A Block-The-Shots Party

If you live anywhere in the southeastern part of the United States, and if you listened carefully yesterday afternoon around three o’clock central time, you probably heard the sound of Sister and me screaming VERY LOUDLY INDEED as our beloved MSU Bulldogs clinched a piece of the SEC Western Division Championship in an awesomely lopsided victory against the Alabama Crimson Tide. 

(I totally just made up the word “awesomely,” by the way. It’s actually one of the nicer aspects of blogging, the making-up-words part.)

And if your reaction to that first paragraph is “What’s all this crazy talk about some short-legged dogs and a blood-red tide and some random letters from the alphabet and does this have anything at all to do with the Old Testament,” then I’m going to have to ask you to bear with me for a few minutes while I get my college basketball on.

This past Saturday I informed D. and Alex that due to the upcoming match-up between MSU and Bama, I was Officially Reserving the TV in our living room from one until three on Sunday afternoon. They were welcome to join me, of course, but they need not harbor any hopes of watching “Blue’s Clues” or “Heroes” or anything else. I had big plans for transforming our living room into a my own personal hillbilly sports bar – free-flowing diet Coke, all-you-can-eat peanuts, so many WOOOO-HOO!s flying around that you might just wonder if Bo and Luke Duke had stopped by for a visit – and I would not be deterred.

Now I have no idea why I can’t act, you know, normal as far as MSU sporting events are concerned. All I know is that if you put me anywhere near the vicinty of an MSU basketball game, it’s almost like some alien force takes over my body and transforms me from a relatively mild-mannered wife and mother into a delirious YOU’D BETTER DUNK THAT BALL RIGHT NOW OH YES SIR YOU’D BETTER lunatic.

And, for the record, I believe the “alien force” I mentioned is what The Doctors and The Scientists and The Mental Health Professionals refer to as THE CRAZIES.

When Emma Kate and I went to the State / LSU game a few weeks ago, she was very tickled (and somewhat alarmed) by my repeated use of the phrase “COME ON, NOW” during the basketball game. However, what EK did not realize is that screaming “COME ON, NOW” is Deeply Spiritual, and I know this because our former pastor used to say it frequently (albeit quietly) when he was particularly moved during a song or a sermon. I guess I took it upon myself to transfer “COME ON, NOW” from the sanctuary to the sporting arena, but please don’t judge me because at least I don’t scream “AMEN” when somebody hits a three-pointer at the buzzer.

Though I absolutely would if it were even remotely appropriate.

Needless to say, yesterday I yelled “COME ON, NOW” two or fifty four times, and about midway through the game, I noticed that I had somehow added another word and was actually shouting, “COME ON, NOW, SON.”

The only possible explanation for such strange diction is that at some point right before halftime I switched bodies with an 80 year old grandfather who was somewhat hard of hearing and apparently felt that if he referred to players by a familial moniker, the players would pay extra attention to him when he screamed instructions at them through the TV screen.

In the end, all the screaming and hillbillying and body-switching paid off. The Bulldogs won 91-67, and by late in the afternoon I was back to normal again. With “normal” being a relative term, of course.

But don’t worry, y’all: the SEC tournament starts in about three days, so you can rest assured that THE CRAZIES will be back on full display this Friday at noon when the Bulldogs take the court once again.

Normal never lasts long around these parts. Of this you can be sure.

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Comments

  1. Emma Kate says:

    I hope we’re both yelling “Come On Now” on Saturday at 12 Noon!!!!While we’re both in Atlanta, of course!!! Go Dawgs!!

  2. If you watch college basketball like we do in our house, there is a lot of clapping and tongues sticking out of the corner of our mouths in finger-crossing anticipation at each foul shot. Heck yeah for college basketball.

  3. SON!!! (wiping off screen now from spitting my soda on it)

  4. GO BULLDOGS! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for another win on Saturday!
    GO! FIGHT! WIN!
    D-D-D-DEFENSE!
    (this is football, right?)

  5. 67! 67! The score was 91-67! We beat them by 24 points! 24! For the love of Pete, please change the score in your post! Come on now, SON!

