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Now I certainly don’t mean to brag, but I’m sort of the queen of setting some seriously unrealistic fitness goals.
You know, like losing 30 pounds over the course of a single weekend. Or vowing with my whole heart that, come Monday morning, I’m going to wake up and run five miles before breakfast.
Neveryoumind that I don’t actually run.
And because I have a personality that is completely and totally fascinated by whatever shiny object happens to be sitting in front of me at the time, it’s hard for me to stay motivated with a fitness routine. It’s hard to put on walking clothes when I’m just so delighted by combing through an old high school friend’s pictures on Facebook. Or when I’m smack-dab in the middle of a reality show marathon. Or when my little boy tells me that he would really like to snuggle on the couch with me for a little bit because “I just love you so much, Mama, that I never want to let go of you.”
I mean, come on. You’d totally stay on the couch with your child, too.
But the fact of the matter is that if I want to see that little guy grow up – which OF COURSE I do – and if I want to be a person who feels good and energetic and about 15 years younger than my actual age, I have to take care of myself. That doesn’t mean that I have to look like Heidi Klum or have Jillian Michaels’ rock-solid abs. It just means that I need to be intentional about doing the things that I KNOW make me feel better.
And oddly enough, even though the power of rationalization might convince me otherwise in a moment of weakness, eating ten chocolate kisses in one sitting REALLY DOESN’T contribute to my overall energy level. Neither does, well, SITTING.
Over the years I’ve come up with all sorts of misguided ways to keep myself motivated when it comes to exercise. There was the if-I-walk-two-miles-I’ll-reward-myself-with-fried-chicken-for-supper method, the if-I-walk-for-10-days-in-a-row-I-bet-I-can-lose-two-dress-sizes method, the my-class-reunion-is-coming-up-and-I’d-prefer-to-feel-moderately-confident method. And honestly, I’ve had a little short-term success with all of those strategies.
But as someone who has always struggled with weight and body image and all of those fun things, I’ve realized – especially over the last few years – that there are two sentences that are the very best motivation of all:
I want to feel strong.
I want to feel healthy.
And I’m certainly not saying that those two sentences have inspired me to train for a half-marathon. Oh no ma’am. I have a long way to go in terms of reaching my fitness goals. But those sentences do inspire me to get in the swimming pool with my child and play just as hard as he does. They inspire me to get outside on a beautiful day and just move.
They remind me that I don’t have to do crazy things in some misguided quest for unrealistic results.
That’s sort of freeing, you know?
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I love to bike & take brisk walks during the day at work. I am sure I have done some funny things while exercising but none come to my mind right now.
I have been that person who got distracted by a barking dog while on a treadmill and fell. Resultig in my FEET going through the weight room WALL. Classy move lol.
So I decided to get in shape and joined the gym. I began attending some early morning classes before work and was doing pretty good. One morning I wake up to go to the gym and it is pitch black dark outside. I start to walk down our steps (we lived on the 2nd floor) and proceed to slide all the way down them on my butt. Apparently there had been some rain overnight and the stairs were completely covered in solid ice. As I crawled back up the stairs, I realized this was the end of my morning workouts!
I’ve learned the best place to be in a workout class is the middle, because if you’re in the back, there’s always a chance the instructor will have everyone turn around and suddenly you’re in the very front! Yay!
My 4-yr-old boy was rubbing my arm during supper and asked my why God made me so soft. Thinking he was referring to the well-moisturized skin, I smiled and responded: “That’s how God made Mom’s skin.” To which he replied: “No, I mean soft as in gushy. It’s like it’s all empty in there under your skin. Not hard like Dad’s arms.”
Enough said.
I think ‘exercise’ is a dirty word. I avoid it like the flu.
But… I did join a fitness club to take a salsa exercise class because the instructor was a ‘caliente’ latin dance instructor and all the ‘real housewives’ of my subdivision all joined. I stuck with it for over 8 months. That’s some sort of record for me. A little motivation can go a long way.
Yoga.
Enough said.
More often than I care to recount, I’ve gotten myself stuck in positions and had to have help to get out of them.
Yoga is just funny!
It was my first time at my new gym and I was looking superfly running on the treadmill with my Ipod. That is until I dropped my Ipod, which fell down onto the treadmill belt and was rocketed off the back and into the gym wall. I was so embarassed I just kept running, my headphones dangling sadly in my ears still, pretending not to notice the looks from my neighbors.
This isn’t really *funny* per se, but, one time when I was much much younger, I went on a diet. I was always hungry, so I wanted to try anything to make myself feel full. It occurred to me if I ate something that would expand once it hit my stomach, that that would be the answer.
I stared around my kitchen looking for anything that would fit that bill and all I found was… guess… uncooked rice. I poured some into a dixie cup and mouthful by mouthful swallowed dried uncooked rice. YUM! It didn’t make my feel hungry but it DID give me the most horrible stomach cramps ever known to God or man. (I always figured it was because uncooked rice is pointy and sharp)
Needless to say, I don’t advise the “uncooked rice diet”.
