Last night my mama called and asked if I’d help her with the wording for an invitation. She explained that she and Daddy were hosting a neighborhood dinner for someone who’s moving away, and in true Southern fashion Mama wants to do a printed invite.
She can do a formal dinner for 30, you see, but the whole potluck thing throws her off completely.
Here is a re-cap of our conversation:
Mama: “I start off with ‘Please join us for a Potluck Dinner’…”
Me: “Okay.â€
Mama: “…honoring Neighbor Lady†[in case you didn’t catch it – that’s not her real name]
Me: “Okay.â€
Mama: “In celebration of her retirement from†[then reads name of Large Government Entity where Neighbor Lady works]
Me: [starting to get puzzled] “O. Kay.â€
Mama: “On May 21st, at 6 o’clock, in our home.â€
Me: [feeling better now] “All right.â€
Mama: “Please bring your favorite Southern dish…â€
Me: [puzzled all over again] “Mmm-hmm.â€
Mama: “…to accompany fried chicken.â€
Me: [now totally puzzled] “Keep going.â€
Mama: “Bobby and I will supply all the ice, drinks, paper goods and desserts.â€
Me: “Hold on, Mama. You’re giving too much information. This is turning into a paragraph, not an invitation.â€
Mama: “Well, how will they know if we don’t tell them?â€
Me: “How about if you just say, ‘Please bring your favorite Southern side dish’?”
Mama: “Okay.â€
[long pause]
Me: “What?â€
Mama: “You don’t think I need to mention the fried chicken?â€
Me: “No. No, I don’t think you need to mention the fried chicken.”
Mama: “Well, what about the paper goods? Don’t I need to mention that your daddy and I will have all the paper goods?â€
Me: “Mama, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that if you and Daddy are having a group of people over for a cookout, they are going to assume that you’ll have some plates and forks and cups so that they can, you know, eat. They are not going to arrive with a pack of Hefty plates and some Solo cups.â€
Mama: “So you think it’s okay?â€
Me: “I think it’s okay.â€
And by the way, the irony of my mama having a dinner with paper plates is not lost on me.
The OCD apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree, does it?
And to prove my theory, my husband just said to me “You’re so anal.”
(I changed my blog template over the weekend, and I keep thinking of things to “fix” that he’s had to help me with.)
Funny. We have to be related somehow, I swear.
That sounds like my grandmother too.
I just don’t know how Ouida can entertain with her lips burning and all. Should I Fed Ex my party flatware and plates?
Isn’t it nice to know how honestly we all come by things?
Well, Bubba, you can rest assured that somewhere at that party, there will be a piece of crystal cleverly mixed in with the plastic…because I can promise you that my mama will not drink out of a Solo cup. And she probably won’t eat until everyone is gone – at which point she will switch to china, I’m sure. ;-)
oh I wish I was so anal. When we have a get together I can’t even decide what to ask people to bring.
cute!! i have never had real southern fried chicken – i want some!!! pop some in the mail for me k?
Has she called back to see if she should state on the invites that soap, water and towels, as well as restroom facilities will be available as well? ;-)
Hello there Boomama :-) its obvious YOUR mom does not read these posts/comments – mine does so thats all I will say on this matter!!!!
well I will add I love somebody, anybody sending anything actually printed anymore. its becoming a lost art, even if it mentions paper plates.
thank you so much for the great laugh. i’m back boomama!!
that anonymous was me. i guess i have been out of the loop for so long that it forgot me-
Triels and Tribulations – I’ve missed you. Figured you were busy trying to get contractors to show up and GIT THAT THERE WORK DONE. :-)
Has anyone ever told you how awesome you are? You are so awesome! Funny stuff!