Ayla Brown – She didn’t do a bad job with her Christina Aguilera song, but she has this odd absence of personality. No charisma whatsoever. She’s not horrible, but she’s better suited to school plays and show choir, I think.
Becky O’Donohue – She completely confirmed what I had suspected all along. She made it to the semi-finals because of her looks. When she started to sing, David looked at me and said, “She sounds like she’s from Czechoslovakia and is being forced to sing a song in a language that’s not her own.” But oh, did she ever try to sell it. I ain’t buyin’.
Brenna Gethers – Anyone with that much sass should have loads of talent to back it up. She doesn’t. She brings out extreme feelings of hate and rage in my husband.
Heather Cox – Who? Might be the most unmemorable AI contestant yet.
Katharine McPhee – LOVED HER. She sang one of my favorite songs, “Since I Fell For You,” and her performance, for me at least, was the best of the lot. She’s a natural. Didn’t overwork it, didn’t seem scared to death – perfect.
Kellie (Dawn) Pickler – She’s cute as a bug, and she’s really unaffected. She didn’t butcher Martina’s “How Far,” but she fell into what I like to call “hollering territory” every now and again. She’s not the most talented…but she is really, really likeable.
Kinnik Sky – I love Oleta Adams, and I love “Get Here,” but all I could think of when she was singing was, “Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Georgia, Kinnik Sky!” Total pageant performance.
Lisa Tucker – She’s 16?!?! She’s talented, for sure, and the audience seemed to love her, but she sang “I’m Changing” – and David got a weird look on his face and said, “She’s CHANGING? She’s 16!” The song was a little old for her, but she’ll go far because teenagers will vote for her.
Mandisa – I hated her song choice (I despise any Heart song with every fiber of my being), but she can SANG. Love her.
Melissa McGhee – Um, I don’t get her.
Paris Bennett – It would’ve been a great performance if she had just BEEN STILL. My word she jumped and gestured and, on the part of “Midnight Train To Georgia” where the back-up singers say, “WHOO WHOO,” she made that motion we all made when we wanted truckers to blow their horns on the interstate. I loved listening to her, but I didn’t like watching her. I imagine she’ll settle down over the next few weeks.
Stevie Smith – Liv Tyler look alike or no, she butchered that Josh Groban song. One of the more bizarre performances I’ve ever seen.

Should go: Brenna Gethers and Stevie Smith
Will go: Stevie Smith and Heather Cox
Tonight: the guys! Say a little prayer for Taylor Hicks….

Our third installment (and every day these get longer – I think I’m getting sort of wound up – I may have to go back and add to the others: :-)

5) Tracey – My first memory of Tracey is walking by her dorm room and seeing her sitting on her bed, crying, talking to her (now ex-) boyfriend on the phone and trying to make sense of college algebra. It was a pitiful sight. But we were fast friends. Tracey was also in my sorority pledge class, and now that I say that for the third time I’m starting to realize that as far as sorority experiences go, I sort of hit the jackpot.

Tracey is the girl you want with you when you need free things, like the last of the chicken at Popeye’s or the last of the donuts at Shipley’s. She could talk her way into the Oval Office – I believe that with everything in me. If you happen to find a tape of the 1992 Liberty Bowl, you will see Tracey and me on the sidelines, not because we were serving in any official university capacity, but because she convinced the security guard that we were the cheerleading coaches. See what I mean? She has this all-American look about her that guys love – but because she’s so unaware of herself, women love her, too. For those reasons, she is always – and I do mean ALWAYS – the life of the party. You give T. a band and and just one other person to keep her company, and she will SHUT ‘ER DOWN. EVERY TIME. Our girl has some moves. ;-) Tracey was a cheerleader at State, and besides the fun of seeing her on the sidelines or on television, there was an added bonus in that she taught us all the cheers. I can’t tell you how many nights you would find two or three of us practicing “Go State,” “Bulldog Blitz,” etc., and T. and I always ended our sessions with a double stunt. I was the base, of course. Tracey is also – and I mean this with nothing but sincere admiration – the world’s most enthusiastic bad singer. She’s a TAD tone deaf, but that doesn’t stop her from rousing renditions of “Time and Tide” (which I am proud to have on video), “I Am A Promise” (she worked on that rendition for four years), and a medley of Chi O rush songs.

