Things That Go “AAAAAAAH” In The Night

Just an hour ago I was sleeping peacefully, dreaming about basements or carpet or windows or some other housing-related topic (oh, don’t roll your eyes – it only makes good sense that my OCD would carry over into my dreamlife since I am unable to quit thinking about basements and carpet and windows in my awake life, and really, it shouldn’t even surprise you anymore when I tell you how weird I am. Because I am BONA FIDE weird, my friends).

But then I heard Alex crying.

And I guess what I mean by ‘crying’ is that he was shrieking with the force of all nature.

So I jumped out from under the covers and ran to the stairs, which, as best my drowsy brain could deduce, was the general vicinity of All The Noise.

The little man was standing about four steps from the bottom landing, pointing wildly in the direction of the dining room while he perfected his high-pitched screaming techniques. I’m still not sure what 1) prompted him to come downstairs or 2) caused him to reach a whole new level of decibel heights, but the bottom line is that he’s now sleeping soundly in our bed, and his daddy and I are wide awake.

I feel that something is wrong with this equation.

But since I’m awake, I will take this opportunity to fill you in on what’s going on in our little neck of the woods, and while it’s probably a bit presumptuous of me to assume that you, you know, care, I really can’t think of anything else to do at 2:53 in the morning except for watching infomercials, and if I do that then I’ll never get back to sleep because I’ll start obsessing about food dehydrators and the Murad skin care system. And Flowbees.

So let’s see.

Alex has started calling one of his buddies from Mother’s Day Out his “brother friend,” and when he says it my heart skips a beat (or nine) because I often pray that if he is our only child, he will have friends who are like family to him. So in that respect, hearing a three year old say “brother friend” is like God reaching down, patting me on the shoulder, and reassuring me that All Is Well.

It makes me smile. And it melts my heart.

In casting news, D was a bit upset that I chose Andrew Shue to play him in the Lifetime movie I created in my head when we were trapped in the car for two days this past weekend when people were showing our house. Frankly I think that D is still carrying around the stereotype of Billy from “Melrose Place,” picturing the guy who stood around shirtless the majority of the time and uttered memorable dialogue like, “UHHHH, Alison!”

I assured my husband that the casting was based solely on people who I thought might be available or willing to make a Lifetime movie – not because they bore any physical or intellectual resemblance to us – but as soon as I finished making my point I realized the insanity, the total insanity, that we were having a discussion – and a lively one, at that – about who we would cast in a Lifetime movie about our real estate misadventures, and clearly it was time to back away from the hypothetical casting ledge.


I have written before about my annoying tendency to completely overlook the obvious.

And so in that tradition, I feel compelled to tell you that yesterday, for the first time in my life, I realized that the phrase “Civil War” is an oxymoron.

Please don’t tell my professors from graduate school. They would be mortified.

Not to mention that when I shared my sudden clarity about this phrase with D, he said, “I don’t think I would tell anyone that.”

But I just did.

You can thank Alex for my exhaustion-induced confession.

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  1. I’ll join your confession–I’d never thought of it, either. All of my history teachers were football coaches, which just might explain my general stupidity in all things history:)

    (Not that there aren’t fantastic history teachers/football coaches out there. They just weren’t at my high school!)

    And are you SO tired today?

  2. Oh I’m laughing because you KNOW I have never recognized that as an oxymoron — brilliant!!! Hamilton had only the FINEST football coaches teaching history — I ditto Sarah!! You need to take a nap when you get home — before all the goblins come out to treat!!

  3. See you are smart when you are sleep deprived!!!

  4. I wish I would’ve known you were up at 2:30 this morning, I would’ve emailed you because I couldn’t sleep with all the coughing of the cougher in the next room.

    I love “brother friend”. It makes my heart melt more than a little. :)

  5. you always make me laugh Boo Mama! I hadn’t given the civil war title too much thought, but now I will.

    Let us all know when the lifetime movie comes out, we will be sure not to miss it. We will all say, I knew her when…

    I hope the little man stays asleep tonight for your sake, tho it does make for fun reading.

    Jenny in Ca

  6. oh my! your sweet little child is really making things crazy lately. do parents ever get to sleep through the night?

    just be thankful you have a husband who will discuss the possibility of your lifetime movie with you. the only channel my husband ever hopes to make an appearance on is espn or maybe fox news.

  7. That ‘brother friend’ comment is priceless. How precious!

    Oh, I laughed out loud about ‘Billy from Melrose’. Fuuunnnnyyyyy!

    I can’t believe you and your husband were actually discussing the Lifetime movie. You crack me up!

