish this year :)
Thanks for the “ROCKIN” list.
Darn- have to run. I ran out of astronaut food. I’m starved now.
:)
Oh- did I mention? I’ve asked John for a Swank makeover for Christmas? since I just LOVE LOVE LOVE what you did.
I need me some SWANK-iness. I do.
Now- off to pine for soap some more.
ROFL! Much needed laughter! And I’m with you – TOTALLY – about the B&BW candle!
I have not smelled the Bath and Body Works candle–but Eucalyptus Spearmint is my absolute FAVE massage oil. I also like the Cool Citrus Basil soap for a nice clean scent, and the Peony for something more girly. . .but let me tell ya–nothin’ says love to a school teacher like myself than a gift card to either Sonic or Chik Fil A. WAHOOO!!!!
Loved this post. I have to admit that I prefer the “Tahitian Vanilla” B&BW candle, but I won’t hold that against you – the sandalwood one is nice too.
That was sooo funny and great ideas for the gifts! Glad you shared them and I would like atleast one of each thank you very much!!!
Hey Boomama!
I spent the day shopping in your town Saturday. We spent half the day in Homewood shopping in some fantastic little shops. I got the rest of my kid presents at a toy store there. Then we finished at the Summit. I love a shopping day in Birmingham! I’m sure local people like yourself stay away from shops like these that out of town people drive an half and a half to come to.
I can’t wait to try the candle you suggested. They also have a good one for Christmas called frosted cranberry. I’ve gotten so many compliments on it.
I am LUSTING after that counter spray. I am! ’cause I’m one of THOSE people.
Well, this is just a great list. I swear, you and I are in the same “get-the-shopping-done” boat and these are seriously some great ideas. I love B&BW – my shower shelves (yes, plural) are full of my favorite things from there. If they ever get really smart and come out with a line of shower spa products that smell like Gain, I’m their girl.
And can I just say, you may not be the type to sit down at a table with $432 worth of craft-making necessities in front of you, but you are one crafty lady. OK, that didn’t come out right. At. All. But what I mean is, look at your blog. It’s so cute and it’s always changing and I think that’s very, very crafty.
You have a style and it always shows through. And you have a big heart and that always shows through, too. This gift list is so sweet. And it’s actually doable.
So thank you, Boo Mama.
My boss and a coworker went out and bought gifts for our department Christmas party last week. And wouldn’t you know it! One item won during a bingo game was…
SHOT GLASS CHECKERS! They were hoping that the 21 year old guy out of the group would win it. :D He didn’t. He won the hand held vacuum cleaner. LOL
I think Shot Glass Checkers is something you hold on to for your next “White Elephant” party! :D
Like Sister, like Sister. :)
oooh … I like you.
I think I’ll come back.
And, you know, if I lived in the US? I’d probably find your gift suggestions just that much more helpful.
(but thanks, though. i’m not ungrateful.)
If I wake up Christmas morning and don’t see tic tac toe with shot glasses on my tree, it just won’t be Christmas.
I meant under my tree. You’d think I’ve already been playing.
This was like that awesome issue of “In Style” magazine’s “Best Of/Must Have” with all the cool recommendations! I’ll be making my list…..
You are a classic!
I loved the list!
I know what you’re saying about not being crafty – I went through several Christmas stockings last year trying to get my daughter’s name to look right and finally bought some new ones and had my hubby do it!! My sister is an art education major – obviously I didn’t inherit those genes!
That throw you mentioned? I bought two. One for my MIL and one for my mom. I almost slept with it the first night–they are sooo soft. I could easily revert back to my blankie days with that one!
I am doing my shopping this weekend…
So, unfortunately, by the time I get there I’m sure all of the shot glass tic tac toes will be sold out…
bummer…
Blessings,
Karla
I’m surprised you weren’t aware of how international those shotglass tic-tac-toe sets are! We live in N Africa in a MUSLIM country no less, and our one import store carries them. No home is complete without them, right? Only they drink shots of tea. At least that’s what they say…
And don’t feel bad–normal people haven’t started shopping yet, only super-organized freaks. It’s still days and days till Christmas.
Great gift ideas that go with my motto: when in doubt, get something that smells good.
Who doesn’t like lotions/bath stuff?
You are one funny lady. I enjoy reading your posts. You have become one of my new favorites. Girlfriend, I’m from Texas and I’m telling you we could hang good together. Keep it up you brighten my whole day.
blessings, Kelly
What a hoot! All Southern women, I’m convinced, have a Martha or Sissie, (both if they’re lucky) in their life.
Steinmarts! The tears are just rolling down my cheeks…thanks!
This post made perfect sense to me. My husband thinks a story should just include the facts. I tell him that, no, the story is in the details. That is what MAKES the story. He calls those “southern stories.” He especially loves the ones my mom tells, the ones you think have ended until she says, “But, ANYWAY…”
Thanks for the link! I truly feel like I have hit the big time.
One gift that I have not linked up to my Gift Exchange list is a great general what to get for one who has everything and/or an old person who doesn’t need anything–last year we got all the grandparents those squishy pillows with a massager/vibrator inside them. I got them from JC Penney. They had been the hit of a gift exchange, so I took the idea for the old folks, and I think that they liked them.
You’re too funny! Unfortunately, the only one of those products I can get is the nail polish and the sponges. We do have a “Body Shop”. I wonder if they’ll have something similar to that candle. That sounds wonderful!
Christmas shopping? What’s that? ‘Cause if it doesn’t involve lugging three kids, two diaper bags, a stroller, and a baby carrier around, I don’t think I’ll be partaking.
Maybe I’ll just shop online:)
And thank you for the list–I do plan on making a few purchases off of it:)