So right now it’s 9:48 in the PM, only my body thinks it’s 8:48, which means that while my head is thinking, Oh, I should be getting ready for bed, my body is thinking, Do we have any brownies? I think maybe I should make some brownies.

I am resisting the brownies, however. Mainly because we don’t have any brownie mix. But if we did I think we all know that I’d be licking batter off a spoon instead of typing this here post.

Ish-ahs. I got ’em.

I was a little apprehensive about how tonight was going to pan out for me TV-wise since “The Bachelor” is over and Molly and Jason have ridden off into the proverbial reality television sunset (FOR THE TIME BEING), but I have to say that tonight’s offerings did not disappoint. I watched “24,” which is actually really good this season if you’re willing to suspend all disbelief and accept the fact that sure, bad guys sporting jaunty camouflage hats could easily overtake the White House using only a hydraulic drill, a laptop and some assorted weaponry.

And if you completely accept the fact that if the president were located in some sort of safe room within the White House, it would be completely impossible for the vice-president to determine her whereabouts by using one of the six hundred computers at his secure remote location.

(I mean, seriously. The president has been taken hostage and the vice-president is really going to say, “Do we know if she’s in the safe room?”)

(HOW ‘BOUT YOU WALK OVER TO THAT BANK OF COMPUTERS AND SEE IF THE NATIONAL SECURITY CODE TO SEAL THE TITANIUM DOOR OF THE SAFE ROOM HAS BEEN ACTIVATED, CAPTAIN BRILLIANT?)

(I’m sorry. Perhaps I am far too invested in this particular storyline.)

Anyway, I watched the first half of “Dancing with the Stars” before “24,” and I watched the second half after, mainly because I could not wait to see Melissa from “The Bachelor.” If you watched you know that she performed beautifully, and I don’t think there’s any doubt that she’ll make it through to the next round.

However.

I need to say something.

The costume that they made Melissa wear?

WAS HORRIBLE.

I mean, it’s bad enough that she had to go through the final rose ceremony wearing that Dwight Schrutian mustard-colored shift dress, but tonight’s turquoise costume was just flat-out insult to injury.

I couldn’t decide if the sleeves reminded me of lattice or overlapped noodles that had fallen victim to a bedazzler. And then there was the turquoise faux-tattoo nestled in the small of her back that beautifully complimented the complete absence of fabric around her stomach, not to mention the big honkin’ turquoise rose in her hair that reminded me of something Dottie West would have worn on an album cover back in 1974.

Frankly, I just think the girl has been through enough without the fine people at ABC Wardrobe making her look like she’s a contestant in the 1982 Miss America pageant. I honestly wondered for a few minutes if the costume people were so short on time that they made her wear Nancy O’Dell’s costume, but then I decided that couldn’t be the case since Nancy tends to wear shorter skirts AND showing that much stomach would not be appropriate for a hard-hitting journalist from “Access Hollywood.”

However, I do think that Nancy would have totally worn that big turquoise rose – perhaps at the base of a tasteful chignon. Or maybe even as an accent to a sweeping side ponytail. Her hair versatility is quite inspirational, you know.

So now I guess I’m going to get in the bed (it’s 10:39! no! it’s 9:39! WHERE ARE THOSE IMAGINARY BROWNIES?) and pretend like I’m tired and then not sleep and then be completely worn out again tomorrow morning (WHO DREAMED UP THIS TIME CHANGE NONSENSE?).

Hope y’all have fun pretending like you’re tired and then not sleeping, too.