Hey y’all –

I’m trying to figure out the winner of the Romance Collection DVD giveaway, but I’ve now counted comments twice and gotten two different winners. And I know that there’s code I can enter to make WordPress number the comments again, but do y’all remember a couple of weeks ago? When I tried to add code? AND THE WHOLE BLOG DISAPPEARED?

So as soon as I get the same name three times in a row, I will post the name of the winner.

In the meantime, send chocolate. Send lots and lots of chocolate.

Not to mention coffee.

Because math makes me very tired.

A few weeks ago we started noticing that whenever I used the oven, the kitchen started to smell like dead fish.

And as we all know, there is nothing quite like the odor of dead fish to convey to your dinner guests that CULINARY DELIGHTS, THEY ARE SERVED HERE.

I figured that something was probably on the burner (?) (element?) (thing inside the oven that turns red?), but even after wiping out the inside of the oven, using the self-cleaning deal, and wiping out the inside of the oven again, the smell stuck around.

It lingered, if you will.

So my best friend Google and I, we did some research. And Google told me that there might be a wiring issue of some sort, so I quickly relayed that information to my husband, seeing as how he handles all our home repair issues.

(I do not venture into home repair issues unless we’re facing a dire emergency because I inevitably get terribly intimidated when dealing with repairmen. They speak a language I do not understand. And when I try to speak their language, I oftentimes cry. So it really is better if I stay out of the home repair picture.)

This past Friday an electrician came to check out our oven – along with some outlets that have been giving us trouble – and while he was here he happened to look over at our dishwasher. Then he said, “You know, I think there’s a recall on that – you might want to check it out.”

And sure enough, when D looked up the serial number online, there was a very urgent message saying DO NOT USE YOUR DISHWASHER! DANGER! FIRE! DISHWASHER COULD CAUSE A FIRE WITH MANY FIERY, HOT FLAMES OF BLAZY DESTRUCTION!

Or something like that.

Anyway, the electrician said we need an appliance repairman for the oven issue, and we ordered the replacement part for the dishwasher, so now we’re waiting on said appliance repairman to call us and set up an appointment so I’ll know when to leave the house and make a Starbucks run while D sorts out the problems with the expert.

Because did I mention that I’m intimidated by repairmen?

I wasn’t sure if I’d covered that or not.

This morning D opened the dishwasher – I guess to make sure that it hadn’t, you know, BURNED UP – and when he saw that there were dirty dishes inside, he said, “Have you, um, been using this?”

And I told him the absolute truth: that I have in fact used it one time since we found out about the recall BUT I only did a light wash AND I stood in the kitchen the whole time the dishwasher was running.

Then he grinned in that way that lets me know he would probably take the time to question my sanity a little more thoroughly if not for the fact that he’s already PLEDGED TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITH ME, and he said, “So you know that you standing in the kitchen isn’t necessarily going to stop a fire from starting back behind the door panel, right?”

“Oh yes,” I replied. “I totally know that.”

And I don’t really know why I just shared that anecdote except to maybe offer further proof that spending six years in the American higher education system is absolutely no guarantee for having, you know, GOOD SENSE.

Because I’m sure that if a fire had in fact started in our dishwasher, I would have found great solace and comfort in the fact that AT LEAST I DIDN’T HAVE TO HANDWASH THOSE PESKY DISHES.

Okay. We recorded this last week. And it took a sweet forever to get it edited and uploaded and whatnot because we forgot to record an ending, so then we had to go back and record an ending, and then we chased about four hundred rabbits when we recorded the ending, so I decided to just tack on all that stuff, too, because SWEET MERCY, HAVEN’T THE SIX OF YOU WHO LISTEN TO THESE THINGS WAITED LONG ENOUGH?

So besides that, I really don’t know what else to say. Except that Travis does an imitation of Neil Diamond that makes Melanie and me laugh until we wheeze. And we talk about American Idol and NASCAR and our ongoing sound issues and the songs Travis sang in 8th grade chorus. We also answer some of your questions (thanks for those, internets), repeat some stories we’ve told before (JUST LIKE YOUR GREAT UNCLE LARRY! ONLY NOT!) and laugh sort of an obnoxious amount. You should expect no less.

Also: Travis wants the whole world to know that HE PLANTED SOME TREES.

Hallelujah and amen.

Click here to listen on the web. Or, you can go here and then click on the speaker next to Episode 12.

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And as always, we thank you for your patronage.

Okay, y’all – I’m a little unprepared for the Idol tonight because I’ve been very busy watching the 100th episode of Dancing With The Stars, so I’m just going to jump feet first into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame show and see how it goes.

I hope I don’t get some form of reality show whiplash.

That would be terrible.

