It’s midnight. Sister and I are sitting here in Mama and Daddy’s den. I’m pulling up Miss Mississippi clips on YouTube, and Sister is taking off her make-up with her beloved Merle Norman cleansing cream (water has never touched her face for cleansing purposes except by pure accident).
Earlier tonight we went to a cousin’s wedding with Mama, our Aunt C. and our cousin Paige. The five of us had about 2 1/2 hours in the car together on the way there and the way back here, and during that time we solved approximately one half of the world’s problems and got a pretty good start on the other half. If we’d only had about thirty more minutes together, we would have most definitely gotten ‘er done.
It was a terribly productive trip.
Before the wedding we had a little time to kill, so we did what any sensible group of Southern women would do and stopped at Steinmart(s) for a few minutes. Interestingly, we ran into another cousin while we were there, and I’m starting to wonder if there’s some sort of genetic predisposition to Steinmart(s) shopping in our family.
Surprisingly, I did not buy anything. Paige bought some sunglasses. Sister bought a belt. It is cute and lime green. My Aunt C talked about how she is “too big” to buy anything, only she’s really not big at all, but no family gathering would be complete without at least one of us mentioning how much weight we’ve gained and then requesting that someone run into a Popeye’s for some fried chicken.
And yet we fancy ourselves completely normal.
So we went to the wedding and the reception, visited with some of our extended family, ran by Starbucks to get good and amped up on caffeine for our return trip, then came back to Mama and Daddy’s. I’m so tired that I can’t sleep – if that makes any sense at all. And I’m pretty sure that the venti cafe latte I had earlier isn’t helping my insomnia.
Anyway, Sister has finished removing her make-up and is now showing me an impromptu rendition of one of her old modern dance routines that was set to the musical version of “The Lord’s Prayer.” But she’s a bit hung up on the choreography around the “lead us not into temptation” section. So she’s improvising.
And giving the Lord all the glory through her graceful interpretation of a dance she learned over twenty-five years ago. While wearing pajamas and keeping her hair securely in place with a bobby pin.
All that’s missing, really, is Big Mama on the tambourine.
But I bet I can rustle up a glass jar and some rocks somewhere around here. It’s no tambourine, but it’ll do in a pinch.
Did I mention that we fancy ourselves completely normal?
Scary, isn’t it?
Have a lovely Sunday, everyone.
I j8st know we share some common genes somewhere back along the genetic highway, BooMama and Sister! Are you absolutely sure there aren’t some Cooks or Headricks somewhere back there in the not too distant past?
I once shook a diet Coke can full of gravel in time to “Hail, Hail, Lion of Judah!” while some others ran chopsticks over some storm door tracks and beat on oat boxes with wooden spoons! And it was in a Baptist church during revival! It was different, and very memorable, but not anything I ever want to repeat.
We bombed with the most bomb-i-ness of the bombed, ever. Sad. But funny and hilarious now. :-)
Hope y’all have a good time visiting, and a blessed Sunday.
Love and hugs to all,
Diane
But if no one is the same as anyone else then what is normal?
That whole long list just exhausted me.
If your life is not Southern, I just don’t know what is.
I always wanted a sister. Now you have confirmed it. I just don’t see my brother and I doing midnight dance moves while watching old pageants. That would be scary.
Wait… what part of that was not normal?
I have to agree with Tara.
The sweetest type of normal that I know
Ok, so what is up with Steinmart not being anywhere near my house?!? Is it like an upscale WalMart?
And about the tambourine…
Play on Big Mama, play on. :0)
Are you sure none of your relations were in Indiana this weekend? I thought of you as I walked in the Kohl’s shoe department and two older ladies were asking a total stranger how to get to new places on the computer. “You go to that bar at the top of your computer, erase what it already says, and type in http://www.whatever.com. No, no, you do WHATEVERdotcom because everything has its own address. Then hit the green button or the GO button and it will take you right there. Really.”
You just combined face cream, pageants, Steinmart(s),fried chicken,a Southern Wedding and your Mama all in one post!
I think it is a record.
;>)
I was up way past midnight last night and had I known that you and Sister were in need of some tambourine accompaniment, I would have caught the first flight out to Mississippi.
Sounds PERFECTLY normal to me. And I come from a branch of females that must “rest before we sleep.” My husband does not get it at all. Of course I don’t understand how him getting horizontal leads to a dead on sleep in under five minutes.
You totally crack me up. I hope Beth comes through on that weekend for bloggers because I so want to me you and your sisters.
You have the ABSOLUTELY BEST titles for you posts. I only blog about a 3 year old and I can never come up with anything chic or cool. Mine are always…Went to the Pool, blah blah blah. I love your creativity.
I learned that routine thirty-five years ago, not twenty-five. And the “lead us not into temptation†part came back to me as I napped on the way home. Maybe I’ll put it on You Tube next to the Miss Mississippi clips.
We have a Steinmart up here, but somehow it’s not the same.
And our Chik-Fil-A is not open for breakfast. I miss the South.
(Except for the roaches – I mean, palmetto bugs.)
LOL! I’ll bring the egg-shaker. You get that bottle with rocks ready girlfriend!
And yes – completely makes sense to be too tired to sleep!
This post is hilarious!!! I can just picture your sister doing her interpretive dance.
My sis and I put together a fabulous routine to “Le Freak” back in the early 80’s! Betcha we could still do it too!
Thanks for the laugh!
I am SO ashamed.
I have lived in New Englad for SO long that I don’t even know what Steinmart IS!
And normal? Well, do your kids make goat udders (shave AND unshaved) out of Play-Doh? Mine do. Oh yes, they do. And there are actually folks who ask me for parenting advice. Can you imagine??!!!
just spent the weekend with good fiends(Tlo) …i love our time to just visit and play. glad you had a good time. Family is so very important.
Oh how you make me in love with being a born and raised Southerner!!!