An excerpt from an email I got from Merritt last night:

“Well, I’ll be watching Survivor tonight at 7. Now that’s MY kinda show. The kids and S. love it, too. I’ve also been watching Survivor All-Stars reruns marathon on the OLN. Oh, I’ve been enjoying that every night for several hours. That was the whole Amber/Rob love affair fantango [emphasis mine]. They did end up getting married. Of course they’ll divorce as soon as the money runs out. I wish I could be on that show, but you know I”m not much into camping or doing without plumbing and food.”

And that is why I love her.

Reprinted without permission – I guess she’ll just have to sue me. Oh well. The laugh was worth it.

The bags under my eyes are so big right now that I could pack them and head to Europe for a good two weeks. Huge black circles…ever-so-attractive. I tried to use concealer on them this morning, but the concealer, it laughed at me and said, “I can do a lot, sister, but I can’t cover THOSE.” I have my glasses on so that hopefully others will not shriek and then grasp their chests in fear when they see my monstrous visage. It’s borderline comical. And yet horrific. I’m so versatile!

Anyhoo, I’ll be out of pocket for the rest of the day…cooking this afternoon and then going to a concert tonight (we’re so young and hip. Aren’t we young and hip? I think if I have to ask the answer is probably no and no). Very excited nonetheless about a chance to relax with The Husband and listen to some good music.

Details tomorrow…

My two cents, with a little help from Bubba:

Patrick Hall – I can’t even remember what he sang because David and I were so puzzled when the camera showed his friends in the audience after his performance. We had to pause the TiVo for a very long time as we tried to determine if the friend on the right was a man or a woman, and we finally decided that it was a man, albeit a man in drag, and the sheer volume of Restalyne and collagen in his / her lips was staggering. So I really have no memory at all of Patrick’s performance except that it wasn’t offensive. Bubba says he is reminiscent of Clay Aiken and “boring.”
David Radford – For the record, I am SO OVER these “crooners” who basically seem to be doing nothing more than an imitation of what they think a Rat Pack singer would sound like. I just felt like he was acting more than he was singing. Bubba says that he was “jumpy” and “shaky” like Paris.
Bucky Covington – Lynrd Skynrd (don’t know or care if I spelled that correctly) is not my thing. But I could’ve gotten past the song choice if he had been, you know, good. Bubba says, “Please somebody wash and cut his hair!”
Will Makar – The judges (and Bubba) think that he looks like Peter Brady. I think he looks like Fred Savage. Regardless, I think he’ll go far. I love “I Want You Back,” and while his version wasn’t original, he was entertaining. Cute little suburban boy – teenage girls will vote for him by the millions.
Jose “Sway” Penala – First of all, I object to any performer who has a nickname in quotation marks on pure principle. Pick a name and stick with it. Anyway, David and I SO did not get him. But the judges, save Simon, loved him. I agreed with Simon’s assessment that he was too “pimpy.” Bubba says that the only reason Paula liked him is because she wanted his hat.
Chris Daughtry – David and I like him a LOT. I just appreciate that he’s different and distinctive and talented. When I heard that he was singing Bon Jovi’s “Wanted: Dead or Alive,” I thought, “OH NO – that’s really unfortunate.” But it was good, actually. Bubba says it was a “three note” song (picky, picky). :-)
Gedeon McKinney – I just don’t think “Shout” is the way to go if you’re trying to establish yourself as a Serious Vocalist…it’s been done to death, you know? David and I didn’t really get it. It was, well, eh. Bubba likes him because he’s a Memphis boy. We’re all entitled to root for the home team, I reckon.
Kevin Covais – I watched his version of “One Last Cry” again this morning because it is truly one of the more bizarre performances I have ever seen. He never moved, just stood there glued to the stage and sang in his oddly-strong-but-nasal voice. I loved seeing his parents – they seem so proud of him, as well they should be. But I don’t think he’ll make it much longer. Bubba’s assessment: “Bless his heart.”
Elliott Yamin – Last night David and I didn’t really get him, but this morning I thought that maybe I was just sidetracked by All The Bacon. I watched him again, and I got it. Totally got it. He’s talented. He’ll make the finals for sure.
Bobby Bennett – Oh, Bobby. Oh, Bobby Bobby Bobby. See, if you make it to the round of 24 in AI, you really, really shouldn’t sing “Copacabana.” And you really, really shouldn’t wear a cheesy tuxedo. All I could think of was, “Ladies and gentlemen, Carnival Cruise Lines is proud to present the vocal stylings of Bobby Bennett!” I felt a little bit sorry for him. T-Riels emailed me this morning and said, “Two words: BOBBY BENNETT. What the…?????” Bubba’s comment: “Copa-ca-go-away!” I think he will.
Ace Cannon – He is handsome almost to the point of distraction, in my humble opinion. I was wary of him covering George Michael’s “Father Figure,” but it wasn’t bad at all. Like I told David, I’m curious to see if he can do anything beyond “smoldering” – if he’ll be able to cut it when other musical genres come into the picture. He’s in it for the long haul, though.
Taylor Hicks – How much do I love him? How much do I think he’s probably one of the nicest people in the universe? I was so nervous for him that I really couldn’t appreciate his performance of “Levon” the first time around (and I’m not sure it was the best song for him), but I’ve watched it a couple of times since, and good grief he’s talented. The judges loved him, too. Bubba hit the nail on the head re: Taylor’s only negative: “every time they showed him moving around on stage, all I could think of was Elaine dancing on Seinfeld.”

