I recently read in a highly-esteemed political publication People magazine that Lindsay Lohan is about to turn 21.
For some reason it made me think about what I’d say to my 21 year-old self if I could in fact turn back the hands of time, which of course I cannot, primarily because math gives me a headache, and I hear there are some formulas and stuff involved in time travel. And perhaps even algebra.
Anyway, here is the profound wisdom I have for, well, the former me:
“Stirrup pants? Really?”
I feel these two questions could change my 21 year-old self’s life. All for the better, mind you.
Which makes me wonder: what would you tell the 21 year-old version of you?
And if you’re just now 21, let me say this: I am so happy for you and all your adorable 21-ishness, but as someone completely (and happily) mired in her 30’s, I may need a little mercy in terms of hearing about your youthful vigor and youthful skin and all-around youthful youthiness.
Because I am tired and, might I add, increasingly wrinkled. And reading about how cute and energetic you are might make me sad. Not to mention a light shade of green.
However, I am genuinely tickled to death that you’re not having to try to ROCK SOME STIRRUP PANTS in order to make a trendy fashion statement. You should be grateful for the rest of your days that you have been spared such an indignity.
Have a lovely Monday, everyone.
Well, you never know… 21-year-old-wife-and-mama-of-soon-to-be-two could probably find a pair of those stirrup pants sold in the mall as a cute “new” fashion item these days, what with this 80’s revival going on, ya know. But don’t worry… they’d never even make it to my “trying on” pile. I’ve seen enough pictures of my mama in them. :grin:
Not to totally squash a very funny post, but…
By the time I turned 21, I had been married 18 months and had a 7 month old daughter. I was also back in college full-time and recovering from a horrible car accident (severing tendons in my left hand, requiring plastic surgery to reconstruct the hand and months of therapy to regain its use).
Here is what I would have told to my 21-yr old self:
HANG ON
HOLD TIGHT
HAVE FAITH
One day you will once again live without pain, sleep through the night, see your daughter (and children that will come) grow to be wonderful lights in your life, and love your husband more than you think is possible. Your Father in Heaven will never forget you and will guide you, if you will have the strength to follow.
Thankfully, though my future self wasn’t there to tell me those things at 21, I had a lot of loving friends and family who were there.
So…to those who are older and wiser, share your wisdom – on matters of faith (or fashion!). You never know how much it will end up meaning to someone who needs to hear it.
I am just wondering if you matched your socks to your shirts and wore the bulkiest ones you could find, completing the outfit with a pair of high top Reeboks?
Of course, I have only seen that done…………(yeah right).
Stirrup pants made me look like Gumby. I now wonder why I didn’t just walk away. Cute post!
To my 21 year old, beginning grad school self I would have said…
Knowing Jesus, really knowing Him, will begin the greatest adventure of your life.
(And I wouldn’t have said “psyche!” afterwards)
Dear Jeana,
There are two hinges in your jaw, which means that it will close. Not that you’ve ever tried it out, but every once in a while you might want to. Then maybe you wouldn’t have to taste that glittery toenail polish quite so often.
Love,
Me
I’d tell my 21 yr. old self that I do have value, but that value is bestowed on me because of who my creator was/is, not because of who I am or what I have overcome. So, stop being arrogant and so independent. It’s okay to lean on someone once in a while.
I’d also tell myself to forgive and move on. Staying hurt and angry isn’t worht it.
Dear 21-YO GGW:
You can run from a bad engagement, but you can’t run from yourself! Quit destroying yourself and listen to your friend, Cina. She’ll help with your ‘tude and your BAD, BAD fashion sense! The hippy theme is over, honey!
Love, Me
Dear Janet,
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! And NO, you are NOT FAT!!! Anyone who wears a size 4 is nowhere near fat and you need to enjoy how easy it is for you to look the way you do NOW. Eventually you’ll have to REALLY work on it and the size 4’s will be a distant memory.