I have 3 girls…..all ten years apart….the middle one was adopted and still the 10 year trend progressed. At 40 when the third one was born, I joined Curves and began exercising. I’m more agile that much is certain and going around in an exercise circle with women from 18 to 90 what could be funnier??
My quadruplet boys recently started belting “kumbaya my Lord” to a hotel lobby full of business suits and skirts. I immediately went to shush them, but then everyone in the room started laughing and smiling at them. Guess they turned out to be the entertainment….
I am one of the most uncoordinated people you will ever meet. I will try anything, but the time I tried to keep up with an aerobics video in college was pretty funny. I couldn’t do the arm movements and the leg movements at the same time! I pretty much stayed at the back of the group so everyone else whose moves looked like a well-choreographed dance unit wouldn’t notice my clumsy flailing around!
Me trying to keep up with the fitness instructor during aerobics class. I’m pretty uncoordinated, so it’s quite the show.
I’m lucky I work out by myself in the basement, because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen over.
I detest any type of physical exercise so much…I took bowling in college. Not sure that I even made a decent grade!
I run and do zumba. I have 3 kids 4 and under so I don’t get to do it often but when I do I feel like eating better and taking better care of myself.
My brother had colon surgery and I helped him in his recovery. Because he’s such a great brother, he bought a Wii Plus Board and ever since I have been either doing the strength training or yoga on it. The balance games are fun and so are the training games. It breaks the monotony of a daily routine. Anywho, since then, a couple of months later I’ve decreased an inch in my arms, my legs and my hips. My waist, just a little, but now, I’ve increased some of the exercises for the abs. So, if you’re wondering about purchasing, it’s great!! And, thanks to my bro!!
Nothing was more embarrassing for me when I went to my gym once and had a huge hole in the rear end with bright purple underwear on. Yu, Great day. And I wondered why they were all staring.
A few years ago, I took a gymnastics class with my niece. Four weeks into the class, we had to do a 1 minute performance of all the routines we had learned so far. My niece did her little routine and loved it. When it was my turn, I totally panicked and suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I started my routine and when I went to land a cartwheel, I accidentally passed gas. Yes, I farted… in front of the whole class and it was the most embarrassing moment of my life.
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I started the 30 Day Shred and after Day 1, I couldn’t wear heels for at least a week – thanks to my terribly sore legs. Pain! But I have since started it again and the second time around it is much less painful!
I cannot think of anything…but I do find it a little ironic that I like to reward myself with food for exercise/eating right..a little ironic, don’t ya think??
I was recently getting up at 5am to exercise after my fourth baby was born…my 7 year old waking up early one morning came down to find me exercising. She asked mommy why are you working out, I said I needed to get in better shape, and her reply “yeah, you are getting a little puffy.” Thanks sweetheart nothing like a little motivation out of the mouths of babes.
My funniest diet story is my period of experimentation with diet food. Apparently, most low cal, sugar free foods have an unwelcome side effect. Suffice it to say, without getting graphic, that I took many trips to the restroom.
I have learned that for me, it is better to eat balanced meals with “real” ingredients rather than food laden with sugar or fat substitutes.
pauleyd68 (at) yahoo (dot) com
Chasing kids is the best I do for exercise right now. That really needs to change!
My favorite funny exercise story happened while horseback riding. I was trial-riding in a new saddle, a Stubben which had a deeper, stickier seat than I’d used before. My horse spooked while cantering around the ring, gave a few hops and baby bucks, I ended up tossed forward onto his neck. I pushed myself back up, into the saddle, and my instructor said from behind me, “So… you’re buying the saddle, right?” I think she sensed I would have been toast if I hadn’t been in a stickier saddle. ;)
I thought I could do a spin class for the first time 3 months after giving birth to my daughter. This was after spending most of my pregnancy on bedrest. I could not walk up and down the stairs the next day (unfortunate, since we lived in an apartment on the second floor at the time).
I was walking with my sister and my legs went numb, I had to stop for a bit. was really wierd I had wobbly leg about 1/4 of a mile I laughed the whole way
sweokgrl@gmail.com
After years of avoidance, I was finally convinced to try an aerobics class with some girlfriends. On the way home, I convinced them to stop at the store so I could get “diapers” for the little one. Only I came out of the store with a soda and a candy bar. So much for the workout. whew…it was hard.
I talked my husband into buying me a bicycle for my 50th. After I paid a friend’s husband to put the thing together, I got my helmet on and went to go take my first bike ride in I don’t know how many years. I nearly fell over getting on the blasted contraption, but it wasn’t until I tried to stop that I figured out why it felt funny. I had the front wheel turned around backwards!
My Great Dane used to run with me and she pulled me over and dragged me about 6 feet…talk about road rash!
How about when I ran my first 5k and had a potty accident before I could make it to the bathroom after? EMBARASSING! My friends helped me clean up the mess and luckily, one of them had extra clothes for me to borrow in her car. Still worth it, though!