To Know This Love That Surpasses Knowledge

One day a month or so ago Alex and I were in Publix, and completely out of the blue he asked me if he will go to heaven one day. Because I was a little distracted by the fact that at some point pot roasts have started to cost about the same as a cute pair of shoes from Target, I sort of off-handedly replied, “Well, yes, buddy, if you have asked Jesus into your heart, then yes, you will go to heaven.”

And then Alex got very quiet, and after about a full minute of Deep Soul Searching, he screamed “JEEEEEEEEEEEE-SUS! COME INTO MY HEART!” right there next to the pot roasts, only he said it not like he recognized his fallen heart’s need for a Savior but more like he was aggravated with Jesus for not sharing His toys.

So while I wasn’t completely sure that the little man was clear on some of the more fundamental doctrinal issues, I was entirely certain that Jesus had good reason to take issue with his tone.

But then, about five minutes later, when I was seized by TOE CRAMPS, of all things – toe cramps so severe that I could not imagine that my left foot would ever function properly again – I told the little man that I had to stop for a second before THE PAIN MADE MY KNEES BUCKLE, and he responded by saying, “Mama, I would like to tell a prayer for you.”

I said that would be wonderful, so we bowed our heads right there in front of the dairy case and he put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Dear God. Please help Mama’s toes to feel better in Publix so that she can wear her shoe. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.” And he was so deeply sincere about the whole thing that I wondered for a split second if his profession of faith over in the meat department wasn’t the real deal after all.

I’ll probably never know exactly what was going on in Alex’s heart and mind that day in the grocery store, but I do know that he’s been chock-full-o-curiosity ever since. So we’ve spent last few weeks talking through all sorts of four year-old questions about God, and while part of me thinks that four is too young for a child to have any real grasp of sin and sacrifice and atonement and resurrection, a much bigger part of me knows that there is no faith as simple and profound as the faith of a child.

I also know that this is the time to plant those seeds of faith and then water them as much as we possibly can so that the little man’s roots will grow deep, so that one day he will be able, as Paul wrote, “to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that [he] may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

And so, we answer Alex’s questions. We talk about God. We talk about the joys of knowing Him, of serving Him, of trusting Him. We pray that he sees evidence of those joys as he watches his mama and daddy work out their faith every single day.

And it has been, quite simply, one of the sweetest times of my whole life.

Before Alex was born, I imagined that this child whose face I had not yet seen would sit with me at a desk while I carefully read passages of Scripture aloud. Everything would be Perfectly Orderly; I would Teach With Care while my child Listened Attentively. Then we would clasp our hands together and begin the walk toward faith with lockstep precision, only stopping long enough for him to surrender to whatever calling God might have on his life.

Because I wasn’t idealistic or anything.

But the reality, as anybody with a little one knows, is absolutely nothing like that. The daily process of teaching and leading a precious little heart is about as methodical as herding a room full of cats. And you know what else? It is hard. On every single level. So much of parenting uncovers our own imperfections, and we are constantly being humbled, broken and refined in our own lives while we try to nurture the little lives that have been entrusted to us. Did I mention that it’s hard?

There are days when I’m really disappointed in myself as a mother; I get so tired of struggling to balance the things I need to do with the things I want to do, and as a result of that I am confronted with the reality of my selfishness over and over again. It’s a mighty good thing indeed that I don’t have to parent in my own strength, because I’ll tell you right now that I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t last a day.

But the rewards of parenting? They really are huge. They’re immeasurable. They’re eternal. And the longer I’m a mama, the more I find that the most teachable moments in terms of faith don’t require much organization or planning on my part. They don’t necessarily happen while we’re sitting in a church service or when we’re Reviewing Memory Verses With Great Intention, though certainly I believe that God uses those things.

For me the most breathtaking moments – the times when D and I are both able to share our faith with the most sincerity and transparency – are when Alex picks up a maple leaf from the ground and then says, with wonder, “GOD MADE THIS!” Or when he runs into the house after being outside and says, “Mama! I missed you! And I talked to Jesus while I played!” Or when he’s sick with a stomach virus and says, through his tears, “Mama? Will you always take care of me? Will God always take care of me?”