And also, Wade is your future hubby and loves you very much. Quit worrying over everything and trust what you know in your heart: God sent this man to you and is not going to take him away.
And please…PLEASE spend more time studying and less time putting together your outfits. PLEASE.
Love,
35-year-old Me
Dear Melissa,
WARNING! DANGER AHEAD! I know you don’t feel that you’re good enough, and you just want to be loved. I want to introduce you to someone who will do that (and so much more) for you. He’s the only one who can. All of your other attempts are in vain, sweet one. Just trust Him & you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache.
Love,
Me
P.S. – Boo…had the stirrups & LOVED them (of course, 21-year old, size 4 me would!) Also had the Sam & Libby ballet flats to go with them. Yes, ma’am I did!
To the 21-year-old me, who had just gotten married, who had just started a true relationship with Jesus, who had just started college, I’d say “Wow, honey, take a lot of pictures, because this time is gonna FLY and before you know it you’ll be 31 and a half, with two kids and there will be days that you’ll wonder what it was like to be 21 and newly married with no kids because you’ll hardly remember being here!!”
I linked here from…someplace that I can’t remember…is that pathetic or what? I love your blog!!
BooMama,
Do not feel bad about your stirrup pant choice. We were ALL just trying to be cool.
And if it’s any consolation, in Spiderman 3, after he meets the Sandman for the first time, we all get to see that Spidey is rockin’ the stirrup pants too.
And He’s a DUDE.
We should all just feel better. right. now. about. that.
Okay, I loved the stirrup pants at the time! I wouldn’t wear them now, but at the time I LOVED them!
Now, to my 21 year old self, or actually probably to my 19 year old self, “Go to college and get some kind of diploma before you start a family, it will be much harder if you wait until you have 2 kids! Oh, and yes, you will one day be a Pastor’s wife, so be prepared!” LOL
Well, it’s too late for the 21 yr old me, but I sure would love to be able to have a conversation with the 21yr old her! I’m sure I’d get a lot of eye rolls and all, but that’s ok.
Self,
That haircut only works if your name is Dorothy and you’re an Olympic figure skater….
Dear 21 year old me,
Just because Purple Passion tastes like grape soda, it doesn’t mean you should drink it in abundance.
You know, we were just talking at work the other day about former fashions. I realize that some of these are far before my “21” days, but what about peg pants, banana clips and those o-so-attractive denim purses? The mass abuse of hairspray, while burning my hair up with a curling iron, spraying my hair with hairspray, pulling it up on one side (of course), and drying it to stiffness that could have withstood the winds of Katrina– yikes! What were we thinking?! Did you ever read the book “If Only I Had a Green Nose?” I can only figure that he wrote that for us.
By 21 I had been married 3 years and was baby #2. Advice to that youngster?
“Chicky, You are not the Holy Spirit. Trust GOD to lead your husband and then follow.”
(God has been faithful. In SPITE of all our selfish mistakes, I just celebrated 25 years of marriage to my highschool sweetheart.)
Gayle,
You’re being a dork and this guy is messing up your life. He ain’t worth it honey. Oh….and a little less hairspray please!
Dear me,
Enjoy this time. Enjoy your time without the responsibility of husband and children. When they do come, they will be the light of your life. But, for now, enjoy time for yourself without feeling selfish.
Love,
35-soon-to-be-36-year old Katie
I would say, avoid spraying your hair out three inches on each side. This style begins to look like horns poking out of your head after an hour. All the hairspray touch ups throughout the day can dry out your hair, make it fall out, and cause you to go blind. LOL.
Bangs were not meant to look like a poodle on one’s forehead.
Someday you’ll be glad your finacee and future husband didn’t let you register for the bedspread that looked like neon vomit.
Being a Mom is way better than being a famous journalist.
Well, I’m about to turn 25, but I totally agree with you on the stirrup pants. I’m just looking back and talking to my teenaged self when I have these questions! I also question the flowered vests. I mean really!
