Right Now It’s 42 Degrees Outside And I Could Not Be More Delighted

18 October 2009 by

Last week was one of those really fun, cuckoo weeks that no sane person would plan, so I guess it stands to reason that I’m the one who planned it because HEY! IT’S ME! WHO SOMETIMES STRUGGLES WITH THE SANITY! But between coming home from Memphis and then taking Martha back to Mississippi and then church stuff and soccer stuff and work stuff and “writing” stuff, I limped across Friday’s finish line and flopped into my chair and watched so much TV on the DVR Friday night that I should probably be ashamed only I’m not, I’M NOT AT ALL ASHAMED, IT BROUGHT ME UNTOLD VOLUMES OF JOY.

(SIDENOTE that I have to add right now or I’ll forget: tonight at church I remembered something that I’ve been meaning to link to for the last few weeks. For the last couple of months our pastor has been teaching from the book of James, and you can listen or watch online if you’re interested. It has been such a good series. Quite frankly my toes will never be the same.)

I have no idea where I was going before the sidenote. Wait a minute. Now I remember.

Saturday morning we had a soccer game, and you must believe me when I tell you that it was 45 degrees outside and not a single soul at the soccer field was happier about that than I was. I love (LOVE. LURVE. LOOOOOVE.) the first cold snap every year, and I’m always tempted to wear flip flops for the first couple of days of it just so my feet can get super cold and then I can have a small, private Happy Moment when I officially put away the flip flops and pull out the Uggs.

I know. I’m weird. WHY DO YOU LOOK SURPRISED?

After we got home from the soccer game we watched our beloved Bulldogs play MTSU (we won! we won!) on TV. Apparently MTSU’s football stadium is called “The Skillet,” and I cannot even tell you how that nickname intrigues me. Do they call it that because it’s the place where they “fry” their opponents in the manner of some crispy bacon? Because you have to know that I’m fully on board with any sort of bacon / football analogy. Are any of you MTSU fans? Can you explain? Does their stadium smell faintly of charred pork products? I need to know these things.

Anyway, the success of our rushing game against the Blue Raiders has prompted me to make a bold prediction: I think we’re going to beat Florida this Saturday. I really do. I feel it deep down in my bones. Of course, my “deep-down-bones” feelings are basically worthless, but I think we can do it, never you mind that guy named Tim Tebow and the fact that the Gators are the defending national champions. I just feel like I need to make my prediction known so that next weekend if Florida beats us 102-4 we can all meet here and then y’all can ridicule me publicly. It’ll be fun.

Also. I still haven’t written a post about my trip to Memphis last weekend, but condensing the weekend into a blog post is like trying to cram a king-sized comforter into a lunchbox. Or something like that. I’m not really that strong with similes.

But I will say this: I’ll be john brown (my Papaw Davis used to say that all the time) if, almost four years into this blog thing, the internet doesn’t continue to surprise me. I’ll be the first person to tell you that I think we need to be so careful that we don’t call this online world our “community” at the expense of plugging into our local churches and neighborhoods and investing in the lives of people we can see and touch and hear, but there is something so fun and energizing about having time to hang out with people who also love this little bloggy world. There were lots of blog friends in Memphis at Living Proof Live, and every once in awhile I’d look around and see three or four of them just TALKING LIKE CRAZY to one another, and it made me smile. A lot.

I think the internet may be here to stay, y’all. JUST LIKE THE EMAIL.

Martha had a great time in Memphis and SO enjoyed hearing Beth Moore teach. I didn’t know how she was going to respond to the whole event thing because, honestly, Martha hasn’t been in contemporary worship settings very often, and I know that our worship comfort zones are a little different. But she really did love the music, and on the way back to Mississippi last Monday she asked me if Travis had recorded any tapes that she could buy. I told her that I’d see what I could round up.

So all that to say: I’ll be working on that Memphis post. Just as soon as I finish catching up with the DVR. And staring lovingly at my comfy slippers because HEY, IT’S COLD AGAIN, I DON’T KNOW IF I MENTIONED THAT.

