I Am Too Full To Live

Last night after our Christmas Feast I silently vowed that I would not eat anything at all today. And I’ll have you know that I kept that vow until approximately 8:30 this morning when I devoured two pieces of fried Jimmy Dean sausage. Because obviously I like to start my day with a healthy, low-fat breakfast.

But as it turned out, I needed the protein. Mama, Sister and I shopped for most of the day, and even when Mama decided she’d had enough, Sister and I persevered. In fact, I think we broke our previous record for time spent shopping in TJ Maxx (we clocked in right at three hours), and we went to Steinmart(s) not once but twice. You should expect no less.

My best deal of the day was a pair of shoes that were 80% off – I paid a whopping $9.99 for them. I was so excited when I found them that I stood right there in the Steinmart(s) shoe department and proclaimed, “IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!”

The woman standing next to us started to laugh and said that she was also hoping to find a Christmas miracle on the clearance rack, but she didn’t think she was going to get one since they didn’t seem to have her size.

In retrospect, I believe that Sister and I should have joined hands with that sweet woman right there in the shoe department and prayed for her miracle. We missed a real opportunity for ministry. And the Lord will hold us accountable for that.

Also, as a brief aside: total number of times Sister and I have sung “O Holy Night” in a key that defies the laws of music: 74. We have also done a good bit of dancing.

Anyhoo, I must go now. If their maniacal laughter is any indication, my hubby and Sister’s hubby are waging a top-notch campaign against some rogue alien armies on the Xbox, and I would hate to miss history in the making. It is sure to be a tender Christmas memory.

OH! One more thing! Yesterday morning when the little man walked into our living room and saw his presents, he paused for a second at the top of the steps and then said, “WELL MY WORD.”

We’re thinking of changing his name to Papaw.

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  1. “Well my word!!” I appear to have the FIRST comment this time. ;-)

  2. Oh that is so cute. I mean funny. I hear “oh my word!” out of my son’s mouth possibly hourly.

  3. Because of our 5-yr old’s new status as a big brother, he has been blessed with lots o’ big “brudder” gifts as well as Santa presents. “My Word!” was my thought as I was ashamed to see that he had more presents in our living room than his entire orphanage had a few years ago. We chatted about this and decided that, for his upcoming birthday, he will ask for books to be donated instead of receiving toys… a big step for a 5-year old boy!

    It’s just crazy that the “big-brotherdom-Christmas-Birthday Trifecta” would happen so close together…

  4. Sounds like you had a blast shopping. I decided to stay in today, will get out tomorrow.

  5. You’re so funny. Glad to see that Christmas miracles still do happen.

  6. THIS is why i keep coming back for more.

  7. Yes I too said I was too full to eat anymore until mom pulled out the dessert. Then I suddenly had more room- hmm :) Good thing I brought the stretchy pants.

    That is too funny about alex – kids crack me up!!
    enjoy the time with the fam :)

  8. My Christmas miracle shoes were on clearance at Target for $3. I will be sporting cute flats when I don’t have to wear those *#%@ snow boots.

  9. XBox??? What about the Wii?

  10. I felt the love of a Christmas miracle while out shopping, too! Nothing screams “Jesus Loves Me” like completing my nativity set with pieces bought for 50% off! Thank you, Lord!

  11. my stomach is totally bloated and may never return to it’s normal state (which is not too good let me tell ya) from all of the food i’ve consumed. i was on a hunt for shoes today and sadly, found nary a pair. i was reminded all day while the shoes i wore shopping killed my feet! maybe i should hit up the steinmarts tomorrow, tis’ truly a place of miracles.

  12. “Well my word” — hilarious. I hope you had a merry (albeit very full) Christmas.

  13. I love TJ Maxx…AND shoes!

    Thanks for taking a break to make me smile!!


  14. I am so saddened that there is no picture of said Christmas Miracle shoes.

  15. My Christmas miracle will be something along the lines of if I’m able to button my pants. Doubtful. Fasting and praying, my friend. Fasting and praying.

  16. Dude, when you start off the day with Jimmy Dean sausage, you can expect all sorts of good things to happen! Y’all shoulda carried a couple extra patties shopping for distribution to those less fortunate than you. Like the lady at Steinmart, for example. And if her size shoes didn’t miraculously appear immediately after she consumed the Jimmy Dean, she could have at least used some of the leftover grease to help her squeeze her size 7 into that 6 1/2. Glad y’all had a good day!

  17. “Well my word!!” is hilarious! And hooray for $9.99 shoes!

  18. $9.99 is my kinda shoe price.

    I hope that woman’s face doesn’t haunt you the next time you find such a good deal.

  19. And really a good “Well My Word” can cover just about any thing. You are a good mama for training that boy well. ;)

    I got a new pair of shoes yesterday as well, but my clearance price was not quite the miracle of yours – LOL!

  20. Did you have any luck with the red feather trees? I am going today!!!

    In other miraculous news, the local Kirkland’s is moving locations, so I enjoyed the gracious blessings of deep discounts on ALL items.

    However, I didn’t buy my mom a matching lamp to the one I got for $7.50, so I too, will be held accountable.

  21. What wonderful Christmas memories you have made. I love hearing about your adventures with your Sister.

  22. Sounds like the shopping was a success! Nothing like those day after Christmas specials!

    Hope the aliens have been destroyed!

  23. Nothing says Christmas like a little alien gore splattered on the TV screen.

    Oh, and since I’m currently 11 months pregnant (not really, but that’s how I feel), I’m still eating Christmas dinner. I get full after five bites, but there is no way I’m letting all that good food go to waste.

