So Bev wants to know if my mother-in-law reads my blog.

To which I say: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahaha.

Or in other words: no.

But I will say this: I would love it if Martha AND Mama would read. Martha would get a HUGE charge out of it, because “Those people who read? They’re from WHERE? Oh my word. Well oh my goodness. That is MORE FUN. And your real-life friends read, too? Well, you know that I think Merritt is perfectly beautiful, perfectly BEAUTIFUL, and well, the rest of your friends are, too – I don’t think I’ve ever seen prettier girls.”

So I think that if Martha were to read the blog, she would love it – ESPECIALLY the parts about her. Even though she’s in her mid-70s, there’s a part of her that’s most definitely a teenager, and what would REALLY bother her, I think, is if I didn’t mention her at all, or if I didn’t know her well enough to recognize how funny her personality is. Because here’s one thing I know: some mothers-in-law just tolerate the women their sons marry. But my mother-in-law really does love me like I’m one of her own.

Based on all that, I know that she would get a HUGE kick out of this blog thing if she had, you know, a computer. And more than anything, she would love that y’all get such a kick out of her. THAT would tickle her to no end.

(Sidenote: our favorite Martha expression ever? The time she was explaining to D. and me how she had to drive through a terrible storm, and she said, “The weather was just horrible! Horrible! Just pouring! And it was such a WET rain! A WET rain!”)

Anyway, odds are that she’ll never read the blog. Because Martha and my mama? NOT exactly the most techno-savvy creatures on the planet, I’m sad to say.

I know I’ve mentioned this little anecdote before, so I won’t repeat the whole thing, but please remember that when I mentioned to my mama that D. and my brother-in-law B. were playing video games together while sitting in separate cities, her reply was, “What? You don’t mean it. They’re in separate cities and playing the same video game together? And I can’t even turn on the email!”

(By the way, Mama loves to tell me that people have sent her emails, and what she means by that is that someone has emailed Daddy, and he has printed it out for her and given her a copy, but she loves – LOVES – using the terminology. Makes her feel all hip and cute, I think.)

And while Martha is smart as a whip, technology isn’t necessarily her strong suit, seeing as how she calls D. when her power goes out because she still doesn’t understand how to set the time on her VCR. Or change the time on the clock in her car. Or reset the odometer. So while I think she would get COMPLETELY hooked on email and blogging, I think the first Blogger outage or computer virus or email attachment might send her straight over the technology edge, straight into an abyss of computer frustration. She’d pull her hair out. And you know, since you can only get in with Betty at the beauty parlor on Fridays, it would hardly be worth it.

Truth be told, I don’t think Martha even knows about my blog. I’m not sure she even knows what a “blog” is. Think I should print out a few pages and take them to her this afternoon?

Might be fun….

I could very easily go on a bit of a rant right now about WHY IN THE WORLD my daddy won’t get DSL. I mean, he is on the computer constantly, plans somewhere around 6 family reunions a year via email, researches about 14 branches of the family on a daily basis (here’s my conclusion about geneaology: we’re all related. Thank you.), and keeps THREE hard drives on hand to store all his documents.

But DSL? NOOOOOOOO. That would be far too extravagant.

And I guess I “ranted” anyway. :-) Please forgive.

My point is – I so badly want to read everyone’s blogs right now. Alex is taking a huge nap after his day-o-swimming (no pictures – I think I left the camera at home), Mama is “resting her eyes” (read: snoring in her chair, but she would say “resting my eyes” because apparently it’s unladylike to admit that you go dead-to-the-world asleep in an upright position), and the house is as quiet as can be. Perfect blog reading time.

But the dial-up won’t allow it. I got two blogs to load in about 15 minutes, so at that rate I should be through all my Bloglines reading around 4:30 tomorrow morning. I guess everything will just have to keep until I get home.

So for those of you going to the bloggy get-together in Kansas City: have a wonderful time. I’ll be praying for your safe travel, and I hope you laugh so hard that your sides hurt when you leave. (Hey! Addie! Y’all should call me! Seriously. You can put me on speakerphone and then make fun of my accent after we hang up.)

Okay. Daddy needs his computer now. But he just told me he bought a laptop, which means wireless can’t be far behind. Surely.

Fingers crossed. :-)

Alex and I made it safely to Mississippi, where, if it’s possible, it’s even hotter than it was at home. And it’s humid. Yet parched. Paradise!

This will have to be short because Alex is about to go swimming and I need to put the second coat of SPF 50 (yes, you read correctly – my child inherited his mama’s no-melanin-at-all skintone), but I wanted to at least check in.

And I did see my mother-in-law last night, who told me ALL about her recent trip to the beach (please do not think she actually went TO the beach. Oh no. She simply stayed in the condo and looked out AT the beach, and drove BY the beach, but why would you possibly go TO the beach, because, well, there’s all that sand and it’s just so damp and, well, your hair gets messed up!). I think my favorite comment – and I will confess to you that when she said this, my cousin Paige kicked me under the table, because Paige knew it would SO go on the blog – was this one:

“We drove down to the Crab Trap, the Crab Trap! But everybody says The Shrimp Basket is better but I don’t know we didn’t actually GO to The Shrimp Basket but we did go to a place where they throw rolls at you but the little boy? The one throwing the rolls? He knew I couldn’t catch one so he just reached around, just crept around and sort of handed me one. And the portions! Well, the chicken was THIS big and then the potato was THIS big and it was just more than you could eat even if you didn’t eat all day! And we went to this place called Norma’s and it was the best chicken salad I have ever put in my mouth and oh, the bread pudding, and they had three sauces: a whiskey sauce, an amaretto sauce and a lemon sauce, and we all agreed that the lemon and amaretto were the best because the whiskey sauce was just too much, just too strong. I only like it when it’s really cooked down, you know where it’s milder, but it was just too much. And you know. Whiskey!”