  6. Phyllis R. says:

    COME ON NOW, you are FUNNY. I would like to send up a hillbilly “Woo Hoo” for you and your dawgs. Now, if you had wupped the Longhorns, I could not be glad for you. But you beat ‘Bama!! Way to go!! Good luck Friday!

    P.S. “Woo hoo” and “wupped” are words that I don’t normally use, or frankly even think of, but somehow this post just brought them out in me, son!

  7. This post made me laugh real loud. I say “come on now” a lot too during games. ha! We have 2 guys in our sunday school class who are MSU grads and one came to church in his bulldog sweatshirt last night and sat in the middle of all of us hog fans. But ya’ll deserve it – good to see you winning!

  8. COME ON, NOW!

    I corrected the score.

    I hardly think it’s my fault what with being excited out of my mind and all.

    Also, number of times I’ve watched Ben Hansbrough drain the three as the shot clock buzzer sounded: NINE.

    It’s a sickness, really.

  9. Son, I did a play-by-play at the office this morning for anybody who would listen.

  10. I have to say that watching or talking about sports for me is usually extremely painful. Although I really love to watch the sports spectators themselves, I can’t bring myself to sit through a full sports game of any kind (not even hockey which everyone knows is the best sport to watch because teeth fall out). I’m sorry I can’t join you on this one sister! But good on ya! I’m sure you have earned some hubby points!

    I can somewhat relate an eensy weensy teeny tiny bit because I did watch the BSU Broncos win the final touchdown in this year’s Fiesta Bowl and literally peed my pants (I delivered a baby 3 years ago). That is my one and only sports fanatical moment. I did enjoy that.

    Good times. Go team sports. :)

    Jamie

  11. While I haven’t shouted Amen! at a college sporting event, I would be lying if I said I haven’t shouted Hallelujah!

    If the Aggies and the Bulldogs were to make it to the Final Four?

    Son, I’d beg, borrow and steal to get us tickets. Come on, now!

  12. NOW NOW! No Bama Bashing!!! I am a ROLL-TIDER ALL THE WAY!!!! However, I could care a hoot about the basketball season! Wait til September, you can then come visit the crazies over at the Pumkin Patch!!!! They will be there every Sat. until the end of Nov.!!!!

  13. I must confess, I am a California girl and had to Google MSU to figure out whether you were Mississippi or Missouri. The southeast reference at least kept me away from Michigan, Montana and all the Minnesota MSU’s. Growing up in CA one becomes oblivious to the distinguishment of other state Universities as we are trying to keep up with our own 20/30? something State Universities, not to mention the UC Univer.’s. It takes me awhile. My husband would be totally embarassed by my admission here – He would say “Bulldogs” – DUH!!!! It took me 1 year in IA to properly distinguish Iowa State from U of I – and their respective mascots and locations. Over 4 years there, I gained an appreciation for the alumni support and fan base that Universities have outside my dysfunctional homestate. My hubby will be up in the wee hours during the next month trying to catch the games and then restricting the computer until he can watch replays. March Madness begins!

  14. I, in no way want to even attempt to think I “know” you, but just from what I’ve been reading over the past few months I never would’ve thought you to be ANY kind of sports fan. This post cracked me up! I always like to see a good “alien” attack from sports fans.

    Rock on!

  15. Cracking up imagining an elderly BooMama yelling at her TV in the future. Sports bring out our interesting sides, no doubt. My own Mean Green (UNT) are in the conference championship tonight! For the first time in 11 years! I don’t even know how my dear husband is containing his excitement. Or me, for that matter. I’m really beginning to love college sports.

  16. Go dawgs!! I, too, watched our beloved “sons” woop the Tide!!! Nothing better on a Sunday afternoon than that, is there?!? And to top it all off, my hubby’s and my BFs stop by on their way back to T-town, and being the UA fans they are, proceded to TURN DOWN THE VOLUME ON MY TV when they noticed the score!! Now what’s a gracious Southern belle host to do? I, in the most polite loud voice I could muster, told him to TURN IT BACK UP! :)

    March has to be one of my favorite months of the year–can’t get enough March madness!! I’m not sure my girlfriends get it when I schedule my day around basketball games. What’s up with them?!?

    Let me say it again: GO DAWGS!!

  17. I love your explanation of the evolution of your “dunk the ball” to “come on now, son.” Thank you. I will start my day with a little skip in my step.

