Tomorrow we’ll be home (tonight we’re in Memphis at my brother and SIL’s house), but we had a grand ole time in sunny Florida. The boys have been so much fun, and may I just say? The appetizers-for-supper idea?
PERFECTION.
Now granted, if we had husbands with us, the appetizers idea wouldn’t have been nearly as successful because they would have been wondering when we were going to eat The Real Supper, aka The Supper With All The Meat. But for Janie and me (or, as your various and sundry reality television participants might say, “for her and I”), the appetizers worked beautifully. Can’t recommend them enough.
And as is the case on most trips, we had a few Favorite Things emerge. For instance.
These pickles are divine. And this was our second jar, because the first jar? ALL GONE.
We arrived at the beach armed with plenty-o-magazines (I also took two books, but for some reason I gravitate to magazines at the beach. Maybe it’s because I read two sentences of a book before I’m all Look! Pretty water! Shiny sun! Sand! SAND! SANNNNNNNNNNNNND!)
Anyway, we found a new favorite magazine on our trip. But please forgive the poor photo quality because my camera has decided it’s no longer interested in focusing consistently. It just focuses when it wants to. It’s very moody, my camera.
Great articles, incredible recipes, and if you watch Food Network as frequently as we do, you’ll love all the behind-the-scenes articles on the shows and the chefs.
And please let me show you my sassy, out-of-focus hat that is my new best friend forever and for always.
Got it at the Walmarts for ten bucks. Will wear it for years and perhaps bronze it at some point. It’s the first hat of my whole life that sits with authority on my abnormally large-yet-flat head.
It also works beautifully when I’m wrestling crocodiles in the outback.
Finally, I mentioned this on the Twitter earlier, but it bears repeating. There was a sweet, elderly woman who I saw in the pool (not at the pool – IN the pool) several times this week, and each time I marveled at her ability to keep her entire body submerged in the water while every single strand of her hair stayed completely dry. It was obvious that she’d been to the beauty shop before she got to the beach, and she was preserving that ‘do like nobody’s business. It was remarkable, really.
So yesterday I was gathering all of our noodles and towels and goggles and whathaveyou, and I saw the older lady on the other side of the pool. I figured she had just walked up because she wasn’t in the water yet and was still wearing a very cute cover-up. She was visiting with her family, making sure everybody had enough water and whathaveyou, and as we walked in her direction I found myself thinking how sweet it was that she’d made the trip to the beach. She had to have been in her mid-80s, at least, but Granny was turning it out with some sassy swimwear and appeared to be all manner of adorable. Just watching her made me smile.
And then – when we were just a couple of feet away from her and her family’s table – do you know what I noticed? DO YOU KNOW?
Granny was wearing support hose underneath her swimsuit. Not medical hose – just really nice, sturdy pantyhose. In sort of a Travel Buff shade. Sandalfoot, of course – no reinforced toe. She was poolside, after all. And y’all know that all I could think of was Dolly Parton in Steel Magnolias: “I haven’t left the house without lycra on these thighs since I was 14.”
I’m telling you: Granny and her poolside hose blessed my heart. She looked fabulous. Her legs had a lovely, even tone, and quite frankly she possessed an air of confidence that I can only hope to have when I’m in my mid-80s. Now granted, she was probably burning slap up, but as we all know, fashion often requires sacrifices.
And honestly, those sacrifices are so much easier to make when you have a really good control top.
The end.
Now that is funny! I haven’t put on a pair of hose in 12 years!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is classic. I don’t think I’ve worn hose in ten years. And I hopefully will never have to again.
Glad you had a great vacation! Memphis, eh? I’m in Chattanooga. Now *that* is a boring drive. LOL
Good Lord! Seriously, only the good Lord would send such a fashion feast- God love the woman who never gives up the need to look good by the pool. We should all remember her and be glad!
This is hilarious….and brings up a question I have been puzzling about for quite some time.
When should you/should you not wear pantyhose??
My mother and I constantly have this argument.
