Based on the number of emails I received yesterday, I believe that the Captain Rodney’s Cheese Bake is going to be an INTERNET SENSATION. So in the interest of clarity, a few, well, clarifications.
(Oh, I do have a way with the words, don’t I? It’s like poetry, really.)
First of all, as far as I know, you cannot buy Boucan Glaze in a grocery store (and make sure that if you’re making the dip you get the Boucan Glaze, not the Burgundy Sauce). I think it is sold primarily at your various and sundry specialty markets. So what I would recommend is that you go here, call the nice people at the Bell Buckle Country Store, and ask them if anyone sells the glaze in your area. If not, then you could order the glaze directly from them and more than likely have it at your house before Christmas.
And believe you me: if you leave the Captain Rodney’s dip out for Santa on Christmas Eve? You are gonna get SO many stinkin’ toys. Perhaps even diamonds.
By the way, if you call the people in Bell Buckle, please tell them that BooMama sent you. The person you talk to won’t have any idea who I am, of course, so when you say, “Oh, by the way, BooMama sent me,” she’ll say, “WHO?!?!”
And then you’ll say, “BOOMAMA! ON THE INTERNET! SHE’S THE ONE WHO SENT ME HERE!”
And then she’ll say, “I DO NOT KNOW ANY BOOMAMA! WHAT IS A BOOMAMA? I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF A BOOMAMA!”
And then you’ll say, “NEVER MIND, JUST SEND ME THE SAUCE! I NEED TO GET THE SAUCE! BECAUSE IT IS SWEET! AND ALSO QUITE SAVORY!”
And then you will give the nice person your credit card number.
It’ll be so much fun you won’t even be able to stand it.
Next.
I know that several of you who use Internet Explorer have been having issues (or, as Sister and I like to say: “ISH-AHS”) with my blog in that the posts were showing up so far down the page that you pretty much had to scroll until your fingers fell off in order to see them.
And really, a blog is never worth losing some fingers.
Anyway, the Internet Explorer ISH-AH has now been resolved.
Tell your fingers that I said, “You’re welcome.”
And please also tell them that I said, “MERRY CHRISTMAS, FINGERS!”
Finally.
Back in the summer I posted pictures of Alex waiting for his grandparents to arrive at our house, and I was completely taken aback by all the nice comments and emails regarding, well, our driveway.
Because I have to tell you that the driveway compliments were a first for me. They made me blush and giggle and bat my eyelashes.
Several of you mentioned that the biggest downside to a driveway like ours would be dealing with it in snowy, icy conditions, but since we have only had those conditions in Alabama once in the last eight years, we feel pretty confident that if the snow is so bad that we can’t get up our driveway, then the rest of our fair city has probably ground to a screeching halt as well.
However.
We do have a driveway nemesis, and until I found myself burning all manner of rubber in an attempt to leave my house right after we moved in last year, it’s a nemesis I would have never expected.
DAMP LEAVES, my friends.
THEY ARE A TERROR.
And that is why, at 6:30 this morning, when I was scooping coffee grounds into the coffee pot and heard our neighbor – who has an equally steep driveway – catch the Wheelie To Beat All Wheelies as she was leaving for work, I knew I’d better get outside and get busy if there was any hope at all of D being able to get up the driveway and take Alex to school. Normally D handles every single bit of our outside maintenance, but for some strange reason, I enjoy clearing off the driveway. It makes me feel like some sort of frontierwoman.
A frontierwoman with cable television, air conditioning, and high-speed internet. Just like in the days of yore.
And so, at 6:32 this morning, Alex and I were outside in our pajamas. I was armed with a rake (the blower doesn’t work so well when the leaves are really damp), and Alex was armed with a yellow lab on the end of a leash (Have you ever tried to rake while chasing a 100-pound yellow lab? It is nearly impossible). We had us a fine time.
But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized that the scene this morning was quite the Southern redneck stereotype: you had a woman in mismatched pajamas and houseshoes holding a rake, a child whose pajamas were so short that the bottoms of the legs hit somewhere around his calves, and an elderly dog on a leash who, bless her heart, barked her head off whenever the tip of a leaf threatened to brush across her nose. Couple that Faulknerian scene with the purpose of our outing – TO KEEP D FROM SPINNING OUT WHEN HE TRIED TO GET HIS CHEVY UP THE DRIVEWAY – and you’ve got yourself the makings of a Southern Gothic tale.
The only thing that would’ve made it more stereotypically redneck is if D needed to get up the driveway so that he could go to prison.
For making moonshine.
Well, and if D had gotten to the top of the driveway, lowered his truck window and fired a pistol in the air.