I married at 18 and by the time I was 21 was expecting my second. I do not regret it at all! I am now a grandmother. I am still young enough to enjoy the grand kids.
I do wish i had been more careful with my health. At 21 one feels invincible. At 41…not so much!!
Dear 21 year old me,
Wearing the off-white stirrup pants with the oversized, emphasize-your-badonkadonk booty for your wedding shower isn’t the best idea ever.
See that man you are walking towards down the aisle? Laugh with him, and don’t take him for granted; he’s going to put up with SO much in the next 14 years.
You can only use your red hair as an excuse for a bad temper for so long. One day it will be going gray. So reign it in, girl.
Love,
35 year old me.
Dear 21,
That guy you’re probably on the phone with right now? Bad news. He will waste your time and you’ll gladly give it unless you hang up RIGHT. NOW. In fact, close your eyes to men for a while, and just study. Quit acting like you’re in 8th grade and enjoy learning to be an adult. God’s got the answers in His Word if you’ll just look. (But if you just can’t help yourself, Matt VG *will* be your husband, just like you thought he might last year. But give it time.)
And take congregational hymn-playing. It’ll help later on.
Seriously. Get off the phone.
I would have told myself that “The Mothers’s Curse” my Mom threatened me with daily was not an idle threat! You know the one – “Someday you will have a child just like you……..”.
Mom – a job well done! I have 3 – all girls!
Does crying UNCLE work?
Dear Newly Married 21 Year Old Self,
Yes you…the hopeless romantic who has her entire life figured out. Please listen to me now and be ok with the fact that “Your Plan” and “God’s Plan” will indeed be two totally different things. And it will be ok. Save yourself the time and put your energy elsewhere…because despite your best controlling efforts, God ends up winning in the end. It’s all good, actually great, and, trust me, you wouldn’t have it any other way!
Oh, and go ahead and trust that cute new hubby of yours…he will end up being more than the man of your dreams and will be your rock through 6 years of miscarriage and infertility. Go ahead and let him lead…God has blessed him with wisdom beyond his years.
As far as fashion goes, just enjoy the size 6 closet full of clothes. Even though there may very well be a pair of stirrup pants or two in there, because trust me when I say you might very well consider wearing a pair of stirrup pants again if only a size 6 would still fit!
Dear 21 year old me,
Wearing the off-white stirrup pants with the oversized, emphasize-your-badonkadonk booty for your wedding shower isn’t the best idea ever.
See that man you are walking towards down the aisle? Laugh with him, and don’t take him for granted; he’s going to put up with SO much in the next 14 years.
You can only use your red hair as an excuse for a bad temper for so long. One day it will be going gray. So reign it in, girl, and give it to God.
Love,
35 year old me.
Dear Clemntine at 21,
Enough with the DRAH-MAH, already. There’s plenty of that around the next corner, and you won’t have to manufacture a moment of it. CHILL, girl!
Love,
Clemntine at 39
PS: Party like it’s 1999 while you can, girlie!
Dear 21 year old me:
“Enjoy your little-ness while you can. Take pictures and lots of them to look back on. Rid yourself of the guy you’re seeing….AND FAST. Don’t be in hurry to find someone. Just settle down and in God’s timing, the right guy God has for you will show himself.
Enjoy the style of the stirrup britches and flat shoes, poofy hairstyle, and dark makeup, because it’ll change and then it’ll show up again 1 year.”
NOTE: I settled down about 4 years later and married the guy God had for me all along. We were actually in school together in highschool but were both shy and didn’t talk. He was practically in my backyard the whole time. Now we have a 15 mo old son and a baby on the way. God is good, merciful, gracious!!