But there’s so much more to her than the fact that she is utterly entertaining…she is one of the most tender-hearted people I know. If she sees you with even the teensiest frown on your face, she will walk up to you, put her arm around your neck, pat you on the head, and say, “What’s wrong, baby?” Right after she had her first child, I called to check on her, and she said, “Hey – seriously – you have to do this baby thing. He or she will be the love of your life.” She probably doesn’t even remember saying it – but I so remember hearing it – and T., you weren’t kidding. Not one little bit. She now has three of those young’uns (who are as gorgeous as their mama and their daddy), and while I know she has to be exhausted about 95% of the time, I know her babies adore her. I sure do.

I can’t wait to tell her children about…all the times their mama and I went riding around, “spying” on certain people who needed to be spied upon. I have actually held their mama’s foot in my interlaced fingers and boosted her up so that she could see into a window. Oh yes I have. And I have peeled away from the scene, to boot. When her kids get much, much older, I will tell them about the time we did donuts behind the Sigma Chi house and drew a small crowd, but I will not tell them that until long after their college days (I’d hate for that particular practice to be continued by the next generation).

6) Elise – I think it’s telling that the first big memory that I have of Elise is when I wandered up to the dorm room that she shared with T. (for the record, all the same pledge class info applies to E., too) and she was FOLDING CLOTHES. Those of you who know E. know that the only thing that would’ve been more appropriate is if she had been wiping down her kitchen counters, because the girl? She can CLEAN. I always love it when she comes to my house because when she picks up framed pictures, she always wipes any dust off of the glass, and she always makes the bed JUST LIKE I LIKE IT.

Elise is the den mama. When we were in college, she was the person with Band-Aids, safety pins, and she was an expert in stain removal. She has a laugh that I could identify out of a line-up of 100 people, and we have always cracked each other up. She’s one of the most honest, up-front, and outspoken people I have ever known. If you don’t want to know, don’t ask her – because she will flat-out tell you what she thinks. But with E., you lay it all out on the table, get everything in the open, work it out, and move on. I LOVE that. I could not talk to Elise for two years, call her out of the blue, and when she heard my voice, she would say, “So anyway, you remember so-and-so? I was at lunch with her sister the other day, and their cousin, who grew up in Indianola, went to Ole Miss for a couple of years but then graduated from State, well….” You know the whole six degrees of separation theory? With Elise it’s more like four. And if you’re operating within the confines of the state of Mississippi, you can take it down to two. If I could trade skin tones with anyone, it would be her…she has this gorgeous olive toned complexion, and she can tan like nobody’s business. She always puts herself down when she discusses her looks, but she is one hot mama – she just has no idea.

E. and her hubby started dating our freshman year, and while I like to think that David and I don’t have any secrets, we’ve got NOTHING on these two…they are hysterical. T. and I have often said that if E. and P-dub don’t make it, there’s no hope for the rest of us – because they are as committed and devoted to each other as anyone I’ve ever known. Elise was the first one of our “crew” to get married, and she was my first friend to have a child. I remember talking to her the night P. was born – and I cried. It caught me so off guard – hit me out of nowhere – but there was something so right about the person who had mothered all of us finally having a baby of her own. She has three boys now, and I mean to tell you that she has poured her heart and soul into them. If I’m ever trapped on an island, E. is one of the people I would want with me…because she would make mugs out of coconut shells, create a sassy outfit for herself out of palm fronds and assorted foliage, devise a recipe for a fruity beverage, catch and cook a slew of fish for us to eat while we watched the sunset and simultaneously constructed a radio out of plans she sketched out with a stick on the sand. When tough times come, she’s someone you want – and need – in your corner.

I can’t wait to tell her children about…a certain incident behind McKee Dorm involving my 1984 Buick Regal, Elise behind the wheel, a large cloud of smoke from the tailpipe, and a resulting inability to put the car in reverse. And that’s all I’ll say about that.

Okay – I’m turning comments back on. I actually had to delete a couple of comments last night, not because they were intentionally malicious or anything like that, but because they were unknowingly hurtful to some of my long-time friends. So if you would, please be mindful that there are real people (granted, only about 40 of them, but people nonetheless) who read what you write. In the midst my diverse little group of friends there are all kinds of issues and hurts and struggles, so thanks in advance for being considerate of that.

Hey sweet friends and family –

Comments will be off for a little while. I’m not sure exactly when they’ll be on again, so please email early and often in the meantime.