Season’s Greetings from Alabama, y’all.
yeehaw, girl. YEE.HAW!
i can tell you, though, boomama, the snow that is pounding us up here in the WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY north (New York-ish, I believe everyone would say) is probably less slippery than your leaves.
i did actually snort, though, when i envisioned boodaddy firing his pistol. hysterical laughter, almost caused me to have my beverage shoot out of my nostrils.
you have a way with the words, yes ma’am, you do.
We’re a four season place up here in NE Ohio. Just ask Janeen at Our Story (our dear, sweet cousin). She’s in the snow belt, which is another beast altogether. We can get 2″ and her house, which is about 45 minutes away, can get 2 feet. Can we sing, Oh Thank You Lake Erie?! Shovels, salt, multiple layers, fleece and extra bottles of windshield cleaner are not optional here. Can’t imagine life without it, though!
How ’bout ya, Alabama? Roll on!
Love,
The Volunteer Peach (who has experienced redneckitude in Georgia, Tennessee, AND Iowa, which is beyahnd all comprehension and sports a festival of redneckedness also known as a combine demolition derby)
ROFLOL!!!! I am literally giggling here! You definitely needed a picture of yourself out there raking your driveway!!! Your husband could have had to leave the driveway to go on his work release…
get ‘er done!
i’m sorry, that should have been…
“GIT ‘ER DUN!”
Merry Christmas from the California beach, you Alabama Southern redneck frontierwoman, you.
Tears STREAMING down my face…and I’m sure Dan (the yardman) outside is wondering what in the world is wrong with me…dying from laughter – you HAVE to stop it!
BTW…I am calling Buckle whoever and telling them to get that sauce ready for some sellin’!!
oh, glory days! ;-)
xo,
J
Crack. Me. Up.
Has anyone ever told you that you are a hoot? You are from the South, so certainly someone has called you a hoot! I find that the highest form of flattery! Despite the fact the I have Mt. McLaundry and the button on my dryer just broke, I was able to laugh today!
heehee, I have to giggle at the WAAAAAYYYYY up north comment from beth. I’m in Canada….that’s a whole lot more north.
Right now we are getting pummeled with snow-expecting about 10 cm (5in)-and it should drop to -30 C tonite. sorry i don’t know what that is for americans, but i do know that is COLD!!!!
That’s not too redneck. Now, if you had a powerwasher used for getting the leaves off, that might be a different story.
Really, I was expecting you to say it would be complete if D were inside, sitting on the couch that had antlers hanging above it, while bellowing that he needs another beer and woman, would you get your lazy buttocks in there and get him one now! (He wouldn’t say buttocks of course, but I’m all about staying in the realm of the family blog vocabulary.) In the redneck South, I seem to recall that the women did most the work.
But whatever.
Merry Christmas y’all from the slowly thawing tundra we like to call Kansas.
YES YEE HAW INDEED!
(But, I can totally relate as those same conditions are what had a wrecker pulling me out of my driveway / yard in a house I used to live in. I spun so much I ended up partially in the yard and was in quite a pickle!)
You are hysterical! Thanks for the image — I’m still laughing!
It would have been more redneck if you had curlers in your hair. And if you and/or your child were barefoot. And if D were on his way to a Civil War reenactment.
oh, heavens to Betsy!!! If the baby weren’t sittin’ here cryin’ his pitiful eyes out (such a good mama I am: “HUSH BABY! Mama’s bloggin’!”) I’d be laughin’ my fool head off over this.
And Shalee’s comment too.
Blessings,
K
I love bloggy updates like this. You are too funny!
Thank you for making me laugh! The entire post… and yes, I do believe Beth Moore would totally see how your hubby had a hunting emergency seeing as how I’ve only done 2 of her studies and I distinctly recall hearing her talk about how she was a hunting widow in the fall!
In my head, I prefer to think of D waving the pistol around a few times before he shoots it. Why that makes it redneckier, I don’t know.
What a yummy driveway. I missed it the first time around. How did I ever do that?
Oh BooMama you do have a way with words. What a mama will do so that she can send her children off to school. We are in the process of chopping and hauling all our broken tree limbs fromt the ice storm. Our trees are toast – but at least we have electricity.
I needed you to make me laugh today and you didn’t disappoint. The chitlins are home from school today b/c of east coast ice and it has made for a hectic and crazy day.
Too funny and I can totally relate…
You are a riot! I’m spending the day cleaning up after a sick child, so a good belly laugh was just what I needed. Thank you so much.
YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAW!!!!!!!!!!