    And maybe on Friday, you can channel that 80-yr old grandpa again and say “Come on now, (scooter, boy, turbo, etc. whatever you feel like inserting.)”

    Personally, when I watch the Mavs, I like to repeatedly say, “Get it.”

  18. suzanne says:

    Hmmmmm, I’ve often wondered where Alex gets his enthusiasm…..????Do you, by any chance, KNOW? Son? ;-)

  19. While I love ya dearly and this post made me laugh, I will not be able to root for your Bulldogs unless UK or Duke gets booted out of the tournament, which is VERY likely this year. Are y’all getting to go to the SEC tourney? You Dawg!

  20. Bethany says:

    Can’t say I’m a MSU bulldog fan, but I do cheer my Samford bulldogs on almost as loud as you do. I get pretty crazy myself. My bulldogs didn’t win their championship game for an automatic bid to the NCAA….so I guess I can say a few cheers for your dogs.

  21. Actually, I am a Bama fan but my husband is an MSU grad. I know all about the CRAZIES and I am thrilled to know there are other women out there that fall victim to them like I do!

    Rachel Langston

  22. Am I the only one in the entire comments section that is yelling “GO GATORS!!”? What a disgrace. COME ON NOW, people! :)

  23. I know that the state of Arkansas was cheering on your Bulldogs on Sunday so that our beloved Razorbacks could get a better seed in the SEC tourn. So for one short day I was a MSU fan but starting Thursday I will go back to rooting for my Arkansas Razorbacks!! Go Hogs!

  24. Looks like our Cats might meet up with your Dogs on Friday. Woop!

    Too bad I moved away and can’t get ANY of the games on TV. Have to read about them on the internet. At least there’s that!

    You can bet I’ll be watching the NCAA tourney!! My husband knows to steer clear during those games, too!

  25. GO DAWGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I’m proud to be a crazy Dawg as well.

    Do they still have “Rick’s Rowdies” at the games? Or does that age me a whole lot?! I haven’t gotten to go to a basketball game since I moved away in ’96, so I’m out of the loop.

  26. Congrats on the big win! Now that our Aggies are getting to experience the joy that is basketball in March, I can truly appreciate the screaming and the jumping and all the rest. I’ll be cheering for y’all. Unless you’re playing the Ags, of course. :-)

  27. I’m an MSU Bulldog graduate. I had browsed your site the day that you posted the Domino’s phone number, and it made me laugh OUT LOUD because I recognized the number and thought – she must have gone to State! Recognized from, well I won’t say how how many, years ago – but, I wasn’t sure enough to post a comment. Now that I see this, I believe my memory did not fail me.

    Good to find another blogging bulldog. I enjoy your site – you make me laugh.

  28. To date, I haven’t invoked “Come on, now, SON,” but I have absolute, unwavering faith that going red in the face and screeching “LET’S GO, BOYS!” at our television screen encourages the Longhorns on to sure victory whenever they hit the gridiron. I learned the hard way that this encouragement loses all effectiveness when it’s delivered in person, which is why we lost to the Aggies this year. Mea culpa, boys.

    So my blood runs burnt orange, but it’s tinged with maroon: sister, daddy and granddaddy all went to State, and I grew up rooting for the losingest team in the SEC, but always believing deep in my heart that next year, NEXT YEAR, Emory Ballard would lead us to the national championship that was so rightfully ours.

    You can only imagine how conflicted I felt, years later, when we trucked on down to Starkville from Austin and watched my maroon boys beat the snot out of my burnt-orange boys. Laugh or cry? I did a little of both.

    Now, as long as y’all promise not to cross our path while we enjoy our freshman Durant for just a little while longer, I’ll happily root for State this weekend. Come on, now, sons.

  29. The Mean Green are dancing! Only the second time in school history. And since I actually know a couple of players, I really do feel like my comments to the TV are effective.

  30. Preach it sista-

    I understand all about the crazies. I am a HUGE Gator fan. We went to the SEC football championship and I lost all sense of what was normal. I (sorry, I must admit it) stood up and clapped and gave everyone around me high fives. I even jumped up and down and hugged my husband when they won.

    I mean, come on…why does this happen to us!!?!?!