Listen.
I know I stopped writing recaps of “The Bachelor,” but I need to say something, and I’ll say it quickly, and then we’ll all brush our hair and put on some fresh lip gloss and move on.
Tenley’s dance = great wellsprings of joy
Now granted, it was a little bit of an uncomfortable joy there at the beginning, but it was joy nonetheless. Plus, I don’t know about y’all, but when David and I were dating, I often relied on choreography and interpretive dance to express my deepest feelings.
Oh, I kid.
And also: if doing ballet as an adult will give me calves like Tenley’s, then mama here needs to run by the store and pick up a fresh pair of pink slippers this afternoon.
There. That was enough.
I feel better now.
Oh, how I have missed these. I only wish you would talk a little bit about Ally sitting in the middle of the hallway floor and having herself a good cry.
I have a friend who misses your posts about the Bachelor so much. Me too. :)
As soon as I saw a glimpse of next weeks show I thought of you. The infamous helicopter date. lol
Tenley, bless her heart.
Ali, took a page from Ed’s move with Jillian although I don’t think it will work out for her as it did for Ed.
Okay, moving on.
OH wait, Gia’s mom reading Jake’s cards….okay, enough said, lol
When Ally broke down in the hallway, looking like a spoiled 8 yr old, I looked at M and sd “I wonder what S is saying about that” and YES I’m secure enough in my manhood to admit to watching The B. Hope you and family are doing well.
Oh my word does she have some incredible muscles or what?
My husband has been watching the show with me…he got sucked in on the first night because our girls were home from college. They went back to school and now he gets to watch it with me. He is hysterical…I’m considering having him write something for my blog. He mostly makes a lot of jokes but every now and then throws in some deep question…like last night when Tenleys sweet dad was grilling Jake he asked if we needed to have that conversation with our daughter’s boyfriend. Oh it’s too much.
Right? Her calves were fierce! I kept exclaiming out loud – “Look at those calves!”
I’m a little sad though, because all the talk on the town is that he picks Vienna in the end. I guess I keep watching in the hopes that it just isn’t true. Well, and I keep watching for the unexpected dance routines and whatever drama the producers can dream up – and the 45 minutes of sob sessions over the Job vs Jake debate.
It wasn’t just a dance. It was the “dance of [her] heart.”
I really hope you’ll get back to this soon, because I’ve missed your updates so, so much. You don’t have to blog it all; just comment on the little absurdities. Please?
I have SO missed your little Bachelor updates!!! So can I say that I seriously cried when Ali left? She is so cute. [sigh] oh well.
You just gave a popsicle to a starving child. Please give more bachelor recaps!!! They so delight me!
Oh girl, can I just tell you how much someone who woke up to a freezing home sans functioning heater and was then stopped by the SWAT team leader for calling the landlord in a school zone surely needed that bit of brilliance. Like, seriously!
And did I mention that Mr. SWAT told me that I could go ahead and go before they called back with the “all clear” on my license because “if you’re wanted, I’ll just hunt you down.”
Needed this laugh more than words can express. Now back to trying to sort out the mess of my hacked into iTunes account.
I thought the dance was sweet, and echo your awkward sentiments… Here’s my analysis of the cause of said awkwardness:
1. Canon in D? Hello! Can you say traditional wedding song?
2. Talking about her ex-husband all the time seemed kind of weird to me.
3. One nervous performer + one audience member who doesn’t quite know what to expect + nobody else but a camera crew = awkward
Also, there was mention that we are in store for THE MOST DRAMAMTIC BACHELOR ROSE CEREMONY EVER! Again.
Oh yes! I was hoping that you would make some comment and BEHOLD! There it was! Thank you! Her sweet daddy made up for the awkwardness of that interpretive dance. And I would kill for her legs as well but don’t think a pair of soft shoes will get me very far…
I too have greatly missed your Bachelor recaps. I have thought Ali was the cutest since the very beginning but she seemed a little fake last night. I don’t how I want it to end now. Gia’s mom reading his cards was way too weird for me. I think Vienna is well not very pretty. and Tenley is so cute and sweet but maybe not ready for him yet.
Hahahahahaha!!! You are a hoot! :) Love you!
I’m glad that others noticed her calves! Have mercy. I may have had a bit of jealousy.
