Well, this is definitely the Bachelorette post that almost wasn’t because I haven’t been able to access my blog for the last four hours. I’d explain all the details except that I’d hate myself tomorrow for using terms like CPU and overload and dedicated servers. So just suffice it to say that the last WordPress upgrade was very, very unkind to me. Just like Dave was very, very unkind to Jillian on last week’s episode.
Did you see how I did that? Did you see how I connected my computer issues to The Bachelorette? Mrs. Scarbrough, my 10th grade English teacher, would be so tickled. Except that she’d probably think that watching The Bachelorette is tacky. And she’d probably write “awk” next to that last sentence because it is in fact incredibly awkward.
On second thought, maybe she wouldn’t be so tickled after all.
Tonight we joined Jillian and the bachelors in Whistler, British Columbia, a location that, oddly enough, was also featured on Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood last week.
(Perhaps I’ve revealed too much. I hope the fact that I not only mentioned Tori Spelling’s reality show but also happen to WATCH IT FAITHFULLY won’t change this thing we have going on here. Because we’re all pretty magical together, you know.)
(Anyhoo.)
The first one-on-one date went to Michael, who makes me laugh in spite of myself. He’s genuinely energetic and seems completely devoid of pretense. And on top of that, we get to see the words “Breakdance Instructor” underneath his name whenever he appears on screen. You can’t buy that kind of joy, people. Oh no you cannot.
Michael and Jillian went zip lining, which gave her the opportunity to scream a whole bunch. The good news is that the zip line in Canada moved way faster than the one Jillian and Ed tried out in LA (I’m telling you: that LA zipline moved about as fast as a robotic papaw in a slow-motion shuffleboard tournament). After the zip lining Michael and Jillian went to dinner, and back at the condo the guys tried to figure out who told Jillian that one of the guys had a girlfriend. While they talked, Tanner P. sat on the couch and looked like he wanted to throw up.
Ultimately Jillian gave Michael a rose, and the next day she met eight of the guys for a little snowmobiling. She and Robby had a heart-to-heart, and while they were talking Tanner P. and Wes trashed Robby behind his back. Funny thing: the behind-the-back trash talking made me like those two LESS THAN EVER. Later Wes put the moves on Jillian while he was sitting on a chair made of snow, and it really does blow my mind that Jillian thinks he’s genuine. I don’t know – maybe he is – but I can’t see it. Every single time he talks to her I halfway expect him to pull a CD out of his pocket, grin at the camera and say, “I agree with you, Jillian, and I wrote a song about that very topic on my latest album. If you act now, you can buy this CD – and get a special bonus CD – for the low, low price of $9.99. Plus shipping and handling, of course. Darlin’.”
After all the snowmobiling Jillian spent some time with Kiptyn and Reid, and then we found out that Ed’s boss gave him an ultimatum: leave the show or lose your job. All I could think when Ed was explaining his situation was “HE’S THE BEST ONE. HE CAN’T LEAVE. HE’S THE BEST ONE.” Jillian gave Ed the rose to reassure him that she wants him to stick around, but judging from the previews I just saw, I’m guessing that Ed’s going to hit the road in about 22 minutes.
HE’S THE BEST ONE.
The final date went to Jesse. He and Jillian took a ride in a ski plane and then landed on a glacier (oh, if I had a dollar for every time I’d done that, I’d be FLAT DANG BROKE). They fell in the snow a whole bunch and seemed to have a lovely time. After their afternoon on the glacier (there’s a phrase you don’t hear very often), they went to dinner, got all flirty and cutesy with each other, and then Jillian gave him a rose in the hot tub.
Again: if I had a dollar….
The next day Ed told Jillian that he had to leave because of his job.
Y’ALL. HE’S THE BEST ONE. Seriously. Without Ed on the show, I could stop watching right now and never look back. Because now I’m pretty sure that Jillian will end up with Kiptyn and have a couple of children named Immileigh and Jaycub.