And thanks again for the help last night. :-)
What would make this more redneck? How bout some beer. D washing down his breakfast with an ice cold brewski. ;)
But….I’m confused….why would D need to get UP your driveway to take Alex to school?? Wouldn’t his car already BE at the top of the driveway in the garage??
classic…simply Boomama classic that I have come to love and expect….you forgot to mention the fact that your “hooters” needed to be hangin’ out of your pjs as you were raking the leaves off your driveway that butts up to your trailer….or, manufactured home, as we like to call them uptown :)(I am NOT making fun of mobile homes….just adding to the stereotypical redneck scenario…I’m one or rather I was in the past, so I can do that ;) Not a real redneck….but familiar with them in a family way
What a hoot! You are always guaranteed to put a smile on my face! It got funnier the more you typed!
Do you think if D did fire a pistol, the neighbor might do another wheelie? Now that would be worth a lot of money, my friend!
How much fun! I love those damp leaf stories :), especially if the damp leaves make a ruckus.
where oh where do you get that crazy and fun sense of humor?????
Oh that is just too funny! I’m glad to hear my family isn’t the only one that ought not to leave the confines of our home if clad only in our jammies. Matched jams with pant legs that go the ankle are a myth found only in catalogs as far as I’m concerned.
And if one were to call up the Bell Buckle Country Store and ask for said glaze, should one be orderin’ up the scotch bonnet or the burgundy version? There are 2 I noticed….
Thanks!
Ma’am, that is funny.
Classic Southern Gothicism at its finest.
we love rednecks! of course we are from arkansas and therefore probably are rednecks. my dad doesn’t go anywhere without his gun and feels deprived if he doesn’t get to shoot something at least once a day.
A pistol? Don’t you mean the shotgun he pulled off the gunrack mounted on the windows behind him in the truck? And he wouldn’t be takin’ the kid to school. That’s woman’s work. Most likely he’s headed to the barber shop. Or the hardware store. And don’t forget he had to stop at the top of the driveway to spit out his tobacky and put in a new plug. Not that I would know anything about redneck ways being from Arkansas and all. Nope not a thing.
RFLOL. This just warms my southern heart.
Have you had the Rose and Ivy Southern Pecan Pepper Jelly? Warmed and spread over a block of cream cheese? Served with crackers? Can you tell that I have?
It was twenty five flippin degrees here this morning. I went outside to go to the car and then from the car to school….that was it.
This sounds like a David Allen Coe song…
Oh My Heavens!
Good laugh – thanks BooMama.
Umm…just to complete my picture…Does D still have all his teeth?
Honestly, red neck city is right around the bend down here in South Louisiana…you’d have to have an automobile with no tires sitting on some blocks and at least one or two broken down major appliances sitting on the front porch; oh and a tub and/or possibly an extra toilet sitting outside too- which may or may not have something to do with landscaping/gardening …not that I’ve ever personally witnessed a sight such as this on my way to Wal Mart or anything. Just saying it could be the case if you lived very near a true redneck establishment.
However, too funny- who ever would’ve thought about the perils of damp leaves! This post really made me laugh- something I needed today. Thanks for sharing your real life crazy stuff.
Thank you for coming over and commenting – it made my night!
You know this has been the BEST week at our house! They had a press conference at 10:30 Tuesday night to announce Petrino was our new coach and my husband and I were shouting through the house while he discussed his offensive style and we taped it to watch over and over! SOOOOOOOO excited!
I hope ya’ll will enjoy beating Ole Miss every year now that Nutt is their coach. I know we will! :-)
GO HOGS!
Sander’s Pharmacy 662-378-2060 in Greenville, Mississippi has Captain Rodney’s if folks need a source. At least they had some today, that may not be the case tomorrow. I had to get on a call list a few weeks ago. Boo, your link to the Bell Buckle Country Store brought back so many memories of the precious quant town and my boarding school…..Your readers should take a little trip to beautiful Middle Tennessee and visit Bell Buckle. There is alot of history there and they have a wonderful Arts and Crafts show in the fall. Cute little shops to boot. Also vist Lynchburg and Shelbyville if you are in the area.
PS, they make great moonshine in Middle Tennessee, so I have been, clear my thoat, told….
You make me laugh. Out loud. :)
I love me some good Redneck Christmas tales!! :)
And then I have to wipe the tears from my eyes because I am laughing so hard.
I used to love steep driveways like what yours sounds like when I was a kid because I could get MEGA speed on my rollerblades – of course, I often splatted into the sides of houses, etc… but it was great amounts of fun!