And just think. I haven’t even told you about her brake pad fiasco. But let’s just say that when you put Martha with a mechanic – well, the storytelling fun never ends.

Alex was so tickled to see ALL his grandparents last night – it really is so sweet – and I knew we were in Spoiled Rotten territory when I sat down for breakfast this morning and looked at Alex’s sippy cup that he had handed to Mama a few minutes before.

COKE. He had a sippy-cup FULL of “Co-Cola” at 8:15 in the morning.

Anybody think he’ll be buck wild today? :-)

You’ll be happy to know that EK’s sister gave me permission to post pictures of her little boy.

You may commence with eating him up.

Because you know that little knee is just begging for some sugar.

In other news, Alex and I are headed to my hometown today so that we can See The Relatives. I’m especially excited about seeing my cousin Paige, who’s about 20 weeks along now and ready to get started on her nursery. Big fun in store.

I called D’s mama last night to let her know we would be there tomorrow (a day earlier than planned), and oh, if I only had a recording. But you know, even if I did, y’all would think I made it up (and if you need background on what in the world I’m talking about, see here, here and here).

So here’s my best approximation of our conversation:

Me: “Hey Martha – I just wanted to let you know that Alex and I will be in town tomorrow, and I thought you might want him to spend the night with you one of the nights that we’re there.”

Martha: “Oh? OH! Well, I just think that would be wonderful! Now you just let me know which night because of course Mother and I have the beauty parlor on Friday morning and we’ll have to get up and get moving because her home health nurse also comes on Fridays and we’re trying to work around her. See, she’s taking some classes at the community college and that’s changed her schedule, but we’re tryin’ to be real accomodating because she’s so good and all but she does come really early and that might upset Alex if he were here and asleep and then the doorbell rang at the crack of dawn and she woke him up and that wouldn’t be good, would it? And then I know that tomorrow night you’ll probably go straight to your mother’s house, won’t you go straight to your mother’s house? I mean, I imagine you’ll go straight to your mother’s house so y’all will just stay there I’m sure, but you know like I was saying I really do wish D. could come but I know he’s real busy with work and all that. He HAS been busy hasn’t he? I mean, he never really mentions anything about that but I know he works hard and well, I know you work hard, too, because Alex is so adorable right now and I do think he’s just the CUTEST thing when he gets on the phone and talks to me and sometimes I don’t understand it all but D. does translate and like I said, I wish he could come, but we’ll really look forward to seeing you and Alex. You just call us whenever you get here tomorrow.”

Me: [PAUSING, to make sure she’s finished, then:] “So what about Friday night? Would that work?”

Martha: “Yes, sugar, that’ll be just great.”

Really, someone should base a movie character on her. She’s one of a kind.

I’ll try to brave Daddy’s dial-up and keep y’all posted.

Last night Alex was starting to wind down a little. He grabbed a basket full of books, hopped up on the couch, and began to thumb through some of his favorites. And as he was “reading,” he started to sing to himself:

“See the world / sail the seas / climb the mountains if you please / God put it there / So you could see / The wonder of His love!”
Seriously? One of my sweetest mama moments yet.

And where did he learn this song? At church?

Nope. In the car.

Now I know that it gets OLD listening to kids’ songs. Sometimes I have to take a one-day break from Veggie Tales because I feel like I can’t take the song-stylings of a high-pitched cucumber for one more minute. But it dawned on me last night that it really is so worth it – because Alex is absorbing truths about God. That’s always a good thing. Plus, the songs keep him occupied during a trip…he is perfectly content to sit in the back, and look through books, and sing to his heart’s content.

And I keep a “Mama back-up” on hand, too – a mixed CD with fun arrangements of old hymns. He loves Selah’s version of “Deep, Way Down Deep,” for example – and you must believe me when I tell you that the “Mama back-up” has saved my sanity on more than one occasion.

So a young’un learning about Jesus (from vegetables, no less) during what could be wasted time in the car – it works for me.

For more great Works For Me Wednesday ideas, click here.

I don’t, as a general rule, win things.

I WAS Lucky Caller Number 14 when I was in 6th or 7th grade, and I have the Berlin and Midnight Star albums to prove it. Because that’s not lame or anything.

But at this stage in life, I have collected approximately zero honors and accolades. That’s not really part of the deal when you sign up for this wife and mama gig.

I think that’s one reason why I so appreciate this encouragement from Jules at Everyday Mommy. Jules is passionate about mamas recognizing the mission field in their own homes, and the fact that she makes time week in and week out to honor and encourage mamas who blog – well, it’s an example of her walk matching up with her talk. I love that.

So head on over to her place if you crave some thought-provoking conversation…there’s always an interesting discussion going on. And those of you who blog will appreciate that she also does great design work…Shannon’s blog is just one example.

Thanks, Jules! Really. You made my day. And that “Golden Croc” in my sidebar will make me smile for many days to come.