A few days ago Alex and I had to get out of the house in a hurry because some people were coming by with a realtor. I had been cleaning and scrubbing and vacuuming since about 7:30 that morning, so by the time we made our hasty exit at 11, I was a mess. My hair wasn’t fixed, I hadn’t taken a shower, I was wearing zero make-up, and I had on these gaucho-ish workout pants that are not attractive in the least but are as comfortable as all get out when you’re spending a morning up to your elbows in Pine Sol.
I didn’t have time to change clothes or, you know, bathe before we left, but I was so frazzled by that point that I really didn’t care. I figured I’d run through the McDonald’s drive-thru, grab some lunch, and then Alex and I would head to the park and commence with the killing of time. Plus, given the condition of my appearance, at least if we were at the park people might think that I’d been hoofing it on the walking trail just moments before I sat down at a picnic table to systematically demolish an order of McValue fries. And a cheeseburger.
As soon as we got to the park Alex noticed a lady who happens to work at his Mother’s Day Out, and all I could think was, “WELL, THAT FIGURES” because it never fails that I run into someone I know when I look my absolute worst. We made small talk for a few minutes, and in an attempt to explain why I looked like death warmed over, I offhandedly mentioned that oh, someone was looking at our house, we were in a hurry when we left as she could probably tell, ha ha ha ha ha, all the while hoping that she wouldn’t think I was some deranged mama who was unfamiliar with Why Good Hygiene Is Important.
In the meantime, a little girl who was probably one and a half kept running over to me, lifting up her arms, and trying to crawl into my lap. Alex was infinitely entertained by the fact that “the girl baby” wanted to play with his mama, and since the girl baby’s parents didn’t seem to object, I picked her up and let her play with the toy from Alex’s Happy Meal. She’d sit in my lap for a little bit, then jump down and run to her mama, then climb back in my lap, and so it went for about the next ten minutes.
When the little girl climbed down for about the twelfth time, I mentioned to her mama, who looked to be about my age, that I was flattered that her daughter seemed to like me so much.
And here is what her mama said to me:
“Well, you do look like her grandmother!”
OH YES SHE DID.
OH YES SHE DID.
I just sat there, stunned, trying not to feel offended, reminding myself that I’m not in fact getting any younger and that being a grandmother is one of life’s greatest blessings. Grandmothers are loving, they’re wise, they’re treasured – they’re the apples of their grandbabies’ eyes.
However, grandmothers are not, as a general rule, IN THEIR THIRTIES.
So in my head I tried to put a spin what she said, tried to remember that I didn’t exactly leave the house with a youthful glow that morning, tried to justify that maybe she meant the grandmother and I have a similar body type, or maybe the grandmother and I have a similar-sounding voice.
But at the same time, I couldn’t help but channel a little bit of Suzanne Sugarbaker and think, “Well, if I’d wanted to be insulted, I’d have stayed at home and waited for a crank call!”
And please don’t misunderstand. I have high hopes of being a Sassy Grandmama, as I know several of you are. But I’ve sort of envisioned my late 50’s / early 60’s as being the Sassy Grandmama years. Not, you know, NOW.
I mean, y’all. I can’t help but feel like I may need a touch of the Botox.
Perhaps the plastic surgeon will give me some form of senior citizens’ discount!
And just FYI: I’m considering changing the name of the blog to BooMamaw.
Consider yourself warned.
How outrageous!! I know just how you feel. Back in the days when I actually thought I would grow old gracefully and not color all the gray in my hair – someone thought I was my husband’s mother!! I almost needed to get couseling over that one. Needless to say there are no grays on this head any more. My husband is admittedly young looking ( young women used to hit on him when our sons were in their late teens and out with him somewhere – Honestly!!!).
I think the only remedy for this is to realize she is probably in need of glasses.
Sorry – that’s couNseling. I think my poor aging mind is going.
That is funny! At least all of us in blogger land can laugh about it. Thanks for sharing it.
Oh, btw, in my husband’s side of the family, his aunt became a grandma at 32!!! and a GREAT GRANDMA at 48!! Every first born girl gets pregnany at 16. So if thay lady thought you were a grandma, just think about what kind of background she may be coming from…
Oh No She Didn’t!!! Good night, that poor thing. Well, we really need to pray about that girls eyesight, that God might heal her. For the record, there is no place on this planet that you might be confused for a grandmother! No way! No How!
(By the way, I’ve been wanting to e-mail ya here soon. If life would just slow down about a half a minute.)
OK, I cannot believe that. I just can’t. What is WRONG with her?
Not that being a grandma isn’t the coolest thing in the whole world, but honestly, is she blind? Because on your very worst day, you couldn’t look like a grandma. Not that I’ve ever seen you, of course, but still.
Well, now, hmmmm. I HAVEN’T ever seen you. But in that profile photo, you sure don’t look like a grandma. No grandma could be in that position unless an ambulance was on standby.
Yeah. Obviously, the woman is blind. And completely clueless and very tactless and a little rude, too.
She couldn’t have said “aunt?!”
