This is a sponsored post from BlogHer and Smuckers.
I’m not sure where I first got the idea of putting notes in our little man’s lunchbox. I know that it wasn’t any sort of original concept, so my best guess is that I probably saw Claire Huxtable put a note in one of her kids’ lunchboxes on The Cosby Show when I was younger. Of course I wasn’t consciously trying to pick up parenting tips from a TV show when I was, you know, thirteen, but I’ve never been one to underestimate the lasting influence of a family sitcom.
I mean, do you know how many times I’ve thought about Jan Brady running into the family portrait on her bicycle when I’m trying to teach our son about being responsible?
YOU ONLY HAD TO WEAR THE GLASSES, JAN.
YOU ONLY HAD TO WEAR THE GLASSES.
Regardless of where the idea originated, I first started putting notes in Alex’s lunches when he was in Mothers’ Day Out. At the time he couldn’t really read, of course, so I’d just draw a big heart and then sign “Mama” at the bottom. When he started four year-old kindergarten and was recognizing a few words, I moved up to “Alex – I love you, Mama” – and the notes have gotten more elaborate over the last couple of years. He always thanks me for the notes when I pick him up from school, and lots of times I’ll find the notes when I unpack his lunchbox – with little jelly or Cheetos fingerprints all along the edges.
Last year Alex ate in the school cafeteria a good bit (I have NO IDEA why, but he really gets a kick out of going through the lunch line), so I didn’t pack lunches nearly as often. But at the end of the school year, his class had a field day, and since the cafeteria was going to be closed that day, the teachers asked us to send a lunch to school.
It just so happened that the week of field day was a hard one for us because our dog Maggie died. She hadn’t been well for awhile, and I don’t think any of us were prepared for how difficult it was when she finally passed away. Alex took her death particularly hard – it was the first time he’s ever had to say good-bye to something he loved – and the week was filled with hard questions and hard answers. We talked a lot about the fact that there’s purpose in every single thing that happens in our lives, and we talked about how grateful we were that we got to share life with Maggie.
But oh, how he cried. And oh, how he missed her.
When I was packing his lunch the Friday morning of field day, I decided to stick a note inside. I tried to make it upbeat and comforting because I knew how much his little heart was still hurting. And sure enough, when I picked him up from school that afternoon, he said, “Thanks, Mama, for the note you sent me. It made me smile.”
A few days ago I asked Alex why he likes it so much when I send him little notes, and he said, “Because when I’m thinking about you at school, the note reminds me that you’re thinking about me, too.” It’s such a small thing to do – it literally takes less than a minute – but I really do believe that that kind of intentional, loving communication with our kids reaps huge benefits. If you’ve ever written a note to your child(ren), you know that you can see the joy all over their face when they read it.
After the little guy and I talked for a few minutes about lunchbox notes, I had a hunch. Since field day was the last lunch I packed this past school year – and since he told me at the end of that day that he threw away all of his trash at school – I wondered if maybe he held onto the note when lunch was over. So I went in the pantry, pulled the lunchbox off the shelf, and sure enough, I found what I suspected that I would.
He kept it.
Bless his heart.
To celebrate the ways that moms connect with their kids over lunch – whether it’s by putting a note in a lunchbox or making special plans to sit in the backyard and eat sandwiches together – Smuckers has created a really neat program called Kidvitations. It’s a way for parents to intentionally make mealtimes special – and I think it’s awesome. I also think that you and your kids are going to love it.
If you’d like to enter to win a $200 Visa gift card, leave a comment and tell me one of your favorite ways to connect with the children in your life.
There are also BlogHer.com Smuckers roundup page.
And if you enjoy a little light reading, you’re sure to be delighted by the BlogHer.com Smuckers official rules.
This giveaway will run through August 23rd, at which point I’ll use random.org to select a winner.
Can’t wait to read your comments!
Create a Kidvitation!
