So I really have tried to start a post about fourteen times in the last five days, and every single time I wind up staring blankly at the computer. Thursday night I almost just posted some pictures with the caption “So this happened,” but then I felt guilty for subjecting y’all to such staggering new levels of boredom. It’s bad enough that you had to read my detailed account of cooking for a crowd last week.
Quite frankly I have exposed you to more mediocrity than anyone possibly deserves. I have no idea why you put up with me.
Anyway, last week took a little turn towards DECIDEDLY NOT THE NORM when I hopped on a plane Wednesday afternoon and met Melanie and Ree in New York City. Honestly, I was as surprised as anybody that it worked out for me to go; at first I thought that there was no way in the world I could make it because of family and work and stuff that was already on the calendar. But to my utter delight, the dates for the trip landed on a perfect little window of travel opportunity. WHAT ARE THE ODDS, I ASK YOU?
I landed in New York around 6:30 Wednesday night, and I decided on the ride to the hotel that I will never, ever overcome my fear that Death Is Imminent when I’m in the back seat of some sort of big city cab. And while I can’t say for sure that my cab driver was annoyed by constant OH MERCYs and sharp intakes of breath, I’m guessing that he wanted me to pipe down and let the professional handle the no-look lane changes and the barreling through tunnels at white knuckle speeds. As well it should be, I reckon.
Once I got to the hotel and met up with the girls, we walked around the corner to a great Italian restaurant. Melanie and I told Ree that we would consider it a sweet privilege to hunt down the worst Mexican food in the city (remember: we have a gift), but tasty Italian food prevailed. We sat next to a family that I christened (in my head, at least) the Shouty McLoudersons, and THEY MADE ME SO HAPPY. One of the kids kept saying, “CAN WE GET SOME APPS, DAD? CAN WE GET SOME APPS?,” and I really wanted to ask if he was angling for some fried calamari or if he just wanted to download a new game on his father’s iPhone. You never know these days.
Thursday morning, while Ree was tending to some bloggy bidness back at the hotel, Melanie and I walked to a nearby salon for some (much-needed, in my case) pedicures. I told Mel and Ree beforehand that I was a little hesitant about the whole thing because I was afeared that my post-winter feet would frighten and perhaps even emotionally scar the salon personnel. But it turned out to be a great – albeit competely and totally atypical – way to spend a Thursday morning, especially since Mel was there to listen to me analyze the pros and cons of different nail polish colors. After all, indecisive overthinking is one of my most favorite hobbies.
Once our toes were all purty, we walked back to the hotel and changed clothes so that we could go to The View with Ree. Even typing that is sort of strange, seeing as how I’ve never visited the set of a talk show, well, EVER, but oh my word it was a kick and a half to get to see just a tiny bit of the behind-the-scenes stuff. In fact, while Ree was getting her make-up done, Elizabeth Hasselbeck stopped to say hi to the guest who was in the dressing room next door, and Mel VERY STEALTHILY crept to the doorway so that she could oh-so-casually get an up-close glimpse of our very tiny blonde pretend-friend.
Mel tried to look like she was checking her text messages while she stood a few feet away from our stranger-BFF, and I may or may not have whispered “THIS IS A DEFINING MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE” through clenched teeth to punch up the melodrama of the moment. Fortunately we did not succumb to the internal pressure to take MANY, MANY PICTURES, because a few minutes later one of the staff members walked in the dressing room and said, “You’re not taking a picture, are you? Because that’s not allowed back here.” And then we laughed nervously because WHO, WHO WOULD EVER DO SUCH A THING, CERTAINLY NOT US, MY WORD!
Finally it was time to go down (up? down? I’ve lost all directional memory) to the studio, and once we got up (down?) there, we went to the kitchen where all they were keeping all the food warm for Ree’s segment (see how I’m acting like I know TV lingo? by using words like “studio” and “segment”? please feel free to roll your eyes frequently). At that point the View folks gave us permission to take pictures, and as usual, I seized the photographic moment in the lamest way possible.
I totally took a picture of the pantry. Specifically, I TOOK A PICTURE OF MEASURING CUPS.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Let me know if you’d like for me to photograph your wedding or some other special event. I’ll be certain to take pictures of coats and also purses.
Melanie and I got to sit backstage while Ree did her segment (THERE I GO AGAIN WITH THE LINGO), and we were so stinkin’ proud of her. She did such a great job, and everybody raved about the food (AS WELL THEY SHOULD). And in addition to the fun of seeing a sweet friend make her View debut, I also had a bit of a moment when I realized that All My Children used to film in that very building. It was the soap opera of choice during my teenage years, and I couldn’t help but think of all my buddies in Pine Valley when we were walking through the halls.
I’ll never forget you, Myrtle Fargate.
Once we were back at the hotel we grabbed a quick snack, then rested for a few minutes to gear up for Sushi Night. We had reservations for 5:45 because 1) we are a bunch of mamaws and 2) we wanted to get back to the hotel in time to watch Real Housewives of New York City (PRIORITIES, PEOPLE). A few of Ree’s friends met us for dinner, and listen: it was one of my favorite meals of my life. The food and the company were divine, not to mention that I actually took two whole pictures.
