Numbering Creates The Illusion Of Coherence

1. I’m not as up-to-date with celebrity news as I used to be, what with giving up my InTouch / Us / People habit this year (yes, I fell off the wagon when I had a night alone…every once in awhile you just need some big colorful pictures with mindless captions).

But I have decided that I have a distinct pet peeve in the land of celebrity reportage.

(Is “reportage” even a word? Well, it should be.)

Why do magazines, newspapers, etc. always distinguish between biological children and adopted children? Why is everyone in a big hip-hip-hoo about this Brangelina baby, yet when reporters mention their other two children, they refer to them as “adopted”? Why are Tom Cruise’s kids with Nicole Kidman always referred to as “adopted,” while his newest child is just “Tom and Katie’s [excuse me. Kate. Tom’s very insistent that we call her Kate.] kid”? Aren’t the other two children “just his kids,” too?

Because I’ll tell you this (she says, as she creeps up to the stairs that lead to her soapbox): my love for my child is in no way, shape, form or fashion based on the fact that I gave birth to him. I love him because he IS, not because of where he came from. And I don’t see why the media relegate children who are LOVINGLY CHOSEN to some sort of second-tier status.

Should I start a letter writing campaign? How do you even do that?

Dear Us Magazine,

I’ve noticed that you distinguish between adopted and non-adopted children.

Stop it.


It really does make me crazy – doesn’t make sense at ALL.

2. I don’t know if you’ve seen Sarah’s good news or not – but it’s cause for praise. Click on over to see a mighty sweet baby girl.

3. Here is the Slap Yo Mama Chocolate Pudding recipe that I mentioned earlier today (though that’s not the pudding’s official name – I can’t really hear my grandmother saying that, and I think that the official name is, surprisingly, “Chocolate Pudding”).

You need to know that my Mamaw Davis was the best cook in six counties – three hot meals a day, everything homemade or homegrown – and this is one of the few recipes anyone bothered to write down. So I’m sharing a little of my cooking heritage with you…it’s one of the strongest sensory memories of my childhood. It is SO. DADGUM. GOOD.

3/4 cup sugar
3 heaping tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 heaping tablespoons cocoa powder (I like Hershey’s)
2 eggs
2 egg yolks (that is not a typo – that would be 4 egg yolks total, or two days’ worth of your recommended cholesterol intake) :-)
2 cups milk
2 tablespoons butter
2 teaspoons good vanilla extract

In a medium-sized saucepan (no heat yet), stir together first three ingredients until there are no lumps. I actually run mine through a sifter, but hey, I’m OCD.

In a separate bowl, beat your eggs.

Fold eggs into dry mixture.

Once eggs are fully incorporated, add milk, stir until combined, and then turn on stove to a medium-high heat. You do not want to boil this custard…so be careful you don’t have too much heat going or the pudding will curdle.

Stir or whisk mixture constantly until it starts to thicken – about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in butter and vanilla.

Makes 4-6 servings, which I pour immediately into individual dessert bowls (cools quicker that way).

And please, whatever you do, no matter how delicious it may be, please, during the making or eating of this pudding, do not, under any circumstances, slap your mama.

Even though you’ll want to. :-)

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  1. Lea Margaret says:

    I CAN NOT wait to try this puddin recipe. I love me some puddin. Bless your Mamaw Davis’s sweet soul. Thank you for sharing.

  2. You HAVE to stop blogging – I am at least 11 posts behind and its killing me! Seriously. And I need to know the Thursday 13 thing before this Thursday.

    PS If Id had your home address I would have gotten you an autographed book by Lisa (Blair) when I saw her this week. xoxoxo

  3. Clarification needed – I am 11 behind in reading yours, not in writing. Everytime I look at your blogspace I think, oh I so want to read that and no time. I seriously am so far behind your writing I need to pencil in a space on my calendar. I miss reading you…

  4. Thanks BM! I already added it to my notepad on my desktop named BooMama’s Recipes!! Yeah!

    And, in my opinion…keep the writin’ comin’! My hubby is out of town (again) for the next three days so I will be a blogging freak!!

  5. Lea Margaret – You will love this recipe. We like to eat it warm. I use it for chocolate pie filling, too – so good.

    Bev – I’ll email you the stuff about Thursday Thirteen. It’s so easy. And you are so sweet to have thought of me when you saw BLAIR WARNER! :-)

  6. Sister says:

    Correction…Mamaw Davis was NOT the best cook in six counties. She was THE. BEST. COOK. EVAH.