When it was time for the rose ceremony, Jillian decided that she didn’t need a cocktail party to help her make up her mind. And let me tell you: it was a good thing Jesse already had a rose because did anybody else notice that he was wearing a v-necked t-shirt – and ONLY a v-necked t-shirt – underneath his blazer? It was a bit of a fashion fail. In the end Mark went home without a rose, but it should have been Wes – if for no other reason than his completely disingenuous “I’m sorry about Ed – but I’m still here” comment when he accepted his rose. Because that comment? Made me want to kick things.
In conclusion comma I would just like to say that ED’S THE BEST ONE.
And now the whole thing is rurnt.
The end.
Yes. Ed is the best one. I could not watch and never look back now too…if it wasn’t for the hope that maybe there will be a twist and he comes running back to her…but then, that would be somewhat pathetic and I probably wouldn’t want to watch that either. Still…Ed IS the best one.
Okay BooMama, I have never commented on your blog before (despite being a pretty faithful follower), BUT I HAD to tell you that I laugh OUT LOUD when I read your Bachelor posts! Oh and I completely agree about Ed…I hope he rushes on stage at the after the rose finale, with his final rose in hand, and sweeps her off her feet and she takes him back! Wishful thinking? Probably and sadly!
I am in agreement with the above comment, I am a faithful follower, lets just call it what it is…a slight “stalker” but I’ve never commented, so here I am stepping across the “I’m not a creeper line”. I LOVE your Bachelorette recaps mostly because I laugh and agree with everything you say. With that being said, I don’t usually watch the “Next Week on The Bachelorette” segments at the end but shoot howdy I couldn’t be anymore uncomfortable this week watching it when they alluded to over night dates and erectile disfunction…sweet mercy there is just no saving face after that.
Waaaahhhh…..Ed needed to stay!!!! Durn stoopid job. But then again, if he can’t put his job on hold for this, would he ever put his job on hold for anything? I bet she doesn’t want to come in 2nd to a job. But still, I will miss him. I really thought he was the best one.
I don’t even watch this show but I LOVE reading your recaps! Immileigh and Jaycub? I love you!
I think you did Mrs. Scarborough proud with this post, Sophie. Loved the names for Kiptyn’s future children.
Did anyone else think that Wes’ beanie looked like a pair of fruit-o-the-loom on his head? I could not pay attentione to what he was saying because of those darn underwear on his head! Great recap, as usual!
Oh, how you make me laugh. You have such a talent for making things funny, just by the way you word them. Thanks a lot…we all need to laugh every day. Someone commented about the blurbs for next week..made me a bit uncomfortable..did it do that to anyone else..stepping over the line are they? Beautiful recap..you summed it up just right…thanks…
It is so much fun to just read your blog and not spend the evening watching this season. You are great and your teacher should be very proud!!!!
OKay…so I wish that I could just magically shrink you down to this little fairy that could sit on my shoulder all day and giving running comments throughout my activities…you ’bout crack me up and I sooooooo look forward to reading your blog every morning!!!
I was not sure what all happened because I forgot it was Monday and didn’t see anything until the “Ed” part. I was so very sad. There was so much crying.
And Wes needs to go.
And, I was hoping you would throw a little something in here about the promos for the next few weeks. Because I was floored, laughing, shocked, what? Hope you saw it. There is some drama coming apparently.
I haven’t watched in a while. So David and Juan aren’t there anymore?
Ok I’m another “never made a comment before” person. Although I’m a faithful blog stalker I mean blog follower of your blog. I look forward to your recaps each week. I think you summed up last night perfect! Your recaps make the show even more fun and enjoyable to watch because I get to relive the excitement the next morning when I read your blog. Thanks!
Immileigh and Jaycub made me CRACK UP!
I loved Ed too. I would have hated to be in his shoes.
Maybe Ed will make a DRAMATIC re-appearance later in the show and she’ll end up with him. This IS reality TV, after all!
