I have been a terrible, no good, very bad blogger this week. I am deeply sorry. I mean, assuming that bad blogging necessitates an apology which, yes, I guess it could. But work has been, um, lively, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to salvage a book chapter I’ve been working on (my first draft of it was wrong, wrong, so terribly wrong), and then there’s been the fact that I’ve had a standing appointment with the DVR from 8:30-10 every night. That new season of Survivor isn’t going to watch itself, you know.

And here’s the other thing. Earlier this week (well, Monday and Tuesday, to be exact), I talked to a group of older teenagers about pornography. Oh, listen. It was just as light and happy and carefree a time as you might imagine. Except the total opposite of that. I just felt burdened and yuck and maybe a little bit scared. Plus, I am by no means an expert on the topic. I don’t struggle with watching the porn (I’ve started calling it “the porn” because that is the only thing about this particular topic that makes me laugh), but I do have friends and loved ones who are (or have been) tangled up in the mess of it all. Not to mention that I am deeply concerned about what’s going on in our culture as far as the porn is concerned, and I. HATE. IT. I hate what it’s doing to our marriages and our families and our kids. I hate that it’s so accessible. I hate that it grabs hold of our minds and convinces us to pursue an illusion instead of a real-live person. I hate that it drives us into isolation and shame. I hate that there are women and men who feel like they’re empowered by something that enslaves them. I hate that the people who work in the porn industry ever found themselves in a situation where that was an option for them – and I hate that Lord only knows what holds them there.

You may be picking up on the fact that I have Many Strong Feelings where the porn is concerned.

I’m also well aware that some of you may be wondering if you’ve clicked over to the wrong website and BY THE WAY WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TALKING ABOUT TV AND BACON?

So just bear with me for a second. Because there’s a very good reason why I’ve mentioned the porn today: this sermon by Matt Chandler. It’s called “Freedom in the Fight,” and you want to talk about words that are grounded in Scripture, seasoned with salt and full of grace? Have mercy. I cannot recommend this message enough; in fact, I’m pretty sure that I could cross over from “recommend” to “flat-out bossy” because OUR CULTURE NEEDS THESE WORDS. He covers a ton of ground – marriage, covenant, sex, porn, fantasy – and he speaks to each issue in a way that is convicting and edifying without being condemning. The sermon is a tremendous resource if you have older kids / teenagers; and whether porn is an issue in your family or not, this sermon is also a good check-up for anyone who’s single, in a relationship, or married (I haven’t been able to get the words “ferociously committed” out of my head since I listened this past Tuesday morning).

All righty. Thanks for being patient during this departure from our regular subject matter. I’ll try to get back to something concerning TV or bacon in the next couple of days. Or maybe even people cooking bacon while they watch TV. That would be the best of all worlds.

Love y’all.

Hi.

This morning I decided that today I’m going to post a bunch of stuff that makes me laugh and smile because OH MY WORD BRING ON SOME HAPPY.

1. Tim Hawkins on Worship & Prayer

I’m sure that some of y’all have seen this already, but a friend sent me the link earlier today, and the first minute and a half was just what I needed.

2. This past Friday night I went to see NEEDTOBREATHE with my friend Heather. The show was at WorkPlay, which only holds about 300 people, and it was a top 5 musical moment for me. Pure joy from start to finish.

NEEDTOBREATHE 10/5/13 from boomama on Vimeo.

The song is Washed by the Water. You can buy it right here. Also, the NTB guys are on tour right now, and they’re deliberately playing smaller venues. If they’re in your area, you don’t want to miss them. What a treat.

3. Capri Blue Candle-in-A-Jar

It has been scientifically proven that the smell of this candle makes any bad day a whole lot better.

Well, not so much with the actual “science.” But the smell is still divine.

4. All righty, Southerners (and people visiting the South) – apparently there are 100 places we need to eat now. I mean, I’m guessing that we’ll have to pace ourselves, and of course we can’t be 100 places at once, but I LOVE lists like this one. Such a great resource if you’re on the road and want to try out some new restaurants. The list spans from Texas to D.C. and all the way down to Miami, so it covers some geographical ground for sure.