    Lord knows I wouldn’t be able to pass down any of her recipes. I think it’s been determined that I paid more attention to her sewing skills. :)

  7. I would like to point out that Theresa just referred to me as “BM” – and it made me laugh out loud. Maybe I’ve been keeping company with a three year old for too long, but it cracked me up.

    And yes, Sister, you’re right – she really was the best cook evah, and why oh why no one wrote down her recipe for apple tarts is something I GRIEVE at least once a week. I can taste them right now….

  8. that pudding sounds so good! my mamaw was a great cook too, and made a wonderful chocolate pudding type pie. mmmmm.

    and #1? AMEN. I’ve got both kinds of kids, and there just isn’t a difference. what is SO hard to understand about that?

  9. I just came across your blog and it is hilarios! Thanks for the laughs. The pudding sounds delicious, I’ll have to try it. I’ve never been thankful that my mom doesn’t live close by, but if the pudding is that good then I’m glad she won’t be around.

  10. Lea Margaret says:

    What kind of apple tarts did she make? My Ga Ga made THE BEST homemade fried apple pies evah and I can not find the recipe for them either. I know that she used dried apples and that is all that I can remember. Were her tarts kind of like that?

  11. You be tagged.

  12. LM – I remember that she made her dough from scratch, though Sister can probably remember her system better than I can. I think she used fresh apples, though, cooked in butter and sugar and cinnamon. She cut the dough out in big circles, put filling in the center, folded them over so that they made half-moons, and then ran around the edges with one of those little pie crust roller things. I cannot tell you how sick I am that I don’t have the recipe.

    Carol – I’ll check it out!

  13. We had our annual baby dedication at church this weekend. Bethany was one of about 8 kids being dedicated. It was so sweet to see them all and to be up in front of the church with them (and their parents.)

    Each one was given their moment in the spotlight. But, when our pastor came to Bethany, he made mention of her being adopted. (And, just for sake of clarity, we were two white parents holding a baby who was CLEARLY Chinese.) He said something about how we had gone so far to get her, blah, blah, blah.

    It made me cringe. I wondered if the other parents somehow got the message that Bethany is more special than their kids… which is not true. (And I don’t think that is what our pastor believes. But he may have communicated that nonetheless.)

    It also makes me wonder about how long this will continue for Bethany. I don’t want any of her accomplishments to be continually eclipsed by the manner in which she was brought into our family. Like, we can’t just be proud of her for what she has achieved and leave it at that. Will people think that her adoption defines her? I hope not. I pray not.

    Uugh. You got me on the wrong topic, here.

    I am going to try the pudding recipe. And I quite like the name “slap yo mama.”

    Of course, if Bethany eats any, we will have to call it “slap yo adoptive mama.”


  14. Lori – I just slapped my hands together and clapped when I read that last line. Hysterical. “Slap yo adoptive mama,” indeed. So funny.

  15. BooMama,
    I already “borrowed” the pudding recipe before you decide it’s too dangerous to share because of all the “mama-slapping” that will be going on. ;)

    I noticed the BM thing too, and smirked. :)

    Did your Mamaw fry or bake her tarts? I don’t have a written recipe, but I make my Mom’s fried pies, and they’re half-moon shaped like that. The crust is the easiest ever: equal parts undiluted Pet milk and melted Crisco, brand specific, and measured by Mama in a big metal serving spoon. Add plain flour and salt (estimate according to how much dough you’re making) mix and roll out. Add enough plain flour to make a stiff dough that’s easy to roll out on a floured board. I make the apple filling either from fresh apples or dried. I prefer the dried myself. Dried peaches or apricots make some of the best pies, and your chocolate pudding recipe is very similar to one I use for chocolate fried pies, but I put a little more flour in it to make the filling thicker for fried pies. I’d have to write down the apple recipe from my head, don’t have it written down anywhere. You can use the dough for any fried pie recipe, including savory recipes, and use any amount from a 2 tablespoons each milk and Crisco for 1 or 2 crusts to a cup or more of each for huge batches. Keeps good in the fridge too, but let it warm a little before you roll it out. Hope this helps. ;) Ask here, my comments or email if you have any questions. Okay, this cooking tutorial is now concluded for the time being. ;)

  16. Lea Margaret says:

    Oh! I am sick too. GaGa made dough from scratch and then the big circle turned into the half-moon shape then fried them. I might have to try Diane’s method. Brings back wonderful memories!

