Grab A Coke And Something To Eat Because This May Take Awhile

This is one of those times where I don’t even know where to start. Because with Mama here this last week I didn’t really chronicle what was going on with us like I normally would have, and as a result of my bloglag I have all this junk in my brain that I just need to pour out onto the computer, but where to start, oh where to start, hey I think I’ll start with Wednesday.

So Wednesday morning I was beginning the whole get-ready-for-the-day process after I jumped out of the shower, and I noticed something, um, weird.

And if you are a man who is reading this, you might want to run for the hills right about now.

Now I’m going to use a little bit of vaguery here because there are certain Google searches that I just don’t want to come my way, but I think you’ll know what I mean when I tell you that when I looked in the mirror as I was getting ready I couldn’t help but notice that there was some abnormal activity going on in the left chestage region.

I promptly broke out in a cold sweat and had to lie down.

I’m not kidding.

I told Mama about it, and she said that she had experienced the same issue before, which made me feel a little bit better. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something could be wrong, so I called my doctor and left a message for the nurse.

Feel free to pat me on the back about the calling the doctor part. Because there was a time in my life when I would have avoided the doctor at all costs and instead tried to diagnose myself using only the internet and a well-worn copy of The Merck Manual of Medical Information.

I finally talked to the nurse around lunchtime, and she said that while they weren’t overly concerned, they felt like it would be better to err on the side of caution – so they’d like to see me. On Friday.



So now maybe you understand why last week I mostly wrote about the dress! And the necklace! And the shoes! I mean, since I was sort of preoccupied with the aforementioned abnormalage, ALL THE SPARKLY THINGS were a pretty good distraction.

Anyway, Friday finally got here and I went to the doctor and I am so happy to tell you that everything is perfectly fine. I’m far too embarrassed to tell you what the abnormalage was all about, but suffice it to say that it was something very, very normal. And in the end I’m so glad I kept my appointment because I have total peace of mind about that particular issue, and my doctor (who I LOVE) was oh-so-kind about my concerns and didn’t even call me crazy.

See? All’s well that ends well.

Friday afternoon D and Alex took Mama back to Mississippi, so I was actually home alone Friday night and most of yesterday. I wanted to tell y’all that I was ALONE, GLORIOUSLY ALONE when I posted about the granola Friday night, but I was feeling like a bit of a scaredy cat and didn’t want to give the Ring of ThievesTM a heads-up about my isolation.

I had a perfectly lovely time catching up on all the episodes of “Survivor” and “The Bachelor” that I haven’t seen, and I also ate a great deal of granola. And read way too many pre-season basketball stories on the internet. And maybe ate some more granola.

Saturday morning (BORED YET?) I decided to head to the Steinmart(s) 12 Hour Sale, and I’ll just go ahead and confess that I have been in Steinmart(s) so frequently in the last week that the salesclerks get a little tickled when they see me walking through the front door, like OH HEY, IT’S YOU, THE CRAZY WOMAN WHO CAN’T DECIDE ON EARRINGS, and I just smile and wave and think OH MY WORD, I’VE TURNED INTO MARTHA.

It was really just a matter of time.

Anyway, I ended up finding a whole new outfit for the the Big Festive Deal (which is tomorrow night, by the way), and it is actually less expensive than the dress I found earlier in the week. I got some great chiffon wide-legged pants and a kind of asymmetrical shimmery top. The best thing is that both pieces are completely comfortable, and the more I have come to understand about the nature of my duties at Big Festive Deal, the more I have realized that the comfort factor is going to be huge.

However, the sassy / kicky shoes are history, I’m afraid.

I know. It is heartbreaking. I know.

Sometimes we have to make tough choices, y’all.

And I’m off to Nashville tomorrow.

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  1. Hey, it’s all about being comfortable while looking good for me, so you don’t have feel badly about the shoes! Have a great time in Nashville…can’t wait to hear all about it. :)

  2. Long line the kicky shoes!

    No live the abnormality thingie- cause my Boo don’t need no abnormality. No sir.

    Have a wonderful trip tomorrow sweet friend, and I’ll be thinking about ya.

  3. oh how I’d love to meet up with you while you are up here!

    You’ll look beautiful and sassy even without those shoes. A grimace of pain is never a good look.