Hope y’all have a great Monday!

Filed Under: Beloved Bulldogs, Rambling

If I See ‘Em, Then They Are Already Dead

15 October 2009 by

So first I watched Jim and Pam’s wedding from last week. Now I’m watching this week’s epsiode of “The Office.” I am on a roll. I think I may have just gotten my television groove back. It’s a fine feeling, my friends.

And while I think we may miss Jim and Pam this week, I have high hopes for some Dwight Schrute / Andrew Bernard shenanigans. Here’s to hoping.

– “The fundamentals of business. ‘Mental’ is a part of the word. I have underlined it. Because you’re ‘mental’ if you don’t have a good time. You have to enjoy it.”

– “What topics can you use for small talk?” // “Small things. Peas. Ball bearings. Dimes.”

– “The Fundamentals of Business by Michael Scott. Chapter 1. The businessman…”

– “Push free play to tomorrow morning.”

– “Not everything is a threat. // “MOBSTERS ARE!”

– “R is among the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it ‘murder’ and not ‘mukduk.'”

– “When somebody threatens you, you give in RIGHT AWAY.”

– “I think we should let the criminal use the card a little longer.”

– “I will have spaghetti with a side salad. If the salad is on top, I send it back.”

– “YOU WANNA DO THIS, JUNIOR? I didn’t think so. I’ve had a long day at the mechanics store.”

– “Are you suggesting that we surgically remove the fear center from Michael’s brain?”

– “If there’s one thing I hate more than the mafia, it’s a liar. I wish the mafia would kill all the liars.”

I got a kick out of the three stooges tonight – what did y’all think?

Up next: “30 Rock.”

Seriously. It’s an embarrassment of television riches.

Filed Under: TV Is My Friend

Going To A Wedding

15 October 2009 by

So I’m a full week late to Jim and Pam’s wedding, and I’m pretty sure that my tardiness is outside of all etiquette bounds. But there’s no way I can watch tonight’s episode without watching Jim and Pam first, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

So. Two episodes of “The Office” in one night. AND “30 Rock.”

It’s a better TV lineup than I deserve.

The wedding highlights:

– “This is a firecracker-free wedding.”

– “You’re lucky to have a grandmother. Some of us have to be our own grandmother.”

– “What happens in Niagara stays in Niagara.”

– “Two years ago she sold a mountain bike…and she had a couple of hundred dollars to spend, you know, if she was able to sell her bike.”

– “Not only is Erin really sweet and cute – she smells like my mom.”

– “We should have hired a professional to take our mental pictures.”

– “Hello. My name is Dwight Schrute. If you are listening, it’s because you are a lucky woman….”

– “Confirmation number Romeo, Tango, G, 7, 7, 4, 5.”

– “When Mary was denied a room at the inn, Jesus was born. When Michael was denied a room at the inn, we don’t know what happens because that story hasn’t been told yet.”

– “Nobody’s perfect.” // “Well, I wouldn’t care to live if I thought that.”

– “Just going to do a little freestanding comedy, and if at the end everybody wants to raise their glasses to Pam and Jim then so be it. Hey. What is the deal with the smart car? How smart is that? Those things are tiny.”

– “A lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a girl that I was friends with, but I think, even then, I knew that I was waiting for my wife.”

– “My point is that I said what I wanted to say, and MeMaw, I hope you heard every word.”

– “MeMaw, I think you need to chill out…it’s not 1890 anymore.”

– Meredith and Andy dancing, MY WORD.

– “Are you pushing me off the phone? // No. Let’s talk for a long time.”

– “It’s funny, your wife loved this hat the last time she saw it.”

– KEVIN’S TOUPEE’.

– “I have taken it on myself to do something a little more special. I have painted a portrait of the two of them. From memory.”

– Jim cut his tie! THE SWEETEST EVER.

– The wedding processional. I have no words. But I laughed REALLY loudly when Dwight kicked the bridesmaid in the face.

– “The boat was actually plan C. The church was plan B. And plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago. Actually the day I met her.”