Sushi platter before:
Sushi platter after:
I think you’ll agree that our collective sushi-eating ability was nothing short of frighteningly impressive.
Ree left earrrrrrrrrly Friday morning, so Mel and I slept in and then did a little sightseeing. We enjoyed a special cupcake blessing and made a quick loop through a couple of stores (I may have seen a single tear roll delicately down Melanie’s cheek when she saw the wonder of the three-story H&M) before we shared a cab to the airport and said our goodbyes at terminal C.
Long story long: the trip was such a blast. As y’all know, it’s great to be able to talk and text and email with friends, but being able to hang out live and in person – well, that’s just a whole different level-o-fun.
And in case you’re wondering, we didn’t run into any of the real housewives while we were there. But if we had, I would have totally taken a picture of their knees. Or maybe even their elbows.
You’re welcome and the end.
Sounds like an amazingly fun trip!!
I had a friend who was a contract player on All My Children for 5 months or so a couple of years ago (Google Zarf/Zoe & All My Children), and they did one episode that was Zarf/Zoe on Erica Kane’s talk show, and they invited real people in for the studio audience. My friend invited me, and Erica’s talk show was actually the studio used to film The View.
So, at least as of a couple short years ago, AMC was filmed in the same building as The View. As far as I knew, it still was… but very recently Wildwind and the Chandler Mansion sets were drastically changed, so it’s entirely possible that they moved filming elsewhere and took that opportunity to “spruce up” those two sets.
Is it obvious that I still watch All My Children? :x Incidentally, I don’t know if you heard… Eileen Herlie (Myrtle) passed away about a year and a half ago. And James Mitchell (Palmer Cortlandt) passed away just this January. So sad for Pine Valley.
I have loved your recent posts – they’re not boring at all. I love the way you ‘speak’ even if all you’re speaking about is what you’ve been watching on TV.
And this one – oh how cool! How totally cool.
Have you ever considered leading a blog-friend tour? I’m sure it would sell out in about 4 seconds. Especially if those cupcakes were on the agenda.
I just love you and we’ve never even met. You make me laugh until my stomach hurts. :)
So funny! Would you mind taking a snapshot of B’s wart on her right ring finger next time she’s over. I’d love to frame it.
I feel like we spent that week shadowing each other’s lives. I saw Elisabeth Hasselbeck in church on Easter Sunday (and I had to ‘Ssshh’ my MIL after she jumped and said a little too loudly “Do you know who that is?!”) I went to H&M, and then ate more cupcakes than humanly possible because of all the visitors (I’m totally blaming the visitors…I may have steered them in that direction but it’s all their fault). And I will admit that I was on the lookout for the 3 of you while I was running my errands last Thursday! Glad you had fun!!!
I saw The View and she was great!!! I never dreamed you were sitting backstage ~ WOW! So glad you all had a fun trip!
SHUT UP!!!! I know a certain girl (ahem, Robyn) that would love to travel with me and you and Mel to see Ree on the ranch and all…come on now…show us the love. I just KNEW I was gonna win the sushi trip out there. *oh I kid, but not really*
However, I’m beyond thrilled for you and the line for Myrtle Fargate made me oh so happy.
So thankful for the real live relationships that started on this crazy internet world.
Who woulda thunk.
I wrote on someones blog (Big Mama’s I think) about how I thought I would die in a NYC cab on my anniversary one year. You always think of NY traffic as creeping along at a snail’s pace but somehow the cab driver finds a way to go mach speed thru the city. Besides the speed that night ours managed to stop in the middle of the road and hop out to get into an argument and/or drug buy from someone on the sidewalk. And he left the meter running which made my husband shout. And I just prayed I wouldn’t die right there on my anniversary.
We’re living outside the city once again and I’m loving it…it’s crazy but so much fun. Glad you had a great trip!
You are a total Rock Star, BooMama! Not a mamaw, not even close.
LOL……. oh my gosh I needed those giggles. Just had to tell you that.
Thanks bunches. :)
hilarious!!
glad you had a great trip..and um love that photo from the view?:)
No mediocrity here – I love your posts and laughed out loud!
What a great trip. Post some pictures of y’all okay?
You are funny, oh yes you are. What a great time ya’ll had! I watched Ree’s segment and those ladies talk so much I don’t know how she was able to say anything! She did a great job! I might have had to stuff a potato skin in everyone’s mouth so that I could finally answer the question they asked three minutes ago.
Shouty McLoudersons? The Apps? So. Very. Funny.
Y’all ladies are super great at keeping secrets now. Wow. Sounds like fun.
As I told Melanie…and now I’m telling you…I’m coming from a place of jealousy about the whole thing!
But it looks like y’all had loads of fun!!
:-)
Megan
http://reddirtandcrazy.blogspot.com/
I LOVE your brand of mediocrity sister!!!!! You are awesome!
I TOTALLY have to know what flavor cupcake(s) you had!?!?!? I use plural, because I would have totally had plural cupcake(s) myself…
OH MY WORD, the measuring cups just sent me over the edge. I read this out loud through giggles to my husband, poor man.