Or even when he puts his hand on my shoulder in the middle of a crowded grocery store and prays for my toe cramps while we stand next to six different brands of sour cream.

In many ways motherhood is absolutely nothing like I imagined but so much more than I expected. And for me, right now, the greatest joy is sharing the Greatest Joy with a four year-old who may get a little cloudy on the theological details – but whose heart is wide open.

I cannot imagine any greater privilege.

This post was originally published on October 23, 2007.

Looky Here! Bloggy News!

A couple of months ago Melanie and I had a meeting with some great people from Lifeway Women.

And they told us that they were planning to start a blog.

And after we talked for awhile, they asked us if we might want to, you know, write some stuff for their blog.

And then I looked around the room to make sure they were actually talking to me because, well, it was Lifeway, and I’m a person who writes a blog that’s primarily about fried chicken, television, and klassy topics like this and this. Not to mention the fact that my early twenties were A BIT OF A SPIRITUAL TRAIN WRECK.

(This is where the devil wants me to list all the mistakes I made back then, but I will not be cooperating with his wishes because 1) he’s the devil and 2) believe you me HE HAS CAUSED ME ENOUGH GRIEF ALREADY.)

And as it turns out, the whole spiritual-train-wreck thing is one of the reasons why writing for this Lifeway blog was a no-brainer. And not because I did dumb stuff in my early twenties and as such I should be rewarded! With a new writing opportunity!

Um, please.

It was a no-brainer because, more than a decade removed from All The Foolish Foolhardy Foolishness, I know firsthand that God does life-changing (LIFE! CHANGING!) work through Lifeway’s Bible studies and conferences.

Because remember what Paul says in Ephesians 3:20-21? Well, HE ISN’T KIDDING, PEOPLE.

So as women who, like so many of you, sit in the Lifeway conferences and do the Bible studies and read the books and marvel at God’s unlimited grace and mercy as we walk through that whole working-out-your-salvation thing, Melanie and I are tickled to be able to contribute to the Lifeway AllAccess blog. Because now we’ll get to write (or, in my case, “write”) about sitting in the conferences and doing the Bible studies and reading the books and marveling at the grace.

And don’t worry. We’ll for sure be taking our collective crazy over to the Lifeway site. There’s really no sense in pretending to be normal since the pretending requires way too much effort and, quite frankly, we’re tired.

Mel and I – along with the Lifeway women’s ministry team – will be posting on AllAccess a few times a week while continuing business as usual on our personal blogs. And while I won’t put up a big flag in the sidebar every single time I have a new post over there (Mel has a post up today, and I’ll post for the first time tomorrow, probably), I do have a Lifeway AllAccess button over there to the left, and I’d love it if you’d click on it from time to time to see what’s going on.

Because one thing is for sure: this new blog won’t be nearly as fun without all of you.

So y’all come see us, ya hear?

Because Nothing Says Easter Like A Mixtape

A week or so ago I realized that I was listening to certain songs over and over again. I couldn’t figure out why I was gravitating to them, and then I thought, HAVE MERCY, IT’S ALMOST EASTER – and thus solved the repetitive song puzzle.

Let’s just say that the Cross has been a bit of a theme.

So then I decided that I wanted to make an Easter playlist of sorts for my iPod. I mean, I am, after all, a product of the 80’s, and a new iPod playlist is the 21st century equivalent of a mixtape. However, unlike the 80’s, there will not be any Corey Hart songs on this particular mix. Nor will there be any Rick Astley.

(Go ahead and try to get “Never Gonna Give You Up” out of your head right now. Just try. But you can’t, can you? Because that song’s never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry. Never gonna say good bye. Never gonna tell a lie. And hurt you.)

(Thank you. Thank you so much.)

So after I finished my playlist, I thought, “Hey, I should post this list on my blog.” And in order to do that, I decided to bring the mixtape into the 21st century by creating an iMix on iTunes because as it turns out, I can share the iMix with the internets. Which is very handy.