Should go: David Radford and Bobby Bennett
Will go: Bucky Covington and Bobby Bennett
Tonight: We find out who makes it to the round of 20.

Okay, I had really high hopes for all the posting I was going to get done tonight, but Alex had a bit of a run-in with a chair as he was trying to escape a bit of a run-in with the dog, and his forehead is now sporting a lovely blue-ish goose egg with a bright red center. I am sure most of you heard All The Screaming, as I am certain that people in some parts of Canada wondered, “Why do I hear a young child yelling at the top of his lungs? Could that be Alex in Alabama?”

Let me put it this way: he was so upset that I let him have a blueberry PopTart, Cheetos, and Sprite for supper. Grief-stricken, that’s what he was.

The next step in his recovery process was for Mama to play trains. I haven’t talked about Alex’s deep and abiding love of trains, but he is what you might call obsessed. So we went upstairs, and apparently getting down at eye level with the track made him feel much, much better.

Then we had some fun.

And if you look closely on the left side of his forehead, you will see the Frankenstein-ish bump that completely altered my evening plans. God love him.

After he finally went to bed, I fried lots of bacon for tomorrow and watched “American Idol,” and I have LOTS to say about that (AI, not bacon).

Stay tuned. Another friends post coming up in the next couple of days, too. Oh, EK…. :-)

Ayla Brown – She didn’t do a bad job with her Christina Aguilera song, but she has this odd absence of personality. No charisma whatsoever. She’s not horrible, but she’s better suited to school plays and show choir, I think.
Becky O’Donohue – She completely confirmed what I had suspected all along. She made it to the semi-finals because of her looks. When she started to sing, David looked at me and said, “She sounds like she’s from Czechoslovakia and is being forced to sing a song in a language that’s not her own.” But oh, did she ever try to sell it. I ain’t buyin’.
Brenna Gethers – Anyone with that much sass should have loads of talent to back it up. She doesn’t. She brings out extreme feelings of hate and rage in my husband.
Heather Cox – Who? Might be the most unmemorable AI contestant yet.
Katharine McPhee – LOVED HER. She sang one of my favorite songs, “Since I Fell For You,” and her performance, for me at least, was the best of the lot. She’s a natural. Didn’t overwork it, didn’t seem scared to death – perfect.
Kellie (Dawn) Pickler – She’s cute as a bug, and she’s really unaffected. She didn’t butcher Martina’s “How Far,” but she fell into what I like to call “hollering territory” every now and again. She’s not the most talented…but she is really, really likeable.
Kinnik Sky – I love Oleta Adams, and I love “Get Here,” but all I could think of when she was singing was, “Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Georgia, Kinnik Sky!” Total pageant performance.
Lisa Tucker – She’s 16?!?! She’s talented, for sure, and the audience seemed to love her, but she sang “I’m Changing” – and David got a weird look on his face and said, “She’s CHANGING? She’s 16!” The song was a little old for her, but she’ll go far because teenagers will vote for her.
Mandisa – I hated her song choice (I despise any Heart song with every fiber of my being), but she can SANG. Love her.
Melissa McGhee – Um, I don’t get her.
Paris Bennett – It would’ve been a great performance if she had just BEEN STILL. My word she jumped and gestured and, on the part of “Midnight Train To Georgia” where the back-up singers say, “WHOO WHOO,” she made that motion we all made when we wanted truckers to blow their horns on the interstate. I loved listening to her, but I didn’t like watching her. I imagine she’ll settle down over the next few weeks.
Stevie Smith – Liv Tyler look alike or no, she butchered that Josh Groban song. One of the more bizarre performances I’ve ever seen.

Should go: Brenna Gethers and Stevie Smith
Will go: Stevie Smith and Heather Cox
Tonight: the guys! Say a little prayer for Taylor Hicks….

Our third installment (and every day these get longer – I think I’m getting sort of wound up – I may have to go back and add to the others: :-)

5) Tracey – My first memory of Tracey is walking by her dorm room and seeing her sitting on her bed, crying, talking to her (now ex-) boyfriend on the phone and trying to make sense of college algebra. It was a pitiful sight. But we were fast friends. Tracey was also in my sorority pledge class, and now that I say that for the third time I’m starting to realize that as far as sorority experiences go, I sort of hit the jackpot.

