As a child, I would come thisclose to rolling my eyes whenever my daddy turned the radio dial to the country station that had a Southern Gospel Hour on Sunday mornings.

WHO LISTENS TO THIS STUFF, I wondered.

Well, as it turns out: me.

And as an adult, I can’t hear a Southern gospel song without singing along – and as D and Sister will attest, whether or not I know the words is of very little consequence. I will just hum harmony if need be. Or, in some cases, “harmony,” because I tend to be a smidge off-key.

These days poor Alex is the one subjected to the Southern Gospel Hour on Sunday mornings, and – I KID YOU NOT – he puts those little gospel-esque harmonic tags at the end of everything he sings (“ALLLL THROUGH THE TOOOOOOOOOO-OWN” or, better yet, “Next time won’t you sing with SIIIIIING WIIIIIIIIIITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEE”).

Clearly, I have ruined him.

So anyway, it’s a gorgeous day and God is good and I just felt like hearing a little Southern gospel music this morning. Thought I’d share.

Happy Thursday!

Today I put on some Sassy Pants that I got a couple of years ago. I had forgotten about them until I cleaned out my closet recently and rediscovered them, and oh, I could not wait until the first cool breeze hit this part of the country so that I could don said pants and be funky fresh for fall.

Now when I initially got the pants, they fit okay, but I knew they’d fit better if I lost about ten pounds. I planned to get right on that weight loss project and clearly could lose ten pounds in the span of mere days if I just set my mind to it.

Clearly.

Ahem.

A-HEM.

And two years later, minus approximately zero extra poundage, I found that I could not resist the siren call of the Sassy Pants when I got dressed today. The fact that they only fit okay seemed perfectly acceptable in light of the Sheer Cuteness Factor, a factor that outweighs just about any element in the fashion equation, with the exception of uncomfortable shoes, which I can’t even start talking about now or we’ll be here until next Tuesday.

Because here’s how cute the pants are: they have this wild, colorful print on the front of the legs, and the back of the legs is solid brown, except for the wild print on the back pockets. And I will NOT be showing you a picture the back pockets, lest you run screaming from the computer at the sight of my ample posterior (frankly, it would be too much for any individual to bear, and I’m just not putting you through that because I care deeply about you and your mental well-being).

Anyway, the point (OH, there’s a POINT?) is that Sassy Pants are adorable and comfortable. When I’m standing up.

But when I sit down? After about five minutes? They get a little, um, restrictive. I’ve found myself saying “WHEW” a whole lot today, then shifting around, trying to find a more comfortable sitting position. I’ve also found myself standing for long periods of time for no good reason other than to keep my blood circulating properly (according to the “experts,” “circulation” is a fairly critical component in order to “breathe” and “live,” but I beg to differ since I’ve spent a good portion of the day with Considerable Numbness in the Waistband Area).

However, I’m nothing if not determined, and I am resolved to finish my daily obligations (yes, even choir practice) in the Sassy Pants.

Which is becoming increasingly problematic since I am, at this very moment, sitting and typing this post with the waistband of my Sassy Pants rolled down past my stomach.

Oh yes MA’AM.

LOOKING GOOD!

Think they’ll mind at choir?

I think it could be a Hot Trend for fall, don’t you?

Lauren at Created for HIS Glory is hosting a very special bloggy tour on October 1st.

You can read all the details here.

Mark your calendars!

A few days ago I saw some girls who were obviously in the middle of a terribly important discussion. They were about fourteen, totally into their conversation except for the occasional necessity of reading a text message or replying to one. I couldn’t help but think about when I was their age, and really, I shudder a little bit when I remember the sheer awkwardness that was the hallmark of my early teenage years. The braces, the frizzy hair, the utter lack of confidence around those alien creatures called boys – just about all of it makes me cringe.

Of course, like so many teenage girls, I thought that I knew it all, thought that I was covered in coolness, but in retrospect I was completely naïve and overly earnest and annoyingly self-absorbed. Actually, unbeknownst to me, I was a nerdy version of a drama queen: even though I was well-aware of all the gossip and “scandal” at our junior high, I only stayed involved in that stuff for about five minutes before I retreated into my Piles Of Books. Honestly, who needed junior high drama when the sophisticated, self-assured girls in the Sweet Valley High novels were dealing with, like, MA-JOR stuff?

I mean, GAH!

I can’t tell you how many 1980-something nights I sat in my bedroom with my hair in sponge curlers, incessantly wiping my face with a cotton ball soaked in Sea Breeze, talking on my yellow Princess-style push-button phone while adjusting the rubber bands on my braces, putting one cassette after another into my jam box, thinking that clearly no one had ever understood The Plight Of The Teenage Heart better than Mr. Phil Collins. I mean, who doesn’t remember this classic?

“You called me from the room in your hotel
All full of romance for someone that you met
And telling me how sorry you were, leaving so soon
And that you miss me sometimes when you’re alone in your room
Do I feel lonely too?

You have no right to ask me how I feel
You have no right to speak to me so kind
We can’t go on just holding on to time
Now that we’re living separate lives.”

Never you mind that I’d never had a boyfriend. I still knew deep in my heart of hearts the agony, the heart-wrenching grief of true love.

And I knew those things, of course, because of John Hughes movies.

In fact, reading those lyrics makes me want to watch “Night Tracks” on WTBS out of Atlanta and record all the best videos (Dexy’s Midnight Runners singing “Come On, Eileen,” anyone?) on a VCR with its remote attached by a wire.

While tinkering with MS-DOS until the amber letters on the monitor make my eyes cross.

While drinking Pepsi Free.

Okay.

Did anybody else see “Oprah” yesterday?

Because Oprah and Gayle set out on a cross country trip in a Chevrolet, and I laughed out loud and clapped my hands while I watched. I really think that Gayle and Emma Kate are somehow related, so similar are their personalities (and p.s. – Gayle sings just like my friend Tracey in that she is a bit, um, tonally, um, challenged, which tickles me to no end).

Anyway, as a result of today’s show, I’ve decided that I want to take a cross country car trip with someone next year – and I really could name fifteen people off the top of my head that I would go with IN A HEARTBEAT, with my husband being at the tippy-top of that list. But if one of the conditions of my imaginary voyage is that I can’t take a family member – well, then, my college friends go straight to the starting line-up. I can’t think of a single one who wouldn’t be an absolute blast.

And it probably won’t surprise you, what with your understanding of my OCD tendencies, to learn that I’ve been thinking about my potential cross country route. I’d love to fly to New York, rent a car, and then make my way to California, but I think I’d probably just back out of my driveway and head west. It wouldn’t be all-the-way-across-country, per se, but it would be a start. Plus, driving from here to California would take me straight through Texas, which would give me a chance to meet some of my most favorite blogging buddies.

I think it’s a pretty fun idea, don’t you?

And just out of curiosity – if you were driving cross country, who would you take with you if you couldn’t take family? And what would be the soundtrack for your trip? Or would you, like Oprah, rather ride in silence? (in case you were wondering, the thought of riding in silence doesn’t just make me twitch – it makes me KICK. Incessantly.)

Good times, noodle salad.*

Can’t wait to read your comments.

*Anybody know the movie?

This post of Antique Mommy’s CRACKED ME UP.

And if you’re not reading her blog regularly, I have but one question for you:

WHY?

:-)

Enjoy.