We can now get Captain Rodney’s at Brookshires in Jackson, MS- The bottle is smaller and it is called Capt Rodney’s Sweet pepper glaze instead of Boucan glaze- But it is the same thing! It is near the barbecue sauce at Brookshires-
I have been a big fan of it for several years- I think a friend of mine found it first in a gift shop in south MS- it has been a hit at every part since then-
I have even started using the bag ‘o bacon sold with the bacon bits and you can’t tell that it isn’t freshly fried!
Everyday Gourmet in Jackson also has it-
You live in Alabama?! I’m from Alabama. I didn’t know you lived in Alabama. I thought I’d been reading your blog long enough to know things like this. Apparently, I am mistaken.
I live in Georgia now and people here tell me I made a step up in the world in moving here from Alabama. Well, my husband tells me this anyway. But what does he know, he’s from Georgia!
Oh, and Merry Christmas to you, too.
Gina Parsons, food editor of NE MS Daily Journal wrote of this delicious concoction back on 10/3/07
http://www.djournal.com/pages/archive.asp?ID=253097&pub=1&div=Lifestyles
A Cook’s Place here in Tupelo carries Capt Rodney’s Boucan Glaze. I bought a bottle at their Christmas Open House after tasting the wonderful dip.
Also, wet leaves can be a slippery mess. I teared up laughing at your word pictures.
To make moonshine huh? lolol
Loved the read. Mind if I link ya from http://www.KidsAreExpensive.com?
:O)
Too funny, Boomama. It reminds me of the days when we were stationed at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. I was 8 months pregnant, my hubby was deployed to Okinawa, when my 1 1/2 year-old let the crazy dog out the back screen door at 6am. We lived on base, mind you, so picture it: large stupid dog, running down the road followed by 1 1/2 year old boy laughing hysterically running down the road in his pjs, followed by HUGE PREGNANT REDHEAD in her robe and fuzzy slippers. All running down the road. At 6am. And all the while, I’m screaming, “Auuussstiinn!!!!” (my boy) “Maaaagggieeeee Maaaaayyy!” (my stupid dog) “PLEEEASE STOP!!!”
Not a good morning.
Thankfully I caught them both without giving birth to baby #2.
Too funny, I can picture the whole scene. Great writing. Now you know my southern belle friend, that you really must make sure your pajamas and fuzzy houseshoes match!
The Park Wife
(Holding my sides, wheezing.)
RFLOL!!!!! I have this mental picture….
Dear BooMama,
I laughed so hard at your post. You are so funny! Thanks for sharing. I don’t know if you have seen this website or not, but if you need a great laugh today, check it out. My family and I rolled on the floor laughing so hard at ourselves. http://www.elfyourself.com
Kristi
SO. riddle me this. we are going to Alabama for the holidays (Birmingham area), and since i’ve never been, i figured i’d ask you for ideas on places to go or whatever, and/or a typical ALABAMA food to have. (i’m a dork. whenever i travel through airports in cities, i try to have the regional specialty. and yes, having Atlanta Bread Company while in Atlanta does TOO count, tyvm! :P)
You are sooo stinkin’ funny. Thanks for making me smile and giggle while here in WeevilHell. I need all the help I can get.
And one of my favorite redneck scenes from life with the Hunters is when my 8 year old shoots possums with a beebee gun (the boy has the beebee gun not the possums)out the back door because the nasty giant rodents are eating the cat food. Oh yes ma’am I love that, I do. YeeHaw!
I think there may be a run on Boucan Glaze. I am so going to the fancy grocery today to find some.
The whole redneck morning had me in stitches. The only thing that would complete the ensemble is for both of you to have a Marlboro light dangling from your mouth.
I totally agree that pictures would have been priceless. You’re my best laugh all day. Thanks!!!
Our driveway is nothing but leaves with a bit of gravel thrown in. So It does make for a slippery sight. Not to mention a good laugh when I slip and land in my pj’s in a pot hole in the drive (filled with more leaves and water).!!! We live in front of a school so yes all my daughter’s friends and there parents probably saw me fall. I’m sure the mom’s covered there precious children’s eyes from the ungraceful event!!
This post just cracks me up! I can see you now. :)
My sister has a funny saying. When she gets mad at someone, sometimes she’ll say, “Don’t make me open up my can of white trash on you!” She’s a bit of a redneck herself. :)
What a frontier woman you are! and I love the visual of you and your redneck family! :)
Life has been so crazy for us with the babies and Christmas season that I don’t get anytime to blog read lately. Oh how I have missed reading you – you are medicine for my exhausted mind. Thank you for the laugh. :)
I’m rolling and crying as I think of calling the Glaze Folks and giving them your Boo Mama spiel.
Merry Christmas, yourself! I have family in Alabama, down near Butler/Mobile. I know I already said this, but your voice is HILARIOUS, and I think we’re going to get along JUST FINE.