  17. Boomama, when people stop bringing us food, and I have to start being a real wife again (as opposed to just being postnatal and not having any real duties other than to take care of myself and the baby), I’m going to try this recipe. It sounds fabulous!

  18. Oh, and I forgot–in the Bible it specifically mentions that children who are biological can be disowned, but adopted ones cannot. I guess it’s because we are God’s adopted children, and He doesn’t disown us. So if people are going to make a distinction, it should be the adopted ones who are special. Although in a perfect world, there would be no distinctions. We’re just a distinction-happy society, I think!

  19. Oh have mercy – she FRIED them. What’s the point in wrapping something up in dough if you don’t fry it? :-) And, I’m sorry? Did I just read “CHOCOLATE FRIED PIES”? I believe we may have discovered the world’s most perfect food.

    Okay – I’m going to the grocery store and getting the stuff to try to replicate the fried apple pies. And do you fry them in Crisco? Or canola oil?

  20. Sister says:

    Oh, oh, oh! I know this answer…CRISCO! (I don’t think Mamaw used canola oil.) :)

  21. (I don’t think Mamaw used canola oil.)
    To clarify…I don’t think she used canola oil for anything! :)

  22. Sister – I just got tickled, because of course you’re right – canola oil wasn’t a hot commodity in the 60’s and 70’s, was it? I didn’t even think about that…and yessir, I went to the grocery story and got me a fresh tub of Crisco, some Pet milk, some Granny Smith apples, and I’m gonna crank it up in the test kitchens :-) whenever Alex wakes up from his nap.

  23. Lea Margaret says:

    Let us know how they turn out!

  24. Yep, fry them babies in Crisco!! Nope, Mama didn’t even know Canola oil existed back then. And she used lard sometimes. Breathe, now, it will be okay, LOL. ;)And you cook your apples down using as little water as possible till they’re really thick and concentrated. I use butter, sugar and cinnamon in them. Fry to a golden brown in a big deep skillet, turning carefully with a big spatula, and drain on paper towels. I wet the edges when I seal them, and press with a fork rather than a pastry roller. Use as little flour as possible when you roll them out or brush it off them with a pastry brush or it will burn in the Crisco before you finish frying them all.

    Let us know how they turned out, if you can drag your fried-pie-stuffed carcase in here to the puter to tell us, LOL. :)

  25. K, I missed the whole BM thingy??? What is so funny about it? Please explain to the sleep-deprived, blondie mama so I can laugh at myself too!!

  26. Boo Mama….. BM………..Bowel Movement……..Get it now? LOL. ;)

  27. ho-ho-ho-ho-hoooomemade pppppudding????

    YIKES! The thought of attempting this me shake in my boots! (okay, “mules”) And I love to cook, too!

  28. I don’t know what’s funnier – Theresa’s question or Diane’s answer. :-) Theresa, keep in mind that I’m the same person who took about six years to realize that Target’s logo was in fact…a target…so I totally understand where you’re coming from.

    And GiBee, once you try the homemade pudding, you’ll never look back…it is OH-so-good and well worth a little extra trouble.

  29. BM=Blondie Mama :)

  30. I’m so laughing out loud. I finally got the BM AFTER reading through the new comments last night. I got a 2 hour nap in today so that may be reason or is it the Vicadin I’m on??? Not sure but thanks Diane for the clarification!! :-)

    I’m not afraid of looking stupid or asking dumb questions…it’s just my nature! I like the Blondie Mama though sister…I actually thought that could be the name of my new blog last night!!

  31. there I go again another blonde moment…I meant AFTER reading the new posts TONIGHT!! k, I’ll stop ya’ll

  32. BTW – I did notice the target logo!

  33. I’m a Blondie Mama right with you, Theresa…and now that several people seem to be using that abbreviation, I’m just going to pretend that’s what it means. :-)

  34. Sister says:

    Again, I am the vessel. :)

  35. Sister says:

    …or, I could be BS. Some might say that I’m full of it. :)
    (BS = Blondie Sister)

  36. Now THAT’s funny.