Home can be a busy place with the hustle and bustle of everyday life. That’s why it’s important to set time aside to spend with your kids. Use Smuckers® Kidvitations to invite your kids to share a moment with you over a perfect PB&J. Check it out.
This giveaway is now closed.
I think the best time is in the car taking long or short trips. The kids always seem to open up and share their day and it seems to be good bonding time of making up games like naming specific kinds of animals and listing them through the alphabet or types of cars that start with a specific letter. It’s always great bonding time!
Playing Uno or watching Dirty Jobs together. And of course, reading. Lots of reading.
I connect with my boys by sitting down and doing family night at the house. They get to pick the movie!!!
I just walk up and give mine big hugs!
I have to say dying Easter eggs has got to be one of the best kid activities ever!
We always have dinner together
I love to send books to my niece that I read as a child and then discuss them with her.
You know, this sounds really silly, but every now and then I like to take a child … alone … to the grocery store. It has been amazing the things I have learned about what my kids like/dislike, etc. there. I have 4 kids so it’s hard to get one on one time …. and if I take 2 at a time it’s … well, chaos. But one on one they point our things they like (which often I NEVER would have known) … we buy some of their favorites, I let them weigh the produce or push the cart and we just enjoy being together. :)
read to them
Playing board games is quality time.
Today is my due date and I can’t wait to come up with ways to connect with my little A.
i write notes to my kids the night before their birthday and leave it on their beds to find in the morning.
One way we connect is to celebrate the kids saints name as well as their birthday. They get a special dessert on their saint’s name day.
Playing trains with my nephew … it’s his favorite thing to do.
I love to do things with them that they are interested in. It makes me happy to see them excited about someone who will share time doing what they want to do.
I love to take walks and have long talks with my 12 year old son. You would be amazed at what he brings up! Sometimes it’s light hearted… but sometimes…it’s amazing how deep his emotions and thought patterns run!
We love reading and baking together.
We love to snuggle in our family. If someone walks by and sees my laying down or on the couch, inevitably someone begins the snuggle fest and we all join in!
I like to sing to them and with them. No matter what kind of day we may have had, we end the day with singing. And it helps us…when we need it to.
I find one of the best ways to connect with my boys is in the car… somehow when we’re riding together is the time when they like to ask the tough questions and get into things they wouldn’t seem to otherwise ask in a direct conversations.. I’ve learned to really cherish that time together.
We do a girls day out a couple times a month. Movies, shopping or dinner.
My favorite time of day with my almost 2 year old is right before bedtime. We snuggle in a rocking chair and say prayers together. At first, she just listened, but a few months ago, she started saying “Amen” at the end. Then recently, she chimes in with people to bless at the end. I love every minute of sleepy prayers at the end of a busy day!
Time. I try to give them time to listen. Hard to do sometimes……..
We do notes in the lunchbox too. At home, it’s hard for me to do, but sometimes I need to just step away from the computer and do what they want, even if it’s just cheering them on playing Wii.
I work with middle school kids, and since I’m at an age when they don’t think I’m TOO stupid yet, I try to be relevant and upbeat — I keep them engaged and let them know that there is an adult in their life they can talk to.
Definitely by reading together.
I have a first grader and a 3 year old. When I wake them up in the mornings to get ready for school, we sit on the couch while I read from the Jesus Storybook Bible and pray before we get started on breakfast.I love those 5-7 minutes every morning!
My kids are grown, but I still touch base with them either by phone or email or facebook daily. The grandkids are over here all the time and love to look at story books I have made for each of them of our vacations together…priceless
The best way to connect with my son is to build something with him, and with my daughter it is to read or tickle.
My oldest is in first grade and I leave notes in her lunches too – because my mom did the same for me. The difference is that I write it straight onto the napkin. After reading your post, I’m reconsidering that move – either she’s going to wipe her messy mouth on my sentimental thoughts or NOT wipe her mouth so she can keep them like your sweet son did. Hmmm. Big, big changes are ahead for the 2010-2011 school year, daughter. Brace yourself.