  8. You are so smart when you’ve been woken up out of a sound sleep. I never thought of that, either!

  9. Okay – I’ll admit it. I never realized that either. I think you may be on to something.

  10. Where I come from we call it “The War of Northern Aggression.” I’m just sayin’.

  11. I never thought of it either, and I’m not even “dark blonde.” :)

  12. i’ll have to ditto shannon, i don’t refer to it as the civil war either.

    and, ya know in matthew 12:42 it does say that “The Queen of the South will rise up with this generation at the judgment and will condemn it…” lol

  13. Elizabeth says:

    The geek in me must say that…even though war is not “civil”, I’m think that the civil refers to civilians. Aren’t civil wars ones that are fought within borders of the same country by the civilians who live within them? Thus civil war? Just a thought.

  14. I am lol’ing and still wondering what the child was screaming about? The inane’ness of a “civil” war? ;) lololol xoxo melzie

  15. I’ve never thought of that either…pretty funny!

  16. I agree with Liz. Even though she did say, “I’m think…” Maybe we should ask Wendi. She does, after all, hold a degree in History. I’m sure she’s chock full of information.

  17. Wow…as much as I love history I never thought of that either…hmm. Sorry about the kiddo. Maybe he and Andrew can pair up sometime and scream in chorus. :)

  18. I never thought of it either. It’s a pretty obvious oxymoron. And did you ever figure out why on earth that child was up in the middle of the night in another room? I hope you plan to tell us that. What a mystery.

    If I got up at 2:30 in the morning and turned the computer on, I’d probably just stay up the rest of the night. And then I’d really pay for it. All day long.

  19. Hope Alex slept the rest of the night ok
    poor little guy

    Hope u finally got back to sleep again too

  20. okay so why was he screaming?

  21. You ALWAYS make me laugh….well, not always, only when you’re being funny….

  22. Too funny, Miss Boomama!!

    I must admit I have never thought of the Civil War thing, either. On behalf of the blogging world, thank you, Boomama, for enlightening us!!!

  23. A short theory about the screaming….
    my younger brother used to have something called “night terrors.” They are actually fairly common, but usually in kids a little older than your son. Basically, it’s a bad dream that happens usually early in the evening, before getting into REM sleep. (that is the stage of sleep when dreams usually occur) When my brother got them, it was quite common for him to wake up screaming, or to walk downstairs in our house crying and agitated. He never remembered it the next day, and really was never awake, even when he was crying. We would usually get him back in bed pretty easily. I think it’s related vaguely to sleep walking. Eventually he grew out of it.

    Just a thought…..but again, I think your son is a little young. Hopefully it was just a one time thing.

  24. Okay. . .YOUR Sarah is not MY Sarah. . .but most of our history teachers. . .in fact ALL of our history teachers were football coaches too. Yipers!!! And fine men and fathers AND coaches. . .but I don’t recall them figuring the whole civil war thing out. . .nor have I, as a teacher of 15 years, figured it out–so go figure that out! And thanks for sharing, ’cause now I can look REALLY smart!!!

  25. Ok. First of all, Andrew Shue is cute. So, what’s the deal there? At least you didn’t pick the dreaded MICHAEL from Melrose. (who was also cute, but a jerk)

    And, my husband and I have decided that “oxy” translates from Old English which was derived from Latin which came from some other dead language…and it must mean “smart.” Thus, oxymoron is an oxymoron.

    Don’t even ask us where we went to college. :>)

  26. I feel for you! I do. I have seven months old child and a two year old too…they can be loud, and if it’s 2 or 3 AM, so much louder!

  27. You might have a ghost if he was screaming like that. Don’t turn your nose up, Janie and I lived with one for a couple of years.

  28. Mmm, yelling in the middle of the night – kid sleeps, you don’t.
    One of those trial runs we had to do before we got our parenting license. I didn’t take notes, ’cause I thought they were kidding.
    Do you have a copy?

  29. I love the “brother friend” thing. My kids are 5 1/2 years apart, and for a while, we thought Amanda would be an only child. I obsessed about this for a while (meaning, a couple of years, from the time she was one and we decided she might be an “only”). I asked only children what they thought of their situation. Yes, most wished for siblings, but most were happy. They were close to their parents, and my cousin in particular has SO many “sister friends” it’s crazy. My sister and I aren’t all that close. Her “chosen sisters” are bound with her in heart and by choice.

    God did impress upon me that He would take care of my child and fill any need that they might have–whether they were an only by choice, which had been impressed on us by Him, OR by circumstance (biology etc).

    And who would play YOU in the Lifetime movie??

  30. Awww. Your son has a brother from another mother. That’s sweet. Good friends are priceless.

  31. sooo.. what was he pointing at in the dining room?! I was on the edge of my seat and then… nothing! Did he claim to see something, or was he just screaming for the sake of screaming?! I hope you got better sleep last night!

  32. There’s another (much smarter) Elizabeth! I did not make the history comment. Interesting discussion, though!

  33. Trick-or-treat! Hey Boo Mama, this was so fun! Scary the little man was downstairs screaming in the middle of the night. Glad there weren’t any Monsters lurking around your place, “witch” reminds me Happy Halloween! I laughed when you said you OCD carried over into your dreams! hehe! :)