Last night I got a text message from my friend Tracey. Since I am officially the World’s Least Efficient Texter (it’s true, and I know that because I have consulted with experts), I stood in my kitchen and concentrated with all my might in order to compose a reply.
I just can’t work that keypad, y’all. I think I may need a tutor.
Anyway, it took me a full five minutes to reply (I believe I was trying to text something along the lines of “Yes. I do.”), and before I could relax from THE STRESS OF IT ALL, T. had sent me another message.
Y’all can’t even imagine the pressure.
Apparently Tracey got restless waiting for me to text her again and decided to call. Quite frankly I was terribly relieved to hear her voice because it was taking a sweet forever to insert a question mark into my message.
Oh, you’d better believe that I text with proper punctuation.
Perhaps this is part of my texting problem.
So while Tracey and I settled into a conversation covering a varied list of topics – including but not limited to Dollar Tree, ATMs, class reunions, summer camps and spray-on tans – D. decided to call Martha, who had left us a voicemail earlier in the evening.
But first, some context.
Very few people in my hometown know about my blawg. Part of the reason for that is WHY WOULD THEY CARE, but another part of the reason is that I don’t talk about it. I did ‘fess up to my friends Amanda and Lance this past weekend, but that was only because I wanted them to have a way to stay up-to-date with our family.
(While I don’t have photographic evidence to prove it, I’m pretty sure that my head exploded just a tiny bit as I was telling them about it.)
(Because the whole thing is very awkward for me.)
(We can explore that topic another day in the company of some licensed professionals.)
Well.
Somehow Martha’s dear friend Mary Ann’s daughter (got that? good. there will be a quiz later.) found out about my blog and saw that I had mentioned Mary Ann in one of my posts. This post, in fact. And so the daughter, H., called Mary Ann and said, “Mama, did you know that you’re on the internet? With Martha?”
Mary Ann in turn called Martha and said, “Martha! We’re famous! Our names are on the internet! On the computer! On BooMama!”
Just so you know: Mary Ann had never heard of BooMama before. But God love her for being tickled to death about it.
When Martha heard Mary Ann’s news, she said, “Oh, BooMama! BooMama.com! BooMama.com! That’s S.’s website! BooMama.com! BooMama.com!”
At that point D. interrupted the story to say, “Um, Mother? It’s .net.”
“OH NO – I’ve gotten it ALL WRONG! I thought it was .com! .com!”
Martha went on to tell D. that she wishes that she could, you know, READ the blog, but that would involve a computer and an internet connection – neither of which she has. Mary Ann doesn’t have a computer, either, and while Martha’s friend Julia Claire does have a computer, Martha is very adamant that Julia Claire’s computer is “only for ordering things. She can only use it for ordering things!”
I’m sure we’ve all seen those order-only computers in the catalogs.
So. Here is my serious question.
How can we get Martha in the bloggy loop, y’all?
We’ve looked into a Presto, but I’m just not sure that’s the best option because it’s email only (although if you have any experience with one, I’d love to know). It wouldn’t be difficult to copy and paste my posts into an email, but then she’d miss out on all the interaction via the comments – and that’s oftentimes the best part.
And I’m sure I could figure out a way to text her the blog posts, but I think it’s probably a bad idea to expect a 70-something woman to read paragraph after paragraph on a 2 x 2 screen.
Not to mention my severe texting limitations. Which we’ve already addressed.
So.
Any ideas?
My 90year old Nana has a webtv that has been rather successful. She loves “her web” and you can search with it, too.
We like it.
I got nothing.
I’M BACK!!!
NO internet since Tuesday- and I can type without twitching. Too much.
Anywho-
Maybe you could set her up with Presta – then set up a Bloglines account with hew email address and all your new posts could be emailed to her.
I have no clue if that would work. Honestly. But, I’m trying to be all logical and stuff. You know, since I’m really glad to have internet and everything.
And I missed the M/N giveaway- SAD.
Well, once I catch up on 692! New! Bloglines! Posts! – I’ll have to put up my 100 Tings I Learned While Moving. A hint- there will be power outages, fire trucks and hair rollers.
My 80-year-old grandfather went nuts over his WebTV.
I used to have WebTV back in the day when it first came out and I loved it! You couldn’t download anything, but you could surf the net which is probably all she’d be doing anyway! I’m not sure what the price is, or honestly, if they even have WebTV anymore, but that might work for ya?
print it out each day and give her a big book for christmas.