OH, darlin’! Oh, you poor thing. What a horrible thing for that woman to say. I’m sure it was simply that you have a similar hair color or something like that.
I don’t know if it will make you feel better, but I look EXACTLY like mom. Truly, exactly. When we’re out together, people always say “Oh, you could be sisters!” Now, my mom is pretty and youthful for her age and all that, but she is, in fact SIXTY. I know those people are saying that my mom looks young, but what if–WHAT IF–they’re saying I look old?
Can you tell I have a complex about this?
ah, don’t worry about it. Grandma’s are a hot bunch these days! I was a Grandmom at 37, a Mommy again at 38 and again at 42 so, I just take all the comments in stride. My older boys (24 and 19yrs.) always get accused of having their siblings as their own! AND, best yet, after leaving the hospital to bring our beautiful baby boy home, we ran into McD to get a drink and a fry, and my hubby got accused of being his own sons grandpa. oh my! so how about hotmama instead of boomama???
My mouth dropped open. Did she even hear herself talking??? What woman EVER wants to be mentioned in the same context as another’s grandmother?
You didn’t say how you responded–
When I was doing industrial temp work, most of the women I worked with were grandmothers by the time they were forty. It might be out of fashion for middle class folks, but there are still plenty of people who assume women in their thrities are grandmas. So she may have guessed how old you are, but had different assumptions.
And when my first daughter was born, the nurse asked my husband if he was the grandpa.
I am so sorry! I do not even know you personally, but, girl, I just KNOW that you do not look like a grandma (please do not be insulted, one of my closet friends is a grandma :). All I can say is that mom at that park was Queen CLUELESS!!! You are absolutely hilarious, BooMamaw :).
Kristi
I don’t know what I would do if that were said to me. I am sure you were much more graceful than I imagine myself being.
Ohhhh, BooMama!
I am soooo sorry!
I am sending you a hug!
I would have cringed!
In HIM,
Renee
Awww. So sad. i am sorry. I must say I sympathize. If I have to make a run it NEVER FAILS I always see people I know. Every time I leave my husband says “are you ok seeing someone you know today? just reminding you …” I always say yes….until I see the person I know…working…or shopping….
*sigh* Goodness…
Sorry I haven’t been blogging lately. Been SO super busy, but I’ve accomplished alot!
Kilikina
My Blog
Maybe her grandma is one of the lizard ladies from Miami who has had WAYYY too much work done.
Or maybe the mom was jealous of the attention her daughter was giving you and not her and just had to go for a dig- Yeah. That is what Suzanne would say, too. :>)
Where did she leave her brain….she must have checked it at the door. Hello? You could never look like a grandma….sorry, she simply had a lapse of judgement, or was indeed jealous of her lil darling lovin’ on you. If you even came close to looking like a granny, however, you would indeed be the hippest one there ever was. No Granny I know would wear sassy pants like you do!! ;-)
Just so you’ll know, I AM much closer to the age of a grandmother than you are….and I’m sure I look it…not much sassy left.
I actually laughed OUT LOUD and risked waking my “chillren” at the “BooMamaw” sentence, but I do feel bad for you….I’m right there with you sister.
Oh, I feel for you, I really do. Yes, there are some grandmothers in their 30s, but they’ve had some time to digest it, and probably don’t mind having it said about them because they adore their little one. BUT when you are NOT a grandmother and you ARE as young yourself, well, that was a tad presumptuous of the poor blind woman at the park. (OR, as my southern grandmama–who at 80 is at a good age to be one–would say, “That wo-man was just TACKY.”)
And BooMama, with YOUR outlook on life, you’ll never be old!
It’s 11:11 pm (EST) and your template just up and changed! It’s totally SASSY, but I will miss the old one. The new one is kinda Jetsons of the Fall.
:)
that little whippersnapper…
:) you don’t look a day over 25 from here
Oh my gosh, I just clicked on to make sure my comment showed up and FALL just fell in BooLand!!!! How cool–ha ha! I LIKE IT!!!
like the new look. boomamaw? you make me laugh.
Whew…..that was rough! But I love the Susan Sugarbaker quote (why oh why don’t they put that show on DVD!?!) I like your new template!
Ouch, that musta hurt, but I’m sure you don’t look like a grandmother.
As for the house selling, I did it for a year and recently took my house off the market…too much work cleaning, scrubbing, vacuuming every day and leaving at a moments notice….and no bites! I’ll start again in January, but I feel your stress!
It has happened to me too, although I actually am old enough to be a grandmother. There is only one word for a woman like that — “farsighted” ~ which in the south translates to bitch.
Bless your heart! My hair is what my son calls “black and white.” When he was born, I was 40, and it seemed like every time I went out in public somebody said, “Oh, is that your grandbaby?” I have tried to train my children never to ask: 1) Are you pregnant? or 2) Is that your grandbaby?
I’m hoping we can still be friends, considering I laughed out loud when I read this.
So have you tried getting the discount on coffee when you order those McFries? :)
At least she didn’t say you looked like “the girl baby’s” GRANDPA!!