Any thoughts ladies??
That was too funny! Thanks for sharing it!
Too funny!! I wonder if she wears the panty hose when she plans on getting in the pool too or are they special for poolside lounging? HI-larious!
I would so much rather have seen Granny than the man I saw in our grocery store wearing a beautiful sleeveless ruffled blue blouse with matching blue fingernail polish. You can do whatever you want when you are in your 80’s and are the matriarch!
Only in the South! I want to know if she wore them in the pool too. How funny. I have a feeling that when I’m 80, I’m not going to care nearly that much. But good for her!
The hose story tickled me to death! And please tell me where you found that magazine! I have been looking for it at every store I have entered for months now, but no one seems to carry it! I am addicted to the FN and can only imagine how awesome the mag is.
Seriously there is a generation of women that wouldn’t dream of leaving the house without hose- God love ’em. When my SIL, who is 10 years older than me, passed along some maternity wear for work she shared the necessity of finding good maternity hose. No way! I could not wrap my bloated pegnant body in a nylon wrap for a whole day. Needless to say, styles have changed. I bet Granny was quite the fashion plate in her day and sounds like she still is. Very cute story.
I love it! While I, personally, cannot imagine wearing nylons (well, ever, frankly) to the pool, I’ll bet she looked stunning! Great story.
Thank goodness she skipped the reinforced toe! Oh, that made me smile!
I’m embarrassed to admit that I still like the pantyhose. Not at the pool, mind you, but on dress up days. I don’t wear them that much because I think people stare and then go home and write blog posts about me. I have this thing about putting bare feet in a shoe that is not a sandal. Icky.
Maybe they were her version of SPF 50.
just found your blog – LOVE you already. what a hoot!
The pantyhose are the reason she was IN the pool, not BY the pool – it was too hot not to be in the cool water! Glad you had a great time!
There is always a Steel Magnolias quote applicable for every moment in life. I love it!
Oh Sophie, I love you. You make me smile on the most dismal of days.
I have an aunt who wears panty hose poolside. And she always wears a full face of very heavy makeup, to boot…very, very shiny makeup. Because she is burning slap up, I’m quite sure.
Oh, that was hilarious. That Granny is SO GOING TO BE my mom in about 20 years. My mom won’t check the mailbox outside without a fresh coat of lipstick. And heaven forbid you go out anywhere with old underwear…I mean, you might be in an accident and the EMT’s could see your Hanes Her Ways from 1983. (We seriously had that conversation).
And I LOVE the Food Network magazine. Nothing gets done around my house until I have read it cover-to-cover.
Dolly Parton is my hero. This was especially reinforced when we went to Dollywood a couple of weeks ago. Steel Magnolias is the best thing she did other than 9 to 5!
Oh my goodness! I knew it was going to be good from the title of your post! Sophie, that was “classic BooMama”!
You are a TREAT!
Granny in pantyhose pooside-pain for beauty! She is a dying breed.
Yes, that magazine rocks. Did you see the last issue with Barefoot Contessa’s kitchen. I wanted to move in.
A. is upset that I subscribed to this magazine b/c every publication I subscribe to goes under shortly after. I’ve killed off Blueprint, Domino, and a few others I can’t remember any more. And since we both like this new Food Network mag., he’s very concerned that I will pull this company under, too.
My husband’s faith in me and my impact on the publishing world is inspiring, no?
You know, lifeguards in Australia wear panty hose to protect them from jelly fish stings – were there perhaps a large infestation of jelly fish on the pool deck? Didn’t think so, but it was worth the question. :-)
And Olympia Dukakis’s follow-up to Dolly Parton’s line about spandex on her thighs: “You were brought up right.”
Oh my goodness… Sophie, you are so hilarious.
And in a single post, you quoted Steel Magnolias and blessed someone’s heart. If you had mentioned biscuits and gravy, it would have been a Southern trifecta!
