I Am Easily Amused

All righty, internets.

Since I have absolutely NOTHING to write about except for the fact that my husband is suffering from a man cold (hello, congested husband-of-mine! Happy Birthday! Alex and I are going to wrap up some decongestants for you right after we finishing making you a cake from cough drops!), I thought I’d elaborate on a topic Big Mama and I discussed in our last podcast and share a little of my search engine term joy with you.

And for those of you who have asked how I can tell what terms people are using to find my blog, it’s all because of the handy little WordPress blog stats plug-in. It tracks all the terms and keeps them in a lovely little list that’s organized by date. The actual search engine isn’t specified – so there’s no way to know if the search came from Google or Yahoo or MSN or wherever – but when you’re dealing with this kind of humor, who cares?

After all, this is some serious interweb treasure.

boomama, all.the. talking
boomama, the talking, talking
boomama, always talking

I think I should probably be offended.

I mean, I know brevity is not my gift, but still.

After all, I am quiet for SEVERAL WHOLE MINUTES a day.

is it okay to use cream cheese from may

I’m going to go out on a limb and say no. Because that would mean your cream cheese is about eight months old.

And really, when you’re dealing with processed dairy items, you can never be too careful.

I are test you for internets. (OH NOSE)

Come again? (OH EYES)

don’t y’all love paula

You know, I do love her. To pieces. I just love her to pieces.

bangs scrunchies tight-roll jeans

No.

Just say no.

listen to Cici Winans

OKAY!

a picture of santa under a tree

Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture of Santa under a tree.

However, I do have this.

You’re welcome.

Can Ash Wednesday be shifted?

You know, I think you’ll probably have to take up that particular question with God.

I’m sure He’ll be absolutely delighted to hear from you.

how long is bacon fat good for?

I have no idea, but judging from this question, I think you and I may be related.

I have medium blonde hair. I colored it

ME, TOO!

You’re going to be right at home here.

sneakers you going to feel pain

I’m certain that sneakers across the world just cowered in fear.

And they probably made a phone call to their tough and rugged boot friends.

Consider yourself warned, trash talker.

Consider yourself warned.

rap for my friend Brianna

Well.

Um.

Okay.

If you insist.

This rap is for Brianna, and I’m here to say
That rap is not my thang on the best of days.
Plus Brianna is a stranger and I think you know
That it’s hard to kick it freestyle so I guess I’ll go
And eat some more fried chicken, drink a diet Coke.
‘Cause you know I love some food and that ain’t no joke.
Yo, Brianna. Yo yo, Brianna.
Yo, Brianna. Yo yo, Brianna.
Never change.

Word.