  4. Glad to hear you got some well needed alone time and enjoyed that granola. But now you have me wanting some. When should I come over?

  5. Well, I’m so glad that your mini health crisis turned out to be something absolutely normal.

    Are you going to be on Tee Vee tomorrow night? Or perhaps I should say, is the Big Festive Deal going to be televised? ;-)

    Safe journey, Sophie. You and Sister kick some major boo-tay! ;-)

    Love and hugs,


  6. Glad that your health crisis isn’t a crisis anymore!! Praise God!! We need a picture of you with the completed outfit.
    I ask you a question, my family and I just got back from Nashville, we were looking for homes and found one, 5 to 10 minutes tops, from our new house is a Steinmart, Marshalls, Ross Dress for Less,Bed, Bath and Beyond, Starbucks and a Super Target and a ton of other stores. Is God good or what?!!! Nobody better tell me God isn’t interested in shopping. ;)

    Have a great time!!

  7. Glad to hear all is well. Can’t wait to hear all about your deal in Nashville.
    Have a great trip.

  8. SO, SO, SO glad to hear that you have peace of mind. A good doctor is worth his or her weight in gold. Can I get an “Amen”?

    Travel safely to Nashville. And take pictures of your new sassy outfit. The internets are a pushy bunch, and we can’t wait to see!

  9. similar thing happened to my missionary daughter and they examined her from head to toe and found cervical pre-cancer cells…she is in Bangkok hospital by herself today for yet another biopsy and i think you would pray for her considering your own feelings of just a few days ago in the dark not knowing how things will turn out…thanks, she’s a great girl with a huge heart for her good God…rejoicing with you that all is well for you…
    ps – wear the heels and put the flip flops in your purse…

  10. So glad you are all right. I know that scary feeling, and am always so relieved when it turns out to be nothing. “Normal” is a beautiful word.

  11. Aahhh…thank goodness you are alright! That physical, wierd, mystery stuff will send someone to “can’t wait til Friday, I’ll lose my mind land!” But, you are good and you can have a blast in Nashvegas! And…we will not read your blog ever again if we have no pix by the end of the week! :)

    Well, ok, maybe we will, but be safe. Have fun!

  12. Noooooooo……..not the sassy kicky shoes. Where will you wear them to now?

  13. Glad you are OK. Have fun in Nashville!

  14. Glad to hear that everything’s OK. Don’t feel self-conscious about lying down and talking to your mom – I did the exact same thing when I had a swollen gland on my armpit.

  15. So, so glad your left chestage region is ok. And thanks for the reminder about the granola. I must try it!

  16. I’m praising the Lord and breathing a sigh of relief that you are okay! Enjoy being your fabulous self in a fabulous outfit at your fabulous festive deal.

  17. Stephanie says:

    Glad everything is ok with you. Health scares can be the worst. I’ll pray that your time in Nashville is a blessing for your friend and you.

  18. I really find myself envying all of y’all that have access to this Steinmart place. It sounds just glorious. I went over to their website and apparently, the closest one is an entire state and 135 miles away. Aarrgghhh…
    Have fun at your big fancy thing! We’ll be sitting at home, snacking on granola, watching NCIS and Boston Legal. And yes, we must see this new fabulous outfit of yours.

  19. Your post reminded me of Proverbs 13:12: “A hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

    And I guess that could apply (though not equally) to the health crisis or the outfit crisis.

    So glad you’re OK. Have a fabulous time in Nashville.

  20. :( I shall miss those beautiful shoes! :(

  21. So glad for the good report at the Dr. Now we must see that new outfit. Have a safe trip to Nashville.

  22. i’m so glad i clicked on the martha link. because i just about died from laughter. wow!

  23. I’m so glad you’re normal! Well, um, you know what I mean :)

    I love ALONE!! It makes my heart flutter with joy and excitement.

    Praying for a fantabulous time at the thingy in Nashville. I can’t wait to hear all about it and hopefully see a picture or two??

  24. Glad you are OK. Those things can be scary!! Hope you have a good trip. Blessings to you and your family :)

  25. Glad all is well.

    I had to laugh when I read you stayed home and caught up on Survivor and Bachelor, because that is the SAME thing I did. I had taped those two shows, (actually two episodes of Survivor) and had still not watched them. I figured I better catch up or give up, so I did the same thing.