Immileigh and Jaycub . . . priceless.
I love reading your recaps. I loved Ed too and he was the best one! He did keep that rose and you know how the Bachelor ended last season. I wouldn’t be suprised if ABC had Ed return before the end.
I loved Ed and was so sad to see him go. I hope there ends up being a twist and he comes back! I do like Kiptyn though, even if he does have a made up name! I can’t stand Wes, he drives me crazy every single episode.
Love your recaps! They always make me laugh!!
Thanks so much, BooMama because I desperately wanted to know how to spell ‘rurnt’ and now I know that it is r-u-r-n-t.
God bless you for that.
I agree about Ed. That stinks, doesn’t it? If he could’ve seen how upset she was, don’t you think he would’ve turned around? I do. I love him. Can’t stand Wes. And Tanner. I like Jesse, Jake, Reid and Kypton. Kiptyn. However you spell it.
Immileigh and Jaycub – I had to sound it out – priceless –
So someone has the job title BreakDance Instructor – is that like Graffitti Design Class? holy moley the world does spin on a slightly wobbly axis – so because a man is responsible enough to want to keep his job – he is outta there? Hmmm – says a LOT about the unemployed dudes who can take off that long to hang around and be AMAZING
Oh my gosh, Ed is SO the best one. He’s cute, manly, genuine, not dramatic, etc. etc. etc. I didn’t like that comment that Jillian made to him about not letting work get in the way when he’s found The One. Leaving the show is probably the most responsible thing that any of them has done. I hardly even want to keep watching, but I will because I am classy like that. But I was so sad to see him go!!!
I don’t watch this show, but have I ever told you my rurnt story?
If I have, do forgive.
A friend in college from a very small speck of a Texas town and a roommate from Houston will set the scene. They pulled some meat out of the freezer and inspected it. Hmm. Would this be good for supper? Small-town Chris says, “That meat is rurnt.”
But Houston Mike, not having ever heard this term, believes he said “This meat is burnt.”
“Burnt??? Burnt???? HOW CAN MEAT FROM THE FREEZER BE BURNT?”
So Chris gets in his face and hollers,
“NOT BURNT! RURNT!”
It is one of my favorite college memories.
I could kick Wes to high heaven! He drives me nuts and I cannot believe Jillian doesn’t see it.
And why isn’t Tanner gone yet? My guess is that she is keeping him around as an informant.
So sad about Ed.
Next Time On The Bachelorette…..
“In the most dramatic After The Final Rose we have ever seen. Jillian tells all the guys that she has secretly been seeing Ed on the side….”
:)
Immileigh and Jaycub…hahahaha
I totally agree. Ed was the best one. I think you could tell by her reaction that she thought so too… bring on the sloppy seconds.
I MISS ED ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanted to cry like a baby last night when Ed left. He’s just PERFECT. And not like Jake perfect, but just so lovely and sweet. I was so sad for Jillian, right up until I realized that Ed might still be single. And I’m single. ROAD TRIP TO ED’S HOMETOWN anyone???
You post has me laughing so hard that I can barely write this message. For two seasons now I have been watching the Bachelorette because Jeremy (Deanna) and Wes are both from my home town and we all grew up together. Looks like our small town boys are keeping ABC on their toes. They are both from Huntsville, TX. Wes lives in Austin now for his music and Jeremy is in Dallas. We have our 15 year reunion comming up soon so it will be interesting to see who they bring as dates…
OH, Ed…I’m so sad! Reid is my next fave, but I am still hoping that things wont work out and we hear that she has called up Ed and they are together after all.
I don’t even watch the show, but I LOVE to read your write-up’s. Props to you friend!
I assume the “rurnt” is Southern-speak for “ruined”? I am a BC girl, so I love to pick up these expressions. Though without a drawl I assume that my pronunciation is just awful. No matter, I shall use that word all.day.long now.
LOVE the recaps. I think Ed will be back. Mark my words. Ed shall return.