For what it’s worth, I also got totally sidetracked by this list of 70 spectacular Thanksgiving sides. I am intrigued by the two-cheese squash casserole.

5. The Sweeney Sisters’ Christmas Medley

I know. It’s not anywhere near Christmas. But I have been looking for this video off and on for about three years (I posted it once before, but then it disappeared from YouTube), and I was so tickled when I found it today. In addition to the fact that it is singlehandedly responsible for my consistent overuse of the word “anyhoo,” this video is also, in my opinion, the funniest five minutes in SNL history.

Oh, that is a blessing.

Hope y’all are having a great Monday!

So.

When my book first came out, I created a blog Facebook page where I could share info about book signings and whatnot. But then several people said (in the sweetest way) that they didn’t really check Facebook, so I decided that it might be better to put the book signing stuff here on the blog.

And I did just that. On a separate page. A page that I haven’t updated since sometime in, oh, late May.

Which leads me to think that the whole “separate page” tactic hasn’t been terribly successful on my end of things.

That is why I’m about to put some book signing news right here on the front page of the blog, and I’m gonna leave said news at the top of the page over the weekend, and hopefully this method will be helpful for those of you who like to know dates and times and details and whatnot.

All righty.

I have three book signings in the next month or so. Here are All The Facts.

Saturday, October 19th – Time TBA
Social: a shop for gracious living
660 S. Perkins Rd.
Memphis, Tennessee 38117

I can’t wait for this one. It took a sweet forever for us to find a date that worked, but yay, October 19th!

Saturday, October 26th – Time TBA
Lambert’s Bibles & Gifts
10460 HWY 168, Suite 3
Boaz, Alabama 35957

I have never been to Boaz. But I know that Boaz High School’s mascot is the panther. Why do I know this, you wonder? Because when I was in high school and college, the Boaz cheerleaders were always on the ESPN National Cheerleading Championships, and they had a cheer where they yelled, “BOAZ! PANTHERS! ARE REALLY! TOUGH!”

And I watched their routines approximately 392 times.

You’re welcome.

Thursday, November 7th and Friday, November 8th – 11AM – 9PM (I won’t be there until about 1 on Thursday)
Mistletoe Marketplace, Booth #608 (with SoDelta Candle Company)
Mississippi Trade Mart
I-55 and High Street
Jackson, Mississippi 39202

It was back in the spring, I think, when my friend Lea Margaret first asked if I’d like to sell and sign books at her company’s Mistletoe booth. Once I figured out that it would be a possibility for me schedule-wise, she said, “That is great! But just keep in mind that it won’t be official until I get approval from the Junior League to add you to my booth.”

About a month later she emailed me and said, “Sophie, I just wanted to let you know that you have been approved by the Junior League.”

And suddenly I felt a very strong urge to attend a debutante ball.

Anyway, I’m so excited about being in my home state for a few days and getting to participate in Mistletoe, which is the stuff of Christmas market legends in Mississippi. I hope to see some of y’all in Jackson (and in Boaz) (and in Memphis, too).

Have a great weekend, everybody!

I have some very exciting news.

I found my black ruffled shirt this morning.

No doubt y’all have been worried sick about it.

Naturally it was in a place where I have looked and looked and looked and looked, but this morning, when I was looking for something else, the shirt was just sitting right there, and it was all, What gives? Are you having eye trouble or something? Because I’ve just been hanging out here for the last two weeks, wondering when you would finally notice me.

I still haven’t found the cream top. It probably goes without saying that I would appreciate your continued prayers.

All righty. Here’s my almost-weekly list of random stuff I’ve been meaning to share.

1. I don’t know if y’all have seen the fall lookbook for Noonday Collection or not, but it is GORGEOUS. Their earrings, purses, and necklaces are right up my alley. For example.

I’ve been using this bag (it’s called Charlotte’s bag) a bunch lately, and it never fails to make me smile. The small cow horn hoop earrings go with everything, and I’ve worn them kind of an obnoxious amount. They’re oh-so-funky and fun.

Anyway, I just wanted to mention Noonday Collection because they give artisans in third world countries the opportunity to sell their merchandise, and as a result, they change people’s lives. I think that is just all kinds of awesome.

