For the last couple of days of our trip to Uganda, we talked a lot about “re-entry” into our everyday lives – what that might look like and feel like once we got home to our families. We talked about jet lag and the best way to move through it. We talked about how it takes time to process everything we saw and heard and experienced. And we talked about how it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed by it all.

And make no mistake: for the first week that I was back at home, I was Officially Overwhelmed.

It’s not that I felt guilty that we live smack-dab in the middle of suburbia. At least I don’t think that was it. And it’s not that I wanted to sell all of our earthly possessions and give all the money to the poor and go live in a slum in the middle of Kampala, Uganda. I still had the wherewithall to recognize that God has a specific calling on my family’s life right here where we are.

But the first morning after our return trip – after sleeping for about four hours and then tossing and turning for the next three – I finally got out of bed around 4:45 and decided I’d make a pot of coffee.

And do you know what happened? I turned on the kitchen faucet. And water – clean, drinkable water – poured out of it. I could’ve let that water run all day if I wanted to.

It made me cry.

In fact, it made me cry a lot. So much so that I have started to refer to that particular time as Tuesday: The Day Of All The Crying.

The simplest things – water from a faucet, aisles of food at the grocery store, heat blasting out of our floor vents – left me sort of dumbstruck by the sheer abundance of it all.

But slowly, gradually, I’ve started to work through the process of figuring out what our experiences in Uganda are going to mean in the context of my everyday life. I feel like I’ve started to find my way again. And even though it feels strange sometimes to see the world through the lens of a vastly changed perspective, I’m so grateful for this new vantage point. I feel like our Uganda trip made me take off my suburban blinders.

The temptation, of course, is to gradually put the blinders back on. Because truth be told, I have moments where I feel like I’ve just about worn myself out with the Deeply Reflective Analysis Of The Poverty, and I wonder sometimes if the next step isn’t just to Push Through This Thing and Move On.

But the kicker is that I can’t.

And on top of that? I don’t want to.

Because ultimately, the trip to Africa has given me a completely unexpected desire to DO SOMETHING, ALREADY. And the bottom line is that I don’t want for the extent of this trip’s aftermath to be that I have some really cool pictures in iPhoto now, and oh, by the way, let me show you my sassy Ugandan earrings.

It has to go deeper than that.

And so I pray that what I saw and felt and heard on our trip will continue to impact my life, my family’s life, in ways we can’t ignore. I pray that somehow those experiences will continue to impact the lives of the children around the world who so desperately need our help.

I pray that I’ll know what to do next.

Because sitting here and pretending that poverty doesn’t exist? It’s no longer an option in our house.

So re-entry? Yep. Done it. Check that off the list. I am once again a functioning, (fairly) well-rested member of American society. I can even turn on the water in my kitchen without crying.

But ultimately, is the trip to Uganda over?

Nope. No way.

Not even close.

And Lord willing, it never will be.

For the last couple of days of our trip we headed a little deeper into the heart of Uganda and visited a national park adjacent to Murchison Falls. At the time I didn’t understand why those two days were so important, but in retrospect it is perfectly clear that without that decompression period my head would have flown straight off of my body and would now be residing somewhere in the middle of Lake Victoria.

So the decompression time, it was good.

In fact, it was one of the most memorable, wonderful, hysterical, inspiring times of my whole life. I felt absolutely enveloped by God’s grace. For real.

The first afternoon we were there we made a trip to Murchison Falls. We had to take a short ferry ride, then a much longer (and bumpy) van ride, and I sort of expected that we’d tackle the falls like the Griswold family tackled the Grand Canyon in National Lampoon’s Vacation. We’d walk over to the edge, stare for a couple of seconds, snap a few pictures, then head back to the vans.

So you can imagine my surprise when I hopped out of the van and heard the following words: “we’re going to take a 45-minute hike.”

A HIKE.

A HIKE?

Y’all. I was wearing Crocs – which I intially thought would be quite sensible for standing on some dirt and looking at some water and stuff – and some very large, dangly hoop earrings. Not to mention my glasses.

So obviously I was dressed for the occasion.

We started up the first hill, and since I am by nature a pretty fast walker, my strategy was to get up the hill as quickly as possible. However, since the hill was at angle I’m approximating to be around 90 degrees, my speed was quickly diminished by the sheer effort of putting one foot in front of the other.

In fact, I was a little incredulous that I was being asked to climb this particular hill WITHOUT THE AID OF A ROPE, but I was bound and determined that I was not going to be the 30-something mama who couldn’t keep up with the rest of the pack.

And do you know how long I was “bound and determined”? For a full minute. Oh yes I was.

And when that minute was over? I looked back at Shannon, gasped for air, and said, “Gotta. Stop. Minute. Breathe.”

She looked at me and said, “Yes. Hard. Steep.”

And then I said, “May. Die.”

I’m telling you, we were right at home on the side of that mountain. Just like a couple of housecats in the middle of a rodeo.