However, I want to tell you something very important about my Mad Easter Mix. One of the songs I originally included that iTunes dropped from the mix (the song wasn’t available, apparently) was “Amen” by Larnelle Harris. It also tried to drop “Alive Forever, Amen” by FryDaddy, and I was just sick – SICK – about Travis’ song being left off of the mix (IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE LAST SONG! THE FINALE! MY WHOLE MIXTAPE WAS RURNT!), so I began making arrangements for him to travel to each one of your homes and sing it to you in person.

After all, it’s Easter. It was the least I could do.

But then I managed to fix it and “Alive Forever, Amen” is back in the mix – right where it belongs.

Also: I don’t think “Rock of Ages” is typically regarded as an Easter song, but Chris Rice’s arrangement is so beautiful that I had to include it. Just like I had to include “Hard To Handle” on that mixtape of ballads back in 1990. It didn’t fit the theme, but I needed to hear it. Because clearly I am a musical renegade.

So with all that being said, I give you my Easter iMix. And I really do hope you enjoy it. Even if you only listen to 30-second snippets of each song.

Just click here if you’d like to see my list…and feel free to add your own songs in the comments. Maybe we could combine all of our suggestions and make, like, THE BEST MIXTAPE EVER!

Or not.

But regardless: Happy Easter, y’all!

Dear Thursday. At First I Did Not Enjoy You. But Now I Have Changed My Mind.

A few months ago I wrote about how I was waiting on some stuff related to some things. In fact, Melanie and I have been waiting together, and OH, the waiting we have done. Because there has been a lot of waiting. So much waiting, in fact, that we sort of forgot we were waiting because waiting felt so familiar. It was our new normal! And we were understandably thrilled.

Who wouldn’t be?

After all, holding patterns are fun.

Well.

Wednesday night I sent an email to someone who has been our Official Contact during the waiting. This person, an employee of A Large Corporation, has guided us through conference calls, planning sessions, more conference calls, more planning sessions, and finally, even more conference calls. In fact, I am a conference call expert now.

(Go ahead! Ask me anything! And I will tell you about the necessity of pressing pound after you enter your conference number and then waiting until after the tone to announce your arrival on the call. Because, you see, I have learned things.)

But Wednesday night? When I emailed our Official Contact?

I got a reply in about four seconds. A reply that informed me that our Official Contact – who is smart and professional and all-around wonderful – is no longer an employee of the Large Corporation. Clearly something was awry.

And then, Thursday morning, Mel and I received an email from the Big Boss. The email was very kind, very gracious, but the bottom line is that the deal is over. Done. Not gonna happen.

Internets, I will be very honest: I was none-too-happy about those developments.

Because any way you add up those developments from a financial standpoint, it looks like this: months of waiting + no deal – loss of potential income = WHOA, NELLIE, THIS IS GONNA SMART.

And any way you add up those developments from an emotional standpoint, the sum is pretty much the same: WHOA. NELLIE. SMARTING.

And that is why, around 11:30 yesterday morning, when I should have been running errands, I turned into a shopping center, parked my car next to Panera Bread, started to cry, called my husband, proceeded to cry some more, took my laptop into Panera so that I could tell the internets all about my troubles, realized that there weren’t any tables available, fought back tears, walked back out to the car, sat down in my seat, and cried some more.

So I guess you could say that I was a little emotional.

After all: WE WERE COUNTING ON THIS. Our families, in so many ways, have been counting on this.

But do you know what? Smack dab in the middle of what was no doubt one of the most draining 24-hour periods of my life, God gave me the gift of an absolutely incredible afternoon. My husband hugged me when I walked in the door and assured me that everything was for the best. My sister offered some mighty wise perspective via email, as did Emma Kate, whose email is now printed out, folded, and tucked away in my Bible forever and ever. I will treasure it for the rest of my life.

Emma Kate’s friend Jennie reminded me of the words to “He Leadeth Me” (which, by the way, will send you straight into the ugly cry, oh yes it will). Lysa called and was so encouraging that I actually contemplated running some laps or something.

Don’t worry. The lap-running urge passed. Aye, and quickly.