I think you need to download the whole thing and put it in some kind of a binder. You know, in case the whole internet thing turns out to be a bust anyway.
Big Mama,
You are *too* funny! Thanks for the laugh!
But, it’s not a bad idea to make a book of it. hat would be neat for historical preservation, but rather untimely. What about a really cheap computer that does, at least to Martha’s knowledge, only the internet?
Printing it out post by post, including comments, is a great way to have her read it maybe?
Steph
She can come to my house. Anytime.
the web tv is nice. And there are ways to have blog posts/updates emailed to you (as opposed to having to go to bloglines and figure that all out)
OH! And I just got an email from a wonderful young man by the name of Brian Peterson who said he is mailing out my M&N CD!! I didn’t think I got one, but I did! If I had known they were in Franklin I would have hopped on I-65 and picked it up today instead of having to wait until Thursday for it ;0)
Blessings,
Karla
Library access with a tutorial class from them? Don’t laugh to hard. Can’t remember if Martha drives. I’m sure that if she does, it isn’t proper for a Southern woman to pump gas. And, I am sure that she would be a 10 and 2 girl only with her hands clutched so firmly that she probably couldn’t turn the wheel. But, I’m certain that it would be accessorized with an array of fringe pillows. In a floral pattern. UV protected. Oooo, and scotch guard. :)
My 81yr old Grannie swears by her WebTV. SLOW as molasses, but works for her needs. We bought her a laptop for Christmas, but she refused to learn what all the “fancy” buttons were for. She is back on the Webtv, reading my blog. She even has an 82yr old friend with her own blog. My grannie knew about blogs before I did.
I don’t have any ideas for you, but I’m right with you on the texting. I can’t even figure out how to do punctuation. I’m going to get my teenage daughter to teach me. She’s the one who convinced me to get it so she can let me know she’s safely reached wherever she is going without having to go through the awful embarrassment of actually having to talk to her mother on the phone. In front of her friends!
I’m with Slava Bogu on this one. I’d get her a computer. A desktop, not a laptop. And I set her up with email. And instead of scaring her with bloglines and all that, I’d simply put BooMama in her favorites. Honestly, it’s simple enough to click on favorites and then click on BooMama. My mother is her age. And although she’ll probably never be really proficient, she picked it all up fairly easily.
I’ll betcha she’d catch on quicker than you think if she was actually sitting in front of her own computer.
GIRL! the texting — just CAN’T — and hubs has one of those blackberry-ish things, so he gets a REAL keypad and I’m left to fumble on the phone.
Blogbinders.com will bind your blog into book form, but the last time I checked into it (2 years ago), they didn’t include comments — which, I agree, can be the best part. So, that is my useless contribution. (AND I just looked — they’re going out of business — so my comment is basically internet-waste!)
I loved this! I hope you find a solution. I was going to suggest going to the library and using their computers, but it appears that this WebTV (whatever it is) is the thang!
My 85 year old dad -uses WebTV with minor difficulty. I am sure Martha could master it!
If my mom can learn to surf the web and email on an iMac, I am pretty sure that Martha can too. Really, I am sure!
I don’t have a solution for Martha’s problem but I can tell you what I have done to “lick” my texting incompetencies. I have one friend who I text with a lot. One day I saw I could text her straight from VerizonWireless.com, so if I’m near a computer and she texts me don’t think for a minute that I don’t pull the easy route and text her from the computer. I can also do it with Sprint / Nextel…but I haven’t checked any other providers. G’luck!
I’m clueless on new ideas for Martha. Sounds like some of the other internets have some good options. I had to laugh at your description of you texting!! That is SO me!! Especially the part about the proper punctuation! I have tried being all cool and texting,(I’ve only done it like 5 times and could have had VERY long conversations for all the time it took)in code….can’t do it! I can not send that. I don’t want people to think I really don’t know how to spell words like “what” or “your”! I guess I’m just not cut out for some of this! :-)
Definately web t.v. is the way to go for her. My elderly neighbor has it and she is up to par!! Check it out for Martha.
We print these things out for Nena, because really and truly, no one wants the job of her IT person.
My grandpa loves his Presto. You can attach pictures, too. How about copying and pasting the post with comments and just sending it the day after you write? Or asking someone else to do it when they read?
If Martha is anything like my sweet Mama, skip Web TV.
After hours of a beginner’s computer class, my Mama typed her first Instant Message to her friend at the next desk. As soon as she hit SEND, she shuddered in angst and whispered, “I think I just broke the internet.”