We’ve found GREAT value in one-on-one dates with our kids. Even if it’s just running a quick, mundane errand with one (of our soon-to-be-four) kids, they treasure that alone time with one of us.
Cuddling on the couch! :)
We have 3 daughters ages 6, 4 and 4 so it’s hard to get a lot of one on one time around here. One thing my husband and I do is take just one of the girls on an errand or for a special treat just to look eye to eye and talk with them. The girls love it and so do I!
Reading together and also dinner time. We have family dinner every night that we are home!
my favorite time to connect is at bedtime when the kids are being tucked into bed and saying their prayers. this “one on one time” allows them to open up about their day without being interrupted.
How do I connect with my child over lunch? I’ll tell you what I think is the very biggest thing I could do at breakfast OR lunch–share my PB&J. I kid you not!
Since I was a child (many decades ago), PB&J has been one of my absolute favorites. I often hear the story of me whining to my mom, “peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and jelly, all I ever eat is peanut butter and jelly!”
My exasperated mother then asked what else I wanted and my reply, “I guess I’ll have a peanut butter and jelly.”
Mom took me to the doctor because she was very concerned about my eating habits. She told him I ate PB&J and Fruit Loops and that was pretty much my two food groups. He told her I was fine and to let me have my PB&Js and Fruit Loops.
My refrigerator is currently stocked with all manner of Smucker’s jellies although most of them are sugar-free. I am hypoglycemic and gravitate toward sugar-free and low-glycemic foods. I love Smuckers sugar-free blackberry, red raspberry and blueberry. They even have a sugar-free orange marmalade. HEAVEN! While I still stock Jiff for my kids because there is no other–I, myself, keep Smuckers all natural creamy Peanut Butter in my refrigerator.
I had been content for many years since sometime around the year 2000 to have my Smuckers Peanut Butter all to myself. My two oldest daughters (now 20 and 17) wanted no part of it. YEHHHH, me!
But now I have a four-year-old daughter who shares her mother’s love of the Smucker’s all natural creamy Peanut Butter.
So, in answer to your question (at last!), you better believe it’s pure love that compels me to share a Smucker’s PB&J on wheat toast with my little Sophie for lunch OR breakfast! Sometimes both!
I can’t make this stuff up! Ask anyone who knows me it’s right up there with seafood in my book.
And for little Sophie, I’m sure sharing Mom’s sandwich is much better than having one of her own.
I drive my kids to school & back every day and really use our time in the car to connect with them. When we go out to eat we take turns for who gets to pick the restaurant each time and they love it when its their turn (no fast food though no matter whose turn it is!). And we take their suggestions on picking where we spend our vacation. It makes them feel included and valued.
My favorite way to connect with my son is to look at funny UTube videos together.
My kids help with not only the dishes but also in making dinner. While they are learning a life skill we are also able to have an opportunity to talk about our day or whatever else is on our minds.
We connect in our family over family dinners. We had our annual seafood night, started by our mother, and it was a blast.
Never underestimate the bonding time of Sonic Happy Hour! :)
We always love dinner time with everyone sitting around the table tell of their day.
I also love being in the car with, each of my children, one at a time talking to them individually.
Two of my three are grown :-( but car rides have always been a great connecting time. My hubby uses the time after I go to bed (I’m the only early bird) to have those special chats…
Does every kid go through a phase with knock knock jokes? Mine do. I bought a cheap 101 kids joke book and use that as a lunch box note from mom.
we love playing board games. candy ladn is a fave of the littles and my oldest likes clue.
I feel fortunate that I am able to home school my children, so we have lots of time together. But, I think lunchtime is one of my favorite times to chit chat with them about what is on their minds and what we have planned during the week.
I dedicate at least one day per month to a daughter mom day, and one to a mom son day. This way they each get one day all about them with mommy!
