This afternoon I had Food Network on in the kitchen because that is what I do when I’m awake and breathing. D. happened to walk through about the time that Guy Fieri started making this, and once D. realized that pan-fried pepperoni was a key ingredient, his mouth fell open as he stared at the television with an expression of pure joy on his face.

After several minutes D. was able to form actual words again, and he started talking about the PEPPERONI and the TWO KINDS OF CHEESE and the fact that all he’d had for lunch had been a small bowl of wet rice. So I told him that I would MAKE THE LASAGNA, ALREADY, but only if he would go to the store to get all the ingredients. And then I mentioned that oh, by the way, if he could give me about fifteen minutes, I’d plan out our menu for next week and he could get all of that stuff, too.

Much to my surprise, he agreed.

That fried pepperoni lasagna is a serious motivator, y’all.

It was the first time D. has gone grocery shopping in at least four years – other than quick trips for a few items. The last time I sent him to the store armed with a substantial list, I made the mistake of writing out what I needed in my grocery list shorthand, and he took the word “starch” to mean the stuff you spray on shirts and pants so that they crease real pretty-like.

When what I actually meant was rice or potatoes – a side dish that would compliment a roasted chicken.

Which, sadly, is a role that Faultless Spray Starch simply cannot fulfill.

Today D. took Alex with him, and they only called me three times from the store, which I thought was pretty good. They came home with every single item on the list (except for a chuck roast; D. was somewhat mystified by the roast-selection process), and they even managed to find the Carb Balance tortillas. In short, they did this mama proud.

Honestly, making the lasagna was a bit more time-consuming than I anticipated. After I made the tomato sauce, I had to run it through the food processor to get rid of all the chunks, and then there was Parmesan to be grated and pepperoni to be fried and noodles to be boiled. It took about an hour, but after I put everything together, I just had to take a picture. Because it’s pretty.

Also: it weighs about twenty-four pounds.

And in case you’re wondering if I’ve fallen off of the no-white-carbs wagon, you should know that I made this lasagna with whole wheat noodles.

So I’m proud to announce that it’s TOTALLY healthy.

This morning I added a little thingy to my sidebar (see? over there? to the right?) called “What’s For Dinner?” I did this because I figure that I need some serious accountability in the cooking department, and it’ll be good to know that some people are checking up on my meal-planning progress. Plus, since y’all were kind enough to share around a hundred recipes with me last week, I thought that a few of you might like to know what we’re trying.

And by “a few,” of course, I mean the two of you who actually care.

I’m hoping to sit down every Saturday or Sunday and plan what I’m cooking for the next week, type it all out here – and then I’ll link to the source of the recipe. If I were a really thorough person I’d go back afterwards and tell you what we thought of the meal, but that probably won’t happen because it requires a certain degree of follow-through, and I think we all know that I’m far too busy thinking about chocolate and watching HGTV to make that type of commitment.

Also: I am lazy.

But I just have to tell you about what I fixed for supper tonight, because I really do think it’s the easiest meal I’ve fixed in, oh, forever. And on top of that – it was absolutely delicious. Insanely good, in fact, when you consider that it took 15 minutes to prepare. FIFTEEN MINUTES.

The original recipe is here, by the way. I decided to make it because D. wandered through the living room the other day when I was watching “Everyday Italian,” and he thought everything she was making looked delicious. However, the pasta recipe on that particular episode had about 14 different kinds of mushrooms, so I decided I’d look for something a little more simple ingredient-wise. Hence the chicken parmesan.

I also only made the recipe for four, not eight – because if I make anything for eight during the week, the leftovers will stay in the refrigerator until they grow feet and try to escape from their frigid prison in the middle of the night. Plus, four chicken breasts fit perfectly in my cast iron skillet, and a one-dish meal is always appealing.

So here’s my version of Giada’s Chicken Parmesan:

4 chicken breast cutlets (if you have regular boneless chicken breasts, cut them in half and pound the devil out of them)
2 Tbs. olive oil, divided
1 tsp. dried oregano
1 tsp. dried sweet basil
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. lite salt
1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
1/2 tsp. paprika
3 Tbs. butter, divided
1/4 cup Italian blend shredded cheese
1 jar Classico Cabernet Marinara sauce
1 box Healthy Harvest whole wheat thin spaghetti

Preheat oven to 475. Put one tablespoon of olive oil and one tablespoon butter in skillet over medium heat. Put salted water for pasta on the stove (MAKE SURE THE WATER IS IN A POT, SILLY).