I think Jake is pretty awesome, but I think she said something telling when she said “Jake is *perfect* but I am *not*” so I think she doesn’t really like him. Too bad. I just want his abs. Did I say that out loud?
And Immileigh and Jaycub — oh that did me in! Let me share one that is a real name — Klowie. Chloe for the rest of us, but apparently Mom & Dad are the edgy type. My word!
And as for Ed — LOVED him. Wanted it to be Ed, Jake and Kiptyn (even with the weird name) in the final three and you’re right, it’s Rurnt!
Oh, the coming up scenes… people please, is nothing sacred. We have all mannner of stuff being discussed. Stuff that needs to stay behind the covers of a romance novel… or rather the back pages of a low-rent magazine.
I agreee, I kept waiting for Wes to do a CD promo. And OH MY why can’t she get rid of Tanner? He is a prissy tattle tale.
Two things:
1. If Jillian soars to new heights with her beaus in anymore episodes, she’s gonna find herself straight up in the middle of outer space. It’s like every week!
2. Ed SO is the best one. And to me, he kind flew under the radar for a while but that’s neither here nor there. He’s the best one. And I think he will resurface.
Yes! Ed was the best one! He DID keep the rose though…
I was surprised at how “broken up” she seemed when Ed left, after all, she had been on a glacier & “steamy” hot tub w/Jesse just a few hours earlier. Did you notice Michael jut got one peck on the cheek and then 50 hugs. She has NOT kissed Tanner ever (not that I would). Wes makes me want to scratch someone’s eyes out. Oh! And my hubby was in disbelief after seeing next week’s promo. WHO would go on national tv and reveal having THAT PROBLEM? No shame, people! Anyway, now that we got that out of the way, it’s killing me – WHO IS IT???
Your site and design and humor make me laugh:) I agree; Ed was awesome but I kind of have a soft spot for Kiptyn and Jake. Kiptyn can kiss like nobody’s business; Lord have mercy. I also loved: “And now the whole thing is rurnt:) Very clever blog BooMama;)
ED WAS THE BEST!!! I wouldn’t put it past the show to bring him back in some dramatic fashion though. Which I secretly am hoping for. Maybe he will come back exposing Wes for what he truly is… what a scumbag.
I saw your blog on Kelly’s Korner so I thought I would come by. I agree with you that Ed was a good guy. I’m suprised that he really left the show. Wes or Tanner should have gone home, I don’t think I trust what Tanner told Jillian about some of the guys having girlfriends. If that’s the case why didn’t he tell her who it was! You do a great recap I’ll have to come next week lol.
I forgot to add my blog so you know who i am lol.
I like Jake best I think. Did you see the promo for next week where Wes talks up his CD some more??! It looks like he’ll be around for a while…
Love me some Reid. I believe Ed is coming back…..just guessing on that.
This recap is too funny – and I am sad to say that I also watch Tori & Dean and had the exact same thought about Whistler! Also, I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on the previews from last night – someone has performance anxiety???
He’s gonna RURN it! That’s just what my father-in-law from Mississippi says. That made my whole day. And my husband’s, too! :)
I don’t know… Ed was okay but props for not giving up his career in this economy for a girl who may or may not give him the time of day next week… she was mad b/c he should have known his boss was going to threaten to fire him before he committed to being on the show? Come on, people.
I like Kyptyn (sp?)… despite the odd name, they actually have chemistry together and they’re one of the only couples that do.
I only appreciate the Tanner P. as “the rat” storyline because it got him to stop talking about feet! Thank goodness.
I was so sad that Ed left, but I’m hoping maybe he comes back (fat chance probably). Now I’m wondering if she will pick Kiptyn or just not pick anyone. You could tell she was pretty heartbroken that he was gone. He is so cute and a great dresser! I just don’t get how Jillian cannot see that Wes is there for the wrong reasons! You are right at any moment you could just see him slipping out a cd to promote his upcoming albumn! He has to go! Great recap!