I love breastfeeding my youngest as it means I actually get to connect with her. With my older 3 kids I have to be more intentional. With the 4 and 5 year old I sit down with them one on one and we read. The 2 year old is not challenge at all, he just loves to snuggle :0)
chuckie Cheese!!!!
Baking cookies, so much fun
I bond with my cousins by taking them to the mall or taking them to the park. They’re cute but exhausting sometimes
We love to cook together! We don’t worry about mess and we experiment like crazy!
I tape pictures of our family to the inside lid of his lunchbox. Sometimes, if he has had a hard day, or got picked on, just opening up his lunch box and seeing what picture I taped inside makes him smile. Like his own little cheering section just inside his lunchbox shouting, we’re here and we love you. And we do, very much..
My ways of connecting with my children have evolved as they have aged, but one remains the same: undivided attention at bedtime. My daughter is 10 and my son is 5, but each one of them loves having my full attention as we go over things from their day, giggle about silly things and just be together.
I like to take them to the pool for the day. It’s amazing all the games they can come up with that only require the shallow end, and they’re always tired at the end of the day!
My boys are practically grown! They are 16 and 12, so I try to communicate with them in the way they like best — texting. But some of our best talks are when we are in the car one-on-one. Both boys open up more when their brother is not around. I treasure these times.
I have two teenagers- which means their social lives tend to be more important to them than mom. But, I get up early every morning before work and make them breakfast and “force” them to sit with me while they eat it. I learn more about them in those moments than any other part of the day. That’s worth every minute lost to sleep.
I teach so my son comes to school with me in the morning. I fix his breakfast and we talk while I get ready for my teaching day. He then heads off to his classroom.
My favorite time with my (grown)girls is late at night talking until the wee hours.
My 3 1/2 year old and I have the best connection time on the swings. I push and he talks. It is so sweet.
My favorite way to connect with my daughter is to support her in her drug addition recovery. I go with her to meetings & it’s really bonded us a lot closer! gmissycat@yahoo.com
I love to sit in a big chair with all of my little ones to read a book and snuggle. And I love to hold and snuggle with them when they first get up. The feeling of a sweet little head resting on you shoulder and a warm cheek against yours is the best thing ever!
I call my nieces on the phone :)
I like cooking with my 6-year-old. Even if it’s just instant pudding. She tells me that she’s “a good cooker!”
love sitting around the dinner table and asking them how their day was….even if we are eating sonic burgers and tots :)
i connect with my kids by talking to them about their days
Lately I have begun singing silly songs for my 7 and 4 year old girls and I call it “silly songs with Mommy”…clever I know. I make up songs about everyone in the family and the funny thing is that they ask for them again and again. I have older children also, but don’t remember doing this with them. We also have the bedtime prayers and ticklefest that ends a day strong.
we include those little ones to “show us” how to complete a task and praise them for sharing their “know-how”. From gardening/planting to picking and cleaning; setting the table to helping fold laundry – our list is endless. Keep them as an important part of everyday rather than too young to handle anything!
by spending time at dinner going over what happened in our days while we were apart
autumn398 @ yahoo.com
The best thing I’ve done to engage with my children is to basically read to them any night I can before they go to bed :D Usually we read from Just So Stories :D
I take my nephews and niece to the zoo. They love it.
I loved this blog! I have a little Alex too whose 5. For the past 2 years while he was in preschool I sent him little notes in his lunch. It really does mean a lot to him!
my daughters are now 30 and 26 (and happily married). I connect with them by sending them “i love you” text messages at odd times throughout their workweek! I also write about them and post photos of them on my personal blog that nobody has access to but our family. It is our way of keeping up with the latest news. They will never outgrow being my girls. =D
Their dad and I delight in spoiling them. They love it, and we do too!
I connect with my kids by trying to spend individual time with each of them, and by sitting down and playing, which always leads to talking. I like to ask them questions, and gauge what they are thinking or feeling at that time. it also helps me to improve as a Mom, to know how they feel about me.