2. Two of my favorite writers released books this week. Angie Smith has written a beautiful children’s book called Audrey Bunny, and Emily Freeman’s A Million Little Ways: Uncover the Art You Were Made to Live is poetic and inspiring. You don’t want to miss either one.

3. My friend Kathryn posted this article on Facebook, and once you see the title, you’ll know why it made me giddy: “Study Shows Eating Bacon Will Make You Live Longer.” Amen.

4. The other night I punched in the channel numbers for Style Network – but Style Network wasn’t there anymore. I thought maybe it had moved to a different channel, so I went online to investigate. Turns out that Style Network is gone forever. That would probably be okay with me except WHAT WILL EVER BECOME OF GIULIANA & BILL? I don’t even know how to process this unexpected development.

5. Now I’m not one to blog about politics because WHY, WHY, WHY WOULD I DO THAT, WHY, but whenever we’re in the midst of political turmoil (and I think the current state of affairs certainly qualifies), I always think about the movie Dave and how everybody worked together! And they compromised! And they found workable solutions!

Only happens in Hollywood, I reckon.

6. LifeWay started a new event for men this past August. The next one is August 1-2, 2014, and the line-up of speakers/teachers is phenomenal. The early bird registration price is mighty good, too.

7. I’ve had to back off football season a little bit this year because I’m writing another book (well, so far I’ve just outlined the new book and taken a stab at the first chapter, but eventually there will be actual words and sentences in place of the blinking cursor that has been taunting me for the last week). That’s why I haven’t mentioned football as much as I usually do. However, my beloved MSU Bulldogs play LSU this Saturday, and I cannot wait. I know that the Tigers rarely lose two games in a row, but FINGERS CROSSED, BULLDOGS. I believe.

Happy Thursday, everybody!

I need to talk a little bit about the eggs.

And I know. We just wrapped up a discussion about pork chops. But I just finished my weekly grocery trip, and I have a few thoughts.

Perhaps I should explain.

When I was growing up, eggs were just eggs. They came in a styrofoam carton that said something persuasive like “EGGS” on the top of it. Or maybe even “Winn-Dixie EGGS.” “Borden EGGS.” Etc. and so on and so forth.

But today, when I was doing my shopping, it occurred to me that I now know more about the eggs I eat than I know about the cashier who checks me out in the grocery store. For example, here is the brand I buy the most:

I don’t know. I just feel like that’s a lot of information about an egg. I also worry that the egg might feel an unintended sense of pressure since it’s an “excellent” source of three vitamins and only a “good” source of a couple of others. Regardless, it’s like at some point egg distributors decided that eggs need to be overachievers, and by diggity they’re going to herald their merits right there on the carton. Because their eggs don’t just have vitamins and less fat. THEIR EGGS WON AN AWARD FOR SUPERIOR TASTE, PEOPLE.

And listen. Don’t even ask me how or why I started buying the fancy eggs. It’s just that one day I looked over at the regular Publix eggs, and I thought, “Well, these other eggs seem like they must be way more healthy. THEY WON AN AWARD.” And then suddenly I felt like a bad wife and mama because I wasn’t providing my family with the best possible eggs (well, at least the best of the non-organic eggs) – at which point I felt a tiny bit angry because since when did buying eggs become such a stressful proposition? I mean, do you how lots of mamas managed grocery shopping when I was a little kid? They threw their purchases in the cart all devil-may-care like while they visited with other shoppers and their kids ran around the store barefooted. Then the mamas paid at the register, collected their S&H green stamps, asked the five year-old to hold the two-year old in the front seat, and smoked with the windows rolled up all the way home.

All I’m saying is that, as a general rule, detailed nutritional information about eggs was not a source of maternal stress in the 1970s.

So.

Today I picked up a carton of our “normal” eggs (and I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it, but THEY’VE WON AN AWARD), and I just happened to look at the shelf right above the Eggland’s Best. I never really pay attention to the little cartons of six eggs since I usually buy an 18-egg carton, but a logo caught my eye.

And the closer I looked, the more I was seized by yet another episode of Egg-Related Insecurity.