Brush chicken with olive oil, then sprinkle one side with half of all seasonings.

Place chicken seasoning side down in skillet – and while it’s cooking, sprinkle the other side with remaining seasonings. Cook for two minutes per side – then remove from heat. Pour 3/4 jar of marinara over the chicken and place 1/2 Tsp. of butter on top of each chicken breast. Sprinkle cheese over all, and put the skillet in the oven for about 6-8 minutes.

Once you get the chicken in the oven, your water for the noodles should be boiling. Add spaghetti – and cook for 6-8 minutes.

Drain the noodles once they’re done – then remove skillet from oven. Serve chicken and marinara on top of pasta.

IT IS SO STINKIN’ GOOD AND EASY.

I just did a green salad on the side, but some fresh French bread would have been mighty fine indeed.

I think Alex would have loved this meal, too, if he weren’t under the weather with a stomach virus (a for-real virus – not an I-don’t-like-the-new-whole-wheat-bread virus), but he did eat some plain noodles like there was no tomorrow in addition to drinking about 32 ounces of Sprite. So I think he’s on the mend.

Bon appetit, y’all!

Now I know that I’m the same person who just yesterday posted five different ways to clog your arteries during the early morning hours.

But put me in the kitchen past 11 AM? And I am in a major cooking slump. Maaaaajor.

Unprecedented, in fact. At least for me.

Because aside from all the food that I cooked last weekend for our company, I’ve cooked, oh, twice in the last two weeks for our family. At least I think I have. But it might just be once. I’m not kidding.

And so, for supper, we’ve been eating fine fare like oatmeal, grilled cheese, cereal and peanut butter. If it were just D. and me, I wouldn’t worry about it, really – but I’m a little afraid that Alex is going to start to think that Pringles are one of the four major food groups, and I have GOT to do better. Got to.

The problem isn’t that I don’t want to cook. The problem is that I am SO STINKIN’ SICK of all my usual recipes. I just can’t fix another chicken casserole with a Mexican flava, another Italian-esque ground beef delight, another noodle and cream-of-something combo. And I need some new recipes to light my culinary fires, as it were.

So will you help me, internets? If you have a favorite recipe that doesn’t fall under the categories listed above – and especially if you have a great crockpot recipe (anything I can make ahead of time IS MY FRIEND) – would you leave said recipe in the comments? Please? For me and for all the other internets, too?

I’ve gone to all my usual sources for inspiration…but the recipes either look like a variation of everything else I have, or they’re far too complicated to make when I have a four year old begging me to go to the park or play bowling on the Wii or sit in the floor and stare at him while he bounces up and down on a plastic bin that contains all of his size 18-24 month clothes.

Not that all of those activities aren’t absolutely thrilling, of course.

So on behalf of my family, I thank you in advance. I especially thank you on behalf of D., who just ate Fruity Cheerios for the third night in a row. Fruity Cheerios sent to me for bloggy review, by the way.

Because apparently I can’t even muster up the will to, you know, buy food anymore, much less cook it.

Help me.

A few days ago I got an email from Cindy, a sweet reader in Texas who had recently read my post about my aunt and my cousin coming to visit this past weekend, and she wanted to know if I’d share some of my make-ahead breakfast recipes.

To which I replied: “Um, YEAH!”

Because I don’t mess with Texas, y’all.

I’ve posted a couple of these recipes before, but they’re so delicious that I just had to include them again. And you can make all of these ahead of time, which makes cooking breakfast for company so much easier. Add a little fresh fruit and some hot coffee, and you’ll have a meal that almost any guest will love.

And if they don’t love it, they can just, you know, leave.

KIDDING!

Cheese Grits

4 cups chicken broth
4 cups water
2 1/2 cups Quaker Quick Grits (not instant)
1 tsp. salt
1 stick butter, divided
6 oz. Velveeta*, cubed into small pieces
4 eggs, beaten
1/2 tsp. garlic powder (optional)
2 cups sharp cheddar cheese, grated and divided
paprika for garnish

Bring salted water (along with half a stick of butter) to boil. Gradually add grits, stirring constantly. Once grits have been stirred into water (no lumps), reduce heat to medium, cover, and cook for 5-7 minutes.

