Someone Please Make Me Stop Eating Chex Mix*

Why, hello, internets!

How are you?

I’ve missed you terribly.

And even though I haven’t written a post because I knew lots of you were visiting the houses on the Tour of Homes and I didn’t want to interrupt the festivities, all of the boring information that rattles around my feeble mind has reached some sort of critical mass, and unfortunately, I have to post again or else my head will explode.

I’m sure you understand.

So today I snuck off while Alex was resting and went to the grocery store.

(Do not worry. I did not leave him home alone. His daddy was here. We are not planning to leave him by himself until he’s at least five. We are quite protective.)

We have all manner of family and friends coming to visit over the holidays, and one of the greatest joys in my life is figuring out what to cook for big, festive occasions and making a list of all the necessary ingredients and then organizing the list and then typing the list and then taking my list to the store and crossing off every single item (WITH A BLACK SHARPIE! IT MUST BE CROSSED OFF WITH A BLACK SHARPIE OR CHRISTMAS IS RUINED!) as I put it in the cart.

It’s a very loose, flexible process for me, as you can clearly tell.

Today I actually went into the store with my list ON A CLIPBOARD, and before you think I’ve lost my mind, I have to tell you that a clipboard? In the grocery store? IT IS HANDY. I really feel like I was able to take my grocery shopping game up to the next level, and if you’re thinking to yourself, “Um, missy? I didn’t know that grocery shopping was a contest,” then let me just assure you that OH, IT TOTALLY IS.

(And today? I was surrounded by amateurs. But that is another tale for another time.)

Anyway, when I was finally in the checkout line and unloading my cart, I heard the woman behind me say “WOW!” And when I turned around to see what was going on, do you know what she was doing, y’all? Do you know?

She was looking at my grocery list! With a look of awe on her face!

Or perhaps it was horror. But still. We’ll pretend like it was FOR SURE a look of awe. Because that is a much more pleasing scenario.

And I confess right here before the whole wide world interweb that it tickled me to death.

I think that I might have some grocery list pride issues.

But, I mean, LOOK. IT’S BEAUTIFUL.

I got every single thing on my list except for dark rum. And that is because I am Baptist so obviously I have to wait until the Episcopalian side of the family gets to town so that I can make them go to the liquor store for me.

Or at the very least the Methodist side. The Methodists will do just fine in a pinch, but the Episcopalians, well, they are professionals.

OH, I DO KID.

I’m actually going to the liquor store tomorrow. I’ll be wearing large, dark sunglasses and a t-shirt that says, “HELLO, I’M NOT BAPTIST.”

OH, I DO KID. AGAIN! I AM A KIDDER!

And in a surprising development, I only had three blocks of cream cheese on my list. I for one feel that this demonstrates remarkable restraint on my part.

Also – because you know that I have to share grocery bargains when I run across a particularly good one – you can buy a carton of Land O Lakes butter for two dollars in Walmart right now.

Which means that there are currently sixteen sticks of butter in my refrigerator.

In addition to a few other items that had to be put away.

And I don’t know if you realize this, but all those groceries? HAVE TO BE COOKED AND STUFF.

So we’re going to be spending the next few days getting everything ready for our company. I’m going to start on a few things for Christmas dinner and bake this cake and listen to James Taylor and wrap presents and pretty much just soak up the season.

I really do adore this time of year.

Make it merry, y’all.

*It’s Pioneer Woman’s recipe. And it is very delicious. You should try it.