I print your blog and other things I deem worthy on the internet for Mama from time to time. Full-color header with the text formatted to a large font. You know, like the large print edition of Guidepost.
Then comes the best part.
I mail it to her. One blog entry per envelope.
When the mail arrives, she fixes herself a little Co-cola, puts pimento cheese on a Waverly Wafer, and sits down in her reading chair for a little afternoon read*fest. Just makes her day.
[Added bonus? She can make copies as needed to send to friends ~ because she does love her some ‘clippings’.]
Now if we could only get her to quit saying “I’m so sorry to bother ya’ll….” whenever she hits her On-Star button.
=)
Okay, I used to have the prototype to the Presto, which I called, affectionately, “My Email Machine.” I was totally frustrated with it after day three. I do not recommend you go low-tech. It will cause all sorts of unimagined problems!
I’m not to keen on giving her a printed version, either. I keep my blog in a printed format. Although I do not blog as often as you (or with as many words), the printed version is huge. And it is 9-point font. And I don’t have comments or photos included!!
My family is from a small town in Indiana, and they do the simple thing: they visit the library and log on. They even have a librarian to assist with the details of logging on and finding the blog and all that. They need only remember the name of the blog. It is fantastic! Also, they can share the news they read online with whichever neighbors happen to be in the library with them. (It is a SMALL town.)
I’m getting a CD in the mail because of you!! THank you!
I don’t know.
To tell you the truth, if my Mama, Martha, and Ethel got into the bloggy loop, I think the Earth may tilt right off it’s axis (imaginary or not!) and spin off into a black hole.
I’m just sayin.’
You can have your blog made into a book, and it really is not expensive either. Comments and all. I think the website I looked at was http://www.blurb.com so have a look and see.(I love the selection…you cvna also make your own recipe book!) Small things excite me, as you can tell! Filed under…to do one day maybe.
Oh life in a small town… So nice. I agree with what a lot of people already said that’s to print it out and let her read it as her leasure. You could show her the website on the computer, so she’ll have some idea of the significance. But, then just give her a hard copy once a month. And then you could leave out some of the posts that she would just not understand like the contests and such.
Also, I’m with you on the texting. My husband has a blackberry and he just clicks away like it’s nobody’s business. Me, I can’t figure out the how to put in capital letters or punctuation. So my text messages look like this…
ill meet you at the mall but lets meet for dinner at ruby tuesdays
That’s a typical message from me!
Good Luck!
Georgia Mom
Haven’t you heard of Christmas on July?? My 84 year old MIL has one, but unlike the “shopping only” computer, hers is a “Food Network only” one…she has the Food Network set as her homepage, because, after all, they show the recipes too quickly and in type “so small no one can even read the thing…”, so she can just turn on the “FNO computer”, go to the “FNO internet” and, lo and behold, the recipe is right there! Only right now, she has pushed another button somehow, somewhere, and when I turn on her computer there is DOS (remember that?!?!) gobbly gook on there that I can’t get off…sounds like an issue for Lynne over at And Babies Make Six, my personal IT Tech. Good luck!
I’ve got no hints, really, but I like the hard copy idea, or sending them to the library.
Mainly, I wanted to say that I absolutely love, love, love your blog! It makes me smile…a lot! And laugh and giggle, too! However, I must request that you stop mentioning Monk & Neagle because every time I read the name, I get it stuck in my head. I spent 45 minutes vaccuming the house the other day with this running through my head: “Monk & Neagle…Monk & Neagle…Monk & Neeeeaaaaagle…Mooooonnnnk & Neagle…Monk & Neagle…monk&neaglemonk&neaglemonk&neagle…Monk & Neagle…” Well, you get the picture! It’s morphed into one word in my head – Munkunagle! :)
BTW, I’m totally kidding. I hope that was obvious!
My 71 year old mother loves her computer. She loves the “In TRA Net” (rhymes with Aquanet) and has mastered email, loves to play card games, and has even made some home made cards with her scanner. I’ll bet Martha would do just fine and dandy.
I signed up for the CD. Got the response that I WOULD get one in about 10 days. YEAH! THEN got a very polite email that I am not getting one. They are out. I signed up yesterday. DaRn! Like the music anyway…
Well, if Julia Claire has a computer that ONLY orders stuff, why couldn’t Martha have a computer that only has blawgs?! LOL My husband’s high school wood shop teacher and his wife have a computer and we are constantly getting forwards from her on our e-mail. They have to be well into their 80’s, after all my husband is 63 and I KNOW his teacher was older than 20 when he was teaching high school kids! I do know she does order things off the computer as well. They even have high speed internet service, but I did have to install it for them. Just put your blog in Martha’s Favorites. Should be simple enough.