Oh my goodness! I gasped! Then started laughing and couldn’t stop! That is SO hilarious! I have to say, confidence covers a multitude of goofiness! God bless her!
http://walkaschildren.blogspot.com/
My first contest!
That made me smile, too. Love it!
Oh Boomama…. you know I love you more than my luggage!
Boomama, you can always make me LOL!
And even though I’m a southern girl and I adore Steel Magnolias, I avoid pantyhose at all costs and have for years. I loathe them!
I wonder if this releases me to wear my Spanx to the beach?
That’s why they are the greatest generation…
Love this post! You are so funny and I love your humor and style of writing! Can’t wait to get my hands on that magazine. Glad you all had a great time. Wishing you a safe trip home!
My 78 year old grandmother always wears hose at the beach & pool. I think it’s just a part of being from that generation and the South.
I am smiling so huge right now at the thought of Granny. HAAAA!!
Totally love that. :D
i have found a kindered spirit! i have no clue how many times i hear “her and I” and want to scream!! I also have a great aunt who- in her 70’s- still wears pantyhose EVERYwhere, including under her pj’s to sleep!
I laughed out loud (which is risky when you work in a cube environment because it clearly indicates that you are not working on what you *should* be working on)!! Especially at this line: “…Now granted, she was probably burning slap up, but as we all know, fashion often requires sacrifices.”
But I’m with ya’, I hope I have that much spunk at 80!
ROTFL
This post just made my day.
Except for the age difference, I swear this woman is the twin of my mom. Dear mom won’t go anywhere without: panties (nice pretty ones that match her bra), girdle or Spanx, AND pantyhose under her pants or skirt. Even at home sometimes just around the house she puts on the hose. Can you imagine in this heat? (we live in the Birmingham area). And full makeup/lipstick/hairspray is a must. I love her to death and I know she will always look great but I gave up the hose a loooong time ago and mascara is about the only makeup I wear anymore. Guess I’m just a rebel!
first things first, i love your blog.
and i can not think of a better dinner than appetizers. yuuummmmm…
and… bless that granny’s little heart and lycra covered legs. that is just adorable.
Boo-
Please tell us…did she wear those hose to swim too?? Do you know?
I did a brief stint in high school as a synchronized swimmer (really!) and we wore tights in our production for some numbers. They start to stretch and grow and you end up with room for an extra leg or two in the bottom. Imagine us swimming with our legs in the air (which I think was called ballet leg) with an extra leg’s worth of tights flopping off the end of our feet! terrible!
So I was curious if this granny came out of the water slapping some extra hose around the deck…or if she has some trick to keeping them put.
I do love her…
HAHAHA!
Had I read it on Twitter, I would’ve driven myself right down to Florida to see hose-bedecked Granny in person. The last of a dying breed…
Granny sounds awesome. Thanks for sharing that story!
Love the hat. I pray I am an active Granny,too.
“for her and I”. Priceless. Love it. You would think an English teacher wanting to get famous would jump on that opportunity. Just sayin.
You’ve made this “blog stalker” who does not comment, laugh out loud AND comment. ‘You and me’ have an eerily similar sense of humor.
A little fun FYI for you. I know you don’t care about ‘the show’ in real life, but my daughter met Wes, in real life, a few weeks ago. She said he was very much the jerk we all know and don’t love, and that he wanted to know if she was coming to see his band perform that weekend. My girl acted like she didn’t know what he was talking about! Yep, we raise ’em right, here in Texas!!!
Last of all, I’m on the road tomorrow with mom and sister and can’t wait to tell them the hose story. I seriously don’t think I even own a pair of panty hose anymore. I guess the next time someone dies [or I go to the pool] I’ll have to go to the hose store.
Happy weekend!
I CANNOT stop laughing. That is a classic. You should have suggested the Jergen’s Natural Glow for her to get that gradual tan look she was attempting to achieve. Poor thing.
And I bet Granny’s L’eggs didn’t “look like two pigs fightin’ under a blanket!”
I just love Steel Magnolia’s! If only you had made an armadillo cake as an appetizer this week! Whahahahaha!!!