Oh, my — STIRRUP PANTS!!! I held onto those things as long as I could and actually have a picture in 1991 of me wearing a pair!!! WHAT IN HEAVENS NAME WERE WE THINKING??? Did we actually think that in order to keep our pants on we had to have elastic stirrups around our feet safely tucked away in our shoes??? Now, I just wish they put the stirrups up at the top to keep the low risers up where they need to be!!! :)
I was married to Chris at 20 and we were students at Texas A&M…yes, those stirrup pants (they really hurt the bottom of your feet, too!). How about those courderoy shorts with tights??? I was a size seven then (oh those were the days) and even then the cords made you look chunky.
I’d also tell myself to lay off those carbs!! Pasta anyone? So now I’m working out what I then worked in :) (reaping what I sowed and trying to throw off what hinders)
Oh and I’d finally tell myself to “chill out” and laugh more and not be so very sensitive about everything.
Blessings on ya Girl!
Holly
I simply would’ve said:
“GET OVER YOURSELF, CHICK.”
My 21-year-old self is only four years ago, since I’m about to be 25. HOWEVER, I would totally tell her to get over herself and that she isn’t really a freaking liberal.
Boy, I haven’t thought about stirrup pants in a long, long time. It’s just one of those things you really want to forget, you know? Can you believe we actually wore those awful things?
My 21 year old self was about 35 years ago. I know for sure what I’d have said to myself was, why are you staying in this horrible marriage? Get out! Unfortunately, it was my 27 year old self that finally listened.
21 year old me:
YOU ARE NOT FAT.
But you will be, so keep eating until your metabolism dies.
I would tell myself the following:
“I know you think you’re a total cow. Moo. But instead of going on yet another diet, just focus on keeping the figure you now have. Don’t let it get any worse. Because in nine years you are going to look back at your figure and realize that a size 8 really is just about perfect. I won’t tell you what size you will become by the time you’re 30, because it would just depress you. Or maybe I should, because it would motivate you to get off your duff.
Also, start saving money now. Please. You won’t even begin to remember all the things you just have to have right now.
And finally, spend time with your Grandpa, because he won’t be around much longer.
Dear 21 yr.old Me,
Purity is without a doubt so, so worth it!!! You are going to get your socks blessed off with an awesome marriage because of it, so don’t give in or comprimise.
This is an awesome post! Oh, the witness I could impart onto my 21-year-old self…
I can’t believe Lindsay Lohan is going to be 21… she just seems so young to me. And 21 used to seem old. But now it does seem pretty young, come to think of it. :)
Sorry – my thoughts are a bit scattered today!
Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls
Wow, I really AM scattered today… “witness” was supposed to be “wisdom.”
Yikes!
21 Sha,
You don’t have to be right all the time. No, you’re not all that. Your entire family will love you all the better for it. And you’ll be SO much more maliable for God.
Quit trying to find acceptance in anyone else. All you need is God.
Oh, and don’t get your hair cut after having your girl. It’s so bad that your daughter will cry just looking at you and not know who you are. Seriously.
36 year young Sha
Dear 21,
You will NEVER look like Jennifer Aniston, so stop with the shag haircut already! And that’s okay!
Also, that guy is NOT who God intends for you. He thinks he’s better than you. Wait for the guy who thinks you are better than HIM. He is awesome!
Love,
10 years later
Dear 21 year old me,
Don’t you listen to what those schmucks say. You did NOT NOT NOT throw away little Joey like a bag of garbage. You loved that little boy enough to give him up for adoption!
Please be patient with yourself and brace yourself for the biggest battles of your life starting in the year 2000. You’re going to need all the strength and force of will to get through it all. Please remember to get those from God, for without Him you’ll falter and begin to doubt that you’re doing your family any good at all.
And for goodness sakes, learn to pick your friends better.
I would first of all slap my 21-year-old self in the face and scream “Snap out of it!” And then I would tell me to raise the bar and to stop understimating my own value. And then of course I would tell myself to skip the whole Flash Dance torn shirt trend.