– “I got six numbers. One more would have been a COMPLETE telephone number.”

Well. That was perfection.

No wonder y’all loved it so much.

Filed Under: TV Is My Friend

Hold On, Pam & Jim! I’ll Be There Soon!

14 October 2009 by

So for the first time in my whole life, I just finished a real-live magazine article, something that apparently will be printed on actual, bona fide paper. And a month or so ago, when I told my husband that a very nice person had asked me to write the article, he said, “So. Does this mean you’ll call yourself a writer now?”

“OH. HEAVENS NO,” I replied.

Please remember: magazines may come and go, but a complete absence of confidence is forever.

I’m thinking of lovingly cross-stitching that last sentence on a pillow.

Anyway, the deadline has been hanging over my head for the last couple of weeks, and while I felt pretty good about finishing the article, I experienced approximately fourteen kinds of trepidation about the accompanying biography thing I had to submit.

I mean, I know that this is probably just one more thing to add to my ever-growing list of bizarro issues, but I’m generally not a fan of the serious biography that lists various achievements and qualifications and whathaveyou. Perhaps it’s because I haven’t really achieved anything, nor I am particularly qualified, unless of course we’re talking about eating fried chicken and/or watching reality television, in which case, well, ACES.

So the bottom line is that I’d prefer to condense my life into 150 words without mentioning myself at all. You can appreciate my dilemma, I’m sure. In the end I just copied and pasted the little “about me” blurb that I use at AllAccess. And in case you’re thinking, Gosh, that sure does seem like the easy way out, I would just like to say YOU BETCHA IT IS.

The good news is that now that I’m all done with the deadline-y stuff, I feel like I’m finally going to have some quality DVR time again. I’m at least two episodes behind on almost every show I watch – even three, in some cases, but I can’t talk about that because it stresses me out. It’s an UNPRECEDENTED television backlog for me, but you may rest assured that I am completely committed to tackling it. The DVR will not beat me, my friends. Of this I am certain.

I also plan to sit down at some point and chronicle the wonderfulness that was this past weekend’s trip to Memphis. Yes, there were some funny moments, but more than anything else I got to spend time with some of my closest friends who have never met each other (does that makes sense? Because what I mean, for example, is that Melanie and Emma Kate finally got to meet. And Melanie met Bubba. And Emma Kate met Travis. And Janie met Melanie. And why do I suddenly feel like I’m writing a geometry proof?).

(Because I think we all know that when I’m sitting around catching up on the DVR, I like to write geometry proofs just for kicks.)

(It’s just one of my many math-related hobbies.)

Hope y’all have a great Thursday!

Filed Under: Rambling

Linky Interwebby Awesomeness 10.12.09

12 October 2009 by

– First things first: I haven’t watched the wedding episode of “The Office” yet. I KNOW. But it was late when we got to Memphis last Thursday night, and by the time we ate supper and got settled, we missed it. I’m just sick about it but hoping to get caught up via DVR tonight or tomorrow.

– The reason I haven’t written a “real” post here today is because I used up my allotted daily sentence quotient over at AllAccess. It’s a post about something I learned this past weekend in Memphis.

– Melanie and I watched this video Saturday afternoon and bemoaned the fact that we weren’t in college when “Hey Ya!” was popular because it’s one of the best dance songs ever. But unfortunately it would have been unseemly for us to carry our newborns into a frat house back in 2003 just because we wanted to break it down to a little OutKast.

Edited to add: here’s the OutKast video.

Anyway, I know the video is a few years old, and I know half the world has seen it. But still. It’s a YouTube classic.

– I visited Corky’s BBQ not once but twice this past weekend, GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST. Corky’s puts (delicious) sauce and cole slaw on their BBQ sandwiches, and it’s my absolute favorite. Melanie had never eaten slaw on her BBQ sandwich before, and I think it’s safe to say that her life is forever changed.

I’m SUCH a Corky’s fan, but I realize that BBQ is a very personal preference. What’s your favorite?