I love that woman and I do not even know her :). How adorable can you get?!
AWESOME
Oh my! Poor hot granny!
Hose are the devil!
And with a swimsuit…..EVIL EVIL DEVIL!
I agree about the dips/appetizers and husbands! They just don’t get it do they?
Weirdos!
oh, boomama – i’m coming off a 15 hour migraine & this story sooooo helped. i don’t care if your camera is having “focusing issues”, couldn’t you at least have snapped a shot for us?
i wish my mom was still on earth so i could have shared this laugh with her. even though she wouldn’t go to the doctor unless she had a fresh perm, she would have gotten a big kick out of this!
i loved the appetizer dinners idea!
When I first moved to LA a million years ago, I went to the beach with friends. I wore a cute jean skirt. And panty hose. My friends made fun of me until I took them off and stuffed them into my purse. A purse. And pantyhose. At the beach. I had an awful lot to learn.
The next time I wore pants. :)
Re: The Appetizers
I haven’t had a steak at Outback in years. I always get the cheese fries, salad and shrooms. Stuffed before I finish my “first course”.
I might have to try that trick – think how long it took you to notice! That is Spanx for the legs. I’d much rather see an 80 year old great granny in panty hose than the 80 year old geezer in a speedo who stalks me every time I go to a beach, either in Florida or Alabama
That is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time! Thanks for starting my morning with a laugh!
I have a freakishly large head. In HS 40 years ago the band director had to special order my majorette hat. I’m still not over it. :)
I’m going to Walmart tomorrow for your hat.
And, I like your blog, a lot. :)
LJ
I just laughed out loud because I have had my first summer without wearing pantyhose with a dress/skirt to CHURCH!! I know my dearly departed mother would just roll her eyes at me. It is weird for my generation (60ish) to go to God’s House without their hose on but there I am and I have lived through it!
By the way, the Lord overlooked my white legs and blessed me anyway!! I think teaching a young adults class urged me on! So I am Hose-free and proud!
The pantyhose on older ladies in their summer attire must be a Florida thing. My new Step-Mom does the same thing, although I haven’t seen her do it in a bathing suit… yet ;-) TOO FUNNY though!
I giggled my head off at your reference to poor Jilly & Reid at the start of your post. Very cute ;-)
Glad you had such a great time in Florida. :-D
As long as she doesn’t attempt the water in said hose. Can you even imagine? I wanna be just like her someday sans hose.
Two of my favorite things in this post — a nod to the pronoun failure on reality tv and a mention of Steel Magnolias. Girl, you got the skillz!
I LOVE the pantyhose wearing granny! Oh, if I could only do it. I KNOW I look better with the Spanx on but I just can’t do it in this heat. I tip my hat to the Granny’s of this world who continue to put fashion before comfort. I’m from the generation …. who knows.
R u still in fl, stop on by over here in NSB, FL. Plenty of ganny fare in these parts.
So funny.
Amanda
i had to laugh about the hose, as i remember my sister showing up for a family gathering at my parents with shorty shorts on and panty hose un with the shorts. i was horrified. here we were, raised on the beach, surfer chicks, and she does this? crazy girl. thank goodness she outgrew that phase.
–mari
Hahaha! Obviously, she was a SOUTHERN granny. Because, Lord have mercy, you’d NEVER see that up here!
Oh…I am loving this Granny! Thanks for sharing this….
I guess she wasn’t planning on swimming at all.
LOVE.IT. This is the first real smile I have had in a long time. THANKS.
OH, your writing does make me smile :). But please answer me this, how did those pantyhose not get runs in them? Did she wear shoes? What kind?!
Oh my stars… that is one for the keeper file in my brain.
So funny.
I can only hope I am half that cute whan I am her beautiful age!!!!!!!! She sounds adorable,hose and all!
This makes me really miss my grandmother and two great-aunts that have passed in the last few years. They were so sweet and quirky. Look forward to spending the weekend with you!