As for the texting, well, I had mine disabled on my cell phone. I think I’ve received one text message and never sent or intend to send any.
texting code: gr8 post! lvd the txt LOLs.
thx 4 it. :)
as for 90-yr-olds on the internet…. wow. i’m coming up blank.
I just read all the comments and I have been laughing so hard!! I think getting her a cheap desktop is the way to go. YOu could type up step by step instructions to log on, with pictures of the screen etc. SHe will be a pro in no time!!
I got a CD too!!! I thought I was to late but I got a nice email yesterday!! Thanks for the info on the.
Come visit if you have the time. I started a RAK (Random Act of Kindness) Mr. LInky thing and it has been so much fun!!
I so enjoy reading your blog!!
My 85-year old Mama, the Steel Magnolia, is on the computer all of the time!! We got her a new Dell last summer for her birthday – hooked her up with AOL so that we could IM everyday. We are two states away, but talk several times during the day. She is even paying all of her bills and banking online!! The only problem we have had so far – she loves the Hallmark, American Greeting, Printship programs. So for Christmas, she made up her own little gift certificates to local restaurants – attaching money. My nephew and his girlfriend thought the certificate was real, went out to dinner and tried to pay for it with MeMaw’s certificate. What a HOOT!! For those of us new to your blog – a list of “characters”, who they are and who they belong to would be most helpful, when playing out these awesome stories in our heads!! Keep it up!
I was going to suggest the library, too. With friendly folks who can help her find BooMama online, AND, to whom she can brag when she finds herself in your blog.
I can’t text either, I’m cell phone stupid, I can answer, as long as it is not call waiting, and I can call people sometimes.
I had webtv when it first came out, and it was great! I was afraid of computers because I thought I would blow one up, hehe. But you can’t blow up a webtv, and you can see the internet and get email, oh, and you can order things, too, but that can be a secret.
Its really not that expensive, and it is easy to use. You can even go to chat rooms, I just would not mention that one, either so you don’t cause a stroke!
Can ya’ll get Martha into the library? You can put the instructions in an orderly fashion on a 3×5 card (My mother could not LIVE without orderly computer orders. I’m just sure Martha will be the same!) and she could BooMama all she wanted for 30 minutes at the library!
sounds like the both of you better keep talkin’ on the phone….
I’m with ya on that textin’ stuff.. I’m completely challenged.. we are of the wrong generation…..my college daughter must have taken a class bec. she can type a gazillion words a second…I’m baffled.
Hey! Just wanted to say I stumbled over your blog early this summer and have enjoyed it to no end. My hubby moved us up North to go back to school and you’re a great taste of home when I’m feeling lonely up here. I think the first post I read was about the wearing white post-Labor Day. I laughed so hard because it’s true! My best friend and I have that same conversation EVERY SINGLE YEAR.
So – all that to say, I’ll be reading the archives when my Southern homesickness hits. Just wanted to let ya know.
You and I would rival at the texting thing…it took me a while to figure out how to do a space…imagine reading my messages before that discovery…
If my MIL can navigate the world wide intraweb, I bet Miss Martha can too. I was going to suggest the library, but that webTV is sounding good too. I am totally in tears laughing at all the comments. My poor husband is having to turn up the volume on his TV show for all the laughing going on. I’m just waiting for a long commercial now so I can let him in on what’s so funny…
I don’t know much about WebTV but the Mac Mini is pretty easy and not too pricey. I like the fact that Macs aren’t targets of viruses as much as PC’s and they are rather intuitive to operate once they get set up by a guru.
The library is a good idea too.
I so enjoy reading and laughing over here. Thanks for sharing.
Before my Dad got a computer, he would go to the library. The people there would always take the time to help him whenever he had a question or, you know, wanted to know which button you push for that internet.
Print them off and mail them to her each week? That’s all I got
No idea, but just wanted to say HI! =)I can’t even get my own mother to consistently read my blog and she has a Mac that sits in the living room and is always on.
Hello,
I was truly blessed with reading your blogs. It’s wonderful to know there are other Christian moms out there that are happyily married and love their children and Jesus! My friend said you were her favorite blog to read and though I’ve never read people’s blogs before, you are now my favorite as well. Thank you for being a sister in Christ.
Rebecca
P.S. I’d love to be entered into your contests. :o)