Filed Under: Daily Awesome

A New Fashion Catchphrase

8 October 2009 by

Yesterday afternoon I took Martha to Steinmarts. I took her to Steinmarts because she had been in town for a full three hours without making the pilgrimage to the mothership, and when Alex and I got home we found her sipping on her nineteenth cup of coffee and looking like she was ready for a shopping adventure.

I only had to utter half the word – “Stein” – before she threw on her turquoise jacket and grabbed her purse and walked briskly to the front door.

On the way to the Steinmarts Martha ran through her list of “a few things I’d like to find.” As long as I have known her – which, at this point, is the better part of thirty years – Martha has had a like-to-find list in her head. It changes, of course, depending on her fashion and decorative needs, but sometimes the like-to-find is a three-piece suit (jacket, skirt, pants) that she could wear to church and to weddings and to lunch with the girls if, you know, they were going somewhere nice.

Sometimes the like-to-find is a set of salt and pepper shakers with the same color of blue as those dishes that Rose gave her, you know the ones in the pie safe in the breakfast room? The ones with all the pretty colors?

Sometimes the like-to-find is a collarless black jacket with two buttons – but they have to be big buttons! not little buttons! – that she can wear with the red skirt from Dillard’s that’s not really a red-dy red but more of a burgundy-red, only not a true burgundy because she’s never really owned anything in that color, but the red-dy red skirt has sort of a high waist and so it would look cute with a short black jacket, but it really only needs to have two buttons to keep it a little dressier because if it had three buttons it would look more like something you’d wear to work in a bank or maybe even a law firm!

You really just never know.

Yesterday’s like-to-find list was a sofa, a wing-back chair and a small patio set, so I knew from the get-go that we weren’t going to be find any of it at Steinmarts. But I also knew that the siren call of the short, three-quarter sleeve jacket is strong and irresistible. And since I couldn’t take a page from The Odyssey and tie Martha to some sort of mast to help her resist the siren’s call, I opted to completely enable her.

Which is why we were in the Steinmarts for over one hour.

At one point Martha asked me to look at a black and white coat that she found. It really was cute, and I gave it a thumbs-up, but when she put it on, it was way too big in the shoulders and the sleeves hit her fingertips.

“DO YOU SEE?” she said. “DO YOU SEE HOW THIS ‘SMALL’ DOES ON ME? IT JUST WON’T DO! IT WON’T DO! IT’S JUST TOO BIG!”

And I’m standing there thinking that if I tried to put on that ‘small’ coat and worked with all my might to squeeze my arms in the sleeves, a movement of a mere fraction of an inch would turn the whole thing into something that resembled the Incredible Hulk’s t-shirt.

Seriously. A light breeze could blow in Huntsville, and those sleeves would fly off of my arms like rockets.

In the end Martha didn’t find anything – she felt like most of the clothes were “beigey-taupey” and not really anything she was looking for and certainly not anything on the like-to-find – but on the way home she told me a story about a yellow jacket that she recently bought.

I’ll spare you most of the details, but the gist was that Martha got an incredible deal on this cute little jacket that had a little bit of fringe on the sleeves and was sort of a bright yellow, but not a mustard gold! oh no! not a mustard gold! Then she said, “I know you write on the blog that I say things are darlin’, just darlin’, but this one REALLY WAS, Sophie, IT REALLY WAS.”

And then:

“Do you know what it was? Do you know? That jacket was darlin’ plus. It was DARLIN’ PLUS! It was SPECIAL. DARLIN’ PLUS!”

And I’ll have you know that in that very moment a single thought came to my mind: in a day or so I’m going to tell the internet about darlin’ plus. And when I tell them, they’re not going to believe it.

Because “darlin’ plus”? WHO SAYS THAT?

My mother-in-law. That’s who.

So in conclusion, internet, I just want to tell you something.

You aren’t just darlin’.

You’re darlin’ plus. Oh yes you are. YOU’RE DARLIN’ PLUS.

And you can hold that in your heart forever and for always.

Love,
The Daughter-in-Law of Martha / Mother / “Martie”

Filed Under: Family Fun
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