    (Although it’s definitely going to my waist! OY! Being pregnant over the holidays is a killer situation.)

  24. “Well, my word!” Sounds like you had a great day yesterday!

  25. My Christmas miracle was a tree topper for our tree for 50% off. Wanna know how long we’ve gone without a tree topper? EIGHT YEARS. I’ve been too cheap to buy one before Christmas and I always forget after. So we’ve been using a wire star that had chocolates in it. And anything that once brought chocolate into my home must surely serve as a good reminder of our Lord’s special star.

  26. My Boxing Day was exactly like yours except different. I did not shop at all. In fact I did not go anywhere because I had absolutely no enrgy or cheerfulness left. Instead, I spent my day hiding under mounds of wrapping paper in sheer exhaustion while my girlies played “O Holy Night” on kazoos.

  27. This post made me laugh so hard that tears are coming down. From the Christmas shoe miracle to “oh my word”. You and your sister have to just constantly laugh all the time.
    P.S. I could spend at least 3 hours in T J maxx and would still feel like I missed something. LOVE that place!

  28. Oh my goodness! Your post is so funny I’ll be laughing for the rest of the day!

  29. I’ll pray for your forgiveness at the lost moment of ministry. Perhaps she’ll read your blog. :) Howard/Papaw is so cute! Around here it was “let the opening begin!”. Awww…celebrating the true meaning of the season.

  30. Had to make a quick trip to Branson yesterday just for an outing(Been tied to the kitchen three days and was about shot)and to go to TJMaxx and Tarjet. I’ll swun, I’ve never seen so much Christmas stuff left in my life….it’s like they hadn’t sold one tinsel before Christmas. Why do they overbuy so much for the stores? In Kohl’s they still had 40 different Christmas tea towels to choose from. And if you’ve seen one snowman picture frame, you’ve seen hundreds left! I know they overprice them and then you think you are getting a real bargain for 50% off but really, how dumb can we continue to be?? Dumb enough to go to Branson in the rain……..har!

  31. I also had a Christmas miracle. I found some dishes at Kohl’s that were marked down 90%. I ended up getting 14 dinner plates! They only had 4 salad plates, but I think I can find some at another store.

  32. I’m tellin’ ya…you just flat out crack me up!

  33. That is hilarious! My Christmas Miracle was the fact that I didn’t even go shopping!! :)

  34. Oh you are a girl after my own heart! After Christmas shopping is the Best! It’s a tradition in my family to rise early, no matter how tired we may be, and hit the stores! This year it was just me and my mom, and we had a great time. I swear my heart skips a beat when I see all those red clearance signs!

  35. My Christmas miracle was a 6ft pre-lit Christmas tree with multi colored lights marked down 50% off that I will put up in my kitchen next year for our new “Christmas Card Tree”. Thanks for that idea! I can’t wait til next year!

    Oh and I got some new cute wrapping paper and gift tags! And two ornaments for the kids! All marked 50% off. :)

  36. so glad i’ve met you, i’ve been reading back, and just love the “ramble”, and the “silliness”.

  37. I love me a good Christmas miracle!
    I thought that you might enjoy this site:


    It’s fun and addictive. Something for you to do in your, you know, down time.

  38. Thank you for providing me with my daily dose of hilarity:-)

  39. Seeing as how one of my spirtual gifts is shopping, I stand in awe of the 3 hours in T.J. Maxx and may I applaud our Jesus for the 9.99 shoes at one of my favorite stores, Steinmart!! My oldest got the digital camera he wanted and he decided it would be fun to make a video while his mom was in jammies making the biggest Christmas breakfast ever. My other son got an i-touch and he proceeded to open his gift and disappear upstairs where I have seen him a total of 5 minutes since Christmas. If he had a bathroom this mom would not see him. LOL!! To which he also got a HUGE amp and even though I don’t see him much, I hear him all the time.
    Well, my word is just to cute for words!!

    Happy New Year 2008!!!!

  40. Well my word…it was a lovely day then!

    And….there is no way I could spend 3 hours in any store. I admire your patience and ability Boomama. This girl couldn’t hang with you. :)

  41. It saddens me to hear you’ve moved on to the Xbox. Please tell me you still love your Wii? Santa brought ours and, in honor of Alex, oh my word is right! it is so stinkin’ fun! My Mii is absolutely adorable..I’m very tall, skinny, and have great hair. And I’m wearing sunglasses while bowling.. Is that cool or what?

    Hope you had a fabulous Christmas…:))

  42. You never CEASE to crack me the heck up!!! “in retrospect, sister and I should have joined hands…” bwaaaahhaaaa – you are hilarious. I wish I could hang with you in person, but then, I’d have to wear Depends!!!

    Glad you found some bargains. I did the same. Don’tcha love it???

    Happy New Year!!!

  43. Finding that deal definitely was a Christmas Miracle!

  44. I AM SOOOO GLAD you’re back to the blog. I have missed you TERRIBLY!!!!!!!!!

  45. Your title cracks me up. Just how I felt too. Until the next morning, that is.

    Sounds like you’re making a true Southern gentleman out of that little man, LOL!

    I think the Christmas miracle is that you had any money LEFT to shop the great post-Christmas deals! How do you people do that??

  46. Okay: The too full to live comment drew me in. But what made me laugh was Jimmy Dean at 8:30 am. My husband and I once decided to follow an Andrew Weil fast — like two days of broth. I got up at 7 am and was eating like a famine survivor by 10. Husband did the whole damn two days.

  47. you are hilarious!

  48. I’d love to get your little man and my little miss together just to see what words will come out of their mouths.

  49. Merry Christmas. . .sounds like you had a good ‘un. We did too.