My daughter likes to tell me what to write on a napkin and put in her lunch. She was in T-K last year and really couldn’t read.
We connect thru lunchbox notes and reading books. I like to sneak a note in her lunchbox every now and then…to make it something special she anticipates from time to time. Our favorite ritual for connecting is reading. I love to read adult books, and she loves to read her books. We lay side by side in the bed reading our books…and sometimes share what we’re reading. It’s great snuggle time and vocabulary builder..to boot!
We have been having a blast playing the Wii during this ridiculous heat wave! They really enjoy playing the Wii games as a family:)
I love to read with kids. I think it’s great that my niece and my daughter fight for lap space as we read books together.
Car rides are a great way for me to connect with my kids. With that in mind, I usually turn off the music (or have it very low), turn off the cell phone, turn off the DVD player (which we only use for long road trips anyway) and just LISTEN. I’m always amazed at what is revealed in the course of a short ride to the store in an enclosed space with a captive audience. I usually don’t even have to ask many questions – the kids know that I’m there and my ears are focused on them!
I also like to play a game with my daughter when I pick her up from school. She has to tell me three things about her day…Two things are true and one is something she made up. I have to then guess which is the fabricated event. She loves this game and she loves “tricking” me.
My favorite way to connect is to teach the games I played when I was a kid.
I love cuddling up on the couch with my kids and just letting them talk. It’s a great feeling.
I love my time spent reading to my 2 year old. I love to act silly to make him laugh.
We like to get ice pops and sit outside eating them and talking to each other.
I love to go with my nephew on fun activities like picking blueberries or to the museum.
That note is so cute! I like to connect with the kids by reading to them, by creating fun projects with them, and by taking photos together and capturing smiles and laughter on film.
My 3 children are all our of college and working. Phone calls and texts keep us well connected. Especially when they are having a hard day, I love to send them a text that tells them I love them, believe in them, and am praying for them. It’s a modern day note in their lunch kit!
My daughter and I have breakfast together every morning and we always chat then. We also do a mama-daughter afternoon once each week where she chooses somewhere to go!
BTW…she loves notes in her lunch too!
bleatham*at*gmail.com
With just one little guy at home, it seems that our life is centered around him. But I love the time that we share taking naps together in the afternoon. Nothing like the feeling of a snuggly little body to melt your heart.
i like to sit down at the table and feed people. Food brings people together :)
we definitely connect over meal time but we also like to pop popcorn and watch a movie together on sunday nights. the kids always know what to expect (pancakes for supper first) and we get to relax and just enjoy our kids for a change…
We connect over craft night. We spend a few hours, drawing, painting or sculpting while we chat.
I like to connect by sitting right next to them and sharing a coloring book. We both color one of the pages and talk and laugh and make up stories about the characters or scene on the coloring book page. Asking each other to pass a crayon can end up in a game where we can’t ask the same way twice, but it always has to be polite.
At dinner every night we always ask each other “what was your favorite part of the day?” It’s fun to hear what things made an impression on them and gives me a chance to tell them something I enjoyed about them too.
I put notes in my daughter’s lunch too. But to reconnect with my older son we lay on the bed and watch a show together.
I connect with my older kids by texting them that I’m thinking of them and I love them. You can never say that enough!
One of my favorite ways to connect with my children is play with them. With my older son, we play games together and with my youngest we pretend play together.
One of the ways I connect with my son in through his bedtime routine. A few minutes of quite time where we cuddle and tell each other how much we love each other.
Reading to a child, not just at bed-time is a great way to connect, and get a jump start on a child’s good reading habit.
just want to win
I think it’s fun to reminisce about the silly things they or I have done.
I love to give my nieces and nephews books that I loved as a child. Such as Goodnight Moon, Dr Seuss books, Curious George, Bernstein Bears. I plan on continuing to buy them books as they grow older to hopefully instill a love of reading.