Tracey is the girl you want with you when you need free things, like the last of the chicken at Popeye’s or the last of the donuts at Shipley’s. She could talk her way into the Oval Office – I believe that with everything in me. If you happen to find a tape of the 1992 Liberty Bowl, you will see Tracey and me on the sidelines, not because we were serving in any official university capacity, but because she convinced the security guard that we were the cheerleading coaches. See what I mean? She has this all-American look about her that guys love – but because she’s so unaware of herself, women love her, too. For those reasons, she is always – and I do mean ALWAYS – the life of the party. You give T. a band and and just one other person to keep her company, and she will SHUT ‘ER DOWN. EVERY TIME. Our girl has some moves. ;-) Tracey was a cheerleader at State, and besides the fun of seeing her on the sidelines or on television, there was an added bonus in that she taught us all the cheers. I can’t tell you how many nights you would find two or three of us practicing “Go State,” “Bulldog Blitz,” etc., and T. and I always ended our sessions with a double stunt. I was the base, of course. Tracey is also – and I mean this with nothing but sincere admiration – the world’s most enthusiastic bad singer. She’s a TAD tone deaf, but that doesn’t stop her from rousing renditions of “Time and Tide” (which I am proud to have on video), “I Am A Promise” (she worked on that rendition for four years), and a medley of Chi O rush songs.

But there’s so much more to her than the fact that she is utterly entertaining…she is one of the most tender-hearted people I know. If she sees you with even the teensiest frown on your face, she will walk up to you, put her arm around your neck, pat you on the head, and say, “What’s wrong, baby?” Right after she had her first child, I called to check on her, and she said, “Hey – seriously – you have to do this baby thing. He or she will be the love of your life.” She probably doesn’t even remember saying it – but I so remember hearing it – and T., you weren’t kidding. Not one little bit. She now has three of those young’uns (who are as gorgeous as their mama and their daddy), and while I know she has to be exhausted about 95% of the time, I know her babies adore her. I sure do.

I can’t wait to tell her children about…all the times their mama and I went riding around, “spying” on certain people who needed to be spied upon. I have actually held their mama’s foot in my interlaced fingers and boosted her up so that she could see into a window. Oh yes I have. And I have peeled away from the scene, to boot. When her kids get much, much older, I will tell them about the time we did donuts behind the Sigma Chi house and drew a small crowd, but I will not tell them that until long after their college days (I’d hate for that particular practice to be continued by the next generation).

6) Elise – I think it’s telling that the first big memory that I have of Elise is when I wandered up to the dorm room that she shared with T. (for the record, all the same pledge class info applies to E., too) and she was FOLDING CLOTHES. Those of you who know E. know that the only thing that would’ve been more appropriate is if she had been wiping down her kitchen counters, because the girl? She can CLEAN. I always love it when she comes to my house because when she picks up framed pictures, she always wipes any dust off of the glass, and she always makes the bed JUST LIKE I LIKE IT.

Elise is the den mama. When we were in college, she was the person with Band-Aids, safety pins, and she was an expert in stain removal. She has a laugh that I could identify out of a line-up of 100 people, and we have always cracked each other up. She’s one of the most honest, up-front, and outspoken people I have ever known. If you don’t want to know, don’t ask her – because she will flat-out tell you what she thinks. But with E., you lay it all out on the table, get everything in the open, work it out, and move on. I LOVE that. I could not talk to Elise for two years, call her out of the blue, and when she heard my voice, she would say, “So anyway, you remember so-and-so? I was at lunch with her sister the other day, and their cousin, who grew up in Indianola, went to Ole Miss for a couple of years but then graduated from State, well….” You know the whole six degrees of separation theory? With Elise it’s more like four. And if you’re operating within the confines of the state of Mississippi, you can take it down to two. If I could trade skin tones with anyone, it would be her…she has this gorgeous olive toned complexion, and she can tan like nobody’s business. She always puts herself down when she discusses her looks, but she is one hot mama – she just has no idea.

E. and her hubby started dating our freshman year, and while I like to think that David and I don’t have any secrets, we’ve got NOTHING on these two…they are hysterical. T. and I have often said that if E. and P-dub don’t make it, there’s no hope for the rest of us – because they are as committed and devoted to each other as anyone I’ve ever known. Elise was the first one of our “crew” to get married, and she was my first friend to have a child. I remember talking to her the night P. was born – and I cried. It caught me so off guard – hit me out of nowhere – but there was something so right about the person who had mothered all of us finally having a baby of her own. She has three boys now, and I mean to tell you that she has poured her heart and soul into them. If I’m ever trapped on an island, E. is one of the people I would want with me…because she would make mugs out of coconut shells, create a sassy outfit for herself out of palm fronds and assorted foliage, devise a recipe for a fruity beverage, catch and cook a slew of fish for us to eat while we watched the sunset and simultaneously constructed a radio out of plans she sketched out with a stick on the sand. When tough times come, she’s someone you want – and need – in your corner.

I can’t wait to tell her children about…a certain incident behind McKee Dorm involving my 1984 Buick Regal, Elise behind the wheel, a large cloud of smoke from the tailpipe, and a resulting inability to put the car in reverse. And that’s all I’ll say about that.