Then I picked up a little boy from preschool. He had clown paint all over his face, pizza all over his shirt, and a smile as big as the sun. He grabbed my hand as we walked to our car, and he told me it had been a GREAT! DAY!

Much to my surprise, I was starting to agree with him.

Mel and I talked later that afternoon, and we marveled at all the doors God has opened in the last year. We can hardly complain. My friend Daphne called to check on me, made me laugh until I wheezed, and agreed that while I’m in a different spot than I thought I’d be right now, it’s probably going to be a better spot than I could have ever imagined.

I asked her if there was going to be any cash money at this new spot. And then we laughed some more.

Then Janie emailed to check on me and to let me know she was praying. I went to Bible study, where we had an incredible time of fellowship as we studied passages on suffering (can somebody say, “I GOT ME A WORD”?). Alex had fallen asleep by the time I got home, so I crawled in his bed and kissed his little face. And I was reminded that there’s no “deal” this side of heaven that could compare to the joy of being that little guy’s mama. This I know for sure.

The rest of the night was blissfully ordinary: talked to the husband, watched some TV, chatted with a couple of sweet friends and giggled like crazy. By the time I went to bed, I felt like if I started counting my blessings, I would never, ever finish. There’s just no way to name and number them all.

So the stuff and the things? That we’ve been waiting on since April? Not gonna happen. Not now, at least.

But the body of Christ? Alive and kickin’, my friends.

And for now, that is all I need.

The Burgess Family

If you live in the South, you’ve probably listened to Rick and Bubba’s hilarious, family-friendly radio show at some point. And if you listen to them regularly, you’ve no doubt heard that tragedy struck Rick’s family this past weekend.

Bronner Burgess, the two year-old son of Rick and Sherri, died Saturday night in an accidental drowning at their family’s home.

I won’t attempt to recount the details; you can get more information here, and you can see a message from the family here. You can also see interviews with Bubba here and here. I think you’ll agree that their faith is nothing short of remarkable.

Please keep this sweet family in your prayers.

Re: Resolutions And All The Accompanying Resolution-Type Resolve

For the last couple of months I’ve been trying to contain most of my links on my succinctly-named Daily Linky Interwebby Awesomeness page.

(And by the way? An observation? Based on what I named that particular page?)

(If brevity is the soul of wit, then I am in a whole heap of trouble.)

But today, my friends, I have a link that I’m going to put front and center. Right ‘chere on the main page. Because I really do believe that your new year won’t be complete without it.

(OHMYWORD at the build-up.)

(I do hope you’re not disappointed.)

Because here’s the deal. There are some pretty wonderful things on the horizon in 2008. A couple of those things have caused me to doubt myself in ways I didn’t even know were possible. I’m talking about the kind of doubt where I’ve dragged up some DONE GONE AND DIED sin and then proceeded to beat myself up over stuff that God forgave YEARS ago.

I’m talking about the kind of doubt where I’ve surprised myself by my willingness to deviate from God’s clear direction because MY WAY IS EASIER, THANK YOU, and really, it’ll be almost as good, I PROMISE.

I’m talking about the kind of doubt where I’ve thought that I don’t need to be writing at all. Or “writing.” Or blogging. Because hello? I have baggage. I am as imperfect and as fallen as they come. And while I can laugh about most of the things that have happened in my life, make no mistake: there are times that I look back on and shudder. There are times, quite honestly, that I look back on and grieve.

I’m telling you: the whole doubt thing has been a real party. A party without any of the, you know, fun.

But OH, INTERNETS – do I ever have a good word for every single one of us. A word that hit me right between the eyes. And that went straight through my heart, to boot.

At some point in the next few days, when you have 30 or 40 minutes to yourself, fix yourself a yummy snack, grab your Bible, and listen to this message by David Platt.

No matter where you are on your spiritual journey, no matter which denomination you prefer – just listen. I cannot imagine a more encouraging way to begin this new year.

Because first up on my list-o-goals for 2008?

I’m getting the heck out of Shechem.

Oh yes ma’am I am.