I just got paid back for laughing. I’m sitting here, typing in my underwear (I do usually wear clothes when I’m on the computer, but I’m fresh out of the shower), and Caiden just asked me if last night’s pumpkin pie was good.
Then he said, “It must’ve been; I can see your tummy sticking out right there. That must be your pumpking pie sticking out.”
And then he patted my flab.
I shouldn’t have laughed.
NO SHE DI-ENT! I’ve known the Boo for close to 20 years, and this park woman must have been crazy! To paraphrase a great political quote of the late 20th Century, “I know grandmothers, and you, my friend, are NO grandmother!” Because if you qualify for the realm of grandmotherhood, I do. And, we ain’t havin’ that!
Aww bless your heart :) Love the Suzanne Sugarbaker reference :) I want to be Julia when I “grow up” ;) xoxo melzie
How crazy is that?! Was the mom 15?
Well, Grams …
I can’t believe she said that. May God have mercy on her soul :) (and her vision)
It was a full Ice Tea Snorted through The Nose Moment in the house … OH YES IT WAS!
I may be back to posting soon- been abit down in the health arena – yuck. Ya know, kidney failure? It can be a real pain in the patootie at times. Who-da thunk-it?
I say cut her a little slack seeing as how her baby is still little enough that the brain cells she lost from giving birth haven’t had time to reform.
Besides, I’m looking at our Savannah pic right now and you don’t look a day over 29; just like me! ;)
oh good heavens! I just don’t even know how I would respond to that!!!
(but it is a funny story and I love the BooMamaw comment!!)
Hope your eyes are still good enough to read these tiny words!
Blessings,
Karla
I just KNOW she meant you look like the old photos of her grandmother…when her grandmother was 25, you know…because that’s what they have in the picture frame in the nursery and all. That’s what she MEANT.
You know, a few years ago I took my 62-yr-old father to the hospital for a procedure and the nurse asked if I was his sister.
I was miffed for at least a week.
Come to think of it, still am.
Did you clock her?
Boomamaw…funniest thing I’ve read all week.
What is it with women? They, of all God’s creatures should know better! My favorite is:
Her: “When are you due?”
Me: “I’m not pregnant.”
Her: (pregnant pause) “Will that be cash or credit?”
Me: (not out loud) “Bite me.”
Well, I missed this post and Sarah told me about it today, so of course I had to come back and read it myself. When I go out with my kids’ kids, I often wonder, when people look at me with pity as I struggle to open or collapse or get through the door the stroller, or some other horrible piece of baby equipment, all sweaty like, they give me this look that says, “Good lord, why didnt that woman use birth control at her age?” and I hope they know I’m the Grammy because I’d rather look frustrated than birth control ignorant. Although actually all three of my precious children are the direct result of the latter. I’m with Sarah, I laughed my head off at this. Maybe its the mean genes? This is one of those times when you think of a great comeback three hours later when it doesnt do a bit of good.
Oh yes, this one had me laughing out loud. Seriously, some of the Boomama laughs make me feel like I’m getting an ab workout, so I’m happy about that. Not laughing at you, laughing with you.
The comments to your blog are as funny as your story.
Don’t feel badly, a Dr. kept questioning my teen daughter’s friend while I had my youngest at a checkup once. I finally had to explain to him that despite my geriatric state I WAS the child’s mother so better to direct the questions he had to me.
Guess that’s what I get for having a baby in my 40s.
Hi Boomama,
I can totally relate to that! Last year, when I asked someone at work if they were going to retire within the next year, (regular retirement age for this profession being 55)the lady replied with “Not yet, I have 3 years left, how about you, don’t you only have a couple of years left also?” WHAT??? I was 41 at the time!!! Many times, I still pass for 38 (LOL)! I don’t know if this woman said it to “get even” since I was assuming she was a bit older, or if she really thought I was like 10 years older! Or maybe, she just needs glasses (LOL)… Anyway, I did get a better concealer, and new lipstick, I’ll show her! Remember, sometimes people just say “stupid” things, we have to remember that “saying doesn’t make it so!”
Bizimama
http://www.bizimama.com
http://www.lordsart.com
oh goodness, Boomamma! I can’t believe she said that…she hasn’t learned the lesson of thinking before speaking, I suppose. Didn’t she notice the sassy pants?! Grandma’s don’t wear sassy pants…at least not form-fitting ones…
Here’s my horror story to make you feel better…My first baby, I gained 15lbs after getting married, then 50lbs pregnancy weight (true confessions are ugly..) Had my baby, she was in intensive care, they sent me home 1 day after a c-section, so day 2 I come shuffling into the hospitial, trying to glide at a slow pace cause of the intense pain!! and as I am waiting for someone to get me a wheelchair, some cruel, blind woman asks me if I am here to have my baby. I mean…the baby was about 10lbs, I was feeling thinner!! I stood there, very hormonal/emotional with a sick newborn and told myself “I will not cry…” (she was not mean/cruel, just said the really wrong thing..) I figured I could never get lower than that, decided to just go with “numb”. I told her “I had the baby 2 days ago” poor thing, she felt horrible I’m sure. I can laugh at it now, but it still stings alittle.
Jenny in Ca