David Cook – “Hungry Like The Wolf” – Aside from the fact that I’d like to openly discourage David Cook from wearing a v-neck t-shirt with lots of necklaces (it disturbs me on levels I can’t even begin to articulate), I was kind of excited to hear that he was singing this song, which takes me RIGHT BACK, OH YES IT DOES. However, it seemed like he was too loud – I could barely hear the band – and while that certainly wasn’t his fault, the fact that I couldn’t hear the music took away from the performance from me. Not his best.

“Baba O’Riley” – It seems to me that David C. is at his best when he gets to do songs that have a certain element of angst to them. So in that sense this song was right up his alley. But I don’t think vocally he was as strong as he has been in weeks past – and again, the cadence of this song was so odd that it was difficult for the audience to know how to respond.

Syesha Mercado – “Proud Mary” – NOW HOLD ON – CAREFUL ABOUT TREADING INTO TINA TERRITORY. And all kidding aside, I just thought this was a’ight, mainly because I felt like she was screaming a whole lot. There’s absolutely no way to surpass Tina Turner’s version of this song, and because of that this felt like an impersonation, not an original performance.

“A Change Is Gonna Come” – I thought Syesha looked absolutely beautiful and sounded great. I thought Randy was a little hard on her – and I actually thought it was smart of her to sing a song that’s not typically sung by female performers. So I say well done.

Jason Castro – “I Shot The Sheriff” – I loved hearing Jason with the horns behind him – that was sort of a fun, funky change of pace. But I think this is a hard song for a crowd (and a performer) to handle. There’s no way to really clap or sing along – and because the audience didn’t really know what to do, the whole thing felt disjointed.

“Mr. Tambourine Man” – Okay. I’m sort of thinking that Jason may be ready to go home. And when you combine his song choices with the fact that he forgot the lyrics, I think going home this week may be a pretty attainable goal. I really do love this guy, but it just seems like he’s over it. Did anyone else feel this way?

David Archuleta – “Stand By Me” – Okay. Contrast this song to Jason’s first song. Note the audience’s response. It’s a night and day difference. Anyway, I have contended for a few weeks that David A. doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself, but there was a little more life in him tonight. And he sounded great singing this song, even if he oversings a little bit for my personal taste.

“Love Me Tender” – Does anyone think that David is playing to his teenage audience just a smidge? This was definitely an interesting arrangement, and he sang it well…very nice job with a more understated performance. But even still – and I can’t really explain it – I just wasn’t feelin’ it, dawg. I wanted to triple love it forever and always, but I didn’t. And for some reason I feel like I should apologize for that, thought I have NO IDEA WHY.

Should go: Jason

Will go: Jason

Best of the night: David A.

If you’d like to add your post to the AI mix, just add a link to the specific post (not your general URL) below. Thanks, y’all!

“Mama, is it still spring?”

“Mama, I don’t have any syrup on my waffles.”

[makes random truck-type noises]

“Mama, why is all this stuff on the chair in my playroom?”

“Mama, I dropped my fork.”

“Mama, when C. comes over to play, can he take a turn on the Wii?”

“Mama, do I need to wash my hands?”

[more random truck-type noises]

“Mama, can you help me?”

“Daddy, can I have an upside down hug?”

“Mama, I had a bad dream.”

“Mama! I put my clothes on!”

“Mama and Daddy, there were two policemen in my dream, and they dropped us in a hole. But then they got us out of the hole, and they said, ‘HEY, BUD,’ and oooooh, that was a close one.”

“Daddy, this is broken.”

“Daddy, did you fix it? WOOOOOOO!”

“Daddy, can I play Mario Party 8 when I get home from school? PLEEEEEEEEEEASE?”

“Daddy, are you taking me to school today? WOOOOOO!”

“Bye, Mama!”

[more random truck noises]

“I love you, Mama!”

And I love you, too, sweet boy.

Today I had a delightful lunch with my hubby and my little man, and when I got home I noticed a FedEx box propped against the front door.

And do you know what was inside that FedEx box? The one and only Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy.

Well, I mean, it’s Mr. Darcy in DVD form. But still. It was a very special moment. And I think we should have ourselves a little giveaway to celebrate.

(However, I should probably warn you that my cousin Paige is visiting right now, and given the fact that she has never met a British romance that she didn’t absolutely love, I’m probably going to have to hide the DVDs for the next 24 hours.)

(In fact, she turned on the TV last night with the sole purpose of catching the last few minutes of “Masterpiece Theatre.” Neveryoumind that I couldn’t even tell her what channel PBS is on because as you know I AM VERY CULTURED AND REFINED.)

So.

If you’d like to win The Romance Collection Special Edition, which is bascially over 30 hours of “star-studded, classic literary adaptations on 14 DVDs” (you can see all the details right here), all you have to do is leave a comment and tell me so. I’ll leave the giveaway open until tomorrow night at 6 o’clock central time, at which point I’ll select a winner using random.org.

And just for kicks, tell me your favorite romantic movie when you leave your comment.

Oh, it’ll be jolly good fun.

(Sorry.)

(I couldn’t help it.)

(Sorry.)

This giveaway is now closed.