I mean, first of all, clearly the chickens that make these eggs are VERY special. They’re cage free, and they live in “sunlit barns and porches.” They not only roam relatively freely; they roam under the cover of natural light, my friends. And next, just look at the nutritional stuff: selenium (no idea what that is), lutein and zea (no idea), not to mention the beloved choline (no idea). Furthermore, each egg has more than double the amount of Omega-3 that’s in the eggs we eat, and it’s actually Omega-3S, a fatty acid improvement that I’m guessing is the handiwork of an intrepid team of designers at Apple.

(By the way, today’s egg experiences have reminded me of this Portlandia video; it cracks me up every single time I watch.)

So I don’t know what’s next. Maybe I’ll switch to organic eggs. Maybe I’ll start buying The Country Hen. Maybe I’ll try to find a local source for eggs (I just watched all six minutes of this video, by the way, and I think what bothers me the most is how utterly fascinated I am by the comparison). Or, who knows? Maybe I’ll go buy some chickens of my own and build them beautiful (SUNLIT!) barns and porches.

The possibilities are endless.

It’s a very eggsciting time.

(I’m so sorry.)

(I couldn’t resist.)

(It was just too easy.)

Before I go to the grocery store every week, I usually try to make out a quick menu based on whatever’s on sale in the meat department. I would love to tell you that it’s because I’m so frugal and thrifty, but the reality is that I choose this approach because I get tired of trying to figure out what to cook. A couple of years ago I figured out that I can just use the weekly ad like a cookbook, and in that sense it’s like Publix makes my meat selections for me. I look to see what meat is on sale, I figure out what I can make with the sale items, and then I make my grocery list. It’s a lovely system.

The only problem – and please know that I am most certainly using the word “problem” in a suburban, first-world context – is that sometimes the on-sale meats are not our favorites. I have managed to navigate our recent anti-chicken crisis by butterflying the chicken breasts (they cook more evenly when they aren’t so thick), so we’re finally all good on the chicken front. The problem, however, is that we’ve recently become iffy about the pork chop. I can’t explain why; it’s just that the last few times I’ve cooked them, I’ve finished supper and thought, “Well, that was pretty much devoid of any flavor whatsoever. Except salt.”

So this past week, pork chops were on sale at Publix. I went back and forth about whether I should add them to my list, but after several minutes of feeling utterly ridiculous because, well, LIGHTEN UP, GLADYS, IT’S A PORK CHOP, I decided that I’d buy some and let them marinate for a day or so. I convinced myself that they’d be overflowing with flavor, that they’d be delicious and tender and the envy of all the other meats. I was happy to have a plan.

Well.

Night before last I covered the pork chops in a chipotle / lime marinade that I’ve also used on chicken. I was fired up. BRING ON THE TASTY. Yesterday afternoon I heated up my favorite skillet, added some olive oil and butter, then seared the pork chops really well on each side before I finished cooking them in the oven. They smelled great, and I was hopeful that we were about to have a pork chop breakthrough.

After we sat down for supper, I cut off a bite of pork chop and prepared myself for A FLAVOR EXPLOSION. But y’all, that pork chop was as bland as the plastic cup of water that’s sitting next to me right now. Except that it wasn’t nearly as refreshing. And after I took a couple of seconds to process the fact that NOT EVEN THE CHIPOTLE COULD SAVE IT, I looked at my husband and said, “Well. I certainly hope you enjoy this bland piece of meat that I have so lovingly prepared for you.”

He took a bite, grinned, and as he pointed as his pork chop, he said, “So. How is it that the animal that gives us something as delicious as bacon also gives us this?”

That is the truth, isn’t it?

So anyway. As for me and my house, we have decided that the pork chop is our least favorite of all the meats. Ham is a close second. And certainly this realization has made us even more appreciative of the bacon. Because the pigs aren’t really working out for us in other meat-related ventures.

And for lo, all these many reasons, the pork chop and I are going on an indefinite break. Sort of like Ross and Rachel in 1997, only without the fringe-y haircut and the assortment of mock short-sleeve turtlenecks from Gap.

What foods have taken a turn for you lately – and not for the better?