I’m so glad you had a wonderful time!
You’re never boring! I love coming here to read your take on life, and appreciate your being here!
i can totally see ya’ll hanging out with the real housewives of new york. i mean you, melanie and ree, together in new york at the same time! there should have been a guest appearance on the show or something.
And THERE you have it! Exactly WHY I keep ‘a coming back for more–you funny, Boo Mama, you real funny. :-)
One of my favorite parts was the “indecisive overthinking is one of my hobbies.” Maybe it’s my favorite because I FEEL THE SAME WAY.
Also loved the picture of the measuring cups!
I’m happy you had such an amazing time! I’m happy any time ANY MAMA gets to have a girlfriend getaway!! It’s just good for the soul.
Hilarious. It sounds like a great time. I’m so glad y’all got to the Big Apple! And as many times as I’ve been and as many cabs as I have taken, I have never gotten used to it. I still ride, white knuckled in the backseat, praying that God grants me one more day on this earth. But it’s all part of the charm, I s’pose. :-)
I seriously love reading your posts – you have a way with words. I think I hear your voice narrating each time I read, well probably just my voice since I haven’t heard yours – but whatevah!
First, thank you for the post.. I needed the ”laugh out loud” this morning..
Second.. please.. tell me what you think about the RHNY feud between Bethanny and Jill??? Sounds like a stupid question, but you don’t blog abt that show anymore (I do love your Office updates!) and I wonder… I loved Jill last year, but think she truly acts like one of the ‘mean girls’ from high school this year. Just wondering if you’re feeling the same way??
Love to read your blog.. You and Big Mama are the perfect way to start the day (and you are not even a little bit boring).
My favorite part was how you described Melanie’s doorway texting tactic and your “This is a defining moment in your life.” So hilarious. I could just picture y’all!
I was SOOOO hoping you’d say you’d went to Crumbs! It’s become my favorite (yes I’m a pastry chef) spot on the planet. I will never bake another cupcake again as I realize I will never, ever attain the sweet goodness that is Crumbs! I’m so glad you got your New York Moment!
I don’t think you will ever comprehend the depth of my gargantuan crush on you :). I quietly read you from a distance most of the time, but sometimes I’ve gotta pop in and gush.
Like now.
Unrequited love…she is a torturous beast!
:)
xo
Thank you for making me laugh out loud this morning! You are not boring…you are a real person who CRACKS. ME. UP!
How cute are you?! I love your storytelling. It’s not everyday you take a trip to NYC with the Pioneer Woman. Lucky! I want your life!
What a hoot! You could make a trip to Walmart sound interesting!!! :)
Great hilarious post with no hint of mediocrity. What a fun trip!
Let me one up you on New York cab rides. We had a driver that became- angry/ enraged/ insane- at another driver. He then proceeded to lean his entire torso out the window so that he he could- yell/ cuss/ scream- at the driver. The car was coasting at break neck speed, while he continued to steer and turn onto 5th avenue.
You are so hilarious! We keep coming back cause you write about the little things in life with trip to NY thrown in for good measure. I laughed out loud over the picture of the measuring cups.
Would you believe this is one of the first times I’ve stopped by? I’m definitely out of the loop. Your post was great. I don’t often stick around for long rambling posts. I’m a picture book gal, but you caught me hook line and sinker. You must be so proud, ha ha. Thanks for a fun post. I recognized references to PW but do not know Mel. I’m sure it will all become clear eventually.
Dana
When I grow up, I want to be you.
Read your article in Home Life today. I didn’t realize it was you until I got to the part about the marriage retreat in NC. I thought, “This sounds familiar!” haha Great job!
“Put up” with you? Any girl that says “I reckon” and “Oh mercy” is my kinda folk :)
If I invite you to a party, will you come? I do live near the beaches of North West Florida. You have to be the life of any party.
Totally worth the wait! Love this story and love that you shared it… made me feel like I was backstage with you! : )
I just knew you were going to name Magnolia Bakery as your cupcake stop! A year away from NYC & you are totally devoid of all measure of hipness, I guess!!
Oh, I love, love, loooooooved this post!! When we went to NYC in August for the Early Show, I felt soooooo out of my element. But had a blast regardless.
If I weren’t already married, I’d hire you in a New York minute to take photos of my guest’s coats and purses.
That’s so great! I’m so glad you were able to go.
I DVRed The View (my DVR player questioned my choice and said that it didn’t fit into my normal parameters of viewing, but I explained and it seemed to be happy), and
a) was greatly amused in the intro that when they were talking about Ree having a cattle ranch, they overdubbed a very fake “Moooo”, right as they also put Whoopi’s picture up. It was awesome. Also,
b) I was totally distracted by trying to figure out who exactly cooked it all. Was it Ree? Was it Elizabeth? Was it a group of slaving View minions? When I started reading this, I got hopeful that you would answer my question – that it was you and Mel! But no such luck. Was it the Mooing Whoopi? The world will never know.
At any rate, I’m glad y’all had fun. I got to go on a bloggy trip to NYC last September, and have been itching to go back ever since. (sigh)