I liked Ed, but I’m not really broken up about it. I like Kiptyn, Jesse and Jake… but I don’t think Jake will be around much longer. I half expected her not to give out all the roses tonight. I could see her not giving them to Tanner or Jake. I wish she could see what we see about Wes. Tanner is a punk… he should tell her the truth about him or not say anything at all.
I, too, love your recaps.
Hi Boomama! Totally off-topic, but I know you’re an American Idol fan, and I wanted to let you know that I got to do a radio interview with Danny Gokey today! He was adorable. You can check it out here:
http://cindyswanslife.blogspot.com/2009/06/my-interview-with-danny-gokey.html
rurnt was the best word in the whole post. LOL!
I think I, like Jillian, didn’t realize how much I liked Ed until Ed was leaving.
I still say Kiptyn FTW!
They were in Whistler on Gene Simmons Family Jewels (ahem) as well. I think Whistler is really bumping up the PR campaign because that’s where a lot of the Olympic events are being held next year.
you are so funny! i love your weekly re-caps of the bachelor/bachelorette. ed was def the best, i agree. and your comment about immileigh and jaycub made me laugh out loud. :)
I totally agree! Ed is by far the best out of this group of goofs! He’s normal and cute and now he’s gone and Jillian is for some odd reason left hanging on to Toe Boy and Willie Nelson Wannabe. Icky. I also loved (read: totally didn’t get) how she was so reassuring to Ed when she gave him the rose, telling him to think about it and she’d support whatever decision he made. Except when he made the only decision he could, she was all cold and crying saying how he should have thought about this before he came on the show. I’m thinking Ms. Jillian is a tad on the immature side. It’s just a hunch.
Okay, here’s our spousal commentary… we’ve pretty much already forgotten about this weeks episode in light of the previews for next week. I forgot all about the “fantasy suite” and my husband didn’t know about it so he’s completely grossed out. I remember now that this is the reason I would never do this show (when I was still single) for that one reason. I mean really? You’d go that far with multiple people in one week??? (beyond the fact that you’re not married or anything).
Oh, and that “dancing” of Tanner’s in his unmentionables? I think he’s going home next week.
I’m sad Ed left. I didn’t feel like we really knew that much about him… Personally I like Jake, but perhaps he is a bit too straight laced for her. Robby is too young and immature, and I don’t know that Michael is serious enough. I like Jesse a lot and possibly Kypton… no matter the name! Although relationships based solely on chemistry are not off to a good start…
Wes? Just sooo bad. Needs to go home, but I don’t know when he’ll show his true colors!
How’s that for analysis? :)
Boomama,
YOU MAKE ME HOWL!!!! I love your posts about everything but the Bachelorette ones crack me right up!!!! Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts!!!
I think Wes is a doorknob! Did you see the previews next week of him saying that he’s been around enough weeks to have some publicity! I YELLED AT THE TV!
I like Kiptyn and Jake but especially liked Ed. What a bummer!
You are a FANTASTIC writer! Don’t stop!
Oh I so agree!!! I LOVE ED!
Greatness!
Yes, Wes is bad news bears. I do not like him at all. And I just know it’s not just the doom and gloom music they play whenever he’s got a close up. He really is slimy.
I read your blog often but don’t really comment but I have to today because I totally agree with you about wanting to kick things after Wes made his ‘I’m sorry about Ed’ – UGH what a creep. I had a yelling at the TV moment that went something like this “ohhhh I can’t believe you just said that – go write another song and get off the show already”. I can’t wait for Wes to be gone, I hope she sees through him in the coming weeks and kicks him to the curb. Tanner P – well he just needs to go because the whole foot fetish thing is just gross and every time they show him, his eyes are as big as dollar coins for some reason. It is borderline creepy.