Somehow I had blocked out Ali’s meltdown in the hallway until I saw the comments. Bless her heart. Meltdown…ok, but wait until you get to your room.
I’m so glad you came back to us with this recap.
this is my first season to watch and that’s when you decide to cease your recaps? what is this world coming to? surely it’s more fun to recap all the drama here instead of the consistenly awkward office? more, i want more! :)
Ok, I’m so glad I’m not the only one who noticed the “Great Calves of 2010” of course I then started planning and dreaming of how I could get calves like that and decided that it was too much work. I’ve missed your Bachelor recaps so much!! Especially since Vienna is um, shall we say “colorful”. I keep wondering what your take on her is ;-)
Oh come on- don’t you have anything at all to say about Vienna? You know you want to.
Oh, those calves! My husband has gotten as equally addicted to the show as I am, and I kept looking at him saying “did you see her calves?” I’m still in awe.
What can we give you to do these? Maybe you could just do a personal one for me every week. H
Oh, how I envied her calves!!!!
But, did she REALLY have to dance to the “wedding song?” This show (especially JAKE) is filled with SO much cheese…but I just cant stop watching!
That made me real happy.
We reenacted the dance here at work, or I guess I should say I played the part of Tensley and acted out the whole scene to my co-workers. Even the non-Bachelor watchers were impressed when I did the swan dip at “Jake’s” chair- with the leg extension.
I love Tenley…..but she really needs to leave the ex in the dust. I’m sure Jake has had it up to….here! I do hope he picks her!!!! When Ali looked at the other 3, it just seemed like she was thinking….I can’t win!
Oh,I just knew you would enjoy that little performance!!! Kinda like the one on the beach perhaps? Hmmm! Am loving this Bachelor and hoping Ali gets it together and turns right back around and goes after her man! I’m such a sap!
I am so glad I am not the only one who misses your Bachelor recaps!! MORE MORE MORE!
Well…I wish I could count the number of times I rolled my eyes when she was dancing.
I don’t know, but for some reason I was highly uncomfortable. What does that say? Don’t answer.
And…please…for the love of my sanity…make the girl who left STOP THE CRYING. I couldn’t take it.
:)
All I hafta say is that my mind’s eye has to be PUT OUT I tell ya when I imagine said interpretive dance you coulda woulda maybe dun for DH!!! My stomach is also very soar from laughing out loud at such a thought ;o
i didn’t watch most of it so i missed the dance…but i will go a searchin for it online now that you’ve drawn my attention to it.
the dance…well…fabulous but what about the awkardness when she appeared to fall out of the top of her oh so fabulous dancing attire???
It was truly a wellspring of joy…..nothing says desperate like a little lyrical jazz.
While I have NO IDEA what you’re talking about and have NEVER seen this show, I do have a pair of ballet slippers in the door pocket of my car.
Cause you never know when you’re going to want to pirouette through the grocery.
:)
Joanne
My husband asked me if I felt he had hindered my expression of love for him, but not allowing me to show him my choreographed moves…. haha.
Oh my. I could be way off base here, but I think Ali is the worst actor of all time. That episode set an all-time record of corniest moments. Ugh.
Four ladies declaring their undying love to a man who admits he is falling in love with FOUR women at the same time? Geez.
Can’t wait til next week!
Oooohhhh, what joy to see a Bachelor recap, albeit a miniature one! I’ll take it, though, and love it. What is your prediction of the final girl standing? Do you think he chooses any of them? I think he may have chosen Vienna, but then when he realizes how high maintenance she is, it doesn’t work out. My prediction is that by ATFR, he is not with anyone.
Thanks for the little taste!
Ok, so here’s what I think. Ali was totally fake crying through the entire thing…I couldn’t tell if she was trying to whimper or sob or what she was trying to do but that.was.not.natural.
Also…anytime I hear Vienna’s name I instinctively put “sausage” at the end of it. Anyone else do that? Just me? Ok then.
Also- Vienna Sausage isn’t the prettiest thing on there, but she does have a quality to her that he must find appealing. I’m going to go with not-so-quiet desperation…as opposed to Ali’s loud “umm you have 3 other women here and I’m just not that into you-ness” quality.