Stirrup Pants!! Some of the worst pictures that I have of myself are the ones where I am wearing those. Whoever it was that decided to make those things popular should get his brain checked (of course I chose to wear them, so maybe the same shoudl be said for myself as well!)
Dear self–Keep a journal! Write down your courtship before you forget it! Not to mention your wedding, honeymoon, and newlywed year! It’s a good one!
Dear Ashley,
Start saving money, right now. Do not assume that just paying the minimum on your school loans is the best idea. Stop giving in to all your impulse desires; it’s only going to be harder to stop in the future. Live simply and save as much as you can. You’ll appreciate it when you realize that all you want to be is a stay-at-home wife but you have to keep working so the bills get paid.
And you know that guy that broke your heart? Don’t worry – you’ll marry him someday. But God’s gonna teach you a lot in the meantime. It seems forever right now, but you’ll look back and feel like the time just flew.
Love, Me
Dear 21 year old me,
1. He’s GAY!
2. Platinum blonde hair does NOT become you.
3. The love of your life IS coming!
My question about stirrup pants is–Why did your generation even go there, when we had proven what a bad, bad choice they were 30 years before? I guess we forgot to tell you!
To My 21 year old self I would say–
God DOES love you and have a wonderful plan for your life! You have no idea what is coming and how many blessings you will experience along the way. You better get ready, Girl!
here’s what I would say to my 21-year old self: You are not fat. In fact, do your best to stay close to your current weight, and you will be good for life. Watch out though, because 1 or 2 pounds can *so* easily become 10 or 20 for you. Maintaining is much easier than losing, so don’t go there to begin with!
Bossy will see your Stirrup Pants and raise you one pair of Leg Warmers.
Dear Self,
When told that all these impossibly difficult things are just preparation for what comes later, don’t laugh. It’s true.
Love,
Ladanea
Oh my goodness. I had totally blocked out stirrup pants! Do you think there is any possibility that they will come back? I would hate to see my daughter in these.
This summer marks my 18th anniversary of being 21. I am so different today that I’m sure I wouldn’t listen to myself. We knew everything then, right? Funny how that changes to feeling like you have so much to learn.
Hey 21-year-old self, go easy on the hubby when you get married next year. Don’t nit pick him to death. The wedding is going to turn out fine, so chill out and let that tic you’ve developed fade away.
Dear 21 year old me,
Stop it. Seriously, stop it. Stop sleeping with him. Stop lying to everyone. Stop hating yourself. YOU’RE NOT FAT! Stop hurting yourself. God is good and He loves you. God will bring you a wonderful husband (he’s hiding right in front of you) and the children you’ve always dreamed of. Finish college. You won’t have time later. Get over yourself and relax – trust God and just give in to Him. Stop fighting. And you know what, your parents are just doing the best they can, but they don’t know everything. God can speak to you, too. Stand up for yourself and what you really want. Trust me, the time will come when you’ll wish you’d had more practice at it.
And enjoy that convertible. Someday you’ll be happy just to have automatic windows in your minivan.
Lastly, don’t ever take people you love for granted. Cultivate your friends. Someday they will be the sisters you never had. And go to the doctor. Take care of your heart, literally. It’s not as strong as you think it is.
Love,
Your 33 year old me
Just reading all the rest of these makes me wonder what my 50 yr old self would say to me right now!
A late entry, but worth it: LAY OFF THE TWEEZERS. And the dark hair dye. Oi.
Dear Me,
1. You’re not fat. (isn’t it sad that so many of us are saying this?)
2. You don’t know everything.
3. You cannot change others. Do you hear me? You cannot change others.
4. You CAN have an attitude of contentment regardless of your situation.
5. Stirrup pants look hideous on you, but leggings are okay. :)
The advice I would give to my 21 year old self is not so different than the advice I probably still need: Just keep your thoughts to yourself, already!!
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=27709&itemType=PRODUCT&iProductID=27709
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