I agree too that Ed was the best one. One he is adorable, two he seemed so sincere, three he’s smart, and four well he just seemed to be the whole package and you can tell he was really there for her. I’m sad he’s gone and now I’m not sure who to pull for. Oh well, glad it’s not my decision to make. Thanks for the weekly updates I always enjoy reading them.
Can I just tell you that I love Reid? Is that strange that I’m the only one pulling for him? I don’t think so. And knowing you as I do (I really don’t, but I really wish I did) I think you should start cheering for Reid now that Ed is gone. Why? Because with his glasses and his little lopsided smirk, he looks exactly like Chandler Bing. And while Chandler Bing is not “officially” a real person, Matthew Perry is, and Reid looks like him. And I love all three of them.
Ed was good. I liked Ed.
Now, Jake is good too. Actually, I think Jake is Great. Not too perfect. A real gentleman.
Jake is Great!
(Gimme some chocolate cake!)
…sorry, had to do that. Something about saying that reminded me of the Bill Cosby Himself video where he rhymed chocolate cake with great, and now I have to go find something chocolate in this house to eat.
the end.
LOVE your recaps.
Immileigh and Jaycub – hilarious!
I agree with everything you said.
Seriously, you could have done a “recap” on just the scenes from the coming weeks!! What in the HECK? If it’s really as it appears (which it rarely ever is)…this show is going downhill in a hurry!
Oh my…how you crack me up!
And you’ve tricked me into my first comment ever (here anyway) because you love Ed. I do too. Firstly, he smacks of Robert Downey, Jr. (LOVE) and he also smacks of Ed the bowling alley lawyer (if you never watched that show you have no idea what I’m talking about but whatever)
So I’m holding on to the hope that there will be a big “twist” and Ed will reappear. So I guess I have to keep watching.
Your Mrs. Scarbrough would totally hate this disjointed comment…
Agreed.
I don’t watch the Bachelor…I just read your posts. It takes a lot less time and is infinitely more entertaining….
Immileigh and Jacub? LOL Awesome!
I’m bummed Ed left, you are right, he was the best one. Jake is so cute, but he may have a complex about being perfect. The preview for next week, eeewww, This show is going downhill FAST.
Oh how your blog blesses me so … thank you for sharing your witty ways with us. God is good to give us laughter.
And you’re right by the way … He is the best one.
By now you probably are not even reading these comments anymore. I’m quite a few days late reading your post on The Bachelorette, but that is just my life. Can you believe grown women like us with kids and all even watch this crazy show? Who’d a thunk it!
Yes, Ed is the best and it is a travesty that he had to go back to work, but then I guess he actually lives in the real world. I don’t know about the rest of them. I was a little ticked with Jilian’s response to his departure. I could understand sad, but not mad. A little self-centered, I’d say. No not everyone can put their job on hold to go find their soulmate. That’s just not how it’s done in the real world!
Your names for Jilian and Kiptyn’s kids are hilarious! When I read them I had to stop and say them in my head with your voice, which I am familiar with from your podcasts. Actually, I read you whole blog with your voice in my head – makes it even more hilarious. Besides, it is my one opportunity to “hear” someone else speak with a southern drawl because I live in Arizona where no one else talks like me, a misplaced Georgia girl. So I appreciate your blog on several levels – wonderful witty writing and that lovely southern voice I read it with, in my head that is!
I have to admit, I just started reading your blog and I already really like it! While I do love Ed, I think my favorite is Jake. :) [He’s my mom’s too, but we loved Ed and hated to see him go!] Anyways, I love your blog and stories and everything. Especially The Bachelorette posts!
PS. Don’t be ashamed about watching Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, I’m a devout follower of that show too!
So I haven’t read any blogs in a while and I’m catching up tonight…I just wanted to thank you for writing “I’m telling you: that LA zipline moved about as fast as a robotic papaw in a slow-motion shuffleboard tournament.” It made me LOL, which is quite the feat since I make no noise when I laugh. I can’t get over the imagery.
And Immileigh and Jaycub! Oh my WORD! LOL!