I had to hide behind a pillow when the dance was on. I was very embarrased for her. I wonder what she thought when she saw that aired last night?
About to bust, huh? I was so happy to read this little Bachelor bit because this season has been a filled with bloggy worthy stuff. And to Jen, yes Vienna should have the word sausage following it.
So much good stuff this season. So much. And next up The Fantasy Suite…. aka, the hangout and chat room and PLEASE do NOT tell me anything else. I cannot believe it. I cannot.
I swore last week that I would quit watching when he sent the “virgin” home…but sneaked a peek last night and got sucked in again. Did anyone notice the blanket on the back of the chair at Tenley’s parent’s house? It said “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” If he picks Vienna, I will never watch the Bachelor again. Well, maybe never.
I’m with Julie – I had to look away during the dance. It was just so…so…awkward. And the tarot cards? HI-LARIOUS! I just think he ended up with three super-neurotic women…this cannot end well…
(thanks for throwing us a bone, Boo!)
Oh how I have missed your Bachelor recaps! But..I do understand why you don’t write them. I was thinking the dance was a tad on the weird side, but she is my favorite. I really like how they lead us to think that Tenley wins!…Goodness!
Even though the dance had its awkward moments…I felt it was sweet. Just like Tenley.
The dance – ah the dance. My DH also commented on the incredible calves of steel. Despite every indication this bach will be as dumb as others (and pick Vienna – which makes me thing sausage every time I hear her name!) I have hopes he will pick Gia(read Jake’s blog about funny part of the Tarot card incident– – or at least Tenley. Ali is indeed the alleycat -not impressed with her. How in the world do these people make a commitment? I mean surely you make arrangements with your job? Oh well – another season of hoping people are better than most of us really are. At least someone has FAR better legs than moi can hope to attain.
Always nice to find another gal who understands the importance of a good tv show to escape into.
You DO have great calves like Tenley!!! And I’m not kidding!!!
Why did you stop sharing your entertaining summaries of the Bachelor anyway? We are obviously still all watching the senseless, silly show….I wish you would rethink your decision and give us your insight. Miss it.
My hubby was trying to sleep while I watched on the DVR. I knew he was secretly watching when I heard him burst out laughing at THE DANCE.
I promised him that after 14 years of marriage I would make up for not showing him the ‘dance of my heart’ by performing for him a sweet little number I will choreograph for Valentine’s Day in which I interprete our 14 years of marriage.
I almost wet my pants with laughter. THANK YOU FOR SHARING! More, more, more… did you love Ali, too?
I never watched The Batch while you were recapping (this is my first season), so of course I’m majorly missing your hilarious recaps now.
My husband, who is adamantly opposed to the show, was in the other room but came in when he heard me laughing at The Dance. I said, “It really makes you appreciate So You Think You Can Dance all the more, doesn’t it?”
My husband jokingly has taken to referring to Vienna as “Vy-eener” because he is from the country and that is how his aunt (“aint”) pronounces it (as in “we are having’ vy-eener sausages for supper”).
I feel oddly mixed about Tenley’s dance. I understand the whole thing about your significant other appreciating what you are passionnate about. It’s just sort of unfortunate that all of America also had to watch, I guess. I sort of wanted to look away but I couldn’t. But I love Tenley.
Maybe it should be mentioned that right before Ally told Chris she needed to talk to him before the rose ceremony she mouthed the word “now”…and then asked Chris to talk.
Hysterical. I love your recaps.
Vienna…NOT A FAN OF HER. I will die if Jake chooses her.
LAUGHING.OUT.LOUD!!!
And what about Vienna’s dad walking in on them? Was that creepy or what? Their relationship is not normal. He is a little too much for me–must be where she gets it.
I love Tenley. She is so sweet and her family if precious. But he will choose Vienna, because the “right” person never gets picked… ;)
Love you southern wit – and I don’t watch the Bachelor – sounds like I’m not missing too much, but a friend who blogs does – LC – the #1smartalec of the world. I love her young,single look on things! Enjoy – Bonnie Novak
http://www.lcblogs.com/
The Bachelor? Really? I tried watching it way back when, and it made me so uncomfortable and “cringy” that I just couldn’t watch it anymore. Maybe it has changed from where it started??
please, please, please, PLEASE do bachelor recaps again.
please?