While grits are cooking, cube Velveeta, beat eggs, and spray casserole dish with Pam.

When grits are done, remove from heat, and incorporate remaining butter, Velveeta, and one and a half cups of the grated cheddar cheese. (I usually test to see if more salt is needed at this point.)

Temper your eggs by stirring about a quarter cup of grits into beaten eggs…then transfer egg mixture to grits mixture.
Stir well, making sure everything is blended.

Pour grits into casserole dish, top with remaining grated cheese, sprinkle with paprika and bake at 375 for 30-45 minutes.

* – If you don’t have Velveeta, then just substitute regular sharp cheddar. My husband actually likes the grits better that way.

Kim’s Breakfast Casserole

I know there are tons of recipes for this casserole, but I think this one is the simplest and the best.

1 stick of margarine or butter
6 slices of bread (wheat or white – and I leave crusts on)
1 lb. of pork sausage
1 lb. of shredded mild cheddar cheese
6 eggs
1 pint of half & half
1 teaspoon salt

Brown the pork sausage and drain the grease. While it is browning…melt the stick of butter. Dip the bread in the melted butter to cover both sides of the bread. Place the bread in a 9 x 13 dish sprayed with PAM.

When the sausage is browned, spread it over the buttered bread in the pan. Sprinkle the cheese over the sausage. In a blender, mix together the 6 eggs, the half & half, and the salt. Pour this mixture over the cheese.

Cover tightly and place in the fridge for 8 to 24 hours (at this point it can be frozen). Bake at 350 for 45 minutes.

Apple-Craisin French Toast Casserole
from allrecipes.com – and I’m actually making this one for our praise team at church this weekend

1 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup butter, melted
3 apples – peeled, cored and sliced
1/2 cup craisins
1 (1 pound) loaf French baguette, cut into 1 inch slices
6 eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/2 cups milk
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Grease a 9×13 inch baking dish. In a large bowl, mix together brown sugar and 1 teaspoon cinnamon. Mix in melted butter. Stir in apples and raisins until evenly coated. Pour into prepared pan. Arrange bread slices in an even layer over apples.

In the bowl, whisk together eggs, milk, vanilla and 2 teaspoons cinnamon. Pour over bread, making sure every slice is fully soaked. Cover with aluminum foil, and refrigerated overnight.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Remove dish from refrigerator while the oven is heating. Bake covered for 40 minutes. Remove cover, and bake 5 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

Granite Steps Coffee Cake

1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 (12-ounce) can buttermilk biscuits
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted
1 cup quick-cooking rolled oats
1 1/2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries
1/2 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Generously grease a 9-inch square baking dish. In a small bowl, combine brown sugar and cinnamon and mix well with a fork. Separate biscuit dough into 10 biscuits. Cut each biscuit into quarters, and dip each piece in melted butter and coat with brown sugar mixture. Arrange in a single layer in baking dish. Sprinkle with 1/2 cup of the oats.

Combine blueberries and sugar in a bowl and toss to coat. Spoon over oats and biscuits and sprinkle with remaining 1/2 cup oats. Drizzle remaining melted butter on top. Bake for 20 minutes or until cake is golden brown and center is done. Cool for 20 minutes. Serve warm.

Crescent Roll Breakfast Casserole
1 12 oz. package bacon, chopped and fried (reserve about 2 Tbs. of bacon grease)
2 packages fresh sliced mushrooms
2 packages crescent rolls
8 large eggs, beaten
2 cups Pet milk (Pet milk is a brand of EVAPORATED milk that we like in the South):-)
2 cups milk
2 cups shredded Swiss cheese

Cook bacon pieces. Drain on paper towels. In reserved bacon grease, saute’ mushrooms until they lose their firmness (about 8 minutes). While mushrooms are cooking, press crescent roll dough in the bottom of a large (around 10 x 13), greased casserole dish, making sure that you press all the seams together. Depending on the size of your casserole dish, you may have a little bit of dough left over.

In a separate bowl, combine eggs, Pet milk, milk, and cheese. Set aside.

Scatter bacon and mushrooms on top of the crescent roll dough. Pour egg / milk / cheese mixture on top.

Bake 15 minutes on 325 degrees, then 35-40 minutes on 300 degrees.