Love y’all –

Two more BooMama Who’s Who entries while Alex is napping (he’s being cooperative with the blogging today, isn’t he?).

3) Merritt – Merritt and I also met in junior high (junior high was good to me). She doesn’t seem to remember me at all from the 7th grade, but I remember her because she won Best Actress in the school play. She played a grandmother, if memory serves. Anyway, Merritt and I got to be much better friends in high school because we went to the same youth group, but we really became inseparable in college.

We pledged the same sorority, and we lived near each other, but the main component of our college friendship was that Merritt is hysterical. I don’t think she could brush her teeth without making me laugh. What was so fun for me in college was seeing everyone start to appreciate the parts of Merritt that people like Liz and I had loved for so long: the goofy dances, the crazy imitations, the silly songs. You might meet Merritt and initially think, “Oh, what a gentle soul,” and you’d be right, KIND OF, but the thing I think we all love most about her is that she is a SPITFIRE. She’s one of the most loyal people I know and one of the first people I would call on in a crisis. There’s such a sweet maternal side to her, and seeing how Merritt loved her babies is one of the main reasons I started to think about having a baby of my own. On top of all that, Merritt is beautiful, and that’s not just my subjective assessment; judges have confirmed it (she was selected as a beauty when we were at State). Even now her skin is incredible, so much so that it makes me a tad envious, because she has no visibile pores or wrinkles on her face. Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous.

I can’t wait to tell her children about…1) the time I “highlighted” her hair and turned it a lovely shade of orange and 2) (they’ll actually get to see this on video) when their mama was leaving her wedding reception, running toward the car in all her post-nuptial excitement, hair perfectly coiffed atop her head, train of her dress blowing in the breeze, and BAM! she ran straight into a street sign. Cracks me up just thinking about it. The funniest part is that on the video, you can hear Merritt go “OH” at the shock of it all, but she never quit moving toward the car. Grace under pressure, as always.

4) Daph – Daph and I met our freshman year of college, but I honestly can’t remember exactly when. It was like I showed up in Starkville, saw her, and had known her forever. We were in the same sorority, and if any two people on earth have the exact same funny bone, it’s the two of us. We lived together for part of our sophomore year (until I had to move into the sorority house), and all I remember about it is that neither of us was particularly fond of doing our laundry, and we laughed all. the. time. I have no idea about what – but we would get so tickled that my sides would hurt the next day. We are both night owls, so we would be awake long after everyone else went to sleep, and we did some mighty good philosophizing in the wee hours of the morning. Just for the record, my mother thinks Daphne is the most beautiful girl on the planet. Even now, if I mention Daph’s name, Mama says, “OH! She is so pretty – you know I’ve always thought she was so pretty since the first time she came home with you – she has the most beautiful smile.”

Like so many of my friends, Daph is fiercely loyal, and woe be unto you if you hurt someone she loves, for you will be required to answer for your actions in the Court of Daphne. In fact, I don’t think the Delta Gammas were ever the same after Daph confronted them on some questionable Homecoming Queen campaigning practices. ;-) Daph has had a really successful career doing work that she loves, but I know deep down in my soul that one day she’s going to quit her office job altogether and write the book that she’s threatened to write for the last twenty years. She has this intricate little world inside her head – imagination for days – and at some point she’s got to share that with the rest of us. I love seeing how much Daph loves her husband (and vice versa) – they just adore each other, and her boys are so fortunate to have that kind of love modeled in front of them each and every day.

I can’t wait to tell her children about the time…we went to see the Indigo Girls in Jackson. We sang all the way over there, and once we got in the auditorium, we looked around a bit and said, “Gosh, there sure are a lot of women here.” After a few songs we looked at each other and said, “Gosh, why do you think there are so many women here? Some of them even look like they’re couples. Do you think???” We were puzzled, but we stayed all the way through the concert, enjoyed ourselves immensely, and didn’t think much more of the high percentage of females in attendance. Finally, when we got back out to Daph’s car and started the trek to Starkville, I thought about all the women we’d seen and I said, “Daph, do you think the Indigo Girls are…lesbians?” And to prove just how naive we were, Daph said, “Oh no, I don’t think that at all!” And we sang Indigo Girls songs the whole way home.

Most of y’all have known me for a long time and know that I’m a private person. It’s strange that I have voluntarily decided to document my family’s life in a public way – 1) because my life is pretty boring 2) because I’m typically more of a listener than a talker and 3) because I’ve never really shared what I’ve written with other people, so sharing it with the interweb feels a little odd.