Somehow we made it up to the top of the hill (MOUNTAIN? MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!), and we started a downhill trek that was fairly simple, except for the fact that there were a lot of rocks and we had to make our way down the rocks and THERE WEREN’T ANY RAILS OR ANYTHING.

Also: if you step in mud while wearing Crocs? The mud will seep into your Crocs. And it will be very squishy.

After about thirty minutes or sixteen hours, we finally made it to the falls. And oh, I must confess that the view was stunning. Even if I had to sweat and stuff to be able to see it.

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By the way, I cannot believe that I just put a picture of me WEARING A BASEBALL CAP on the interweb. There is no question that my mama will be horrified. But I had to have something to protect my lily-white scalp from the blazing African sun. And I figured that my options were either a baseball cap or, you know, skin cancer. So I went with the cap.

I continue to stand by that decision.

Even if my head looks like a prize-winning melon.

There are lots of sights and sounds from Uganda that will stay with me forever, but for some reason last Tuesday’s home visit seems to be on constant replay in my mind. I can’t think of anything in recent memory that has affected me so profoundly, and every single time I close my eyes to rest or to try to sleep, I see a mental slideshow of that afternoon.

We went to see a 21 year-old mother and her little boy. Their home is in a small village, and to get there we had to walk through several narrow alleyways that are bisected by drainage ditches. Three families share one outdoor restroom – which is located behind this brick wall.

This is the young mama praying while she held her little boy; I will always remember their sweet faces.

The home next door was empty, so I asked the Compassion worker who was with us if I could take some pictures. For whatever reason, it struck me as completely surreal.

When our home visit was over, we walked slowly back through the village.

A couple of hours later we had a worship service at a nearby Compassion project; several mothers and children from the village were there with us. And when I saw the mom we visited walk to the front of the church to sing for us, I thought my heart might explode right then and there.

She lives in a one-room house in the middle of a remote, impoverished village.

I live in a way-too-many-rooms house in the middle of American suburbia.

And I wonder if I’ve ever known the kind of hope that she has, if I’ve ever experienced a faith that’s as pure and unencumbered by the things of this world.

The woman and her friends were singing a song they’d written about how Compassion has helped their families. They see every meal, every vaccination, every mosquito net, every dose of medicine, every bit of help from Compassion as God’s provision for them. They are deeply grateful.

And I get ticked off in the grocery store if my favorite brand of coffee is out of stock or if the line at the deli requires me to wait more than two minutes for my sliced turkey.

Perspective. It’s a mighty good thing. And that day – in the middle of a remote Ugandan village that has no power, no running water, no telephone lines and no cable television – I found tons of it.

I pray that I never forget.

I’m sitting in a hotel room in Uganda right now; our flight home leaves in about four hours, and truth be told I am ready to see my family. Thanks to the internet, we’ve been able to keep in touch, but I need to see my people. I can’t wait to sleep in my bed.

And OHMYWORD I’m ready for some diet Coke ON ICE and some fried chicken.

Not to mention lots of cheese.

We’ve had super-limited internet access for the last couple of days, but yesterday afternoon I had a chance to log into my WordPress account and read your comments for the last few posts.

I wish you could have seen Brian, Shaun, Carlos and me packed into the business-center-that-was-actually-a-cubicle. I read lots of your comments out loud, and we had the best time celebrating the all the new sponsorships. It’s been a really cool thing.

I still have so much to tell you about this past week, a week that has stretched me and challenged me and pretty much left me wrecked in ways I could have never imagined. I will never look at my life the same way again, and I am beyond grateful for that. In fact, for the last three days I have been a fountain of tears, and there is so much that I want to say. SO much.

Last night the sixteen of us who have spent pretty much every waking hour together for the last eight days sat around a table and talked about our reactions to this past week. Normally I like to chime in during any sort of feedback session, but last night I couldn’t even talk. I’d open my mouth, and the tears would just pour out of my eyes. It’s happening again right now. I am deeply, profoundly grateful for the privilege of this experience. I will never be able to tell you how much.

Every single thing we did with Compassion absolutely blew me away: every project we visited, every testimony we heard, every Throw The Ball And Run game we played, every child we hugged, every prayer we offered on behalf of the sweet families who were gracious enough to let us into their homes.

But in addition to the Compassion stuff, I would be absolutely, totally remiss if I didn’t tell you how much this phenomenal group of Compassion bloggers has come to mean to me. They are extraordinary, each and every one. My consistent prayer for this trip has been Philippians 2:1-7, and OH, was it ever the case. I don’t know when I’ve ever been a part of a more unified group. God used each person here to minister to me in such a specific way, and I have been humbled and changed as a result.

So to all my Uganda buddies, thank you inspiring me every single day – through your faith, your actions, your words, and your laughter. I just love y’all to pieces, even if you do make fun of my accent every single time I say “Shaun.”

But I don’t even care because “SHAW-AWN” sounds way better than “Shon” or however you people say it and by the way, “OH MY LANDS” is ABSOLUTELY an appropriate response in just about any situation.

Y’all are the best.

And guess what, everybody?

OH MY LANDS – I’m heading home.