    One last thing, I think the shoes are gorgeous…but I did have a second thought and it was….oh, but they would hurt my feet pretty quickly. I’m for comfort.

    Have a great time and I look forward to hearing about it.

  26. For Bossy, comfort is key. Which would surprise exactly no one who has seen the way she dresses.

  27. Ok well totally curious about the abnormal activity in the left chestage region but I’ll let it go since it was nothing and you are ok and so now we will all know who to contact if we ever have an abnormality in the chestal region even though we don’t know what it was. And I’m sure we feel better knowing that.

    Is it just me or is everything all centered lately here on your page?

  28. Thank God that whatever the abnormalage was, that it was, in fact, completely normal!!!!

  29. I had to wipe away the tears as I read that the sassy/kicky shoes were history. That’s so very, very sad. It just wasn’t their time to go, you know?

  30. Glad you are okay. It’s always a tough call for me about when to call the dr. or when to wait it out. I have been having some vague achiness in the right chestage region and actually this morning I had a breast ultrasound. It appears that everything is fine. This is the month to be aware of those things, so everyone check yourselves!
    Have a great time in my home state!

  31. What a long two day wait for your Doctor’s appointment. Glad things are okay. I am sad about the dress and the shoes. Are they too much for church? An important person’s funeral? A women’s ministry tea? I thought so – oh well.

  32. hey, i’m so glad everything is ok!
    can’t wait to hear about the party and see the outfit. you will let us see won’t you?

  33. I would be totally preoccupied if I had to wait for two days.

    Glad everything is normal!

  34. Your blog is getting vaguer by the day. Pretty soon your posts will just say: Some stuff happened that was sort of, well you know, and then I went to that place and did that one thing.

    Oddly enough you would still find a way to make it interesting and best of all hilarious. That’s why we keep coming back for more.

  35. I am *so* thankful your little abnormalage was nothing to worry about. I had one of those a few months ago and it turned out fine.

    Have a great time in Nashville!!

  36. Just to make you feel better, and figuring no one will see this since I’m so late commenting: I was having my twice a year ovarian screening (because my mom died of it) and the lady doing the ultrsound of my ovaries kept going “Hmmm. Hmmm.”

    Finally I was all, “What are you ‘hmmm-ing’ about?” I figured my time was up, and I’d have about enough time to get my living will straight and make videos for the boys and letters for them to read on their wedding day and then I’d be dead.

    She said,”well, it’s just that you have so much gas that I’m having trouble visualizing your left ovary.”

    Strangely uplifting!!
    Glad YOUR news was good also, and hope it did not involve flatulence.

  37. Glad to hear it was all normal. It seems like the aging process is always throwing something new and unusual our way. Anyway, good luck at the Festive Deal.

  38. Can I just say that I went to read your Martha story….thanks for the laugh. I can hear her as clear as anything. Well, at least you found something you could wear without having to go to the manager and ask him/her to look around and find something you could wear. You didn’t go to the manager, did you? :) Bummer about the shoes, but so glad that everything with your health is fine. Hope you have a wonderful time in Nashville!

  39. So glad that you are A-OKAY. Had my own little abnormality scare last week. . .let’s just say that inflammatory breast cancer was all I could think about. Luckily for me some extra-super-duty cortisone cream did the trick–no chemo needed.

    So now you MUST post a photo of the outfit. Must!!!!!

  40. Jeannette says:

    I think I was one of the ones who said: go for comfort, the pants and a flashy top, and COMFORTABLE shoes. If not barefoot.

    And I know you and everyone else will hate reading this next part. Everything older women told you would happen to your body when you get older, and we said they were nuts, is ALL true. At 42 1/2 my body started falling apart. A lump here, a knot there, here a polyp, another doctors appointment after this one. Give up all womenly comfort foods like chocolate and Cokes

    I tell you I never need to see another scary movie for the rest of my life.

    Everything turned out fine for me. I even spent a lot of time praying for the health of others.

    Now that I have said all of that, where are our pictures?

  41. Tell me you kept the shoes. Just because they don’t go with anything you own doesn’t mean you can’t wear them around the house for fun.