In light of all that, in light of my dislike of being “front and center” at basically any point in time, I think it’s only fair that we turn the tables a bit.

Let’s do a little BooMama Who’s Who, why don’t we? I’ll start from childhood and work my way forward…let’s see if I can get two of these done before Alex gets out of the tub (side note: about 10 minutes ago, around 12:30, Alex looked at me and said, “Mama, I want to get in the tub.” I have no idea why, but I’ll take it. Maybe he had that not-so-fresh feeling). For the time being I’ll focus on friends, not family – in the interest of brevity, of course. If you see typos just ignore them – I’M ON A DEADLINE, PEOPLE – that water can’t stay warm forever!

1) Laura – Laura and I have literally known each other since we were babies. I’m six months older, and those are the only six months during which we have not been in each other’s company. Because I was a grade ahead, I always took on the “older and wiser” role, because really, when you’re in sixth grade, there is LOTS that you can teach the people in fifth grade. But Lou got married first, had babies first, and she’s been teaching me a thing or two ever since.

She and her hubby are about to move into a be-yoooo-tee-ful new home in their Lovely Planned Residential Suburban Community, and she is the least stressed-out person I’ve ever seen in an about-to-move situation. She’s also smart as a whip – graduated from undergraduate and graduate school with a 4.0. (We will not be discussing my GPA in this blog. Ever.) It’s always encouraging for me to talk to Laura (as I do at least twice a week) because she is one of the most upbeat people I know in terms of “spurring me on” to being a godly wife and mama. She worked for a year after her first child was born but has had the opportunity to stay home ever since, and I have never heard her complain – not even one time – about the frustrations that can arise when you’re home with young’uns all day, every day. She loves her current line of work – teaching and training her two sweet children – and she does a mighty fine job at it, I might add.

I cannot wait to tell her children about…the time she was 11 and decided, when her mother got out of the car to open the garage door, to help her mother by pulling the car into the garage, and as a result pinned her mother between the car and the garage door. This story is made even more entertaining by the fact that when Laura’s mother, understandably shaken from the experience, sat down to have a glass of wine to calm her nerves, Laura’s daddy went to the store and bought Laura a new purse – he felt that sorry for her. Laura’s mother remarked that if Laura had done away with her altogether, she most certainly would have received a Polo shirt.

2) Liz – I met Liz in junior high school, but I didn’t really get to know her until we much more mature and sophisticated tenth graders. We have the same sense of humor…we spent many high school afternoons watching tapes of “Moonlighting” and “The Sweeney Sisters” from SNL. Liz shares my love of Southern fiction, and since we were both English majors (in undergrad and graduate school), we always had lots of interesting literature to discuss. Usually, though, we just talked about tv.

I think that Liz is the least judgmental person I’ve ever known (and by that I don’t mean that the rest of y’all just sit around and JUDGE JUDGE JUDGE). But those of you know Liz understand what I mean. She’s not a “live and let live” person at all – she has a strong, deep sense of right and wrong – but she’s incredibly respectful of other people’s decisions, of the idea that other people’s views might not match up with hers. When David and I left the Episcopal church a few years ago, I was a little worried about telling Liz because she’s Episcopalian, and I didn’t want her to think that we were on some crazy religious trip. Anyway, I finally told her, and I’ll never forget what she said: “Isn’t it great that there are churches out there for everyone? Isn’t it great that y’all have found a place where you feel at home?” It makes me teary-eyed even thinking about it right now. David and I had agonized so much over what to do, over what people would think, and at that particular point in time, Liz’s words were, for me, God’s grace in action. I will never forget that.

I cannot wait to tell her children about…when Liz (who is a great mother, in all seriousness) was desperate to come over here for a girls’ weekend about two years ago, but she couldn’t find a babysitter for Friday afternoon. She called all her regular people, but no one could help her, so finally Merritt got involved and said, “Hey, I know someone.” Liz called that girl, who couldn’t babysit, but the girl said, “You know, my friend might be able to help you.” So Liz called the friend’s friend, who she didn’t know from Adam’s housecat, and when the COMPLETE STRANGER said, “Yes ma’am, I can babysit,” Liz said, “GREAT! Let me give you directions.” She was here at my house by 4 that afternoon.

Bath time is over…to be continued…and you may be next. :-)