Look! I’m Branding!

Our house has been on the market for almost two weeks now, and aside from the fact that I’m certain that it’s never going to sell, EVER, it’s going really well!

And I totally get how ridiculous my despair is, seeing as how the housing market has slowed down and houses are staying on the market way longer than average, but the average time for a house to stay on the market in our neighborhood is fourteen days (I know! FOURTEEN DAYS!), and since we’re right on the fringe of that timeframe and the house hasn’t sold, then clearly, CLEARLY, we’re destined to languish on the real estate market for the rest of our natural days.

If you think this is fun to read about, imagine what a carnival-o-fun it is to live with me right now.

(Paradise!)

Seriously, I’m really not all doom and gloom about our house, because I know it’ll sell eventually. Plus, it’s not like we’re in some big urgent hurry to move, so I don’t even have a deadline looming over my head. But y’all know how obsessive I can be, and I’m just not very good with the waiting game.

You may insert your favorite lesson about patience at this juncture.

Yeah. I know. I know. You’re right. I know.

I will say, however, that if there are two words I am sick of hearing right now, those words are “buyers’ market.” Of course, once our house sells and suddenly we switch from being sellers to buyers, I’ll be all, “Oh, ‘buyers’ market’ – those are the most beautimous of all the beautiful words in our language of beauty.”

Also.

This morning I was on the way to meet our realtor at a house that D and I looked at yesterday, and in the middle of all the traffic I kept seeing those bumper stickers that are knock-offs of “W – The Hotel” and “W – The President.” It would seem that it is now in vogue for every single political candidate to use this type of promotional campaign, so I spent much of my time in the car trying to decipher what the various stickers meant.

For example.

I saw one that said “BR” – and I thought, “Oh, Baton Rouge!” But when I got close enough to the car in front of me to squint really really hard and figure out what the words below the initials said, I discovered that it said, “The Governor.” So the “BR” stood for Bob Riley, and I kind of got the reason for the sticker because he’s running for re-election and all.

Then I saw another one that said, “C” – and I thought maybe it was for a local sports team or something. But when I looked closely I realized that it said, “The Sheriff.” I then proceeded to wrack my brain for the last name of our sheriff, determined that his last name starts with a C and thereby judged his bumper sticker to be cryptic but accurate. I for one do not feel that “C” is quite as identifiable as, say, “W” when it pertains to a local elected official, but hey, whatever works, because it did make me think of the sheriff and, you know, remember his name.

And then I saw ANOTHER one that said “C” – and I thought, “Oh, the sheriff must have several colors of stickers.” But then I realized that it said, “The Christ,” and I thought OKAY, PEOPLE – I think we’ve driven this particular fad straight into the ground. I mean, I’m all for evangelizing and spreading the Good News, but putting Jesus’ initial in a knock-off of a W Hotel logo?

He must be so pleased.

Anyhoo.

Never one to want to be left out, I have created the following image for your enjoyment, because I am nothing if not two years behind every pop culture trend and dare I say light years behind anything remotely resembling the cutting edge (unless it’s sassy pants – I try to stay up-to-date with sassy pants):

What do y’all think?

Sure, the concept is pretty tired, and yeah, the colors are pretty plain – but the initials?

They make me giggle.

Because I am a bastion of maturity.

A veritable beacon of propriety in the blogosphere.